What would you like??

Hi, i'm based in the uk, but would like to reply anyway. I might be of use.

In my dental surgery, the reception area is welcoming and comfortable. There are comfy chairs, lots of posters and leaflets but nothing to distressing for an anxious patient.

The receptionist is polite, helpful and really accommodating, she knows all the patients by first name and your dental history so can put you at ease if your having treatment that day, feeling nervous etc.

Also my waiting room may be sound proofed, i certainly can't hear whats going on in the surgery up stairs, i.e. if someone else is having a filling, i can't hear the drill, or the chair moving.

My dentist and his nurse are wonderful, really friendly, always call me by my first name, ask me how i am feeling about the appointment, ask me how my general health is, am i on any new meds etc. They always ask me if i'm having any problems with my teeth and gums, then they invite me to sit in the chair.

They always tell me when they are going to lower the chair. Then my dentist will check my teeth, he only puts a mirror in my mouth to do this and nothing else, which for me is really good as i have a bad gag reflex and fear of choking.

If he thinks theres a problem area, he'll tell me then use another instrument to check the surface of the tooth.

Any treatment that needs done will be scheduled for another appointment. I decide what i want to have done first, if i want it done all in one appoinment or carried out over a few appointments.

My dentist took me on as a private patient as the area of UK i live in has no more NHS dentists all there lists are full, so he is always happy to work out a payment plan, happy for me to pay in installments, most expensive treatment first etc.

The radio is always playing in the background in the surgery, if i feel anxious, worried scared at any time all i have to do is raise my hand and they'll stop until i'm ready again.

How can we help?

Hi everyone

My name is Lee-Anne and I am a dental hygienist working in the UK. Over my last few years I have begun to take a specialist interest in treating patients who have dental phobias. This has been on an informal basis and I kind of fell into it by having some great success with a number of very phobic patients and therefore ended up receiving referrals in the practices I have worked in.

I am now very keen to try and understand what we can do as a profession to make things better for all our patients and then passing on this knowledge if I can. I think those of us in dentistry have a lot to learn and it is an area of education not offered enough to any of the dental team which is something I would love to change. Finding this site has been a big help already in teaching me how patients feel about dentistry but I would love to learn more.

If people have the time I would be love it if anyone could answer a few questions for me?
What would your ideal dental visit be like?
Is there one thing that scares you more than any other?
What do you think the dental team could change that would make things better for you (for example surroundings, attitude, uniform etc)?
If you have found a dentist that you now trust what is it about them that has made the difference?

Thanks again in advance I look forward to hearing from you

Lan x

Re: How can we help?

Hello Lee-Anne,

How lovely to hear from someone who wants to help and understand people like me. I believe that this world needs more people like you who want to know and understand rather than tell you that you are being silly or that things have changed now etc etc. Those sort of comments just dont help at all.

I am 51 and have been dental phobic since my very first visit to a dentist at the age of 3 where I went through a traumatic time, and then had to endure another one to put right what the first "butcher" got wrong. I realise most dentists are not like that now but that put me off for life and I have lived in real fear since.

Ideal visit would be firstly, no waiting in a waiting room and no clincial environment, no dentist smell, dentist that explained everything, was patient and understanding and not judgemental, and that could be completely trusted, and staff with no uniforms. It would be lovely if there was a much better understanding of why people like me fear the dentist like they do. It would be lovely if dentists would hold free organised evenings for people like myself to go (without an appointment) and informally find out the options available to them, and where they could meet the dentist and experience the environment and chair etc and just get used to it before making an appointment and getting treatment. That would help so much with the fear of the unknown if nothing else. That would certainly help me.

What scares me the most? Everything. I am scared of contacting a dentist, speaking to a dentist, the smell, the wait, the environment, the uniforms, the surgery and that chair with the basin by the side and the big lights over. I am scared of not being able to explain my true feelings either because I am so upset that I cant talk or because Im embarrassed. I am also scared of the pain and blood when I leave (I have never had regular treatment, I have only ever been to a dentist to have extractions under Gas and later GA). I am also really quite shy around people I dont know and the close proximity of the dentist and nurse who I have never met before feels daunting and threatening, even though I have to admit these days they are usually very nice.

