You cant change staff without telling me

As those of you reading my posts know I had an appointment with Dr. Katy this afternoon. My friend took me there because the bus stops are still buried in snow here and waiting in the street is just dangerous.
As I have said, I am so proud of the progress I have made in the past year and I walked ino the office with nothing more than a really minor nervous feeling wondering what the x-ray would show.

I checked in at the desk and sat down and waited. I heard my name called and looked towards the doorway expecting to see DR. Katy's assistant, a really sweet girl naned Kayme that I have come to know this past year. While we waited for DR. Katy, we would exchange briefs chats about current events. She told me about her goal of going to dental school and I rold her about my quest for a better job. Its become a comfortable and familiar routine. Kayme knew and understood how I like things like how far back to lean the chair so it didnt scare me, etc.

The lady calling my name wasnt Kayme. She was someone I had never seen before. And I immediately felt a wave of anxiety sweep over me. Who are you? AS far as I've come, I still dont do well with sudden changes. I said somewhar irritably "Who are you? and where is Kayme?" She told me her name and she said she was DR. Katy's assistant as Kayme had left to go school full time. I had spoken to Dr. Katy yesterday and she didnt tell me about having new staff. I was not pleased. AS we were walking back to the room, I was feeling really nervous now and I said to her "Do you know about me?" She shook her head "Know what?" Right about then another woman who I had also not seen before walked into the room. She was another new asistant. My hands started to sweat and I told her "For the past year, Dr. Katy and I have been working on my dental phobia and I have made a lot of progress but new people made really nervous especialy since I didnt know Dr. Katy had changed staff" She said "so you get a little nervous thats okay" No, lady, you're not listening to me. "A littke nervous? YOu should have seen me a year ago. I couldnt even walk in the door" She nodded and asked me if she could do a couple x-rays and I responded "Where is Dr.Katy? " She said she would be there in a minute so I let her take the x-rays and then I waited, I had briught a gift for Dr. Katy, a plaque I had made on which I had composed a poem about how she has changed my life.

A minute or two later, Dr. Katy came in and greeted mr with a warm hug. I
asked "Who are these people? You know new people make me nervous because they dont know how we do things. I asked her if she knew about me and she said no" DR. Katy smiled and said "I talked to you yesterday didnt I tell you?" I said "No, you didnt" She looked a bit sheepish saying "I'm sorry dear. So let me tell you about them so you will know" So she told me about her new staff saying that both her previous assistants had gone back to school. And then she smiled braodly at me and said to her new assistant "Do you remember the commerical we did about my patient who is my greatest success story as she is the most terrified patient I have ever had?" The assistant nodded "Oh, yeah I remember that" I raised my hand and Dr. Katie patted my shoulder saying "Well, this is her" I saw the look of recognition and understanding cross her face. "Oh, my that was you huh. Okay, well its nice to meet you" It turns out this lady has actually worked with Dr. Katy for awhile but ony part time which is why I have never met her.

I gave Dr. Katy the gift I had made for her and she was deeply touched. She said she couldnt wait to show it to the other docs in the office. With a giggle she said "They'll be jealous!" And then she said seriously "This is truly priceless and I will treasure it" I said "on those days when things dont go well and you wonder why you do this, let this remind you" Giving me another hug, she placed it on the shelf next to the pictures of her children. What a place of honor, I thought. With that done, she said " Now, lets talk about this pain you are havng"

The x-rays, she said showed no absess so she poked around a little and said the back molar that broke is not in great shape and she is not sure if there is infection or not. So what we decided to do is try antibiotics and pain meds for a week and see if that takes away the pain. If the pain does not go away in a week with antibiotics, I will need a root canal. Dr. Katy said this is a routine procedure but she feels that even thoughI have made tremendous progress, my dental trauma has not yet healed quite enough to do a procedure like this without sedation so if this should be neccessary, I will have another visit with Prince Valium. If the pain goes away, then we will just do a crown prep and I wont need seadtives for that, I am so blessed she cares about my feelings so much.

Drummerswife...

I just wanted to say that I think you handled yourself very well today. The change in staff would scare me as well. Everytime I go in for my 2-3 month cleanings lately I am always asking the girl who does my cleanings if she will be taking care of me next time. If she were to say no or that she was leaving I think I would have to committ myslef to an asylum..LOL I love her and the way she treats me while I am there. She makes me so comfortable that I forget I am getting ym teeth scraped at...or at least almost forget about it.

