Back to square one

Help

I am just looking for some support from people. NOt anyone that will judge me. I have a terrible fear of dentists and doctors. I had bad experiences when I was a child. My wisdom tooth is partially in and under my molar. Both are decaying. I am petrified to have them taken out. I am in my thirties and I hear nothing but horror stories. I am petrified of dying or getting an infection and not being around to care for my family. I have an appointment set for a dentist to refer me to an oral surgeon. This fear is consuming me. I cannot eat or sleep and always think the worst. I had an appointment years ago to have my teeth out and cancelled to to FEAR. I hate myself for being this way and I am so ashamed of myself. Thanks for listening.

Re: Help

Hi there and welcome! You have come to the right place where you will not be judged! I am so thankful I came here a year and a half ago when I felt the same fear and anxiety as you. I am in my 30's and had what was left of my 4 wisdom teeth out in march of last year along with 6 other teeth. Do you know what the best part of all of that was...I lived and can talk about it now. I feared the worst and usually do in every situation but we always fear the worst and things end up always working out in the end. I encourage you to read through all of the stories and journals on this site because they are so helpful. They will give you the courage to make that appointment, keep it, and live to tell all about it.
Many hugs to you

Re: Help

hi there queen of fear

i fully sympathise with your situation,when i was told last xmas there was no option but to remove my wisdom tooth which had grown into the molar next to it causing it to break i was in pieces.after bad extractions as a kid with gas,this put a whole dark cloud over my life.It literally took over every day and night i would be constantly thinking the worse
They told me it would have to be a surgical extraction in hospital under general anaesthetic,never having one of these either,i continually said to everyone i may not be here much longer,i will be the 1% that will have complications and never wake up and be here 4 my kids anymore.Add to boot my needle phobia i was completely screwed.

That fear was far far worse than the procedure believe me.I went in on 29th July to hospital as a day patient,i know i had to face these demons even tho i did feel like running out when i got there,but i faced it,and came out the other side

it really was not as bad as i had imagined.I think even with my needle phobia it was the best option for me as i doubt i could have gone through with it while being awake,all in all i had 4 teeth removed and was amazed that i had no bleeding afterwards or any pain whatsoever,never even needed to take any pain relief that they gave me.
I had 8months of constant fretting from when i was told it needed doing to the actual day of procedure (thats uk nhs for you lol) and i swear on my life the way that fear made me feel was 100% worse than having the actual teeth out
I hope that you can be able to face your fear like I did,and then you too will wonder why you suffered so much
all the best

Re: Help

Thank you to the two wonderful people that replied to me. Your kindness is appreciated. reading your posts made me cry because I feel like I am not so alone. The fear consumes me as well and day and night I feel like that is all I think about. I keep reading on the internet that the older you are the more difficult it can be to get them out. That of course heightens my anxiety even more. I am afraid the gums will become infected before I get them out since I read on a website that it can happen and you can get an infection in the brain. You can also have cysts or tumors on the gums. Made me feel even worse. I am even going to the extent of writing a letter to my son just in case something happens. I hate being consumed by negative thoughts but they are so powerful that they are tough to beat. I go to the dentist September 14th for x-rays and I am petrified. I have to get a valium before I even go. Sad isn't it? Then I will have to go to an oral surgeon for a consultation. If they tell me anything I think I will pass out. I told them I cannot even know if they will be difficult to get out because if I do I more than likely will freeze and not go. The more I know the worse my fear becomes. My chest tightens and I can feel myself getting teary eyed. I just feel like I do not know where to put myself, like I am the only one in the world that feels thsi way. Every other site has such terrible stories on it. I am greatful I found the support here. Thanks for listening and bless you both for taking time out to make me feel better. It is hard to break free of the fear. I hope with all your help and support I can do so. THANK YOU.

Re: Help

Queen of fear, you are in far more danger from leaving infected teeth untreated than from removing them. In the USA you will always be given 'worst case scenarios' because it is such a litigious society and dentists/surgeons want to be able to record that they have covered all the bases just to cover their back in the unlikely event that anything were to go wrong...this is not however good for the patient, especially the anxious patient.

You will be fine....and wish you'd done it sooner, at least you don't have to sit around on an NHS waiting list and you can just go and get it over and done with.

Stop reading wisdom teeth horrors on the internet or by asking people....some people find it way easier than all their friends horror stories led them to believe (me included) and then feel a bit daft for wasting so much energy worrying about something which is amazingly routine in the 'operation scheme of things'.
Then afterwards promise yourself you will tell only reassuring stories about the experience to calm others which you will be able to do as your experience will have been much better than you expected.

