new dentist.

I'm off to a new dentist today, apparently he is very kind and gentle, but I'm still nervous.

The last dentist was awful and had me in tears, and the dental hygienist cut my gums with the xrays!

I know for a fact that I will need fillings in four of my front teeth. I am soo nervous, I don't want to be judged. I'm not afraid of the pain, just the judgement. I already judge myself enough, I know I didn't take care of my teeth, and I feel horrible. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears.

I just keep telling myself that once they are fixed, I will be so less stressed out and will be able to smile.

But I don't even want to open my mouth

i have been to a bunch of dentists, and have felt this at every appointment. when you get a good dentist, he will just show compassion for you, and want to help you.
i even warn them before i open my mouth, i say something about how i have alot going on in there or they usually ask me if i have a trouble spot, and i say 'all over'..you will certainly not be the first mouth they have seen that needed some work. trust me.
my dentist just wants me to have a smile that i am proud of, and i am sure yours will feel the same.

The fear of judgement is something I suffer from too. For me this stems from my childhood experiences and also from my protests that I was doing what I was asked not being believed either.

This is probably a bit too late for you now but...

On my first visit to my current dentist, I admitted that I was very ashamed of my teeth but I was doing the best I could to make it better and I wanted her help. This put her on my side as it were, she was then not thinking of how they got like that, but how she could make it better with me. It was a very subtle trick but I think it worked.

I also found it easier to show the dentist my teeth in a mirror the first time, rather than have her look down on me in the chair. Again, this puts her equal to me so she didn't apear superior by being above me. Once she has seen my teeth she can't unsee them, that first look is the moment where you fear the judgement, I controlled that moment and there was no judgement.

I hope everything went well and that you will soon be smiling again.

Well, I did it.

He was VERY nice. Very understanding. He even told my mom that I was such a smart & pretty girl. He was very gentle and made me feel comfortable.

I have to have two root canals done, a few fillings and 1 extraction which I was expecting .. I guess it could be worse, but I feel awful for letting it get so bad.

that is just awesome.
forgive yourself for the past mistakes. just learn from them and move on.
be gratefull you got a handle on it so young, you saved yourself a lot of pain.