• Dental Phobia Support

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Really nervous but going to do it...

E

ellax

Junior member
Joined
Nov 28, 2010
Messages
16
Location
County Durham, England
Hi everyone

I'm a 30 year old mum living in the North East of England and have always been afraid of the dentist. I have been reading the forum for a while as I need to have a tooth taken out and although I'm terrified I have no choice now but to phone a dentist tomorrow.

A piece of the tooth (a molar at the back) broke off about 2 and a half years ago but I just ignored it because I wasn't in pain. Just over 2 years ago I got an absess in it, I have never felt pain like it and after 2 days in horrific pain I went to the dentist.

Things couldn't of started off any worse when I walked into the room and the dental nurse was my brothers ex girlfriend! She started asking me all about my brother and family which I really couldnt cope with, then the dentist came in and I couldnt understand a word she was saying to me. She never explained anything, never acknowledged how nervous I was (I have a history of anxiety and panic attacks), she just drilled down into the tooth and packed it up to come back in a week after I had a course of antibiotics. I asked what would happen when I came back and she said it would be pulled, my brothers ex girlfriend then told her to show me all the stuff they use to pull teeth out, which she did :o

I asked to see another dentist and the following week I saw a lovely guy who did 4 x fillings and took x rays with the view of doing root canal on the tooth to save it. By now I was feeling quite brave and had an appointment to go back but on the morning the surgery cancelled because they had a small fire!! It was booked again, and was again cancelled, because the dentist had left. I spent a couple of week ringing up to see if they had a replacement dentist because there was no way I was seeing the other dentist, and I really wanted to get it done before my wedding a few weeks later.

Anyway to cut a long story short, I never had the root canal treatment and over the last 2 years bits of the tooth have broken off and now I only have about a third of it left above the gumline and I'm more scared than ever and it is VERY loose in my mouth. The pain has never been anything like it was with the abcess but enough is enough, I have been controlled by fear for over 2 years because of it, not knowing if, or when, I would get toothache again, dreading holidays and weekends incase dentists were shut, fed up up chewing on one side of my mouth, etc, and most recently the thought of the tooth just shearing off as I'm quite certain it's not attached to the roots anymore.

SO I have decided that I have to phone a dentist in the morning, face up to the fear and get it removed. The NHS dentist has made me terrified so I have decided to go to a completley private surgery that I found (they also do massages, botox, manicures etc and it looks very posh) where hopefully they will listen to all my fears and not rush me because afterall I'm paying for it arnt I?

I'm not really sure why I am writing this and I do apologise how long winded it is, so well done if you got this far :redface:

Edited to add:

I tried to phone on Friday afternoon but just couldn't do it and although I have been quite determined all weekend to make an appointment, I am really starting to loose my resolve. I keep imagining how I will feel once it's over and done with and how proud I will be of myself but it's losing it's effect on me. I will probably be up all night reading the posts on here and watching videos on Youtube because it give me a strange kind of comfort knowing what is going to happen and knowing that other people have managed to do it
 
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well done for writing it all down, it really will help you to get everything in a good place in your head before you face the dentist again, have you considered IV sedation? once the IV goes into your arm of hand you really wont know a thing, and very soon you are sent home with the treatment being over and absolutely no pain or anxiety ! i had it 6 months ago, got 2 teeth extracted that were a lot like your bad one, and had an abcess under both teeth, was in horrendous pain for weeks and weeks before i plucked up the courage to go see the dentist. i HATE the idea of opening my mouth - let alone getting injections, sitting there wanting to die with panic and fear while they drill me URGHHHHHHHHHH just the thought makes me shudder !!! IV sedation was the only way to go for me, read up on the forum about it, and consider it for yourself, it may really help you. i wish you well xxx:grouphug:
 
Hi Michelle, thanks for that. I have been reading about IV sedation but I think it would make me more scared - I hate the thought of not being in control and I know once it is in your hand you don't remember anything but that freaks me out more than the thought of having the tooth out if that makes sense.

I know I have to go now it is moving about painfully in my mouth but I just want to be there so I can say 'yeah just do it'. Hopefully they will see me tomorrow and I will keep everyone updated.

Does anyone have any experience of private dentists? Do you get more time and seen quicker?
 
Hi Ella,
private dentists certainly do usually have more time than NHS dentists. They can also offer more treatment options (not everything is available on the NHS), and going private also allows you to avail of specialists if needed.

Of course, just because a dentist is private doesn't necessarily mean they're good at what they do, or good with anxious people, or right for you. As in every other profession, you'll find great, good, and not-so-good (or downright crappy) dentists.

The best way of finding a caring and gentle dentist who does good work is by way of personal recommendation (from friends, family, acquaintances, or colleagues) - especially when the recommendation comes from someone who used to be anxious themselves. Though of course, what is right for one person isn't necessarily right for another, so trust your instincts when choosing your dentist. It's often been said that you WILL know when you have found a dentist who's right for you :)!

