A
Anna83
Junior member
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2010
- Messages
- 2
I'm gonna try to post this time. A couple months ago I found this site and worked up the nerve to write half a message but never even posted it.
Basically I am 27 years old and don't really have a dental history. I went to the dentist once when I was 5 for my kindergarten exam. I barely remember it...I only remember sitting in the chair and that's it.
I used to beg my parents to see the dentist all while I was in school. When periodic school physicals would pop up, our family doctor always waived the required dental part. My teeth were straight and white but the bottom teeth were so close together I couldn't floss them.
My parents never took me to the dentist. My own mother hadn't seen a dentist since before I was born. In fact, she just went to the dentist about 6 months ago for the first time in 30 YEARS and she just needed a routine cleaning and a small filling. That's it. My father couldn't have cared less about my dental needs or just about anything else. Anyway, long way of saying I went without dental care.
During my college years, I desperately wanted to see a dentist but I couldn't afford it. My mom's insurance coverage didn't include dental and the part time job I had only paid for tuition. I just wanted to see a dentist more or less because I knew I was supposed to. I didn't really have any big problems besides my bottom teeth being so close together I couldn't floss. There was a little pain, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
While, I graduated college and waited for a full time job that offered benefits. The job came but the insurance never did. My husband's job doesn't offer insurance either, despite the fact we BOTH work full time. I looked into Medicaid but we make just above the maximum allowed so that's also been a lost cause.
It's funny how my dental phobia has developed. I went from BEGGING my parents to PLEASE take me to the dentist all while I was growing up to being completely paralyzed by fear. I turn into a shaking, sobbing mess with just the thought of going to the dentist. No one I know understands that phobia and they all say everyone is afraid of the dentist and basically blow it off. They don't get why I shake and sob uncontrollably at the thought of going, they don't understand how I get physically sick when I think of it.
Over the last four or five years, my dental problems have seemed to explode. My wisdom teeth just started coming in, and going out, and coming in, etc starting about 4 years ago at the age of 23. There is simply no room in my mouth for them.
The most painful time took place about 3 years ago. The most painful wisdom tooth is the lower right hand side. I had a fever, constant headache, and my right side of my face actually swelled up. Despite my financial situation and my INTENSE phobia of the dentist, I sucked it up and found a dentist that uses a sliding fee scale and went the next day.
I could barely walk, let alone drive myself, because I was so terrified to go. My husband had to take the day off work to drive me. I had a panic attack in the car before we got there and another one right before I walked into the building. Everyone in the office was very nice but I couldn't stop crying. After waiting about 3 hours (it was a walk in), they called my name and I acted like it wasn't me. I was the only person at the office so I"m sure it looked funny. I finally got up, went into the room and sat in the chair, just waiting.
Then, I had a panic attack so severe, it brought on an asthma attack. I couldn't stop crying but managed to use my inhaler just in time for one of the dental assistants to come in. She kinda gave me an odd look but ignored it. She told me to sit back and they were going to do x-rays as she held that mouth looking thing in front of me. I started panicking again. Know why? Because I didn't know what to do. Keep in mind I basically had never had an xray before and always avoided watching dental scenes from TV and movies. I told her I had never been to the dentist before and she kinda rolled her eyes but told me to open my mouth and clamp down.
Ok, x-ray over and the dentist walked in and I just start sobbing. He was such a kind older man that I swear I knew as a kid or something. It was weird. I felt at ease with him but so incredibly embarassed so I kept crying. I told him I was ashamed I had never been to the dentist. I didn't have insurance growing up and I had developed such a crippling fear. I didn't have the money to afford dental care. He said it was more common that I'd think and that's why he choose to work at that particular clinic.
He looked at my x-rays and told me I had horse teeth they were so big. Surprisingly, it made me laugh. He said the problem was that my teeth were all so big that there was no room for my wisdom teeth and all FOUR WERE IMPACTED. He said he felt bad but there was nothing he could do for me there. If it were a simple extraction, yes, but I'd need to see an oral surgeon. I explained the financial situation and he said I had two options: try to get on Medicaid then be put on the oral surgeon's waiting list or work out some kind of payment plan with the ONLY oral surgeon in Illinois that works on a sliding scale. He thought it'd run me around $3-$4k. He may as well have said it'd be a trillion.