The last dentist that I went to was over 30yrs ago and I desperately need to see one now. I am trying to find one, and to make myself make an appointment. I have got a real problem with sedation and feel that I need to have GA. I have very bad teeth (that probably all need extracting) and very bad gums.

I hope what I have told you will help you to help others.

Thanks so much for caring and being interested.
Debbie x

Re: How can we help?

This is such a great idea! If only it was more widespread!

What would your ideal dental visit be like? I actually had the ideal visit yesterday. I just arrived, filled out some forms, and after a wee wait (though I agree with Lacey about the eliminating the wait part), and was whisked away by the dentist. The place is new and I didn't notice any weird clinical smells, which was great! I hadn't been to the dentist in 15 years so I'm not sure how things were done back then (I was still a kid), but this time the dentist took me into a room and we discussed my fears/how long it'd been since I'd gone/and what would happen during the first visit. He really made me feel comfortable and I appreciated it.

Is there one thing that scares you more than any other? I was really afraid of the diagnosis. I hadn't been in so long that I feared I'd lose all of my teeth. I'm not really sure how to ease that fear, though. I did like that the dentist talked me through everything, tooth by tooth, and just his demeanor. I didn't feel like I was being lectured for not having been in so long. He actually made me really calm and seemed to understand that it would never be my favorite place, but that they'd ease me into it.

What do you think the dental team could change that would make things better for you (for example surroundings, attitude, uniform etc)?
The x rays are pretty uncomfortable so a better way of doing that that would produce the same results would be great. Though, I guess that's asking a little much. Perhaps not so much proximity to other patients, too. While I was getting my exam done I could see what was going on next door. A little more privacy would be awesome. An informal setting would be great.

If you have found a dentist that you now trust what is it about them that has made the difference?
I just met him yesterday, but I really appreciated him not lecturing me. He was very calm and honest without being intimidating in the least. I like that we talked before heading into the examination room. It also helped that he asked me other stuff that had nothing to do with teeth. -.-

Re: How can we help?

Hi Lee-Anne ,

we had a similar thread a while back (took me some time to find it!),which I've just moved to the "discussion" section as a sticky... lots of responses on the same topic, here it is:

[removed out-of-date link]

Thought it might be useful to gather them all in the same place... (Brit, if you happen to see this, is there any chance you could you merge this thread with the thread mentioned above?? that would be brilliant)

Letsconnect....Threads merged as requested - you can now easily move it to whichever section you think it fits best in. There was also an American trainee dental nurse who was herself quite a phobic patient who asked for similar info a few months back...name Adria I think.

To answer the topic:
I'm slightly anxious (owing to bad childhood experiences), rather than phobic and have never avoided treatment but in a nutshell: BE NICE!!!!
Ideal appointment: made to feel welcome, pleasant environment, comfortable procedures

Is there one thing that scares you more than any other? Unnecessary pain, especially staff who do not maximise patient comfort because they can't be bothered. NB This applies to hygienists in particular.

What do you think the dental team could change that would make things better for you (for example surroundings, attitude, uniform etc)?
Be pleasant and informal and chat about non-dental things.....no white uniforms please.....always assume any patient might be potentially nervous and behave reassuringly....ask them if they are ok before and during procedures?

If you have found a dentist that you now trust what is it about them that has made the difference?
I have really liked and trusted most of the dentists who have treated me over the last 35 years....they were kind, humorous, competent, gentle and painless. I had thought all dentists thesedays were like that until I experienced a less than ideal approach when I moved to my current location 3 years ago. If I had stayed in the UK, I would never have stumbled upon this board because I would probably not have needed the advice. Alas all dentists are not the same; and 'true phobics' are usually created by bad dentists somewhere along the line.

Hope this helps .

My Ideal Dentist visit would Be One where it went well!
I always Prefer Dentists Not In Uniform-It "deanxifies" Me!.
The one thing In all the world That scares the living Daylights out of Me iN the Drasted Needle! It would be great if all dentists did iv sedation!
I agree with everyone on The waiting time. If you don't have to Wait you Don't get just as nervous as quickly!
Hope this Helps!
Vicky

Hi there!
Neat thread! I think I shall add my two cents as well!

