Feeling Bullied - Please Help Me

Folks, I really need some advice about something that's upsetting me and causing my anxiety to rear its ugly head again.
I've seen Dr B twice now and have been quite happy with her as a dentist. Her manner is friendly, reassuring and gentle, and although her prices (to me) seem a little on the high side, I figured it was a small price to pay to feel comfortable.
However, twice so far this week, her receptionists have called me asking me to make an appointment for a deep cleaning (prophylaxis) and each time, I have explained that that is a procedure I only want to have done once all the other "urgent" things have been dealt with (such as broken fillings being replaced and cavaties filled, etc).
But they won't give up.
I called them back today after they left a message on my voicemail, and after explaining once again that I want "only urgent" things dealt with first, I was told that the deep cleaning IS "urgent" and that they "need to make sure the gums are healthy before starting anything else!"

So now I am confused as hell, because the dentist (Dr J) who extracted my tooth last week, told me that I DO NOT need the deep cleaning yet, and to wait 6 months to see if flossing and regular brushing will help prevent gum disease from getting any worse.

WHO THE HELL DO I BELIEVE??????????

I cannot afford to have un-necessary treatments right now, but I truly feel as though I am being bullied by telemarketers!
Do I have the right to say "NO!" or should I just go along with whatever they say I need?
I am more than aware of the stigma attached to British dentists and the British peoples' teeth, but it's actually a complete old wives tale!!
The British have no worse teeth than any one else, but I have NEVER heard of a prophylaxis until I came to the States (and I used to be a dental nurse!!)

I feel so pathetic having no assertiveness - I really do literally feel like they're trying to sell me something and not taking no for an answer. How can they tell me that a cleaning is "more important" than treating painful cavaties?????

Please help me, someone, I feel as nervous again now as I did in my very first post on here. I really want to cry

Been through this, did you ask if they measured pocket depth? Do you remember the dentist or hygenist probing your gums around each tooth and saying numbers? This is what determines the need for deep cleaning, all opinions aside. You can't clean anything over a 4 yourself, no amount of brushing/flossing is going to do it.

You have the right to refuse anything, you are the customer. Just do your homework and make sure your refusal isn't purely out of fear alone. If there is a practice manager ask to speak to him/her about your wishes and expectation not to be called more than once after saying no thank you.
If that doesn't work speak to your dentist, she is the boss and determines office policy/protocol.

rp

I have racked my brains trying to remember what the dentist said when she did the initial visual analysis of my mouth, and I am almost certain that no numbers (other than the numbers of each tooth) were mentioned.
Yes, she poked around and dug the probe between my gums and teeth, and it only felt slightly sore in a couple of places.
But the dentist who extracted my tooth also did the same thing and his opinion was that I didn't "yet" need the deep cleaning, but to maintain my oral health and perhaps get it re-looked at during my 6 month check-up.

I'm not afraid of having them cleaned... it's solely the cost. I won't lie, DH and I are struggling financially at the moment, and I've been quoted $100 for the clean alone, that's without the fluoride treatment, (which Dr J said he feels is completely unnecessary these days with fluoride toothpastes and fluoride in our water systems).

I'm annoyed that Dr B didn't do 4-quadrant x-rays at my first appointment. So far, all I've had done is an extraction by an extraction specialist, and a cracked amalgam filling re-done with composite (which knocked me back $200 alone!) I have at LEAST 5 other teeth that will need filling/re-filling before I can even think about a bloody cleaning!

It just makes me so mad that I'm being told two different things by two different dentists. Who the hell can I trust or believe in anymore??

Hi

I can undestand what a horrible situation thus is, I have no answers dentally but prhaps if you re posted this in the dental questions section with some queries one of the dentists would be able to help you prioritise

cheers

Helgarr

Bullying people into treatment is wrong in every sense. Those teeth in your mouth are *your* teeth, not theirs. *you* have the ultimate say in what you choose to have done and when. There maybe some 'technical' or dental reason for having what they say, but that doesn't hold a lot of ground having been told you don't need this work done.

Personally, I would say you need independant impartial advice (maybe someone on here) and from there, *you* make the decision if you want to go ahead or not. If you decide it is not for you, you need to put your foot down and say "no". Perhaps even telling this place if they won't stop hasselling you, you will go somewhere else.

This seems like an attempt of turning a non-phobic patient, into a phobic one for the sake of selling some unneccessary treatment.

To be honest, I AM a phobic patient to a certain degree (I have to take Xanax or Diazepam just to turn up to my appointments!) but when I found Dr B, I thought all my prayers were answered. Is it really too much to ask for an honest dentist, who's main priority is the health of my teeth and NOT lining their pocket?
The dentist I used to see here in San Antonio lost my respect when I found out that he owns 2, $6Million dollar homes in a nearby gated community and has links to the British royal family! He was charging me way above what his price-list showed, and because of his poor root canal/crown work, I've lost a tooth that I paid him $1,500 to treat less than 2 years ago.
Even the specialist who extracted the tooth last week told me I should go back to this guy and demand a refund for cost of the extraction, because it was such poor quality crowning and incomplete R/C.
It's very difficult, if not impossible, to be assertive when you're suffering from anxiety. I even wonder if some dentists play on this, knowing that you'd pay any fee they throw at you simply because you just want to get out of their office as fast as possible.
I really am sick of feeling this uncertainty.
And if I keep looking for second/third opinions, it means having more and more x-rays every time, which surely can't be good for me!