He took a look at my teeth for just a few seconds and said I really need to do a root scaling and planing. I asked if they did that there and he said yeah, but I should go to the dental school down the street instead because it'd be cheaper. I told him I'd feel more comfortable at his office and didn't care if it'd be a little more (since it was on a sliding scale) but he again referred me to the dental school. I wasn't about to argue with him and I was surprised I had said something to begin with. It's hard to explain but I felt so incredibly hurt, disappointed and rejected. I know in my head it's not the case, but I felt like he was disgusted by my teeth that he wanted to get rid of me.
Honestly, it seemed to all intensify for my fear. I did manage to gain the courage to call the dental school once and someone had a real attitude with me because they said they couldn't hear me and told me to get off the damn phone. I hung up and sobbed. A couple months went by and my husband called for me only to find out the had just finished that semester with root scaling and planing and I'd have to wait another 9 months for it. As much as I hated hearing that, I also felt it was my saving grace and I was hugely relieved.
Since then, I have become incredibly OBSESSED with my teeth. They are all I think about, which shouldn't be much of a surprise because I'm in so much constant pain. I'm even more terrified of the dentist and even the mention of teeth.
Overall, my top teeth seem to be doing ok (aside from the back top wisdome teeth)...I never really experience any pain, but every so often I think one of my top teeth gets infected. It's the same one every time and it bleeds for a while. Sometimes the gum around it gets swollen and there is intense pain. It's happened about three times in the last few years and goes away on its own after about a week.
My bottom teeth are a mess though. I am in CONSTANT PAIN 24/7 in my bottom teeth for years now. My gums have drastically receded from the front 6 teeth and I have so much plaque buildup it's ridiculous. Those teeth are super sensitive and my only relief is Advil and brushing my teeth.
The funny thing is that I've always tried to take great care of my teeth at home. I've always brushed about 4 or 5 times A DAY and I've always flossed all the teeth I was able to (basically, the top teeth). My husband has been as supportive as he can be but he doesn't understand why I'm so scared. So many others around me just dismiss it and add it to my list of phobias. I have always had issues with anxiety and crippling phobias...so much so that I've never flown in an airplane, drive over bridges, been on a boat, or had a real dentist appointment.
I'm incredibly paranoid about my teeth now and every morning I run my tongue along the inside of my mouth to make sure none have fallen out in my sleep. I continue to brush 4 or 5 times a DAY, floss where I can, and use Listerine. I have one of those vibrating toothbrushes and I LOVE it because it massages my gums and gets rid of the pain for a while.
My bottom 6 teeth are just a block of plaque in the front and back. I can't stand looking at them, but I also can't stop. They hurt so much and I think they are loose but the plaque prevents the looseness.
I have become incredibly self concious about my teeth now so I don't talk much in front of people and I feel horrible, but I don't even like kissing my husband I am so self concious. I also know that's somewhat in my head because my top teeth look fine and when I talk and smile, you can't really see the bottom teeth.
I do now have private insurance and dental just kicked in 3 months ago. We have our tax refund saved up for my dental expenses (hopefully it'll cover it) but I hid the check because even the check causes me great anxiety now.
I know I desperately NEED to see a dentist but I am overwhelmed by fear. The funny thing is that I'm NOT afraid of any pain or needles. However, I'm terrified I'll go and the dentist will say it's a lost cause. Or he can't do anything for me. And I don't want a stranger looking at my teeth. And I'm scared of the expense. And I don't want to be at the mercy of a stranger in the chair or under sedation. I was assaulted a few years ago and I think that has something to do with it. I know it won't happen again when I'm in the dentist office, but I'm scared it will even though I know that's irrational. I'm scared of panicking and sobbing the way I did before. I am so ashamed, so humiliated. I've never heard of someone my age never being to the dentist and I'm scared of the dentist yelling at me. I don't even know how to describe the other fears that go along with it.