Quote: "If you have found a dentist that you now trust what is it about them that has made the difference?"

Response: The first dentist that I have ever trusted in my whole entire life, is the dentist that I have right now and I would never trade her! My reasons:

1) She is great at putting a patient at ease before work. She can just walk in like an old friend and strike up a conversation with you and you completely forget who you are talking to and suddenly your smiling and relaxed. I guess you could call that having "charisma"???
2) She gives me as much control during treatment that is allowed in a situation like that and always follows the handy "Stop Signal" rule! (I've had to use that one once or twice!) lol
3) She is a great communicator! She communicates to me every step of treatment and warns me about anything that might "alarm" me before she does it, so there aren't any surprises...even if it's just a spray of water to rinse or some small sensation...that can really catch a person off gaurd if they are already nervous! being nervous heightens your senses...VERY IMPORTANT!!!!
4) She is incredibly perceptive! I'm not saying that you have to be a mind-reader...all I'm saying is pay attention to word choice, body language, etc...my dentist can always seem to tell by the look on my face and the body language I'm giving off when I'm about to have a "fight or flight" reaction, and then is able to address it early, before the anxiety gets too out of control. If they flinch or if their lips quiver (like mine do lol) or if they jump or look startled by something, stop and make sure they are ok, and reassure them that your not doing anything that they need to feel frightened by or scared of. This is the first dentist that has ever taken the time to do this for me and I GREATLY appreciate it !!! This will usually keep the person in a rational state of mind as it doesn't ever allow the imagination to wander off too far lol
5) In the case that something does happen by accident, and I need my "stop signal" like a painful injection or I'm caught off gaurd by something or I'm not totally numb before treatment starts or my fear level just gets too high to handle she always steps back and gives me my space and time to compose myself before we dive back into treatment. She gives me time to re-establish that trust level with her and she always reassures me and makes sure I feel safe before we start again. And when we do start again, it's slow and gradual as she knows I'm already uneasy and takes things at my pace.
6) She doesn't treat me like I'm crazy for having my fears. She respects them and understands that some people get nervous and it's a normal reaction on some level and every person has their reasons for their fears and she validates them and is sympathetic and patient towards them. Seeing her validate my fears and respect them really opens the communication and trust levels cause it eliminates that fear or shame of being judged and eliminating the need to hide my fear which just makes me more anxious. She usually treats nervousness like something she sees everyday which is nice cause then I feel a little more normal and I guess it just creates a more comforting environment.

Well those are the big things and all I can think of for now! The only thing I would like to see improved in the office is the wait as it is really too long and gives me too much time to get worked up over nothing...but that's pretty much it! Take care!
~kitkat

1. Be sensitive to patient phobias. Some dentists seem to not care that their patient is in tears or petrified while being escorted to the "room". If the patient seems terified or is barely responding to questions, take some time to discuss their fears and outline the treatment plan for the day. Don't just throw them into the chair and proceed to drill.

2. Never restrain a patient. May seem obvious, but I've actually seen dentists or their assistants grab a patients hands or hold their mouths open. This seems more like torture than patient care.

3. Try to conceal the equipment ... especially if it looks like it was purchased from Dr. Jekyl or Mr. Hyde. The equipment is enough to send a patient with dental phobia into an anxiety attack.

4. To to conceal loud noises. Perhaps the use of soft music, a television, or providing the patient with headphones would provide some white noise and distract the patient from listening to drilling sounds.

5. Upgrade the equipment. Try to use the latest dental technologies ... especially for x-rays. Also, anything that doesn't smoke would help.

6. Reception: The reception area is generally the 1st point of contact ... reception staff should be welcoming and understanding.

7. Be sensitive when providing assessments and diagnosis. Don't sigh loudly or frown or coldly tell the patient that their teeth are useless.

8. Be flexible. Sometimes a patient needs some time before approaching a major dental session. Perhaps do x-rays on day 1, treatment on day 2. I've had one lengthy dental appointment (2 root canals & 1 filling) ... I vow to NEVER do that again. It felt like hell on Earth and torture seemed to never end. That experience has caused me to delay my next dental visit. I feel like I'm back at square one w/ overcoming my phobia.

