W
WhiteSmilesInCincy
Junior member
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2010
- Messages
- 9
Dear all,
My name is Michael. I am a RAD activist here in Cincinnati, Ohio. To make a very long story short, I neglected my teeth over the years. Not because I wanted to, but simply because I didn't care. I have alot of "psych and social" issues. I let my teeth get from bad to worse over a long time span. I am a recovering alcoholic and a soda addict. Combine all of those with the fear of a dentist, and you get the mess I am now in.
Dentists for a year or two have told me all my teeth would have to come out. I would constantly get infections and slowly got myself addicted to painkillers simply because of the constant pain I was in. My teeth were so terrible in fact, I didn't smile for almost 10 years. In every picture of me, I was always frowning or had my mouth closed.
I constantly had terrible infection breath and my teeth would literally split into peices as I was chewing food, or when I woke up in the morning I would find a hunk of enamel in my mouth.
After an initial consult with a local dentist, I was told that to restore the last 22 of my teeth would cost between 35 and 45 grand and still would need partials, I was shattered. The last shred of any kind of dignity I had was gone. The only time I would leave my house was for doctors or hospital visits. I didn't have the money to spend and the teeth that could be saved may not have actually survived more than a few years.
The total bill for all of the dentist visits over the past year have been in the thousands. "Take them all out" they said. Considering the fact that my particular pyschological "situation" has alot of variables, I am prone to severe depression. What kind of freak would I be. A big one in my mind.
What would my girlfriend think. How could she ever look at me again?? How in the hell could I do anything or see anyone knowing that I am a freak of nature, and what's worse, it's all my fault.
That's right folks, I blame myself. There is no one else to blame for this mess but me. That however, brings me no reprieve from my morose state of mind.
I made my appt with the denture (Why can't they just call them teeth for God's sake) place. I got a 600 dollar denture (Care of my family, thank you guys). I was so embarrassed. Nothing but really old people were in there. I was the only young person there. I felt horrible. Actually, beyond horrible. I was praying a plane would crash into the building. I didn't want to be seen there, I didn't want to open my mouth for anyone and I didn't want to be there.
But, I had no choice I suppose.
I will not bludgeon you with details that you already know. The doctor was nice. To me, my teeth, my life and my rule for being there was an epic failure. He made me feel comfortable. I stuck my hand out and shook his hand. He smiled, I smiled and that was that. He looked in my mouth and said what every other doctor said. "Take them all out". Thank you, professor.
Time for the molds. WEEE was that ever horrible. I had two shattered teeth in the back with nerves exposed. I was afraid of that sticky mold crap pulling those teeth out. This guy wasn't exactly soft with his hands, either. After he gagged me with that mold crap a few times he pulled that ice cold mold out. It was all over from that point. The very nice receptionist (I think she was checking me out, kinda weird) said "We will see you tommorow." She was very cheerful and receptive. It made my day. Sometimes, feeling like you aren't the only freak on the planet gives you a sense of calm and clarity.
Well, let's skip forward to the actual extraction. Considering my giant fear of needles. (I go into fight or flight mode) I was hesitant let the doctor stick a needle into my arm. After a bad experience with an extraction, I never, ever, EVER had a tooth pulled without being knocked out.
The needle went in, and out I went, into lala land. I gotta say, it was kinda fun. I always got giggly when that funny ass feeling came over you right before you get knocked out.
I woke up in the reclined position. He jammed my new teeth into my mouth and did some adjusting. The doctor was saying something, but I didn't really give a damn. A nuclear bomb could have gone off outside the office and I still wouldn't have cared.
I just kind of sat that there with a stupid smile on my face. That was until I got into my dad's minivan. Dark, arterial blood went everywhere. My clothes, his dashboard, the floor, the seatbelts. I cannot tell you how much blood I swallowed on the trip home.
I was still pretty smacked on the drive home I was just starin at clouds, bleeding like a stuck pig. My dad said "Mike stop bleeding on the car!!" Like I wanted to be bleeding. Nope, would have rather have been fishin'.
We got to my parents house so I could sleep off the drugs. of course, I bled all over everything and my dad was prepared. He put plastic bags all over the couch. I said "Mike OUT" and fell asleep. I woke up to these bulky ass teeth in my mouth. My entire mouth was screaming with terrible pain: In fact the worst pain of my life. I popped a view vicodins, waiting for them to kick in.
I thought the depression couldn't get worse? It could and it did. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked myself. My teeth were gone, I was freezing and I was covered in blood. I finally decided to head home after my the drugs wore off. My girlfriend drove.
For the next few days I ate almost nothing. The pain was so blinding and constant getting anything solid down was impossible. I felt like an infant. My girlfriend would (And still does) have to mash my food sometimes into a paste to get it down. Good God, why me.