I know this is a super long post, and I'm sure not many have read it. If you have, I really do appreciate it greatly. I feel so alone in this and am just looking for some kind of understanding.
Basically I am 27 years old and don't really have a dental history. I went to the dentist once when I was 5 for my kindergarten exam. I barely remember it...I only remember sitting in the chair and that's it.
I used to beg my parents to see the dentist all while I was in school. When periodic school physicals would pop up, our family doctor always waived the required dental part. My teeth were straight and white but the bottom teeth were so close together I couldn't floss them.
My parents never took me to the dentist. My own mother hadn't seen a dentist since before I was born. In fact, she just went to the dentist about 6 months ago for the first time in 30 YEARS and she just needed a routine cleaning and a small filling. That's it. My father couldn't have cared less about my dental needs or just about anything else. Anyway, long way of saying I went without dental care.
During my college years, I desperately wanted to see a dentist but I couldn't afford it. My mom's insurance coverage didn't include dental and the part time job I had only paid for tuition. I just wanted to see a dentist more or less because I knew I was supposed to. I didn't really have any big problems besides my bottom teeth being so close together I couldn't floss. There was a little pain, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
While, I graduated college and waited for a full time job that offered benefits. The job came but the insurance never did. My husband's job doesn't offer insurance either, despite the fact we BOTH work full time. I looked into Medicaid but we make just above the maximum allowed so that's also been a lost cause.
It's funny how my dental phobia has developed. I went from BEGGING my parents to PLEASE take me to the dentist all while I was growing up to being completely paralyzed by fear. I turn into a shaking, sobbing mess with just the thought of going to the dentist. No one I know understands that phobia and they all say everyone is afraid of the dentist and basically blow it off. They don't get why I shake and sob uncontrollably at the thought of going, they don't understand how I get physically sick when I think of it.
Over the last four or five years, my dental problems have seemed to explode. My wisdom teeth just started coming in, and going out, and coming in, etc starting about 4 years ago at the age of 23. There is simply no room in my mouth for them.
The most painful time took place about 3 years ago. The most painful wisdom tooth is the lower right hand side. I had a fever, constant headache, and my right side of my face actually swelled up. Despite my financial situation and my INTENSE phobia of the dentist, I sucked it up and found a dentist that uses a sliding fee scale and went the next day.
I could barely walk, let alone drive myself, because I was so terrified to go. My husband had to take the day off work to drive me. I had a panic attack in the car before we got there and another one right before I walked into the building. Everyone in the office was very nice but I couldn't stop crying. After waiting about 3 hours (it was a walk in), they called my name and I acted like it wasn't me. I was the only person at the office so I"m sure it looked funny. I finally got up, went into the room and sat in the chair, just waiting.
Then, I had a panic attack so severe, it brought on an asthma attack. I couldn't stop crying but managed to use my inhaler just in time for one of the dental assistants to come in. She kinda gave me an odd look but ignored it. She told me to sit back and they were going to do x-rays as she held that mouth looking thing in front of me. I started panicking again. Know why? Because I didn't know what to do. Keep in mind I basically had never had an xray before and always avoided watching dental scenes from TV and movies. I told her I had never been to the dentist before and she kinda rolled her eyes but told me to open my mouth and clamp down.
Ok, x-ray over and the dentist walked in and I just start sobbing. He was such a kind older man that I swear I knew as a kid or something. It was weird. I felt at ease with him but so incredibly embarassed so I kept crying. I told him I was ashamed I had never been to the dentist. I didn't have insurance growing up and I had developed such a crippling fear. I didn't have the money to afford dental care. He said it was more common that I'd think and that's why he choose to work at that particular clinic.
He looked at my x-rays and told me I had horse teeth they were so big. Surprisingly, it made me laugh. He said the problem was that my teeth were all so big that there was no room for my wisdom teeth and all FOUR WERE IMPACTED. He said he felt bad but there was nothing he could do for me there. If it were a simple extraction, yes, but I'd need to see an oral surgeon. I explained the financial situation and he said I had two options: try to get on Medicaid then be put on the oral surgeon's waiting list or work out some kind of payment plan with the ONLY oral surgeon in Illinois that works on a sliding scale. He thought it'd run me around $3-$4k. He may as well have said it'd be a trillion.