9. No graphic dental photos. Lose the graphic before & after shots. Pleasant dental photos and helpful tips are good. Or calming pictures that are unrelated to dentistry.

10. Advertising/Marketing practices. If a patient is in for root canals, extractions and cracked teeth ... let's not try to sell them whitening products. First things first. No one wants to whiten cracked teeth

11. Be sensitive re: price. Having flexible payment plans can help patients with limited dental coverage get the treatment they need as soon as possible ... as opposed to putting it off and causing further damage.

Hmm, well my ideal dentist visit is the one where they tell me my teeth are healthy and beautiful and they'll see me again in 6 months  No?

OK.  Well to start with, the reception staff are really important.  It's horrible when you've summoned up the courage to phone, and you're stammering and trying not to cry, and they're abrupt or rude to you.  Especially if they're telling you they're not taking new patients ... if so, couldn't they recommend somewhere else, or at least sound sympathetic instead of just saying "No, sorry" and hanging up?  When that happened a few times, I really felt like giving up.
Email would be good?  And a website with a picture of you on it (no, not of your gleaming instruments, of you looking friendly and smiling) helps reduce the "fear of the unknown".

Appointments being available is also important.  I know that can't be easily fixed, but after my experience of ringing 4 dentists and being told to go away, the one that finally took me didn't have an appointment for 2 months.  That's a long time to live in fear and dread.  Likewise, going for a checkup and being told something needs done: it's horrible if you have to wait and worry for a long time for the next appointment.
In fact, this is part of why I ended up not seeing a dentist for 5 years in the first place: I went to university, but stayed registered with my old dentist ... yet whenever I was back home, there were no appointments available.

Reception staff seeming nice and friendly when you arrive is important.  Waiting room: please, no yukky pictures, before&after photos, etc!  And if you can do anything about the smell and the noise, please do.  Privacy: don't want to see patients waiting for their anaesthetic to work, don't want to overhear them at reception saying "Yes, he says I've to come back for ___".

Filling in a questionnaire isn't a bad idea, if it gives an opportunity to mention things I might be too embarrassed to raise otherwise.

Going in: Introduce yourselves!  Yes, the practice only has Bloggs & Smith, but how am I meant to know which one you are?  And I'd like to know the nurse's name too.  First names, preferably.  Smile!  And don't be in a great hurry to get started.  I'd rather have a quick chat, go over any concerns -- you may get some clues from how I'm acting, or from what's on my form, or merely from when I last saw a dentist.  Pick up on and ask about those things cos I'll be too shy to say.  Do so in a polite and friendly way, not accusing or laughing.  I'd rather have this chat face-to-face, not once I'm lying down and you're either up above me or out of sight.

Don't assume that I won't be scared because it's "only" a checkup/a clean/a tiny filling or whatever.  Fears are not logical, and for me they're not about the actual procedure anyway.  And remember that it may be my first filling, or hygienist visit, or whatever.  Don't hurry.

My fears are mostly about people being behind me out of sight, feeling trapped, and maybe not trusting people.  The first one: you're not telepathic; the best you can do is give me an opportunity to tell you that I want you to stay visible or at least talk to me when you're not.  Feeling trapped: try not to tip the chair way back unnecessarily.  And don't put that thing with all the power tools hanging from it across the front of me.  Do arrange a "stop signal" (and obey it if I use it).  Not trusting: explain, show, describe and let me ask questions.  Tell me that if I think of more questions later that I can still ask those too.

If I tell you I'm nervous, don't immediately start suggesting sedation etc.  For me, making me less aware of what's going on would make me more afraid.  And I think sometimes it's more for the dentist's convenience than the patient's.  Best "sedation" for me is you talking to me calmly.

