I just cant go

Let me begin by saying how terrible it is what you endured. That is just awful what your father did.

Do you have a dentist you are comfortable with? I know taking those first steps is so hard but honestly it does get a little easier after you take them. Take baby steps. Make a phone call to the dentist if you have one. If you cannot maybe a friend or family member can for you. Ask to bring them along with you and see if they can sit with you while you speak with the dentist. Take something with you that you can hold in your hand. A small stuffed animal for example. Explain your fears to them. You can find a dentist that understands.

I need to take valium before my appointments. There is no shame in it. The dentist can give you something for anxiety. Dentists are much better than they used to be. I had bad experiences as a child with dentists. I have felt the anxiety and panic regarding dentists as well. I think of every excuse not to go, I get the feelings like someone is standing on my chest, my hands shake, I start thinking all these what if's etc. I can tell you that my thoughts and fears were way worse than going. Of course it was not my favorite thing to do but I made it there and you can too!!!

Just keep thinking how nice it will be to smile again. Treat yourself to something every time you take a small step. You came here and that is a big step. You should be proud of that. My thoughts are with you. Keep me updated.

Finding a dentist you like and trust is the key thing here:



There are many dentists who offer sedation as a way through the fear but this doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes you just need to build a relationship of trust (with just one dentist not all dentists they are not all the same) and then slowly embark on treatment step by step at your pace, always under your control.


Have a good read around as to what is potentially available (various sedation options, show tell do, desensitisation etc ) and then choose your dentist based on what approach you think would best work for you.

Good luck. It can only get better.

I had a rough childhood myself.

I am just going to tell you this....you've survived the worst. It's over. There is NOTHING that can happen to you in your life from here on out that you cannot handle. Nothing.

Allow yourself to put a STOP to the abuse. The abuse is continuing as long as you are not getting what you need. In your case the dentist. You are strong enough to put a stop to it, and you are strong enough to survive it. Whatever is inside of you that has allowed you to survive the intial abuse and get to adulthood is EXACTLY what will allow you to survive a dentist trip.

I would get some anti-anxiety meds, take the dose consistantly for the days before and a higher dose the day of. I take benzos and paxil myself so I know how sometimes its just not enough.

thanks for your help, i was so anxious that i couldnt even logg back into this site.

I have tried a few dentists ( i called them up) but its very hard to start with 'my dad pulled my teeth out'..one of the worst things is that i'm 6ft and 17 stone with a bald head, i look like something i'm not.

i'm sure i dont need to tell anyone on here the fear i have for the dentist, but i will and have taken on board what people have posted and will begin by calling a few more dentists.

Thanks again and i'll keep you posted

I don't even know what to say. No one should ever have to go through what you have been through. I can fully understand how your experience would leave you with deep mental fears of dentistry. All, I can say is that if you are able to take that 1st step and find a dentist that is sensitive to your fears it is possible that you can over come this. Just remember that you are in control now... you don't have to experience anything you don't want to. Please keep us posted with your experiences.