He took a look at my teeth for just a few seconds and said I really need to do a root scaling and planing. I asked if they did that there and he said yeah, but I should go to the dental school down the street instead because it'd be cheaper. I told him I'd feel more comfortable at his office and didn't care if it'd be a little more (since it was on a sliding scale) but he again referred me to the dental school. I wasn't about to argue with him and I was surprised I had said something to begin with. It's hard to explain but I felt so incredibly hurt, disappointed and rejected. I know in my head it's not the case, but I felt like he was disgusted by my teeth that he wanted to get rid of me.
Honestly, it seemed to all intensify for my fear. I did manage to gain the courage to call the dental school once and someone had a real attitude with me because they said they couldn't hear me and told me to get off the damn phone. I hung up and sobbed. A couple months went by and my husband called for me only to find out the had just finished that semester with root scaling and planing and I'd have to wait another 9 months for it. As much as I hated hearing that, I also felt it was my saving grace and I was hugely relieved.
Since then, I have become incredibly OBSESSED with my teeth. They are all I think about, which shouldn't be much of a surprise because I'm in so much constant pain. I'm even more terrified of the dentist and even the mention of teeth.
Overall, my top teeth seem to be doing ok (aside from the back top wisdome teeth)...I never really experience any pain, but every so often I think one of my top teeth gets infected. It's the same one every time and it bleeds for a while. Sometimes the gum around it gets swollen and there is intense pain. It's happened about three times in the last few years and goes away on its own after about a week.
My bottom teeth are a mess though. I am in CONSTANT PAIN 24/7 in my bottom teeth for years now. My gums have drastically receded from the front 6 teeth and I have so much plaque buildup it's ridiculous. Those teeth are super sensitive and my only relief is Advil and brushing my teeth.
The funny thing is that I've always tried to take great care of my teeth at home. I've always brushed about 4 or 5 times A DAY and I've always flossed all the teeth I was able to (basically, the top teeth). My husband has been as supportive as he can be but he doesn't understand why I'm so scared. So many others around me just dismiss it and add it to my list of phobias. I have always had issues with anxiety and crippling phobias...so much so that I've never flown in an airplane, drive over bridges, been on a boat, or had a real dentist appointment.
I'm incredibly paranoid about my teeth now and every morning I run my tongue along the inside of my mouth to make sure none have fallen out in my sleep. I continue to brush 4 or 5 times a DAY, floss where I can, and use Listerine. I have one of those vibrating toothbrushes and I LOVE it because it massages my gums and gets rid of the pain for a while.
My bottom 6 teeth are just a block of plaque in the front and back. I can't stand looking at them, but I also can't stop. They hurt so much and I think they are loose but the plaque prevents the looseness.
I have become incredibly self concious about my teeth now so I don't talk much in front of people and I feel horrible, but I don't even like kissing my husband I am so self concious. I also know that's somewhat in my head because my top teeth look fine and when I talk and smile, you can't really see the bottom teeth.
I do now have private insurance and dental just kicked in 3 months ago. We have our tax refund saved up for my dental expenses (hopefully it'll cover it) but I hid the check because even the check causes me great anxiety now.
I know I desperately NEED to see a dentist but I am overwhelmed by fear. The funny thing is that I'm NOT afraid of any pain or needles. However, I'm terrified I'll go and the dentist will say it's a lost cause. Or he can't do anything for me. And I don't want a stranger looking at my teeth. And I'm scared of the expense. And I don't want to be at the mercy of a stranger in the chair or under sedation. I was assaulted a few years ago and I think that has something to do with it. I know it won't happen again when I'm in the dentist office, but I'm scared it will even though I know that's irrational. I'm scared of panicking and sobbing the way I did before. I am so ashamed, so humiliated. I've never heard of someone my age never being to the dentist and I'm scared of the dentist yelling at me. I don't even know how to describe the other fears that go along with it.
I know this is a super long post, and I'm sure not many have read it. If you have, I really do appreciate it greatly. I feel so alone in this and am just looking for some kind of understanding.