Re: Help

hi queen of fear!!

how old are the people you're hearing the horror stories from? i myself haven't had my wisdom teeth removed, but a bunch of my friends have in the past couple of years, and they said it was totally fine and they had no idea what they were so scared of! i feel like dental technology has gotten much better since decades past, so while older people will say wisdom teeth removal is the worst ever, you will find, i think, that it's a much better procedure now.

as far as all the infections and stuff: they are extremely unlikely, but rest assured that even if you DID get them, they CAN fix those. they aren't these incurable problems that you're likely to die from; just keep a close eye on your mouth and if anything seems out of sorts, you can go to an emergency dentist.

i also hate myself for my needle phobia. but i've found that the more i loathe myself for it, the harder it is for me to get injections and dental work done. maybe try to think of yourself as a recovering dental phobe instead of someone worthy of hatred; after all, by coming here you ARE trying to overcome your fear!

-- Lorelei

Re: Help

The best advice I can give that was given to me by so many people on this board was to stay off the internet looking up all the "what ifs". I was a google addict and looked every possible issue I could about teeth and read all of the horror stories. The truth is that such a small percentage of people have complications that the chance of anything happening to you is next to none. Like another member said they always have a way to prevent and/or help things if a complication was to arise. The worst of all of this is the worry and anxiety you are placing on yourself. Every time I feel the anxiety and worry before an appointment, I always end up being mad at myself after the appointment for spending so much time worrying when I could have spent the time doing something I love...SHOP!

Re: Help

Hi queenoffear

There is little I can add to the excellent advice and support you are being given. It takes a massive amount of courage to face your fears and move forward. Dental anxiety is very common and widespread.

I work in a great dental office and can tell you that the science of dentistry has made huge strides in the past few years. I can also promise you that you have suffered much more pain from enduring this than from any dental treatment. There is help and hope. You are not a wimp or weak. We all have things we fear, it is truly an equal opportunity employer that is always hiring.

You can do this. Just talking about it is a huge step. Be proud of yourself. Getting a brain abscess from an infected tooth or teeth is very very rare. You would have better odds of getting trampled by an elephant wearing a tutu riding a skateboard during a blizzard in Hawaii.

Dental infections tend to stay localized and not spread. Definitely stay away from "Dr. Google" not reliable information.

One of the dentists in our office removed an infected wisdom tooth in an 89 year old lady last week. It was very easy and pain free. Age does not mean the procedure will be difficult. You will be fine.

If you are very anxious there is nothing wrong with asking for an anti-anxiety medication to take before your appointment, very common and not unusual.

If you would like some tools and techniques we use at our office, PM me.

Blessings

IV sedation

As you know I have to see an oral surgeon to have wisdom teeth out. I am petrified. I keep hearing that IV sedation is not pain free. Is this true? My significant other harped on it to the point last night where I wanted to just get out of the house or boot him out. He made me feel awful. He knows how I get yet he kept going on and on and on. He has a could care less attitude and not much bothers him. Must be nice. He keeps telling me I will feel pain but I will not care because I will have valium. Why make someone feel worse? Especially someone who you have seen first hand how absolutely terrified they are? I feel like running in the other direction now after I thought I was making a few baby steps by getting some support here. Can anyone here offer some insight and their experience with it. Thank you.

Re: IV sedation

You won't feel ANYTHING. Even with IV sedation they will use novocaine once you are sedated. Stop worrying..and tell your husband to shut up.

I had all my teeth pulled with IV sedation and never felt a thing.

Re: IV sedation

TerrifiedWoman said:

You won't feel ANYTHING. Even with IV sedation they will use novocaine once you are sedated. Stop worrying..and tell your husband to shut up.

I had all my teeth pulled with IV sedation and never felt a thing.

Click to expand...

As Terrified Woman said, you won't feel anything. But as a bonus, with IV, you won't remember anything.

Re: IV sedation

I had all my wisdom teeth out done under IV Sedation, you will NOT feel anything, you'll remember them putting the needle in your hand, then they'll tell you to count backwards, and probably the next thing you'll remember is waking up in your own bed going "WTF JUST HAPPENED?"

Re: IV sedation

Thanks for everyone for the replies. I appreciate all your kindness and all of your help. You eased my mind a lot. THANK YOU.