This sounds like a situation where a third opinion would be very useful. And maybe from a gum specialist? Another person to see and more expense but it would give you peace of mind.

hey Bundle!!

I think that you should talk to the DENTIST, Dr B. Not the receptionist, not the assistant. I think you should tell Dr B what Dr J said, and tell Dr B that you would like to wait the 6 months as Dr J recommended. In the same sentence, let her know that her office has been calling regarding the deep cleaning, and the pressure you are felling because of it, and ask HER to let the office staff know that they are not to call you until either a. the 6 months are up, OR b. Dr J tells them to schedule it.

I understand it can be frustrating to be hounded, but once they put something in your treatment plan, usually on a computer, until you have that treatment that is part of the plan, the computer will keep telling them to call, unless your treatment plan is changed. Sound stupid, I know, but I think this way, they don't miss anything, and I'll bet you the treatment plan itself is only changable by the dentist herself, or on her order.

You might even be able to do this over the phone, it you call and ask to have the dentist call you at her convenience, but let them know you have a serious issue to discuss with her, to be sure the dentist does return your call.

Just a few thoughts, hope they can be helpful . . .
Yvonne

Thanks everyone for the advice, it's much appreciated.
I did actually call the dentist's office earlier and reiterated to the receptionist that I am more concerned about getting the fillings done first, and that I would look at MAYBE having the deep clean sometime in the future - I have an appointment this coming Monday and she said they'd see what else needs doing during that appointment.
It's easy to start laying down what needs doing when money isn't an issue to the person issuing the list of procedures - they obviously don't take into consideration people like me who are struggling to come up with the cash to pay the high fees as it is!
I wish Dr B offered a payment plan, (I honestly don't know why she doesn't, or other dentists for that matter) but ah well, c'est la vie, I guess.
Thanks again, all.

$100 dollars is not a deep cleaning fee, it is more likely a 'prophy' ....i.e. general routine cleaning (such as used to be called a scrape and polish in NHS but was very cursory) so there is no contradiction, you don't need a deep cleaning but a prophy first would help make your home hygiene more effective.
Yes it can all be a scam but most people of a certain age benefit from 6-9 monthly cleans to help secure long term gum health.

If you have pain from teeth, probably best get those fixed first purely on comfort grounds.

Asking dentist is best way forward - I agree with the others.

Oh, if this is just a scale and polish then that is very standard, and the first thing that I had done when I went to the dentist.

I'm sorry, that was my mistake, I missed a zero off. I was quoted almost $1000 for the "deep clean", not $100!
Who the heck can afford that these days when there's cavaties that need filling. I've had many regular scale and polishes in my lifetime, and I know that those are standard. But the expensive one, I've never even heard of and I wonder if it's just another thing added to the list of dentistry these days that will successfully line a dentist's pocket and not offer much relief or benefit to the patient.
Anyone had one of these procedures done? What was it like and how much did it improve the health of your mouth and gums?
Couldn't it LOOSEN teeth/uproot them?
What exactly is done to justify such a huge fee?

Hi, I am in the US but have had deep cleaning done. It is a bit uncomfortable but for me I avoided the dentist for 12 years. I had tons and tons of tartar build up and some gum disease. After the procedure I went back for a re-check a few months later and there were huge improvements with my gums. I have researched this type of cleaning a lot and asked both the dentist and hygenist if it would loosen teeth. The answer is..no it will not. In fact for me I had a few teeth that were slightly mobile and after the cleaning the gums tightened back up around the teeth and they are no longer mobile.


Speaking with your dentist directly and/or getting yet another opinion would be beneficial to you especially if you are looking to avoid unnecessary procedures and expense.

Hey Julie,

I too had a deep clean. It was two weeks ago on 5 of my 7 bottom remaining teeth. She did a light clean on the 2 that were due to be extracted (because the had movement, and the dentist was going to extract them before I have my bottom partial made)

When I went to the dentist yesterday, the dentist noticed that they weren't as mobile (loose) as when I first visited her, so suggested a deep clean "to see if it will firm up the teeth in the gums". I was all for that, if there is any way to save my remaining teeth, I'd like to give it a go -it's worth a try for me anyway. I think that the deep clean, with removing the plaque build up between the gum and teeth, actually let the gum get closer to the tooth it's against, therefor making a better "holder" for the tooth. At least that's the way it sounded to me!!

I think my dentist office charges $175.00 for 1 to 3 teeth in a deep clean session (at least that's how it shows on the bill).

I'd talk to your dentist next visit and ask her just how necessary it is to your dental health, and see what she has to say. Maybe she has good reason, or maybe not, but asking her directly will let you know for sure how to prioritize your treatment.

