C
Chancery
Member
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2010
- Messages
- 34
Hi, I am a dental phobic undergoing root canal treatment presently and having some problems with an uncertain diagnosis, pain that won't go away, a new dentist that doesn't quite get dental anxiety, and, worst of all, with no finances to do an intervention at a private practice. However, I wanted to ask if anyone on here has ever had problems with their personal (not dental) history complicating the issue.
I have had an unfortunate combination of very bad dentistry as a child (my story is on one of the other threads but I don't know how to put in a link! I'll check and see if I can add it in. ETA - here's the link - https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/bad-experience.1138/page-3#post-6231) and sexual abuse. I have more than enough problems with my dental history, but I find that every time I have to go for dentistry, which is only every few years when something goes wrong, I invariably get flashbacks to the abuse and become super vulnerable and distressed, which tends to lead to depression and suicidal thoughts, and I am sure is making progress with the phobia harder.
I have tried a couple of times to get help for this problem via rape helplines and the like but they are either inappropriate (i.e. are aimed at young children and families suffering present-day abuse) or are charities that frankly have nothing to offer but leaflets telling me what abuse is and why I should get help for it (where?!.).
I have done a lot of work on my own, but find there are barriers I don't seem to be able to cross and that I can only take so much of it before I have to stop. I have the added complication that I can't remember anything much under the age of ten (although I have pieced quite a bit together over the years) so it makes the whole remembering thing incredibly difficult.
I wondered if anyone else finds that a history of abuse is making things harder, in that rationalising about how the dentist isn't going to hurt you has very little to do with having to lie down etc; it's just a general loss of control that has little to do with actual dentistry. That's my worst problem, I think, loss of control. I also have never told a dentist, truthfully because people mostly don't react well to being told. I don't mean specifics, I don't tell all and sundry my history, I mean just saying the words, "I was abused". They are genrally uncomfortable and don't know what to say, which is hardly surprising. It feels irrelevant to bring it up, but it definitely isn't when it intrudes so obviously every time I get treatment.
Has anyone on the board ever managed to bring this up with a dentist with any success? I find I also can't handle too much kindness (or any sometimes) and it makes me cry, which is mortifying. I don't want to play the victim, because I think it is unhelpful for recovery. I don't want dentists to feel they have to treat me as 'special' and fragile, but I don't seem to be getting round it either.
Has anyone ever got help from the NHS for this problem? If so was it actually helpful? Has anyone ever found a particular type of (psychological) treatment to be better than another? I would try a psychiatrist, but I am hamstrung by being unemployed - another thing that makes me feel like a whiner: Give me help but I can't pay for it. It sounds so needy.
Anyway, if anyone has had this problem and can face talking about it I would love to hear from you. I feel very isolated and have to suffer the flashbacks and corresponding thoughts and memories by myself, never knowing just how much they are impacting on my distress and fear at the dentist - or if this is just another absurd facet of my neurosis. I would be grateful for anyone who is up to sharing...
I have had an unfortunate combination of very bad dentistry as a child (my story is on one of the other threads but I don't know how to put in a link! I'll check and see if I can add it in. ETA - here's the link - https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/forum/threads/bad-experience.1138/page-3#post-6231) and sexual abuse. I have more than enough problems with my dental history, but I find that every time I have to go for dentistry, which is only every few years when something goes wrong, I invariably get flashbacks to the abuse and become super vulnerable and distressed, which tends to lead to depression and suicidal thoughts, and I am sure is making progress with the phobia harder.
I have tried a couple of times to get help for this problem via rape helplines and the like but they are either inappropriate (i.e. are aimed at young children and families suffering present-day abuse) or are charities that frankly have nothing to offer but leaflets telling me what abuse is and why I should get help for it (where?!.).
I have done a lot of work on my own, but find there are barriers I don't seem to be able to cross and that I can only take so much of it before I have to stop. I have the added complication that I can't remember anything much under the age of ten (although I have pieced quite a bit together over the years) so it makes the whole remembering thing incredibly difficult.
I wondered if anyone else finds that a history of abuse is making things harder, in that rationalising about how the dentist isn't going to hurt you has very little to do with having to lie down etc; it's just a general loss of control that has little to do with actual dentistry. That's my worst problem, I think, loss of control. I also have never told a dentist, truthfully because people mostly don't react well to being told. I don't mean specifics, I don't tell all and sundry my history, I mean just saying the words, "I was abused". They are genrally uncomfortable and don't know what to say, which is hardly surprising. It feels irrelevant to bring it up, but it definitely isn't when it intrudes so obviously every time I get treatment.
Has anyone on the board ever managed to bring this up with a dentist with any success? I find I also can't handle too much kindness (or any sometimes) and it makes me cry, which is mortifying. I don't want to play the victim, because I think it is unhelpful for recovery. I don't want dentists to feel they have to treat me as 'special' and fragile, but I don't seem to be getting round it either.
Has anyone ever got help from the NHS for this problem? If so was it actually helpful? Has anyone ever found a particular type of (psychological) treatment to be better than another? I would try a psychiatrist, but I am hamstrung by being unemployed - another thing that makes me feel like a whiner: Give me help but I can't pay for it. It sounds so needy.
Anyway, if anyone has had this problem and can face talking about it I would love to hear from you. I feel very isolated and have to suffer the flashbacks and corresponding thoughts and memories by myself, never knowing just how much they are impacting on my distress and fear at the dentist - or if this is just another absurd facet of my neurosis. I would be grateful for anyone who is up to sharing...
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