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This saddens me :(

B

Buell

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2009
Messages
104
Location
Massachusetts
As Ive mentioned before.. my fiance works in a dental office and today she told me about a patient that was supposed to come in.

the patient had previous been in for an exam ... they found that every tooth but the bottom front 4 had cavities .. and im not talking small ones either

thats 24 cavities ...

guess how old this person was ??

17 -- yep .. just 17 years old.

what makes the situation worse - the kid was supposed to come in today to start the fillings and his parents decided to call up and cancel.

this saddens me greatly because it reminds me of the days when I was younger and my parents would never take us to the dentist .. we never stood a chance :( ... and when I was old enough to take myself .. the shame and embarassment was so great that I couldnt do it.

this brings up a good question

How do the people on here with children handle the dentist as far as the kids go .. I know that we are all here for a reason and a good bit.. if not most are terrified of the dentist... do you guys still take your kids or is the fear so great that you can't even take them ?

in my situation .. thankfully my fiance took my son ... so that got me off the hook but without her .. im not sure I would have been able to do it .. there would be no way i could even talk to the front desk person with my mouth the way it was ...

now? ... we schedule our cleanings together (hes 10) :)

I'd be curious to hear your responses
 
Hi Buell

That is so sad!

I have had a phobia of the dentist since I was very young but my husband doesn't so it has always been his job to take our 2 children.

My husband did speak to the dentist many years ago about my situation and he suggested that I didn't take them as seeing me frightened wouldn't do them any good at all. Luckily my daughters (aged 21 & 13) have no fear of the dentist what so ever and also didn't even know I had a phobia until I went into hospital for my extractions just over a year ago.

Over the years I only once had to take my eldest daughter when she was about 11 years old, I did manage to take her into the reception but got out of actually going in to see the dentist by telling her I had an upset stomach and needed the bathroom (which was pretty much the truth by then) - how cruel does that make me sound!

I was determined that my children wouldn't have their lives ruined with a fear of the dentist, thankfully I have succeeded.

I have also fed them the vegetables I don't like - they both eat sprouts too!!!

:)
 
I know all about the queezy stomach feeling .. even up until nov of last year when i started my dental journey .. when it was time for me to drop justin off at the dentist (he would get cleanings at the end of the day and she would bring him home) .. I would pull the car up to the door and let him hop out and run in all the while I sat in the car

you couldnt get me anywhere NEAR that door .. let alone inside


I just cant help but think about how crappy that kids life (the 17 year old) is going to be .. when he has such HUGE dental issues at such a young age and his parents just flat out cancelled the appt. :(
 
Yes, that is very sad.

My friend recently had to take her little boy to have 10 teeth out - at the age of 5!!

I am terrified of the dentist due to very good reasons. At the age of 11 I had 3 double teeth out with just LA and I also had a freaky tooth in the roof of my mouth with a curved root and the dentist insisted on just pulling it out even though I was telling him the LA wasn't working. He said it wasn't going to work because it was bleeding too much. When he finally tugged it out, taking with it some of the roof of my mouth, he then shoved my brace straight back in over the hole!! All at the age of 11. He was sacked a few months later for practicing whilst almost totally blind!

Then at the age of 27 I was given an injection too deep which paralysed my face for a day and at the same time another tooth he was trying to numb just wouldn't take due to 'accessory nerves' and then I was told I needed impacted wisdom teeth out, well it was just too much in one day and I haven't been since. HAVE AN APPOINTMENT IN ONE HOUR - ARRGGGH!!

Anyway, back on track now......

I have 3 children, one is a baby, the other two are 10 and 6. I have NEVER let them know my fear. I take them to the dentist because they want mummy to. I don't take them to my dentist, I couldn't. Initially I was told when my 10 year old was 6, that he needed 5 teeth out! I asked for a second opinion, was told he only needed one out as it was preventing his back tooth from coming properly and he also needed one tiny filling! I took him along and he had this back tooth out with just LA. I held his hand throughout and he was so brave, he was fine! He never even murmured at the filling. He is a brave lad though. My 6 year old is not so brave. When he goes, although he has totally perfect teeth, he will only go on the chair on my lap. So I have to go in the chair too and I often feel faint but I just smile and do it! I do get scared about just ringing for an appointment for them but I never let on, I just go and smile and have a lie down afterwards!

Well, I have to go, I have a dentist appointment. OMG I am terrified at what he's going to say.
 
