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Not all dentists have the personality or time to treat anxious people. You'll want someone who has a holistic outlook on people
(not to be confused with "holistic dentistry"!! - see below) and who has the necessary people skills. Some dentists
don't view this as part of their job description and regard themselves as "tooth mechanics" instead. The argument
tends to be that since their job is to treat teeth and gums, they can hardly be expected to be psychologists. And fair enough
- some people don't mind, but that's no use if you suffer from dental fear or phobia.
By the way, the same goes for doctors - some view themselves as treating the body and nothing else, whereas others realize
that their patients have psychological needs as well. While there has been a trend towards a more patient-centred approach,
it is still true that not all medical professionals view good bedside (and chairside) manner as part of their job description.
And then, of course, you do get the occasional monster... Don't let this deter you, because weeding out the good from the
not-so-good (or bad) ones is doable!
First Steps
The best way of finding a dentist who's good with scared people is word-of-mouth. Which is a bit of a problem if you suffer
from dental phobia, because you may be too embarrassed to ask around. Don't be! You'd be surprised at how understanding most
people are. Dental anxiety is extremely wide-spread, and you might even happen upon an ex-dental phobic who can recommend
a dentist. Ask friends, work colleagues or relatives whom you believe to be empathetic people. If they're lukewarm about their
own dentists, or if they say "everyone hates going to the dentist", it's time to ask around elsewhere.
Another port of call is your GP's practice. Explain the problem to the receptionist. Receptionists can be great people
for information. They may be able to recommend someone, or else your doctor might know of a dentist who's great with people
who are scared of dentists. People who have found a great dentist are usually very enthusiastic about them - don't settle
for someone who's described to you as "quite good" (unless the person you're talking to is extremely critical and
"quite good" is their highest accolade ;))! Ask questions - get as detailed a description of the dentist and their
practice as possible. Having said that, some GPs are anything but sympathetic, so this is may only a runner if you do have
a GP you like.
If asking around seems too scary or too embarrassing, you may be able to get someone else to do the asking around for
you. For example, you could ask a friend to make some phone calls to find out which dentists are good at treating nervous
patients, or go around the actual dental practices/offices to get more info. Make a shortlist of suitable dentists and then
call or e-mail some yourself, to see which one feels right for you. Be open about your concerns - it's only by sharing them
that you can obtain the support that you need.
In some areas, there may also be self-help groups for people suffering from dental phobia. Yet another option includes
finding a psychologist or counsellor who does phobias. Ring up and ask if they deal with dental phobics frequently and if
they'll be able to refer you to a phobic-friendly dentist. Dental phobia counselling on its own is not much use unless you
have the right dentist to "cure" you of your phobia (just my opinion) .
Another good place to get recommendations are local internet discussion groups. Regardless of what the group is about,
you could simply post asking for help in finding a dentist for someone who's extremely scared. Have a look at the following
examples:
Berkeley Parents Group
Dentists (child-friendly) Essex
In the UK for example, you could consider posting your request on something like
www.askyourneighbour.co.uk
You could also ring whatever dental association there is in your area and ask them for recommendations. If you're in the UK,
you could try and contact your local Health Board. They will be able to tell you of any dentists who take new NHS patients,
and may be able to tell you which ones offer anxiety management. But they won't be able to tell you if those dentists are
any good with phobic patients. In the UK, there are community dentists who can work with phobics on the NHS, so if you can't
find a suitable NHS dentist and can't afford to go private, you may want to get a referral from your GP. Be warned - in some
areas, waiting lists can be very long indeed (occasionally more than a year).
In some areas, there may be "best practice" schemes. Practices which adhere to these tend to be pretty safe
choices, especially if they explicitly state that they treat nervous people. For example, in the UK there's the well-monitored
Denplan Excel accreditation scheme and the BDA Good Practice scheme.
Also look out for practices which offer new patient-friendly technologies such as HealOzone (not available in the US at
present), air abrasion, WaterLase and the like. Even if they can't be used in your particular case, you'll have a higher-than-average
chance of finding a phobic-friendly dentist there (I found HealOzone internet groups to be packed with them!). "Holistic"
dentists may also be friendlier than average, but beware: all it really means is amalgam- and root-canal-free (which may equate
to getting silver fillings replaced for no apparent reason and pulling saveable teeth, as far as I can see). Personally, I
reckon it's quackery, but some folks swear by it.
Vocational trainers (i. e. dentists who train newbies) can also be a safer choice (note the -r, not all of them will be
good with "nervous patients"). It's very hard to find "phobia specialists" - and it's not really all that
necessary. I've talked to quite a few of them, some I liked, others, well - no comment. All the same, certain branches of
dentistry tend to attract certain personalities. Some "specialties" to look out for which may increase your chances
of finding someone who's good with terrified clients include "special needs", "pediatric dentistry", and
"family dentists". Again, please note the "tend to" - you'll increase your chances of finding the right
dentist, but this is not to say that all dentists working in these fields will be good with dental phobia sufferers. If you
have extensive needs (e. g. you know you'll need dentures), you may want to seek out dentists who specialise in the area you
need treatment for. Then again, once you find a general dentist you like, they will be able to refer you for more specialist
treatment anyway.