Hmm, I didn't realise that the clean could be limited to only the teeth that need it.. I thought it was a "whole mouth" thing. Now that's made me wonder about Dr B. On my first appointment, I am almost positive that she did NOT "count" anything - she just dug between the odd tooth and gum area; it certainly didn't feel like a "thorough check/test", and yet I was quoted precisely $975 ("excluding final restoration" - whatever that means!) for this treatment.
So, how could they quote me this amount without ever having TOLD me (or written down the measurements, for that matter!) just how many of my teeth require such in-depth cleaning? I was basically sat down, looked at, and then told I need this procedure and to book an appointment for it, and it was only after agreeing to that, I was given a sheet of paper to sign with quotes of the treatment... totaling $2000 for just a root canal and a deep clean.
Now the obvious answer would be that perhaps the gum disease is so bad that without even needing to check properly, she could visibly see that my gums were bad.
But, having done ALOT of research, I know I do not have the classic signs of gingivitis, gum disease or whatever, which are, regularly bleeding gums (often whilst brushing), chronic or persistent bad breath, loose or separating teeth, swollen gums, mouth sores...(you get the idea). I've had none of those things.

In fact, I have just re-read the quote they gave me on that first appointment. Regardless of the fact that I have a few cavities and a few broken/old fillings that need doing, there is no mention of anything but the extraction (which I've had), a root canal and this bloody cleaning thing.
Last Monday, I had an MOD amalgam filling replaced with a composite one, (it was old and broken) and I was informed at the desk on the way out that I had to pay $200 for it. NO ONE had mentioned the cost of this to me before the filling was done and I wasn't even ASKED if I wanted white or metal filling! It was only when the dental assistant started aiming the blue light at my mouth that I realised they'd given me a composite!

After I had paid for it (reluctantly!), I was given an appointment for this coming Monday to, "see what else needs doing" - meaning things that wern't included for some reason on the "quote" list.
Is it that they only quoted me for the procedures that they personally deemed "more costly", or have they done wrong by not doing a whole-mouth x-ray to find all problems, and THEN given me a quote for each respective thing?

Am I just getting myself wound up and paranoid???

Something doesn't sound right here. I know that we sometimes miss the details as we are nervous but there seems to be too much missing on your treatment plan.

At your next visit I would not get in the chair until the dentist has gone through the whole treatment plan with you. Say you are confused about what is necessary and what is optional. Say you don't want to be rung up at home and pressured about an expensive treatment when its not planned. Say that all the uncertanty is making you very nervous (or even say scared) and putting you off comming back as you need to know what you are expecting to be able to cope with it.

You sound like you are feeling out of control with your treatment. Put the brakes on it now and take stock of where you are going. Don't be afraid to question your treatment, it is your choice to have it and you are paying the bill.

I agree 100% with Robotguy!! Sitting and talking to the dentist would be the best course of action.

You've got to let the dentist know that you can only afford to things in little steps, so the most urgent works should come first. If something doesn't seem to be urgent to you, yet is on the urgent side, ask her why it's important to get whatever it is done. They might have sound reasoning that makes sense after an explaination. You won't know til you ask.

I've got a friend at work that goes to the same dentist I do, and they did his cleaning in 4 visits, a quarter of his mouth at a time, spread over 2 weeks. I think they did it this way because of the time involved in a deep cleaning.

When I was having the impressions done for my denture, the dentist wanted to me have a deep clean first, because she said that would give them a better impression. I said that since all the top teeth were coming out anyway, and I didn't want to wait to get the impressions done, I needed to get the teeth out (missing top front tooth was soooooo embarassing!!) ASAP. I could tell it wasn't "her" way to do things when I told her they way I wanted to do it, but I think she realized how important it was to me to get the denture, so we started with that, and then worked from there. I've since had, in this order - 1 filling on a tooth was breaking off, deep clean on 5 teeth-light clean on 2 teeth, 2 fillings done, 1 more filling and deep clean on 2 teeth that were to be extracted but will check on how well the deep clean worked on getting them back into shape.

It's difficult when you think someone is trying to give you the run around, so don't let them. Like Robotguy said, put the brakes on it now!! If they aren't willing to work with you on this, I hate to say it, but you may need to find a different dentist . . .

I really wish you the best of luck at your next visit, stressing out about the things they are telling you is not good for you - and it doesn't need to be that way, and shouldn't be that way.

Thanks everyone, I will have a talk with the dentist tomorrow and reiterate that my finances can only (just) cover the most urgent procedures.
Fingers crossed it won't be too drastic!

I am currenty going through this right now. My dentist is a godsend, without her, I would be a wreck.

I had to have the deep cleaning in the middle of treatment, even before my extractions which is happening tomorrow.

They had to measure the pockets, they also had to to remove tarter/decay from my "good teeth" for me, my good teeth would be supporting my new upper and lower partials.

I had the treatment/cleaning/scaling and was told to floss after each meal, I had a perscription for a antibiotic mouthwash which I rinsed a few times a day.

After this procedure my gums were healing, and they now can move forward to my extractions and partials. For my treatment is was one of the steps in my treatment plan. My pockets were deep and required major scaling. It didn't hurt, I was given loads of LA, but I made it through.

Good luck to you !! My heart goes out to you as well.
I just posted my story tonight.

JP in Michigan