Generally, be nice.  If you have bad news for me, be calm and kind about it, be reassuring that it can be fixed, don't make me feel like a bad person for having let this happen.  Tell me how long a procedure will take, tell me what it will cost, tell me what it will feel like after.  I don't like surprises!  If you've advice to give, don't sound naggy or preachy, and don't make threats or give horror stories of what will happen if I don't follow your advice.  It's polite to ask first ("Is it ok if I just show you the best way to brush your teeth?"  "Is it ok to talk about eating habits?").  The person may well know it all already, and may feel uncomfortable being told this stuff.  I really don't want anyone adding more hangups to my already rather obsessive and restrictive eating behaviour -- my thin appearance might give you a clue, but not everyone with eating problems is thin.

If I really freak out, don't gossip about it.  I don't want the whole waiting room hearing reception staff talking about that woman who after her hygienist visit rushed in a panic from the building without paying ... After getting a breath of air to calm down, I went back inside to pay ... and overheard exactly that.  

Goodbye: even if I have told you really personal stuff, or acted in a childish frightened way, try to undo my embarrassment -- shake hands, "That's great.  See you again in ___".

What would I like at the dentist? Apologies for the lengthy read

After several years - a LONG time - of avoiding the dentist, being totally phobic after a couple of bad experiences, I desperately needed treatment, wanted to find the right dentist, and thought IV sedation may be useful for me. I found there were only two Private dental practices in my area offering IV sedation. I am unable to get NHS treatment.

I will call them Dental Hell, and Dental Heaven.

The first practice I phoned turned out to be 'Dental Hell'. Just making the appointment is a big step for me, as with most phobics I guess. I tend to obsess about the looming appointment, no matter how happy I am in life otherwise, and the closer the appointment comes the worse I get. Anything that reminds me I have only two weeks, or four days to go can ruin my whole day. This practice advertises IV sedation. The receptionist here sounded busy and distracted on the phone, and my usual opening lines of 'I am a very nervous patient, do you have a dentist who would be sympathetic to my fears?' got an abrupt response along the lines of 'Miss H is the only dentist that offers sedation. Would you like to make an appointment with her?' So I said yes, and came off the phone feeling rushed and unsettled, like I hadn't found out enough about the practice.

Now, I realise some dentists don't have the space or the time to make their offices luxurious, but this was spartan to say the least. The place reeked of 'that' smell. The walls were painted hospital magnolia 'sludge', with NHS posters of teeth, stages of gum disease and dancing smiley toothbrushes dotted around. There was even one of those plastic half model human heads, with all the teeth and roots and muscles exposed sitting on a table! The chairs were hard plastic, and crammed full of nervous looking people in complete silence, only broken by the sound of a rumbly tummy, or the distant whine of a drill from behind a door. No music, no happy chat from the receptionists who all looked hassled and busy and one kept sighing every time the phone rang. At one point a door opened and a woman came out, white faced and holding a tissue to her mouth, shaking her head at her husband as he stood to greet her. No sign of the dentist, with soothing words or saying goodbye. Everyone looked unhappy, even the hassled receptionists which didn't bode well for me.

When it was my turn to go in, I was greeted by a trim, small, smart lady in traditional dentist whites, not immediately friendly, introduced herself briefly then ushered me straight to the chair and sat behind me, then hit the motor to recline it before I could even talk to her. I get extremely over sentitised in the dentist, and any sudden movement or sound makes me jump - which I did, about three foot in the air and she commented dryly that if I could just relax a bit everything would be fine. I stared up at the ceiling thinking it was not the best way to conduct a conversation about something extremely important to me, but I just spoke into thin air while she sat behind saying nothing. I explained about my fears, and the experience of having the drill being dropped in my mouth, and she said, "oh that's not that uncommon, probably the poor dentist felt worse than you did" .....Ha, I don't THINK so, at least he didn't need stitches and could still talk and eat properly for six months after the event. She seemed immediately on the defensive, and I thought, not a good start.