So yeah, take the opportunity tomorrow as a "get-to-know-you" meeting, where you can find out whether you like and trust this particular dentist - if you are in any doubt, there's plenty more fish in the sea!

All the best for tomorrow :thumbsup:!
 
Thank you. I have just come off the phone from the private practise I found and I have an appointment tomorrow. I was hoping it would be today but because of all the snow this last week (County Durham) the dentists haven't been able to get into work today! Hopefully the snow will hold off and I will be seen tomorrow.

The lady I spoke to on the phone couldn't of been any nicer and she said she would show me around the practise and stay with me until the dentist was ready for me, I'm not too sure of the cost but from what she was saying it was going to be less than what was listed on their website as I don't need to have a full consultation if I'm only wanting the tooth out, but I don't care how much it costs as long as it gets sorted.

I asked if it might get pulled tomorrow and she said 'possibly', hopefully I will find the courage from somewhere and just let them do it to put a end to this. I haven't eaten all weekend apart from some chocolate pudding but I'm too scared to try anything today as it's more loose than ever :(

Feeling quite nervous but also slightly excited in a weird way :redface:
 
Good luck - that sounds promising.
Let us know how you get on.
Ask all the questions you want...they should be happy to answer them. Did you choose which dentist you want to see or is there only one?
One of the main benefits of UK private over NHS dentists is that you can usually keep the same dentist and they don't keep leaving every 6 months...so you can build a proper relationship of trust and get any TLC you want/need.
Constant staff turnover was the main thing which made me switch to a private dentist back in the 1980s. I had been going to the same NHS practice since I was 10 and yet had had more dentists than most people had had hot dinners! The longest one stayed was 2 1/2 years.
 
From what I can gather there are only 2 dentists there, I don't mind which one I see as I'm feeling quite confident that they will listen to me, the lady on the phone was lovely and chatted for a good 10 minutes which is 10 minutes longer than I ever got at the NHS dentist when I was phoning asking for an appointment.

I don't have anything against the NHS but I am pleased I am going to a private practise as it has taken away some of the fear knowing that I will (hopefully) get more time and more understanding. I have had to borrow the money to pay for it but from the way she was speaking it was only going to cost around £100, although I'm not sure if they charge more for a difficult extraction?

Praying and praying the snow stays away today and tonight...
 
Over the last 4 hours my tooth has come more and more loose and sore, so we have been onto NHS Direct about the dental access centres but the nearest one is 25 miles away and apparently they wouldnt see me because I havent been taking the max dose of the strongest painkillers for 24 hours before (not sure what they are talking about?) and anyway they wouldnt take it out, just give me pain releif.

So we tried a couple of NHS/Private dentists asking to pay private and be seen today but they are either shut because of the snow, or have no appointments. It has been a blizzard here for hours so I doubt we would of been able to get anyway.

Anyway I had some painkillers about 30 minutes ago and it fell out :scared:

I can't stop shaking, the roots are still in there but im terrified its gonna start hurting more and more and i wont be able to cope, im in bed shaking like a leaf and crying like a baby :(

I realise extracting roots will be quite difficult but would love to hear somebodys account of it? The tooth was completly rotten black and absolutley stinks but as long as the pain stays bearable it's better now than having it wobble about and being scared to swollow incase it came out.
 
Hi Ella :), badly broken down teeth tend to be easier to remove (the crown i.e. the tooth above the gumline just gets in the way). I hope the weather will improve before long and you'll be able to get it taken care of real soon :grouphug:
 
REALLY NERVOUS!!

The appointment is in just over an hour and i'm not even dressed yet as I was hoping the snow would of meant the appointment was cancelled. Very nervous and don't feel in the right frame of mind to go but I have to or I will let myself down as it has taken 2 years to get to this point of just having an appointment.

Yesterday I was hoping they would do the work today, but now i'm hoping they don't and I have to go back, I know this is just putting it off and I hope I can be brave enough to say yes if they offer to treat me today.

Will update when I get back, wish me luck! BLOODY HELL!! :scared:
 
Wishing you loads of luck today, and looking at the time you should be on your way back home.
Well done
 
Thanks Vanquish :)

I got back about 10 minutes ago after having the roots removed there and then.

I will write better about it a bit later after I have chance to stop shaking, but it wasnt too bad (better than I expected) and although i'm in pain now the extraction itself never hurt and its actually my other teeth hurting rather than the one that came out.

Really pleased with myself for eventually doing it but a little worried about the recovery and how much pain I will be in over the next few days...
 
Well done from me again.
I had a tooth that was just roots removed a few weeks back now and yes other teeth seemed to hurt too.
Was a surgical type extraction as the roots came out in bits.
It took 4 days for the swelling to go down but i was in no pain from the day after extraction. Warm salt water rinse is great, but leave it a day for the clot to settle before.
Hope you are enjoying the snow, great here in Huddersfield...:)
:cheers:
 
My little girl is enjoying the snow but I'm not! It has snowed constantly since last Wednesday and today has been the first time we have been able to get the car out - we are in a remote village on the top of a hill in County Durham and it's still snowing but also quite windy now, although I think I will enjoy it more now this tooth is out and I don't have the worry of it.

