Facing the fear

Hi all

I've been reading some of the stories on the site for the past few days and can really relate to some of the posts. I can see that lots of people have been helped on here and I'm hoping that I can be too. I have battled all my life with quite an extreme fear of the dentists, I think stemming from bad experiences with my childhood dentist. I am now 31 and at a stage in my life where I feel 'enough is enough' and I am trying to make the positive changes to improve my life, and this includes getting my teeth sorted out.

I last saw a dentist around 6/7 years ago, after finding the courage from a similar 6/7 year gap. I had a line of treatment arranged and got as far as a couple of fillings and a root canal. The root canal had a temporary cap over the top and I was asked to return after a period of time for a permanent crown to be fitted. A short time after this life changed a lot, I moved house so the dentists would have lost my contact details, I travelled overseas for some time, and it was all too easy to forget about.

In addition to this tooth I know I have several other teeth that require attention and the thought of having to go through more dental work really fills me with dread. However I know that my neglect for my teeth has caused the situation to get worse and the 'head in the sand' approach, whilst comforting in the short term, cannot last forever. In most parts of my life I am quite a strong person, and my fear of dentistry feels like the final hurdle to be tackled.

I am wondering if anyone can recommend any sympathetic NHS dentists in south london, preferably near camberwell (although I am prepared to travel).

And of course I wish everyone all the best with their own ongoing challenges!

T

Hi Tricky

Welcome to the forum You are doing a great thing by choosing to deal with this. You are right, avoiding the problem makes it worse. The fear increases but the teeth do not get better.

In the past 7 years dentistry has improved a great deal. I understand the fear, but I also know it can be overcome. It starts with believing you can overcome this, which you can.

You are going to improve you life by amazing amounts. You have taken a huge step towards banishing the anxiety and dread. Dental anxiety is a real condition. It causes huge suffering and loss of quality of life.

Since you are the one that causes it, you are the one that can stop it. You have the power. The same things that keep you from the dentist can be used to empower you to have successful dental treatment.

It takes courage to face fear. be proud of yourself. You will do great.

Blessings

Good luck with finding a dentist in your area, I hope someone can point you in the right direction.
Well done for making the decision to improove your oral health we are all hear to support you where we can.

I second what Kalou said. And I will be sebding you positive thoughts that you will find the right dentist for you. Know thar we are all here for you

Thanks for your well wishes guys. Unfortunately I have made no progress on this yet, beyond some web searching for dentists specialising in phobic patients. It seems as though, in the UK, you have to go for private treatment if you want a trained dentist who specialises in dental phobia. The NHS dentistry website does not have much information on this area so it looks like pot luck in finding an understanding dentist.

If I can find the courage, I will arrange an appointment with a nearby NHS dentist. Right now the thought of calling them just fills me with dread and it is so easy to put it off for another day :~

welcome tricky!! i could have written almost all of your first post right down to the last treatment being a root canal that should have had a crown i'm 30 and one day this fall decided i was done living with this awful fear and to do something about it so i could enjoy my family and life more.

making that first call (or email as i did) is terrifying, but once that is done and you find a dentist you like and trust, it gets better and better. my advice it to not settle if you find someone you're not 100% comfortable with!

you have my full support and supportive thoughts on making that first step to a new mouth you've already made a huge step in recognizing and addressing what needs to be done, you should be proud!

ally

*eta: a lot of people on here say this, but it bears repeating....you are in control when you go meet your new dentist and only have to do as much as you are comfortable with!! be open with your dentist about your fears and if they are the right dentist for you, it will ease a lot of the anxiety

I am registered under the NHS dental hospitals and so far they have been wonderful, everything is explained and nice and slow so that I actually feel in control instead of being rushed like at the other dentists I have been to. I was referred by my NHS dentist due to being so phobic. Is this an option?

Thanks for the replies guys. I have now managed to email a couple of nearby dentists to ask whether they specialise in treating phobic patients. I guess I'll judge by the tone of the replies whether to go see them or not... :~

Hi guys

Back posting on the board after some more absence and burying my head in the sand

A couple of hours ago whilst eating lunch an old filling came out of one of my back teeth and now i can feel the hole where it once was.