Anyway, I told her I had a painful molar, and I asked her not to use the pick. She said she had to to see what was going on at the gum line. I got the distinct feeling she was rolling her eyes to the dental nurse behind my back. I was extremely tense, and I realise I was probably a dentists nightmare patient, but hey, the way to deal with is is not to make me feel worse! I would have assumed someone who goes to the all bother of being able to practice IV sedation would have some sort of sympathy with nervous patients, but she certainly did not. I felt like a complete idiot, a silly woman who was just being tolerated and had to be processed as quickly as possible with the minimum of fuss. I wanted to say 'Stop! I think I will just leave thanks.' But I didn't, of course, too intimidated I guess. She had a good old poke around with the pick which was sheer and utter terror for me. I felt extremely out of control and upset, and this was just a check up. I could feel myself breaking into a sweat. I did say, please don't pick around in my sore tooth, but got no reply. Thank goodness she must have heard me because she didn't, but she did say loudly 'HUGE hole, lower six' which made me feel like hanging my head in shame. Then went for some x rays which was no problem, and she then told me it was abcessed and I needed the tooth extracted. I asked about saving it with a root canal and crown, but she said there was not enough tooth for a crown. She was very abrupt and dismissive and I could just feel waves of ' serves you right for not looking after your teeth...now deal with it' coming off her. Probably an unfair comment, but that is how I truly felt. She then said, 'surely you wont need sedation for an extraction'? and I said, 'yes I do' so she gave me an information sheet, told me to read it, said 'see you in a week or so' smiled politely, and turned her back! Somehow I managed to make another appointment for the extraction and left, feeling utterly dejected and seriously pissed off that I could be charged so much for someone to be dismissive to me. She was not really rude or nasty at any time...just dismissive, and abrupt, and slightly scathing.

I came home, posted on the forum and mulled it over for a while, before of course cancelling. I just could not go back there. I didn't like her, and I know the feeling was mutual. When I phoned to cancel, the receptionist (a different one from the one I spoke to) asked me why I had decided to discontinue treatment, and I told her the truth; as a nervous patient, I was not comfortable with Miss H. You know what she said? "Oh yes, other people have said the same thing...she is a very thorough and good dentist, but I think you have to catch her on the right day!!'

After trolling through the yellow pages, I found a practice who offer sedation - but don't advertise the fact, so it was just by phoning almost every dentist that I finally found them. They are a big, well known, modern practice in the centre of town, they specialise in implants. I rang the number, and did my opening spiel about being nervous. The lovely girl on the end of the phone said ' Ah well, you have come to the right place. We have two lovely dentists who are super with nervous patients, they will do everything possible to make your visit as pleasant as possible'. She then asked if I had a particular problem, and I explained briefly what worried me. She then replied, "dentistry has changed so much - I think you will find coming here to be a positive experience, and of course, we can sedate you if you need it." Wham. SOLD! To the lady with the terrified face cowering in the corner. Then, it just got better, she offered me a choice of two appointments with different dentists and said to have a think about it and ring back. So I asked her who she thought would be the best for me, and she said Miss F. So I just bit the bullet made the appointment then and there.

The practice is situated above coffee shop which helped, as the smell of vanilla and mocha as I climbed the stairs was very pleasant! The offices were huge - modern airy and comfortable, with huge leather sofas, a coffee table, flat screen TV, and smiley staff padding around in blue surgical outfits. Not a poster of teeth or a dancing toothbrush in sight. Also, the coffee machine in the reception was wafting out an equally lovely smell as the stairway. Everyone I saw, going in or OUT of rooms was smiling. Flowers in the windows, happy faces..... Dental Heaven indeed. When it came time for my appointment, Miss F came to greet me, smiling and very friendly, told me to call her Jackie and led me to a huge sunlit room, with yet more sofas and coffee tables. There was The Chair too...but I didn't notice it as we sat for a good ten mins face to face on the sofa as she asked me my dental history and made me feel like I was her only patient. Then she asked if I was ready for the examination, and she told me she would just take a look, and not prod around. I didn't even have to ask her! She confirmed my molar was badly abcessed but thought she could save it. She pointed out another couple of things the other dentist didn't mention, and showed me the suspect areas on the panoral xray. She explained how he IV sedation would make me feel, and asked if there were any concerns I had. She promised she would make the treatment as pain free as possible, although she did say that a hot abcessed tooth could be slightly nippy to work on, but assured me I would always be in control and she would take great care to look for any signals that I was uncomfortable. As a last resort she would extract the tooth (which in the end, she did,)

I left feeling apprehensive, but totally buoyed up that I had perhaps found the dentist of my dreams.