Another great resource is, of course, the internet. More and more dentists and dental practices have websites. You can
try the online Yellow Pages for your country, or check out the find-a-dentist sites in the bottom right box.
A word of caution:
When looking for a dentist on the internet, be aware that there are a lot of generic "template" sites out there,
with photos which don't actually depict the dentist in question and a standard text (and even standard testimonials!) which
describes the dentist as "the" guy/gal to see if you're fearful. I've also come across some dental offices which
advertise themselves as catering to anxious patients and who have received bad feedback. So please be careful. If you're in
any doubt, don't hesitate to post on Dental Fear Central's Message Boards or e-mail connect@dentalfearcentral.com to ask for
our opinions. The other thing you can't tell from a website (apart from qualifications) is how good the dentist in question
is at dentistry. That's why word-of-mouth is so important.
You can post your requests for a dentist in your area on our find or recommend a dentist board (in the "Dentist Requests" section).
Making Contact
"Checking out" your potential dentist is particularly important if you don't have a personal recommendation for him or her.
Once you've got hold of some dentists who might be worth considering, you've got a number of options:
E-mail or write to the dentists in question and outline your situation. Explain what your fears are, and ask if and how they
might be able to help you. If you're snail-mailing, enclose a stamped envelope, it's only good manners. If you don't know
what to write, there's a sample letter here (obviously, your own letter might read very differently): Whatfear Sample Letter, or you can check out a basic sample letter and a questionnaire to go with it as MS Word downloads here:
Sample Letter (very brief!)
Fear Questionnaire
If you decide on the e-mail approach, e-mail as many dentists as possible! If they reply, you get a really good idea of their
personality just from the way they write (trust me on this one, I've e-mailed lots of dentists in the course of building this
site - some of them I liked instantly, whereas others... OK, they might be good with some phobics, but wouldn't be my cup
of tea). Find someone who matches what you're looking for in a dentist. For example, many phobics find it important that their
dentist isn't an authoritarian type, but someone who's prepared to act at their level. If that's the case (and cultural conventions
allowing), make your e-mail really informal, address them by their first name (rather than using "Dr. So-and-So"),
and see what they write back.
One potential drawback of e-mails is that they may not be passed on, and modern technology isn't always foolproof (apart
from the fact that not all dentists have e-mail addresses). And not all dentists have the time to engage in written correspondence.
Or the idea of writing might simply not appeal to you. In which case, try the following:
Ring the practice and tell the receptionist that you're extremely terrified of dentists, and ask if the dentist/s at the
practice are good with people like yourself. Ask them to describe the dentist to you - personality or anything else you'd
like to know. Also ask them if they've tried out the dentist themselves and what they think. If they tell you to get lost
(in not so many words), the practice probably isn't for you. More often than not, the attitude of staff members reflects the
ethos of a place (and the dentist/s who work there). If you get told off, don't let that discourage you. Try another place.
It may be a good idea to ask if you could speak to the dentist on the phone when s/he has the time. Alternatively, do
what I did, walk into the situation semi-blindly, and get lucky! I'd only recommend that approach if a) you can financially
afford to 'shop around' if your first choice turns out to be the wrong one, and b) if you know that you're the kind of person
who can get up and walk (or run) out if you happen to meet the wrong dentist.
IMPORTANT: Regardless of how you make contact, don't ask IF the dentist deals with people who are scared, but HOW! Nearly
all dentists will say that they deal with phobics - what you don't know is how many of the phobics they deal with remain phobic.
You may simply want someone who is very gentle, takes things slowly, and doesn't push you into things you're not ready for.
Or you may have a particular approach in mind that's not on offer everywhere (such as hypnosis or sedation). Find out if the
dentist offers the type of approach you're looking for.
Making the appointment
Regardless of how you decide to make the first contact, make sure to make the first appointment just for a chat, so that you
can find out if you like and trust the dentist... That way, the worst-case scenario is that you find you don't like or trust
that dentist, and you simply don't go back there. In which case you'll be no worse off than before (apart from the bill -
yeah, I know, but it's unlikely that the bill will be huge. And your chances of meeting the right one straight away are pretty
good if you've done your homework and followed the steps above...).
For a lot of people, picking up the phone and actually making an appointment is the hardest part by far. Write down what you
want to say (be sure to make it clear that you're absolutely terrified) and have a list of questions made out. Also be sure
to ask for an appointment at a quiet time, or ask for the last appointment of the day.
Ask if you can book an appointment where no treatment is planned, so you can meet the dentist and discuss your anxieties.
Some people find it helps to take a reassuring friend or family member along.
It will probably take you quite a while to get up the courage to actually make that call. Some people find it helpful
to "practice" by calling the surgery/office out-of-hours, when you're sure that nobody (except for the answering
machine) will pick up the phone.
Best of luck!
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