Colin's support thread

pinkyminx... I have the same experience when I go.
I can get there, I can venture into the dentist's room, when I smell the medical deturgents I can keep my composure, holding my fear and apprehension.
Then I sweat and breath irratically when I get into the chair, surrounded by the tools, trays, my compsosure disintigrates. The last time I had an extraction I also sobbed, yelled and twisted positions, sometimes foetal. Like a scared kid with now where to run really. I could'nt hold myself dispite the kit gloves and passionate manner of those trying to treat me. I was ringing with sweat and managed to get through the extraction between my episodes.
I look back at my dental experiences with person shame and embarrasment, I know I shouldn't but I do.
That was ten years ago and since then my teeth have gone. Fourteen are broken, black and stubbed to the gum. Salt water mouth washes replaced the painful brushing and believe me, brushing gave alot of pain and I had to quit useing a brush, when I had to take Paracetamol prior to brushing.

Recent pain from one tooth has given me an absess, forcing me to visit the dentist. Knowing I had to go and severe pain being the obvious motivator for me, I sat there knowing they would only inspect the shocking view I presented them, so I was confident, less stressed. My abcess has to be cured first with anti-biotics, giving me time to syke myself up for the extractions I know I have to have. I discovered your thread whilst looking for anti-anxiety advice because the dentist I'm with wont use or didn't offer any advise other than to farm me off to a hospital for a knock out. That scares me more so I'm looking at Diazepam, one hour before my appointment to save me from flipping out again. It looks like I'll have long visits and perhaps many of them to secure dentures and fix the few that will remain to help to secure them.
I go next Tuesday, if my infection has gone by then. Strange how one part of me is relieved whilst the other is trying to run the fear game, trying to endorse the phobia.
I need the diazepam to blacken out the fear and anxiety side. Remembering the pain and the absess may not be enough to hold my appointment when the infection goes so I need a relaxant to ensure I co-operate without an episode.
I'm typing this with a red lump under my eye and a raised cheek... It could be worse. I could be living in the middle ages and knocking on deaths door, or looking at barbaric removal. But our dental progession is still not enough for me and I don't think the dentist will mind I take one prior to treatment.
I'll ring and ask before anyone comments that advice... see what they say, but it's common practice in many fields so I don't forsee a problem with self adminstering 10mg. I think it'll make the difference for me now I'm aware of anti-anxiety drug useage.

I hope everything goes alright for you and I know how you feel, in and out of the chair. You have my best wishes.

Re: Horrendous experience without!

Colin said:

pinkyminx... I have the same experience when I go.
I can get there, I can venture into the dentist's room, when I smell the medical deturgents I can keep my composure, holding my fear and apprehension.
Then I sweat and breath irratically when I get into the chair, surrounded by the tools, trays, my compsosure disintigrates. The last time I had an extraction I also sobbed, yelled and twisted positions, sometimes foetal. Like a scared kid with now where to run really. I could'nt hold myself dispite the kit gloves and passionate manner of those trying to treat me. I was ringing with sweat and managed to get through the extraction between my episodes.
I look back at my dental experiences with person shame and embarrasment, I know I shouldn't but I do.
That was ten years ago and since then my teeth have gone. Fourteen are broken, black and stubbed to the gum. Salt water mouth washes replaced the painful brushing and believe me, brushing gave alot of pain and I had to quit useing a brush, when I had to take Paracetamol prior to brushing.

Recent pain from one tooth has given me an absess, forcing me to visit the dentist. Knowing I had to go and severe pain being the obvious motivator for me, I sat there knowing they would only inspect the shocking view I presented them, so I was confident, less stressed. My abcess has to be cured first with anti-biotics, giving me time to syke myself up for the extractions I know I have to have. I discovered your thread whilst looking for anti-anxiety advice because the dentist I'm with wont use or didn't offer any advise other than to farm me off to a hospital for a knock out. That scares me more so I'm looking at Diazepam, one hour before my appointment to save me from flipping out again. It looks like I'll have long visits and perhaps many of them to secure dentures and fix the few that will remain to help to secure them.
I go next Tuesday, if my infection has gone by then. Strange how one part of me is relieved whilst the other is trying to run the fear game, trying to endorse the phobia.
I need the diazepam to blacken out the fear and anxiety side. Remembering the pain and the absess may not be enough to hold my appointment when the infection goes so I need a relaxant to ensure I co-operate without an episode.
I'm typing this with a red lump under my eye and a raised cheek... It could be worse. I could be living in the middle ages and knocking on deaths door, or looking at barbaric removal. But our dental progession is still not enough for me and I don't think the dentist will mind I take one prior to treatment.
I'll ring and ask before anyone comments that advice... see what they say, but it's common practice in many fields so I don't forsee a problem with self adminstering 10mg. I think it'll make the difference for me now I'm aware of anti-anxiety drug useage.