I go into the actual treatment in detail in my journal - two crowns, one filing and an extraction - but suffice to say I have now booked in for an implant in three months and I really think I am on the road to conquering my fears. A rear molar root canal could probably still get me shaking in my boots, but an Implant! Me! The woman who used to gag just hearing the word 'dentist'

Lesley

"The receptionist is polite, helpful and really accommodating, she knows all the patients by first name and your dental history so can put you at ease if your having treatment that day, feeling nervous etc."


Thats a nightmare for me, I really don't want the receptionist to know my history, frankly, I think it's none of her business and the least people that know my history the better!

The best thing that they can do is be honest, tell me every little thing they are going to do, down to moving chair positions, use of mirror, putting fingers in my mouth .....everything. Speaking constantly and calmly to me without expecting an answer is good as it gives me something to concentrate on other than the work.

I had my x-ray today and told the dentist I didn't want to see it because it would make me feel sick, he had it all ready to show me and was then trying to hide it, I think this was a new one on him as he didn't quite know what to do with it afterwards. He was trying to hide it behind his notes.
I liked him for trying but I suspect he thinks I'm insane...

Just having a bit a chat beforehand would be nice, asking what would make it easier for me, asking what
I can and cannot tolerate. I'm sure a lot of dentists would be surprised at the answers to that last question. For instance my most pleasant childhood dentist memories are of the school dentist who I saw twice, I had a filling both times without any pain relief, I asked for it this way as i didn't want a needle in my mouth. Neither of them hurt (shallow fillings?) and i can remember feeling really proud of myself afterwards when they were telling me how brave I was.

hmmm what would i like in a dentist?? the same things i want from anyone. RESPECT, A good sense of humour, Compassion, and Praise for small steps

I've been to dental offices where it seemed like i was a "bad little girl" (which happens to make me clam up really tight... its a wonder i can even open my mouth during those time )

but my best times are when someone is there holding my hand and saying im doing a good job ... foolish i suppose but hey it works

I realise that this is an old thread now, but anyway.....

I have not read all the posts so maybe someone has said this already, but the dental nurse is also very important. Mine kept squeezing my hand and asking me if I was ok, speaking to me by name and asking me if I was ok every 10 minutes or so. It made a world of difference to me as I felt she was keeping an eye on me and would know if I needed a break or anything else. She never let me get to that panicked stage!

I would like to not have to wait 3-6 weeks for a non-emergency appointment - frankly it has been a royal pain in the you know what to have to take so much time off work for one simple broken tooth!

In all seriousness - my ideal dentist would have a website that was a good reflection of the professionality of the practice, that was informative and reliable, and with prices too. I would like to see them have hours that were more accessible to those of us with jobs that aren't easy to get time off from.

My current dentist has very nice, understanding and efficient assistants, the equipment is fairly modern although they don't carry any of the 'magic' things I hear about such as The Wand. There are no smells although they do have a habit of leaving doors open so the nasty noises are easily heard.

Nice extras would be things like the headphones and tv glasses I read are offered in some places, but like the free toothbrushes and floss - I'd rather they saved their cash and charged me less. My endodontist has a lovely surgery, even the waiting room is like a boutique hotel lobby, but I'd rather have saved the $50 extra she probably tacked on to my $1,000 bill and stared at a white wall.

Other than not to have to go? Well, there are a few things that would make it easier.....

The office--I agree with the calm setting, current paper, comfortable chairs, recent magazines. No Bibles on prominent display, something beside sports mags.

The staff--too cheery is maddening. How do I feel today? Well, like s*** because I'm here, thank you. Just be nice. And don't jabber about non-professional things in a loud voice.

Many of the above posts make excellent points. Keep the instruments out of sight, please. I will stand at the door to the cubicle and make sure that hideous injection torture device is no where in sight before entering. Don't drop the chair like a stone and expect me to be cool with it. Do be gentle and reassuring and chat about non-scary things, or just be quite.

Dentist--please listen. Let me say it again--LISTEN. Don't put words in my mouth. Don't EVER say oops. Don't say "let's watch this..." to the assistant without saying it to me first.

