Just booked my first appointment and I'm so scared and embarrassed!

Hi all. I discovered this site a few weeks ago and reading it has helped me to get the courage together to book my first appt in 14 years. I'm glad I've done it but am so ashamed by my teeth...I'm a 32 year old woman with a good job and not bad looking...in fact others looking from the outside probably look at me and think I've got it 'all together' and that I'm ok...it couldn't be further from the truth. My dental phobia pretty much rules my life. Now I'm terrified about how much work I might need...my gums have receded quite badly and I have dark brown stains between my teeth...and the calculus is awful! People don't notice because the damage is hidden...there were times I wished I could it the biggest toothache just to force me into going. I feel so pathetic for not sorting it out sooner... x

Well done on booking your first appointment!!!!

Phobias are strange, they seem to affect even the strongest people in other aread of their lives!!!!!!

jUST KEEP GOING YOU WILL GET THERE!!!!!!

you have passed a big hurdle by even making the appointment!!!!!!

Hi Bubble1077

Welcome to the forum

Congratulations on taking the first and very difficult step in making the appointment, that takes courage. Dental phobia is very common, you are not alone.

Phobias can rule your life, as long as you stay away from the thing you fear. Positive action starts to rob the fear of its power. Dentistry has come a very long way in the past 14 years. I understand that you are embarrassed about the state of your teeth. I am confident they are not in as bad of shape as you think. I also know they will be far from the worst that the dentist has ever seen.

It is helpful to write out a list of questions you have and take them with you. This is much easier than trying to remember them when you are there.

You have taken a big step to overcome a real terror in you life. This forum is filled with people that have been where you are at. I am confident you will receive a great amount of support and encouragement. Please let us know how we can support and help you.

Blessings

Thanx ReaderGirl and StressDoc. It was really nice of you both to reply! When I wrote it out it felt a bit like shouting from the top of a mountain into a big black nothing...but now it feels better. I've never told anyone I was scared before...apart from my partner and thats only been in the last few weeks! Trouble is is that he doesn't go to the dentists either but has no issues to speak of and his teeth look great...lucky thing!

My appointment is at 8.30am on Friday the 30th of July. I'm worried already, but then when I count the nights I've laid awake worrying about my teeth I suppose it is in some ways a little better now I've booked in.

It's a funny thing this phobia...it sort of makes you a little obsessed I suppose...I look at people's teeth all the time. It seems like everyone around me has nice teeth and I think I'd like to join their club! I just hope the road to the club isn't too bad! I'm determined that this little sofa guy won't be me next Friday!

Hi Bubble!

I just recently went to my first dental appointment in about 15 years, so I know how it feels, and let me tell you -- I honestly think making the appointment was the hardest part!! Once you get over that first step, you will know you have done the right thing. I was lucky enough to get a great dentist with a very kind and compassionate team on the first try. They all made me feel at ease immediately, and I am so glad I decided to take the plunge, so to speak. I hope your first visit experience goes as well as mine.

Also, I find that especially since I started on this journey of mine, I look at people's teeth all the time too! I can't wait for the day when I can smile proudly and with confidence, you know, for the benefit of all the people out there who are looking at my teeth. hehe.

Dental phobia is awful, we have all been there or still are. Well done for taking steps to get your mouth healthy again. Try not to think the worst as it really is amazing what they can do with teeth which we think are really bad.

Hi Bubble!

You're definitely not alone, nor are you "the worst". I am much older than you - 47 - and I'm just now FINALLY sorting it out, as you put it. Phobias have nothing to do with how strong a person is. They make no sense.... they're terrifying, very real, and as the Doc said, they can and do rule your life for YEARS until you finally face the fear, little by little... and you're doing that now by posting on this site - so you should feel really good about yourself for taking that step!

Shop around and find a dentist you feel really comfortable with - One who listens to your concerns and takes your phobia seriously.

You CAN do this! AND you deserve a beautiful, healthy smile!

Hello and welcome, your situation sounds very much like mine was a few months ago. I too had managed to keep the damage to my teeth hidden from everyone, most of it being at the back. Slowly though the front teeth were starting to get bad and the scale was building up badly too, well 26 years of not cleaning your teeth will make them dirty.

One thing I asked for early on was to have the scale taken off, this made a huge improvement very quickly. Also a lot of what I though was decay was just staining which also polished off. Yes I still had a huge amount to do but just seeing that I did have some OK looking teeth under all that much really helped my confidence in getting everything fixed.

My dentist used an ultrasonic cleaner to remove the scale, there was no pain at all during the process, although there was a couple of high pitched whines when she went between two teeth, in a gap that I can't ever remember seeing before as it was so full of scale!

Afterwards a couple of teeth had a mild ache to them but that settled down in a couple of days, certainly nothing like toothache though.

At the moment the scale is stopping your gums from attaching to your teeth. Once this has been removed your gums will attached themselves back to your teeth quite quickly giving a big improvement too.

You have taken a huge step in deciding to get this done for yourself. You can do it, it may take some time, but you will get there.

Bubble, trust me when I tell you this; Making the appointment and the worry beforehand is FAR worse than the actual appointment. And please don't feel embarrassed..the dentist won't judge you. (And if he does..FIND A NEW ONE!) That first visit most likely won't be anything other than the dentist having a look around your mouth and perhaps x-rays.
You've taken the biggest (and hardest!) step already. Be proud of yourself for taking control.
Good luck!!