A week after the extraction (today) I am still eating nothing but applesauce, fish, ice cream, pudding, and soup. The new uppers and lowers are bumping into all kinds of extraction sites making eating almost impossible. There is one place on my upper jaw that is so sensitive, that getting the uppers into place brings me to my proverbial knees in pain.
I am drooling constantly, trying my best not to swallow excess saliva, which is hard, but I am also learing how to spit with my new teeth with no adhesive at all!!! I am spitting every 5 minutes or so. That's really pissing me off.
Day 5: Readjust teeth for the first time. The same doctor that made my teeth saw me again. As always I shook his hand he asked me how I was. I said:
" I am literally in hell ". He laughed. Fucker.
"Yea, that's bound to happen with new dentures."
Call em teeth doc.
Without warning he yanked my teeth out and that same raw spot opened up. Blood and spit and those nasty mouth scabby things went all over me. I yelped in terrible pain. The nurse grabbed a quick napkin and I was able to catch the rest of the spit and blood. After some quick grindings and adjustments (With some of those cushion things) he placed them back in my mouth, carefully.
Thank you doc.
"Feel better?" "Hell yes, they felt better. I can actually place a bit of biting pressure on the back teeth and my teeth line up: For the first time in my life!!!
So here I sit. A toothless freak. When my girlfriend came home today she told me something that I think is telling. She said:
"You know what I like about your new teeth??? You smile." That one hit home. I have smiled in almost 10-15 years because of bad teeth.
Of course I am learning how to talk without a slur. It feels like I have a pair of mouthgaurds in my mouth right now. I have to spit again (Really)...
The depression still gets really bad at night for me when I take my teeth out. I cover my mouth when I speak to my girlfriend or not at all and she never see's me put my new teeth in or out. These are my rules. For right now.
Tonight. I am going to be bold. I am going to try a bananna and see if I can chew that. Of course I will have someone here just in case I choke, but I have been reading up on these forums. I will start slow and take small bites.
On Wed I have my stitches out. Tonight or tommorow morning I will let you guys know how the chewing went.
If there is anyone that wants to chat with me about their experiences and I might be able to help them with their journey, feel free to PM me. The more people talking about this taboo subject I think bring more support to the younger crowd that are facing this very life changing decision.
With lots of Love,
Michael
RAD-ONLINE.org
My name is Michael. I am a RAD activist here in Cincinnati, Ohio. To make a very long story short, I neglected my teeth over the years. Not because I wanted to, but simply because I didn't care. I have alot of "psych and social" issues. I let my teeth get from bad to worse over a long time span. I am a recovering alcoholic and a soda addict. Combine all of those with the fear of a dentist, and you get the mess I am now in.
Dentists for a year or two have told me all my teeth would have to come out. I would constantly get infections and slowly got myself addicted to painkillers simply because of the constant pain I was in. My teeth were so terrible in fact, I didn't smile for almost 10 years. In every picture of me, I was always frowning or had my mouth closed.
I constantly had terrible infection breath and my teeth would literally split into peices as I was chewing food, or when I woke up in the morning I would find a hunk of enamel in my mouth.
After an initial consult with a local dentist, I was told that to restore the last 22 of my teeth would cost between 35 and 45 grand and still would need partials, I was shattered. The last shred of any kind of dignity I had was gone. The only time I would leave my house was for doctors or hospital visits. I didn't have the money to spend and the teeth that could be saved may not have actually survived more than a few years.
The total bill for all of the dentist visits over the past year have been in the thousands. "Take them all out" they said. Considering the fact that my particular pyschological "situation" has alot of variables, I am prone to severe depression. What kind of freak would I be. A big one in my mind.
What would my girlfriend think. How could she ever look at me again?? How in the hell could I do anything or see anyone knowing that I am a freak of nature, and what's worse, it's all my fault.
That's right folks, I blame myself. There is no one else to blame for this mess but me. That however, brings me no reprieve from my morose state of mind.
I made my appt with the denture (Why can't they just call them teeth for God's sake) place. I got a 600 dollar denture (Care of my family, thank you guys). I was so embarrassed. Nothing but really old people were in there. I was the only young person there. I felt horrible. Actually, beyond horrible. I was praying a plane would crash into the building. I didn't want to be seen there, I didn't want to open my mouth for anyone and I didn't want to be there.
But, I had no choice I suppose.
I will not bludgeon you with details that you already know. The doctor was nice. To me, my teeth, my life and my rule for being there was an epic failure. He made me feel comfortable. I stuck my hand out and shook his hand. He smiled, I smiled and that was that. He looked in my mouth and said what every other doctor said. "Take them all out". Thank you, professor.