This time I am determined to see through with some action to get this sorted and try and get on top of my fear. I just need some luck in finding a dentist who is understanding, nearby, and not incredibly expensive

I did email some dentists months ago but never received any replies

Well I got as far as calling a surgery to enquire... unfortunately they are not taking new NHS patients unless 'you have a referral from your dentist'.

I have found somewhere that looks excellent but I fear they are only offering private work. I might call them to ask about prices. But with the work I need doing I am somewhat nervous about the total costs. I wish I could get it all done on the NHS with a dental-phobic 'aware' dentist..

Good luck Tricky.
I guess you could call NHS Direct, and get a list of ALL NHS dentists within the area you are willing to travel to, then call them all, and see what the receptionists say if you say you are nervous.

Thanks for all the advice everyone

After a lot of research online I have now found a practice which is fairly local, and just round the corner from a friends house (where I can hopefully retreat after any work being done). Best of all is they are accepting NHS patients, and claim to offer services for anxious patients.

Now I just need to call them and enquire about booking an appointment

Also, does anyone here in the UK have any advice or experience with Denplan? I am considering them as a feasible way of paying for any private work..

Hello everyone!

Well I'm back, some time after originally joining...

After some more delaying and head-in-the-sand I'm pleased to say today I have finally managed to visit a dentist and registered as a new patient!

I got in the chair, opened my mouth, and she performed an examination... and the verdict is much better than I'd feared... one wisdom tooth extraction, one root canal, a couple of crowns, and a few small fillings. This means that inspite of everything I will still have a full mouth of teeth... and hopefully a smile to be proud of, instead of avoiding opening my mouth!

As many have said here before, the worst part of having a dental phobia is really the unknown quantity... the feeling of pure dread at having to display your teeth and hear the verdict... well I'm pleased to agree with everyone that has managed to get to this stage, that it is SO worth it. I almost didn't go into the surgery, but I am now SO glad I did. I just kept telling myself that having some treatment (however nasty the experience) is WAY WAY WAY better than living a life of dental phobia, embarassment over your teeth, hiding your smile, experiencing some pain, etc.

Of course, I now need to actually have the treatment undertaken, but I feel SO much better for having made the first step, and I am *determined* to maintain the momentum and see this through to the end. And then *determined* to make the regular check ups and never let my teeth get into a state again.

I would like to wish everyone reading this all the best in confronting their own phobias and setting off on their journey for a happy, smiley, future.

Tricky

Congratulations keep going, it's worth it.

Hi guys!

I thought I'd come back and provide an update of my journey so far..

Since finding a great dentist in January, I've had a total of 9 visits, and had some cleaning, fillings, one RCT and two crowns fitted. I have one final appointment on Friday for the third and final crown fitting. After so many visits, I now trust my dentist very well and no longer feel any apprehension about making a visit!

I also have one special visit in a couple of weeks time to have a wisdon tooth extraction.. this is somewhat worrisome however my trusted dentist has told me lots about the person who does the extractions and that I shouldn't worry about it.. and I am trying to believe her..!

After this I am hoping to hear those magical words 'everything looks good, see you in six months for a checkup!' and that will feel so great!

And I cannot describe how great it feels to not have to worry about the sight of my teeth, to be wondering if someone I'm talking to has noticed, to worry about trying to smile without showing my teeth... all of these concerns are now gone and I feel free of the phobia..

So my message to others who feel this way is... if you can find the right dentist they will understand and want to help. The only thing to fear is the fear itself. If you can face your fears it is amazing how liberating it can be!!

I would like to thank everyone for the support shown here and wish everyone luck in their ongoing journeys.

Tricky

Hi did you manage to find a NHS dentist, and good on you for getting all the work you needed done.

Yes I did manage to find an NHS dentist, however in the end I decided to get the work done privately, as mainly because this meant the dentist would have more time to actually talk to me about what was going to happen, and I wouldn't feel si rushed through as just-another-number.

Well I went back today to have the third and final crown fitted. It must have taken less time than she thought, as after fitting it she said 'why don't we do that wisdom tooth extraction now instead of waiting until Thursday evening?' I was a little surprised but decided to go for it... It was all over so quickly, there was no pain, and now I've got some painkillers for the next couple of days.

My next appointment isn't for 4-6 months time and will just be a regular check up!!