I hope everything goes alright for you and I know how you feel, in and out of the chair. You have my best wishes.

Click to expand...

Colin, have you thought about IV sedation? it was THE only way i could have 2 of my abcessed teeth removed and a front filling done. I am petrified of being worked on whilst i am aware of whats going on, and for me, IV was heaven! Once its administered, you will be out of it in seconds, and you have no recollection at all of any of the procedure. You feel like you are walking on air when you start to get back in the land of the living, even though you'd feel saw in the gums and jaws from extractions, but its nothing like injection pain and phobias of a dentist! I wont have anything done without IV and when i need to go visit the dentist next, i am definately asking for it.
I wish you well and hope you manage to have your teeth sorted very soon x

I've moved this into your own thread Colin as Pinkyminx wasn't talking about being unsedated and you've already had a reply addressed directly to your long post...so to prevent further 'hijack' of Pinkyminx's thread I have split yours out.

Thankyou for the clarification Brit. I didn't realise.

@michiemoo
I am aways aware of the enviroment and even though I lose partial control in the chair, it scares me to think I wouldn't be aware of what is happening whilst being asleep, it's not about mistrust of people with me but when I'm awake, I can communicate, well almost. But I'm aware.
I certainly see the benifits though and will talk to the dentist on Tuesday about it if I loose my nerve or I'm unable to use anti-anxiety drugs. It's an option I'll consider and like you said... "Once its administered, you will be out of it in seconds, and you have no recollection."
I'd love to wake up and have all over with, without flash backs and the threat of prolonged treatment which is what I'm opting for. I guess I'm being irrational with my choice of treatment considering my phobia.
I'll read more about the IV proceedure and update after my appointment.
Thankyou.

It may also be about 'making friends with the dentist and trusting the dentist' but for your immediate problem it sounds like i/v sedation would help you cope much better.

Been on here too long probably but for me the sight of a dental instrument imparts an almost neutral feeling but who is wielding it is far from neutral....your descriptions sound like dentistry is sth which is 'done to you' with your 'bare consent only' rather than sth you 'elect to do' .....you may find sharing past experiences helps you evaluate the root cause of your environmental fears - which may go back to childhood experiences of lack of control and unnecessary pain maybe. It may also just be that your modern day experiences are less than ideal in terms of the dentist-patient relationship and that is what prevents your being able to respond in a calmer fashion.

Have a look at the Common Fears section, the dental environment is one of the ones covered.

Well my appointment came. I took 10mg of diazepam an hour before my visit and felt fine. I traveled on the bus overly chatting away to any stranger and sat in the waiting area without showing signs of nerves or anxiety. When I sat in the chair, the effects of the drug dropped, like someone threw a bucket of cold water over me and my fear and nervousness over rode the power of the anti-anxiety drug.
I learnt that the use of anti-anxiety drugs just make it easier for the nervous, not the phobic, especially for a phobic like me.
I did manage to go through the treatment whilst makeing niose and flapping myself about. I only had two of the worst teeth out and the dentist left in half a root. He said to drill it may cause damage to my sinus and it would work itself out. He has refered me to a center that sedates, but to be honest I need IV because I simply cannot handle this anymore. I left that place shaking and in pain with no repeat prescription for any anti-biotics to ensure the infection doesn't come back. I'm very scared because I no longer know what to do whilst waiting. I feel deflated, depressed and wouldn't have been bothered if I didn't woke up this morning.
I'm thinking of bypassing his referal because sedation at another center would be the same type of drug I administered, which had no effect on my phobia at all. Even if I'd taken 20 - 30mg, I cannot see how it would help.
Untill the holes seal, I cannot salt wash and he knocked one of my bottom teeth and that's playing up this morning.
I want the nightmare to be over and see no clear solution. There's a week for waiting for a doctors appointment where I live and I don't know how long referals take. In the mean time I'm still taking pain killers. I'm also taking the other 10mg of diaepam today because I am so depressed about the situation I've put myself in. I also have to go to work and don't want to show my state to my co-workers or the customers. I like to leave my mood at the door if you know what I mean.