Time for the molds. WEEE was that ever horrible. I had two shattered teeth in the back with nerves exposed. I was afraid of that sticky mold crap pulling those teeth out. This guy wasn't exactly soft with his hands, either. After he gagged me with that mold crap a few times he pulled that ice cold mold out. It was all over from that point. The very nice receptionist (I think she was checking me out, kinda weird) said "We will see you tommorow." She was very cheerful and receptive. It made my day. Sometimes, feeling like you aren't the only freak on the planet gives you a sense of calm and clarity.
Well, let's skip forward to the actual extraction. Considering my giant fear of needles. (I go into fight or flight mode) I was hesitant let the doctor stick a needle into my arm. After a bad experience with an extraction, I never, ever, EVER had a tooth pulled without being knocked out.
The needle went in, and out I went, into lala land. I gotta say, it was kinda fun. I always got giggly when that funny ass feeling came over you right before you get knocked out.
I woke up in the reclined position. He jammed my new teeth into my mouth and did some adjusting. The doctor was saying something, but I didn't really give a damn. A nuclear bomb could have gone off outside the office and I still wouldn't have cared.
I just kind of sat that there with a stupid smile on my face. That was until I got into my dad's minivan. Dark, arterial blood went everywhere. My clothes, his dashboard, the floor, the seatbelts. I cannot tell you how much blood I swallowed on the trip home.
I was still pretty smacked on the drive home I was just starin at clouds, bleeding like a stuck pig. My dad said "Mike stop bleeding on the car!!" Like I wanted to be bleeding. Nope, would have rather have been fishin'.
We got to my parents house so I could sleep off the drugs. of course, I bled all over everything and my dad was prepared. He put plastic bags all over the couch. I said "Mike OUT" and fell asleep. I woke up to these bulky ass teeth in my mouth. My entire mouth was screaming with terrible pain: In fact the worst pain of my life. I popped a view vicodins, waiting for them to kick in.
I thought the depression couldn't get worse? It could and it did. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked myself. My teeth were gone, I was freezing and I was covered in blood. I finally decided to head home after my the drugs wore off. My girlfriend drove.
For the next few days I ate almost nothing. The pain was so blinding and constant getting anything solid down was impossible. I felt like an infant. My girlfriend would (And still does) have to mash my food sometimes into a paste to get it down. Good God, why me.
A week after the extraction (today) I am still eating nothing but applesauce, fish, ice cream, pudding, and soup. The new uppers and lowers are bumping into all kinds of extraction sites making eating almost impossible. There is one place on my upper jaw that is so sensitive, that getting the uppers into place brings me to my proverbial knees in pain.
I am drooling constantly, trying my best not to swallow excess saliva, which is hard, but I am also learing how to spit with my new teeth with no adhesive at all!!! I am spitting every 5 minutes or so. That's really pissing me off.
Day 5: Readjust teeth for the first time. The same doctor that made my teeth saw me again. As always I shook his hand he asked me how I was. I said:
" I am literally in hell ". He laughed. Fucker.
"Yea, that's bound to happen with new dentures."
Call em teeth doc.
Without warning he yanked my teeth out and that same raw spot opened up. Blood and spit and those nasty mouth scabby things went all over me. I yelped in terrible pain. The nurse grabbed a quick napkin and I was able to catch the rest of the spit and blood. After some quick grindings and adjustments (With some of those cushion things) he placed them back in my mouth, carefully.
Thank you doc.
"Feel better?" "Hell yes, they felt better. I can actually place a bit of biting pressure on the back teeth and my teeth line up: For the first time in my life!!!
So here I sit. A toothless freak. When my girlfriend came home today she told me something that I think is telling. She said:
"You know what I like about your new teeth??? You smile." That one hit home. I have smiled in almost 10-15 years because of bad teeth.
Of course I am learning how to talk without a slur. It feels like I have a pair of mouthgaurds in my mouth right now. I have to spit again (Really)...
The depression still gets really bad at night for me when I take my teeth out. I cover my mouth when I speak to my girlfriend or not at all and she never see's me put my new teeth in or out. These are my rules. For right now.
Tonight. I am going to be bold. I am going to try a bananna and see if I can chew that. Of course I will have someone here just in case I choke, but I have been reading up on these forums. I will start slow and take small bites.
On Wed I have my stitches out. Tonight or tommorow morning I will let you guys know how the chewing went.
If there is anyone that wants to chat with me about their experiences and I might be able to help them with their journey, feel free to PM me. The more people talking about this taboo subject I think bring more support to the younger crowd that are facing this very life changing decision.
With lots of Love,
Michael
RAD-ONLINE.org