Thank you to you all! The support here is great and I'm feeling more hopeful about my situation. You're right about it initially just being about having a look around in there...and if he's a mean or judgemental dentist I'll just chalk it up to experience and go elsewhere. Thinking about it, they'd be mad not to be polite and understanding as they're likely to make some pretty top dollar out of someone like me who's been hiding for so long!

You're all so brave and it's thinking about you all on the sunnier side of the street that's spurring me on. The practical tips and advice on what's likely to happen and what things feel like really helps. I feel like when I've really got stuck into beating this my personality will come out more too...I mean, are you really being yourself when you have to think about how you smile all the time for fear of people seeing too much?

I'll keep referring back to all of your advice over the next week in the run up to the appointment as it's helping me to get it into some perspective.

Thank you all! xxx

Hi Terrifiedwoman good luck you will be ok.


Dave.

You'll be fine. And you'll feel like you climbed a mountain afterwards! Why not think of a reward for yourself and focus on getting that afterwards? I bought a shedload of make-up after my last appointment (just check-ups now!) but a few years back I didn;t bother with make-up as it seemed pointless when I had the horrible teeth.

Sounds like you just need a good hygiene appointment to sort that out, too. Once you're on top of things you won't ever find yourself feeling like this, again! You ARE a together person - this is just one minor thing you let slip and you're dealing with it before it gets worse. Kudos to you.

Hi Bubble!

Your story is very much the same as mine. We are similar age and I hadn't been in over 15 years, at a guess. People see me as confident, and I've got a reputation as quite trendy, so the fact I've not looked after my teeth would be a shock to many. Thing is, I am just terrified!

Anyway, I have just been for my first trip to deal with the built up tartar. To be honest, it was SO much easier than expected. I won't go so far as to say it was pleasant, but it wasn't bad really.

They used a machine to knock off the tartar, and that just felt like buzzing on my teeth. They had to pick a little to get some off and that was the worst bit, but was no worse than using a toothpick. Took about 20 minutes, and I am going back next week for more of the same.

I can't believe the difference already! I can smile confidently! Honestly, I can't wait to go back and have it finished so my teeth are all white again.

See my post about Hypnosis and NLP. I can't imagine I could have got so far without that. It's changed my life!

Thank you for your support everyone! So many good tips! Like the one about makeup Poodleoo, I may well just do that...I nice new lipstick can take the edge off most of my moods!

Great to hear from people I have lots in common with...thanks for your post Wellesy, our situations are indeed very similar and it's good to hear that you're coming out of the other side a much happier person.

My appts on Friday so 5 days and counting...I feel a bit stressed and sometimes feel like I can't breathe properly when thinking about it, but I just have to get it sorted...trying to be brave!

Cheers guys, I feel more like the little blue fella now rather than that one that hides behind the sofa! x

Dear Bubble, just one year ago i was like you, hadn't been to the dentist in many many years ..... and my teeth worries used to keep me awake at night! Finally it was a tooth near the front breaking in half that forced me to the dentist! Well, I can't tell you how much better my life was when I was no longer ruled by that fear!! You have taken the first step by making that appointment!! After you go on Friday you will feel like a whole new person! Tomorrow I go for a clean and check up, just like regular people do. Good luck and best wishes.

I'm another one who was ina very similar situation to yourself. Part of me felt relieved that I had made the appointment, I always knew the day would come and doing it on my terms seemed to help. I had some anxiety therapy which really helped.

On the day of the appointment I was very scared, but I wrote a letter to the dentist telling them I was scared, that I had neglected my teeth but that I was committed to sorting them out with their help. My therapist told me to go in and shake hands with the dentist, which I did and I think that helped. She read my letter and said she wanted to help me. I was crying at this point, but got in the chair and once I'd opened my mouth I didn't feel so bad. The feeling of shame beforehand was overwhelming, but once I'd opened my mouth she could see, she didn't tell me off and that helped me to relax.

I also had a lot of calculus. I had a cleaning 2 weeks ago, and while it wasn't pleasant, it didn't hurt and my mouth feels a lot healthier. I'm not done yet, my dentist is on holiday at the moment so I have another appointment to go and then we will see what else needs doing.

You've done so well to ring up and make the appointment and you will be fine. You will be glad that you are getting things sorted. Let us know how you get on.

Cheers guys, two days to go and my anxiety is reaching fever pitch...I've got quite a stressful job and I'm so distracted at the moment...I just don't feel I'm coping well...

21 hours to go...not feeling too sick at the mo which is good but am very distracted...its driving me mad...had nightmares about teeth last night...

Hi Bubble,

we are going to support each other through this!!!!!!!

my first appointment for iv sedation is on monday so like you I am nervous

what is helping me through funnily enough is remembering the pain I was in when my abcess was at its height and thinking i cannot go through that pain!!!!!!!!!!

Remembr it is your appointmement and they will go at your pace!!!!!!!!

and a examination is only 15/20 mins long - just keep thinking that

and can I tell you the worst bit is the apprehension not the actual appointmnt itself and the relief you will feel when it is ovr is great because like m you re dealing with your issus not ignoring it!!!!!

and just keep thinking that the pain from toothache is unacceptable!!!!!!