What a touching gift for Dr. Katy. I bet she is so proud to have received it. It's such a wonderful feeling to be recognized for helping change someone's life.

Oh...and most importantly I have my fingers crossed for your tooth pain that it will get better...

Thanks Olivacs! I appreciate that. I told my husband I may need a root canal and he laughted! He laughted!
He's usually such a lovimg husband.

Don't be too upset by your husband, think that is a reaction that some people have when they don't know how to respond to something. He probably just didn't know what to say! And I'm sorry to hear that you had different assistants and weren't prepared for that. But just remember, you were confronted with something unexpected and you dealt with it. You should definitely give yourself a pat on the back for that

I hope things go well with the antibiotics and the root canal (but fingers crossed you need it).

Gotta love the good old husbands don't ya? I agree with Jessica B sometimes people just don't know what to say.

Typical drummerswife, I told mine I wasn't feeling well today, My GI tract is in overdrive. He said "you have some dentist appointments this week, right? Case closed. "

Dont you just feel so loved when men say things like that? RP You know sometimes I wish they could feel what we feel. My husband has no fear and in fact had never heard of dental phobia until it more or less smacked him in the face when I freaked out at the first dentist who referred me to Dr. Katy. He had never seen me react like that and it scared him. He has learned a lot this past year and most of the time he tries to be understanding. I scolded him a bit when he got home tonight and he apologized saying he laughted at the irony of the situation because I had just told him not too long ago that this was a procedure I was praying I would never have to have. And now its a very real possibility. Nice save, I told him. I have to give him a bit of credit, he brought me home some Anbesol to rub on my teeth.

As for your GI distress RP, I have the same problem all the time as I have GI disorder. At times of stress, milk and milk based products are your friends. Avoid coffee, caffeine, peanut butter, any tomatoe based products, and citrus fruits like apples and oranges. These foods cause the stomach to over produce acid which can make you miserable. Also avoud fried foods and anything real spicy. I have a special GI diet that I follow and I have to sleep propped up at night because my stomach flap doesnt close properly and so if I lay flat, food and fluids escape and I wake up choking and gagging. Its terrifying so I sleep on a specially designed pillow that looks like a big wedge.
It was designed by a GI doctor for people like me.

My partner doesn't understand my dental fear either - he tries but he just doesn't get it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he laughed if I said I was having a root canal. I do have him to thank for encouraging me to go back to the dentist in the first place though, so I'm pretty happy to have him.

It's nice that he bought you the gel? (sorry, not sure what that is that you referred to) to rub on your teeth. I find my partner generally prefers to do practical things to help and to show that he cares rather than getting into the deep and meaningful, understanding conversations, and I generally prefer that anyway. It's just their way of showing they love you!

Over here in the UK the dental assts don't really seem to have much interaction with the patients. I have now been about 9 times to my current dentist and the only time the asst talks to me is when she comes to call me into the surgery, apart from that she never says a word.

Mercedes said:

Over here in the UK the dental assts don't really seem to have much interaction with the patients. I have now been about 9 times to my current dentist and the only time the asst talks to me is when she comes to call me into the surgery, apart from that she never says a word.

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It's the same here in Australia, Mercedes. Half of the dental assistants at the surgery I go to are hopeless too, they are like stunned mullets who hardly respond to the dentist's instructions. Maybe it's generational, who knows... but I don't see them lasting long unless they ship up in terms of professionalism. Sorry, a bit OT but I'd probably be glad to see them change for the better!

It's very awkward when the assistant does not speak... particular on entering and exiting the surgery. Come to think of it... it's my dentist himself that calls me in to the room.

I love the 'stunned mullets' term, it describes them perfectly.

I wonder if things are different in the USA because in general they seem to be more chatty and welcoming over there.

Mercedes said:

I love the 'stunned mullets' term, it describes them perfectly.

I wonder if things are different in the USA because in general they seem to be more chatty and welcoming over there.

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The annoying thing is... if you are paying for a service, you expect to receive a good level of professionalism. I guess I am lucky, my dentist is good and he's a nice fellow. Otherwise, I'd be mightily peeved! I suppose there are drawbacks and advantages everywhere, i.e. no system is perfect.