Its good to hear that you guys .. despite your fears are making sure that the kids are being taken care of

I wish my parents had thought the same way

I hold alot of resentment towards my parents for the way they handled our teeth .. it honestly angers me that I had to grow up the way I did :(

but it also comes as no suprise when i look back now .. both of my parents are denture wearers and have been for a VERY long time- they never really cared about their teeth and even just recently when I was getting all the work done and they learned how much it was all costing me .. the first thing my mom said .. thats a waste of money .. just get dentures..

now dont get me wrong I have nothing against denture wearers .. I just wanted to do whatever I could to save my natural teeth as Im sure most everyone here would

and as for the status of the rest of the kids ?

my little brother (26) - has full upper and lower dentures
my little sister (29) also has full upper and lower dentures

my older brother (33) .. im pretty sure his mouth is in a bad state .. he dosent go to the dentist either

I wont let my son suffer the way we did :(
 
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My mum is also scared of the dentist, but I never knew until I confided my fear a few years ago. However, she always drags herself there every 6 months. She has always made me go, she has nagged me since I've been an adult and she has actually made this appointment for me today and is coming with me!

She has found a fantastic dentist and thinks I will lose my fear if I go and see him. My husband hadn't been to the dentist in almost 20 years. He developed terrible toothache that forced him to go and he went along to my mum's dentist and all he needed was a root canal on the painful tooth and a tiny filling! He coped with it fine and now doesn't mind going at all! So all stories of not going in years don't have to be bad :)

I just hope I have a good story to tell after today but I am not feeling hopeful!
 
Good Luck To You!! :)
 
That poor kid. I hope they rescheduled the appointment for him.

My parents never did take me or my siblings to the dentist even once. I think they might have been phobic, but both had dentures at an early age, so I have no recollection of them going, either. I was 26 before my first dental visit and wouldn't have gone then if it weren't for a broken molar.:rolleyes:

I wanted to make sure my three kids didn't develop a phobia like I did. (Mine was due to my dad's habit of holding me down and pulling my teeth with pliers as a kid, usually before they were ready and sometimes not even the right tooth.) I started taking my kids to the dentist when they were toddlers so they'd get used to him poking around in their mouths and making it a fun experience. I've had the same dentist since I was 26, and my kids have all gone to him, too. They don't mind going a bit.

We've never missed an appointment, and (knocking on wood) none of my kids (23, 16 and 15) have ever had a cavity. No braces needed, either. My oldest had a baby tooth that was ready to come out at one check up, so the dentist plucked it out for her. She didn't even know he'd done it. She also developed a cyst in the bone of her palate as a teenager, and our dentist removed it for her with a local. She was relaxed and happy during the entire procedure, I was climbing the walls. LOL

The phobia cycle in my family is broken. :jump:

My heart goes out to the 17 year old. :cry:
 
I was always careful not to betray my phobia in any way in front of the kids.

My husband usually took them, but one time 2 of them needed an extraction - neither child was remotely phobic or even worried. So I decided to go with them this time, to prove to myself it would all be OK. Then maybe I could pluck up courage to go. How wrong was that!

Needless to say it was a dentist they'd never been to as we'd just moved to a new county (GP recommended him too) and he made a hash of it. One child felt the needle, the other felt the extraction. Looking back I now know the dentist was all wrong - it was all too hurried. One son came out white as a sheet and nearly fainting, the other one became phobic.

It was the village I grew up in and I'd known that GP since 1970. I trust him utterly and know he'd never knowingly send anyone to a bad practitioner. What I think happened was - the GP would obvious make recommendations so this dentist must have been careful to give him the whole 9 yards and GP assumed he was that good with everyone.

I managed to find a good NHS dentist and switched to him, and the phobic one seemed to overcome everything in time - even had an extraction with the new dentist (mouth was too crowded, and he needed it ebfore he had braces). And he was fine. He went on to have orthodontics - again, fine.

Then suddenly in December or so, he needed a small filling. He literally ran out of the room. Despite it being a dentist he'd gone to for a few years and had done a painless extraction on him. I had to book him in with my private phobic friendly dentist. Even being examined, he shook from head to foot - was terrified. It took several goes to get the Ray done - even I hadn;t been that bad. I thought he'd never go through with the filling which was last month - but he did. And now he is fine again. He says it was fear of the unknown as he'd never had a filling.

The rushed NHS dentist was good but didn't have the time/patience to talk my phobic son down.

The private one did. Plus she is much more experienced.

I had worked soooo hard to hide my phobia from the kids and they now tell me they never suspected it. (Although I wonder why they never wondered why I didn't go to the dentist?)

Once I had my treatment, I told them all about my phobia. Irony was, it wasn;t me made my son phobic - but a bad dentist - after all my strenuous efforts, for years, to make sure he went regularly and was never afraid. One bad dentist undid all my work in 5 minutes.

My son now will go to his NHS dentist for check ups but switch back to my private one if he needs treatment. He feels totally confident now - so long as that is the arrangement.

It is possible to hide your phobia from your kids and not even give it away in your body language but... that can all be undone in seconds by a bad experience.
 
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