Colin said:

Thankyou for the clarification Brit. I didn't realise.

@michiemoo
I am aways aware of the enviroment and even though I lose partial control in the chair, it scares me to think I wouldn't be aware of what is happening whilst being asleep, it's not about mistrust of people with me but when I'm awake, I can communicate, well almost. But I'm aware.
I certainly see the benifits though and will talk to the dentist on Tuesday about it if I loose my nerve or I'm unable to use anti-anxiety drugs. It's an option I'll consider and like you said... "Once its administered, you will be out of it in seconds, and you have no recollection."
I'd love to wake up and have all over with, without flash backs and the threat of prolonged treatment which is what I'm opting for. I guess I'm being irrational with my choice of treatment considering my phobia.
I'll read more about the IV proceedure and update after my appointment.
Thankyou.

Click to expand...

Hello Colin
When IV is inserted, you relax to the point you dont care or really notice what is going on around you, but are FULLY conscious the whole time, you remember nothing, some say they have hazy memory of some noise or even the dentist tlaking etc, but no pain, no panic, no nothing !!! i promise you once that stuff goes into your system you really dont know anything until you come round properly, mine lasted around 40 mins, the needle went in, i was asked to think of a nice thought, and before i could even think "oooh what shall i think of to calm me" it was over !!! i was wlaking out of the dentist, my husband telling me i had been kissing the dentist, and the assistant HAHAHA yes really !! and apaprently i was telling my husband what the dentsist did and how it never hurt, even though he had been cutting through my gums to remove 2 teeth that were awfully impacted and abcessed. I FELT NOTHING and remember nothing. thats the beauty of IV sedation, you arent asleep, you just feel like you are. i really hope it helps you x

Sorry for the delay, but I'm not to comfortable with this forum and my mood hasn't been very good over the last couple of days, but today is a good day as the pain and anger has gone, a little sore and still feeling vunerable, but on the whole way better than the other day. On other forums I cannot shut up. Anyway, thankyou for the replies.

@ Brit... I cannot remember where and when my phobia started so I think it was at an early age and I've blocked the memory, but I have different experiences that I do remember and thankyou for the link. It gave me insight and many bells rang whilst reading them. I have experiences I can play like video and sometimes they'll run without me pressing the play button, especially when I think about toothache and prior to apointment.

@michiemoo... I am now looking into IV. I thought that IV was total sedation where you sleep but that's general anithetic isn't it. Where I've been refered, I think they sedate, but I'm not sure if they do IV, I'll check and try it because I'm definatly not compatible with anti-anxiety. It's good to know that you have no memory of your visit michiemoo, no play back involved then ay and I'm very happy you got through it. It must be nice to laugh with your husband about the experience, that part really gave me an optimistic vision. To be honest it seems a little to good to be true, IV. To be awake and aware, yet to be out of it and not to be bothered about it. Your post helped, hopefully I can post again here with the same story. I'll definatly post again when I hear from the referal.
Thanks guy's

I haven't posted here for a while and wanted to add to my journal as I went through my treatments. But found it to much of a reminder when posting or viewing so thought I'd skip to the finale. There's always a finale isn't there. No matter how grand or trivial, there's always a finale.
My phobia deprived me of a healthy smile, it gave me no confidence on top of the fears and pains from bad teeth, which over the year got worse. Which in it self escalated my problems. A pot of ingredients that was heavy to carry to say the least, like the over flowing porrage pot, in the childrens classic and it never tasted very good. I was transfered from dentist to dentist to see which was more patient than the last but to no avail. The last dentist to there credit, was very good and was intended for children only. But still I took unauthorised medication prior to going, something to lift my spirits, but it always washed away when I got into the room. It was always like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over me. With that perticular dentist, I had four visits before they gased me enough to give me a tempory filling and even then I gripping the chair like I was about to eject from an aircraft in it. Not funny at all dispite the fact it was a form of laughing gas. Fifteen teeth had to be removed and the rest filled was there recommendation when they first examined me. After the tempory filling they suggested that I should be put under for the treatment, after which I was to return for those filling and plates. I nervously accepted and they made me an appointment for the hospital, which only took a couple of weeks. I was suprised how fast the hospital responded.