Re: IV sedation

Just chiming in!
You will not feel a thing. You will be in a sleepy state, you might wake up a moment or two, but you WILL NOT FEEL ANYTHING!!!!
When a dentist uses IV sedation, they also use a local....so you are really are painfree. Don't worry, they don't give you the Novacaine until you are in sleepyland from the sedation.
Don't talk to your S.O. about it anymore......you don't need anyone scaring you!
BTW,
's,
Jen

Re: IV sedation

IV sedation is very very safe and proven. It is the best option for very long appointments or where multiple teeth are being worked on. You should have almost no memory of the procedure and have no pain. You will sleep for the remaining part of the day and be fine the next day.

Blessings

Terrified

Can anyone offer a few words of encouragement to try and help. I have an appointment for an x-ray and limited exam tomorrow. My hands have ben shaking all day and I have been in tears most of the day. I have no support system at home. In fact I was so annoyed earlier by some comments made by my significant other that I told him the next thing he will hear from me is a dial tone. Yes, I hung up on him. I just could not take it. Why he continues to bring it up when he knows how I feel is beyond me. I actually asked him to go out for a while and leave me alone. I do have some valium to take before the appointment but I highly doubt it will help me. I am supposed to have a few teeth out eventually. I know they are going to bug me to get all the wisdom teeth out but I can only do what I can and will not be forced into something I am not ready to do. I cannot drive myself because of the vailum but I know I would feel better being by myself. Just seems like everyone around me is making me feel worse. My chest is tight, my head aches and my hands are shaking. I hate feeling this way but cannot help it. I am ashamed of myself for acting this way. It is consuming my every move and my every thought. Thanks for listening to me.

Re: Terrified

Don't cry. It will be alright you see. It's never what you imagine and no dentist will force you into anything.

The xray and the limited exam are just that, a picture and them looking in your mouth. That is it. Nothing more nothing less, and even if they ask to do mare, YOU are in control what they do.

When i went in for my first appointment in 4 years i burst into tears and i shook so much that my sister thought i was going to have a panick attack. But it was ok.

In regards to the wisdom teeth, it is something you need to discuss with your dentist. Ask anything and everything you feel you need to know, because knowing exactly what needs to be done, and how it will be done will bring a LOT of ease to your mind. And in the end you will feel proud of going through with it.

You do not need to feel ashamed of anything. Everyone here has been there, and most managed to conquer their fears. In time you will too. Just know you will always have support from us.

As for you significant other it is something he needs to understand. I'm sure even he is afraid of something, and he should support you for being so brave. Because you really are brave.

Try not to think too much about what will happen. Baby steps. Just baby steps.

Re: Terrified

Your significant other needs a poke in the eye! The dial tone was a very good idea if he can't give you the support you need.
But men are often a bit rubbish at knowing what to say in situations like this.
Might not mean he doesn't care, but is just worried he'll say the wrong thing.
He still needs a poke in the eye though.........

Nothing that can happen during today's modern painless dental treatments can be as bad as you're feeling right now.
You can do this, and people on here care and wish you well.

Good luck!!!

Re: Terrified

What Plumcore says is true....nothing is going to happen that you are not happy with....you are in control..it just doesn't feel like it. Remember if you don't like the dentist when you meet them, if they don't make you feel just a teeny bit more comfortable than you expected, then you can just leave...you don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with.
Don't fight the fear too much...let it show and be honest and ask how they can help you cope with treatment.
Wisdom teeth are only removed in UK these days if they are causing problems or if it is highly likely that they will in future.

You may want to skip the valium so you can keep control better but it's your decision.

Go along knowing if they don't make you feel at least a little better then you need never go back...hopefully they'll be nice and kind and you'll decide you want to follow through.

Re: Terrified

Thanks to everyone who wrote for the support! I appreciate it. Please tell me they are not sticking any tools in my mouth because that is something I WILL NOT let them do. I do not know why the dentist has to do all that crap then give the x-rays to an oral surgeon. Then you have to go there for a consult and back again to have the teeth out. That is just to much for me. Three different trips, different times to get anxious and more appointments to back out of. I actually asked my significant other to leave the house for a bit so I can be alone. He does have fears as well so I told him how would he like it if I left him on outside on the roof top of the tallest building in the world without a net beneath him? That is exactly how I feel right now. The fear is paralyzing me. The night is just dragging. Thanks to everyone for your kind words. The support helps ease my mind a little. Bless all of you who wrote.

I don't drink but boy do I feel like having a glass of wine to take this anxiety away, if only a little.