Look like Sam Worthington, now THAT might be a distraction worthy of being distracted.

Give me drugs if I ask for them. You won't corrupt me and I promise not to abuse them. If I'm asking for them I might just need them.

Whew.

Clem

There's a fair few reasons that I'm far more comfortable at my new practice than the ones I went to as a kid:

1. The reception staff. When I first called for an appointment and explained that I would need a lot of work, that I hadn't been for years and that I was extremely worried, the receptionist was very reassuring. She was sympathetic and assured me that the dentist I was seeing was lovely and they'd do all they could to make me feel at ease. They followed up on this too: they genuinely seem pleased to greet patients and welcome them warmly.

2. The waiting room. As a kid waiting rooms always felt clinical and cold, but this new one is warm and welcoming with comfortable chairs, radio and big screen TV with subtitles to keep your mind occupied. There's another smaller waiting room upstairs that's not as nice, it's for NHS patients (which I am) but my first two times I got to sit in the nicer one(!) On my third appointment I got shunted to the smaller one, even though I was actually paying for private treatment that time. Boo! But even the smaller waiting room is a tonne more welcoming and calming than most I've been in. Plus it's got beautiful stained glass windows and a lovely view. (So there, non-NHSers!)

3. The view from the dentist's chair. I really like the wide windows and being able to look out onto the old Church tower outside and see greenery. Obviously not all locations are going to have great landscapes but posters or paintings or a TV screen could make a difference here.

4. Constant reassurance. Even though I'm about the same age as my dentist and nurse they treat me with kid gloves, and rather than be embarrassed it really puts me at ease. Just a constant stream of "nearly there" and "are you okay?" and "you're doing really well" and "not long now, last bit" works wonders.

5. Absolutely no blaming! One of the reasons I stopped going in the first place was because I hated being judged. My new dentist wouldn't dream of tutting if I flinched, she tells me to put my hand up if at any time I feel discomfort.

6. Smells and sounds. I'm not sure quite how they've managed it, but you can barely hear the drill going from either waiting room, and the smells aren't too bad either. It also helps to have nice flavoured numbing gum before local anaesthetics.

I'm pretty sure I've already commented on this thread but it's been awhile and I can't sleep so thought I'd comment again!

What I Would Like:

1) I understand that it is called a "waiting room" but I don't particularly care for waiting any given period of time. Anxiety builds up rather rapidly like a pressure cooker starting at the drive to the office. Therefore, the less in-office time for building up anticipation, the better.

2) If you have TV screens, do not put on the news. This just adds to the stress levels. Stick to playing music it's far more relaxing.

3) Please no teeth posters, brochures, before/after advertisement pictures, videos, models, diagrams, etc, etc.

4) If possible, work in front of me, not from behind. I want you where I can see you.

5) Small talk is nice both prior to and during treatment. I welcome the distraction from whatever is being done to my mouth.

6) I appreciate the warnings prior to sensations. This helps me mentally prepare so that I don't interpret water, vibration, pressure, etc as painful. As keyed up as I normally am, I'm not startled as easily since I'm now expecting the sensation. Plus at the same time, it also gives me a sense of control and allows me to build my trust with you. This type of communication should begin from the get-go when you first recline the dental chair.

7) I like the reassurance of being told that I'm welcome to use a stop signal prior to each treatment.

8) Honesty is the best policy. This means that if it's going to be a potentially uncomfortable experience, I'd rather be warned first (See 6, above).

9) Timelines are always motivational no matter how long they are because it makes the experience finite.

10) I like when you acknowledge and address my reactions (even a small flinch or startle). It shows that you are paying attention and are genuinely interested and "tuned-in" to my comfort level.

I think one of the biggest things in my opion is that dentist arnt as sympathetic as they should
Be and they don't care as much as they should and during and after the appointment they should try to make sure the patient feels. As safe and and cared for as possible .

I think all of the suggestions here were excellent. I only have one to add: the treatment room. From my view I see a white ceiling or white wall. Wouldnt an interesting mural on the ceiling or wall be nice to look at/study to talke your mind off of the procedure?