First was the pre-op.
Wieght, hieght, blood pressure and little cotton buds on large sticks, to check for MSRA and the like. A short interview about allergies and basic health before the, "what would you like done?" question.
Like they didn't know.!
I explained why I was there and discovered they where unaware of my phobia, only the fact that I was to be knocked out for some extractions. I was suprised at that. But figured that only basic information was passed that was necessary for the job, so quickly filled the nurse in on my fears. She listened as I droned on and made a call whilst I reflected into space my experiences. "When you arrive on the agreed day, you'll be the first to be done, unless a diabetic is on the list" she informed as she waved her hand in front of my face. Obviously I was oblivious to everything but my own vioce. I was annoyed at myself for being so ignorant, how could I have missed that call or the fact that she may have said something to make the call, but I wanted to be clear about why I was haveing to be put to sleep for something others would call, trivial treatment. But she was understanding and gave me full details of what to expect.

After the pro-op I waited for the big day. It was a major thing for me and I kept telling myself "your gunna be asleep", "you won't feel a thing". But the anxiety and stress still built up. I put myself into work, my art and made every effort to block out the day, which I was already good at, but excelled at over the few weeks I had to wait.

I had a bed booked for the day and smoked like a trooper outside prior to going into the hospital. I was admitted, given a gown to wear along with a red wrist band and sat in the chair on the ward with others, waiting. The others chatted while I sat there shivering and silent. Strange how you still sweat when your cold. I felt slimy to the touch and just smiled at the others patients when they tried to engage me into their conversations. I was aware of myself so much. I felt like a neon sign and was in no mood for small talk.
When the nurse came round I was given a beaker with some tables in it. One was an anti-sickness pill because I recalled being sick after my appendix where removed at thirteen, which I informed the nurse at my pre-op. Two where pain killers she explained, but she didn't tell me about the last one. I didn't ask as I downed the lot with water to get them out of the way so I could be left alone. An anethatist interviewed us one at a time asking roughly the same questions that I answered on my pre-op. By the time the surgeon, who was to perform the treatment came along I guess that the other table was for anti-anxiety because everything became visually sharper and I could feel my spirits rise a little. He pulled the curtains round and gave me a chat, informing me of what HE wanted to do.
"Sod that" I though. I want my life long nightmare to be over. No going back for plates, no fillings. I wanted this man to understand that now I wanted total extraction, which he was annoyed at and he tried to convince me that keeping the remainder of my teeth was in my better interest. He said there was a small chance that I could lose sensation in my tonge and suffer numbness of the lips for life if it went wrong, but I wasn't bothered about any of that.
"No bloody way mate, I want them out", I demanded.
I signed my name on the dotted line and he rushed off, pulling the curtain back behind him like Batman's cape. I knew he was angrey at my choice but I was there, I had an oppertunity and wasn't going to waste it. An oppertunity to be free of my phobia, my fears even at the cost of all my teeth. I sat ridged, I'd stopped sweating and didn't bother to open the curtains after the surgeon left, being content to ignore everyone in favour of solitude. I could here them laughing and talking. But I couldn't see them or the clock which I knew I'd be watching every few seconds.