I think it depends on the dentists here in the US. At my last dentist he let the staff do all the talking, answer emails concerns, make post procedure calls. He sauntered in after the nitrous was on and I was three sheets to the wind and sauntered out before the nitrous was turned down- And I thought I was the coward at the dentist.

I really disliked his assistant from day one, found her condescending and she kept defending how much she knew about the work the dentist did to which I replied "I'm sure you do but I need a relationship with the dentist too." Was not good and a another reason why I left. So that chatty one worked against him.

At the endodontist I just went to for an evaulation, he did all the talking and the assistant never said a word. Tomorrow I am meeting with her to have vital signs done, pick up the sedative and get pre-procedure instructions and I guess I'll find out if she can speak.

rp

Reading through the most recent posts just reminded me of when I went to get a second opinion for my dental treatment plan. The dentist was very nice and friendly and I told him that I was very anxious. The dental nurse looked at me and said "think of fluffy kittens and pretty puppies and you will be fine". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

Mercedes said:

Reading through the most recent posts just reminded me of when I went to get a second opinion for my dental treatment plan. The dentist was very nice and friendly and I told him that I was very anxious. The dental nurse looked at me and said "think of fluffy kittens and pretty puppies and you will be fine". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry

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I think she would have seen my claws and heard me growl. What makes her think treating you like a 2 year old was helpful? A huge problem I think is while a dentist may have some training albeit not much in dealing with phobic patients, their office staff is clueless and can undo a trusting relationship with a thoughtless word in a heart beat.

RP- I understand IBS my friend has that. I am supposed to do Metamucil too because the meds I take make me constipated but just like you I cant stand the stuff! lol!
I just recently found some wonderful stuff called Benefiber. Its a powder that dissolves in water and its orange flavor. Its not bad. Tastes like orange kool-aid. It works very well for me. Its a bit pricey but worth it.

JessicaB said:

My partner doesn't understand my dental fear either - he tries but he just doesn't get it. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he laughed if I said I was having a root canal. I do have him to thank for encouraging me to go back to the dentist in the first place though, so I'm pretty happy to have him.

It's nice that he bought you the gel? (sorry, not sure what that is that you referred to) to rub on your teeth. I find my partner generally prefers to do practical things to help and to show that he cares rather than getting into the deep and meaningful, understanding conversations, and I generally prefer that anyway. It's just their way of showing they love you!

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Hi Jessica,
Anbesol is a gel that when you rub it n your teeth it temporarily numbs the area where its applied. Its similar to what the dentists use efore they do injections but this stuff you can by at the drug store. Its actally quite wonderful.

urban.i.stika said:

It's very awkward when the assistant does not speak... particular on entering and exiting the surgery. Come to think of it... it's my dentist himself that calls me in to the room.

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No it's way way better imho ..in the USA there is a trend to production line dentistry - you hardly see the dentist at all and have to interact with multiple staff. In UK, Europe and Australasia, the dentist mainly handles you, collects you from the waiting room - mine even puts my bib thing on for me, takes the x-rays - it's personal 'one to one' service and I never ever want the de-personalised USA system.

However yes the Assistants could at least say hello - most usually do and receptionists certainly do.

My experience in Australia is slightly different - the assistant will come and get me from the waiting room, or if it's it's a hygienist appoitment the hygienist will collect me and start doing her thing, then the dentist comes in and does the check-up part way through. Even though the assistant does come and get you, they're not normally all that talkative. I wouldn't say they are hopeless - they are quite pleasant and friendly but nothing more than a hello and maybe a bit of small talk. I have also noticed they tend to be young and pretty where I go and of course they have perfect straight white teeth (as does the dentist) which is a little intimidating. Then again if they had bad teeth that wouldn't be good either I guess!

The dentist does try very hard to build up a good dentist patient relationship though and always takes an interest in what I'm up to and how I'm going, and even said sorry once for not seeing me and saying hello when I was in there for a follow-up cleaning but no check-up from the dentist. I thought that was really nice. Plus the dentists are all referred to by their first names which I think is fantastic. Not sure if that happens in other countries? As far as I know it's still quite are in Australia, but I really like it. My hygienist is from Japan and she's obviously not used to it because she started to call the dentist 'doctor...' one day and then corrected herself and used his first name.