The nurse peered around and asked me to follow her. As we walked she told me we where going to the opperating thearte and my mind was doing overtime. My legs twisted several times and she held my arm to stabilise me, I was hollow, sick inside. I felt like I was going to be shot, not that I know what that sensations like. Why they couldn't have use a dammed chair I don't know, but by the time I was in the room I was trembling with fear. I looked at the anethatist who was filling seringes as I got onto the trolley. My gown stuck to my clammy skin and I was thinking of so many excuses to get out of the situation. I knew it had to be done and I was stiffed lipped incase I gave one that altered the course of my surgery. "It has to be done" I kept telling myself over and over. By the time they hooked me up to the monitors, my right leg was shaking uncontrolably and I tried to hold it down with my hands but was constantly told to relax by the nurse. Easier said than done I thought.
I glanced at the monitor and my heart beated at 125 beats a minute. The number underneath was also red but I couldn't read it fast enough before the nurse blocked my view while grabbing my left arm, holding it out for the other nusre to put a needle in it whilst I was encouraged to pump my hand to raise the vien. I was such a coward, burying my head into her back and armpit while the anethatist quickly hooked up one of the seringes. I felt my arm go cold, very cold and the nurse pushed me onto my back while I was told to beath normally as the other dropped a mask over my face.
"Think of something happy." she said. But I couldn't think of anything happy, nothing at all. My mind was in confusion just trying to think of anything at all.
"Colin" I heard... "Your ok now" as I snapped my eyes open. I thought I'd just blinked. I'm sure I just blinked, but then I couldn't feel my lower face.
"It's all done now" the nurse said, "Your going back to the ward".
But I was in exactly the same place, still alert of my situation and she was standing in exactly the same place. I asked if had it been all done, the extractions and she just smiled and nodded "All done" as somebody gave a push from the rear.

I never imagined such liberation, such happiness as the trolley banged through and out of those doors. I raised my both my thumbs and mumbled "Thanks" into the air in the hope that who ever was behind heard me. I again raised both thumbs when I returned to the ward to those I was happy to ignore before. I think they understood. At least I hoped they did.
I bleed only for a short while, suprisingly. And was out of hospital within a few hours totally toothless, but I didn't care. I was over-joyed. A huge wieght had been lifted from me. It felt like, well it's difficult to explain, but I will tell you that I cried in the taxi home and those tears where happy ones. Even now, five days after the event I well up when I think what I have been liberated from. I even went to the dentist to make the appointment for impressions, which will be Friday after next and felt absolutly no fear, no aprihension like I did before. I imagine the chair, the equipement, the smell and can honestly say that I feel nothing like I did before.
Did I make the right decision to have all of my teeth removed, hell yes. Do I have any regretes tonging my gums as I while I write this, none at all.
My face doesn't even look out of shape and my speech isn't as impaired as I thought it would be. I still love Tomato soup, even after X amount of tins a day. And I'm booked in for a quit smokeing course which I'm confident in completeing now the main mechanism for it has gone. I feel I'm on another road now and those flashbacks have gone. But the medication gives me some strange dreams. But I don't have to suffer those real life nightmares anymore. No phobia and I'll post again when I get those new teeth, so I can complete my journal.

Wow.
An overwhelmingly emotional post.
You've already said it all, so all I can say is...I'm happy for you.
Wow.

I got carried away.

But I still cannot get over how happy I am now.

As has been said before, wow.
I think your story will help many other people.
You are a brave man and a great writer.
Wishing you all the best for the future.

I went to the denist. WOW. I can't believe it. I got in that chair without fuss. Looked at all the tools and took the smell of the enviroment in and nothing. No fear, anxiety or sweating. No stress prior to going and I actually communicated well with the dental staff, who where stunned. The phobia was with my teeth and now I have none, no phobia. I thought I'd be a little fearful or apprihensive, but the only emotion I felt was excitement as it the first time I sat in that enviroment, that chair without freaking out. The denist prodded, stuck a mirror in my mouth and pulled my skin about to look and I didn't turn a hair. I walked home thinking about it and felt highly confident and happy and still have no regrets.

Anyway. The denist said that everything is fine. I have to wait two months for my impressions while the gums harden off, which doesn't bother me. My mouth looks ok and my speech is fine if I concentrate on it. But sometimes when I laugh while talking, it's all SSSSS's and gums. So when I go back to work, which is retail, I'll be a little aware of that and limit myself to basic service. As you've propably guessed, I enjoy talking to customers and will miss that interaction until I get my new teeth. My mouth shape luckily doesn't betray the fact I'm toothless, so I've no worries about appearance.
I'll post again about the impressions, which I'm looking forward to now I don't see the denist as a monster.