Is Huddersfield near Leeds?

Will add an account of today very soon now I'm feeling better :thumbsup:
 
I did it!

Yesterday morning I was absolutley terrified, we have lots of snow here and although the dentist I found was only 5 miles away we had to go the long way around using the main roads (about 20 miles). My appointement was at 10.55am but we were running late so we called them on the way and they put it back to 11.25am as they had received a cancellation.

My husband drove me and we took our little girl with us, when we arrived the staff couldnt of been any nicer and either could the surgery. It was like a show home with oak floors, big plush sofa's, free tea, coffee and soft drinks! You really didn't feel as though you were at the dentists and I was 10 times more relaxed because of it.

I had already filled my forms out online so I only had to sign them, the practise manager came over and chatted with us between answering the phone and made my husband coffee, I had a few tears but I was OK.

At 11.30am the dentist came and got me, introduced himself and shook my hand. He took me into the room and introduced me to the dental nurse who was just as nice. They had a chair in the corner that they allow nervous patients to sit on first to get used to the room but I said I was OK and got straight into the dentists chair.

He asked me all about my problems so I explained all the trouble with this tooth and then he asked me why I was scared of the dentists, was it the needle, the smell, the dentist etc. I told him I was OK with the needle and he said that was really good because most nervous patients are scared of the injections.

We chatted for a good 20 minutes before he even had a look and he talked me through everything, i said I wanted it out now if possible but told him I was scared of having to have gum and bone removed to get to it because it was so rotten and half was under my gum. He said the last time he had done anything like that was 3 years ago and not to worry because they had ways, I never beleived him though!

I can honestly say that I never felt the injections until he put one right in the middle of my tooth (that's what it felt like anyway). I don't know how many injections I had but at one point I thought he was taking the tooth out because of the feeling of pressure I had but it wasnt painful. He kept having me rinse my mouth out and then I had to hold some sort of mouthwash liquid in there for a few minutes. By this point I couldnt stop shaking, my hands and legs were bouncing about and he asked me if I had eaten. I said I hadnt so they went and got me a glucose drink.

I was holding the nurses hand throughout everything and I had a bit of a panic when I knew he was about to start but it never hurt, it felt like a huge pressure and I heard some crunching noises but the first bit was out in about 2 minutes. When he told me the first bit was out I couldnt beleive it and the releif was huge, the second bit didnt take much longer even though it was burried under my gum, I would say 6 minutes from the first pull to both bits being out and maybe 20 minutes from the start of the injections to it all being out.

He said I have some infection there so had a bit of a clean out of it but I knew I must of because the smell and taste was horrific and still is now, yukk!

I had to bite down on some gauze and he went out to tell my husband it was out. I had to sit there about 10 minutes then he came back and asked how I felt and said I could go, I told him he was the best dentist ever and thanked the nurse for being so nice and asked if I could take the bits of tooth home!

It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be and hurt less and took less time than what a filling did on the NHS.

I had some pain last night and during the night and my jaw is slightly swollen today but its nothing that some paracetamol and ibroprofin doesnt sort out.

He had noticed my TMJ problems before I even sat down in the chair and was going to take some pictures and something else but I think because we spent so much time talking there wasnt enough time.

It was a completly private practise and I realise people don't get that amount of time with the NHS but if you are able to go private I would recommend it just for the level of time, care and understanding they can give you. It cost me £80 to have it removed - £40 emergency consultation and £40 for the extraction and was worth every penny especially when you think that on the NHS it would of been band 2 at a cost of £46.50p

I have an appointment next Friday as a new patient where I will have every tooth checked, x rays and pictures taken and my bite checked, it will be £60 for the check and you can either pay as you go with treatment or sign up to a plan which for £12.50 a month includes 2 x check ups a year and 2 x hygenist appointments and 20% off all treatments. I need a couple of fillings and after the stress of the last 2 years with this tooth I really want to look after my teeth from now on as i'm only 30 and my teeth are a mess. I obviously can't afford any of the cosmetic things they do like implants etc but I can certainly save up for the fillings and check ups.

This forum is great, i would never of been able to do this without reading everybodys stories and experiences so thank you to everybody who has shared fears, concerns and advice, it was a huge help and still is while I recover and get ready for my next appointment :thumbsup:
 
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Well done you :jump: Really pleased to hear that lovely account - thanks for sharing - your new dentist sounds like mine. That is what modern dentistry should be like!
Raise a glass to nice dentists everywhere, with time to chat to make the patient feel welcome :sleepyjuice:.

Your point about the pleasant premises reducing your nerves was also a good one - it helps an awful lot I find if everything is shouting 'homely relaxation' at you rather than 'scary dentist...scary dentist'.

Bet your hubby will want to go there now lol. Kids'll be next ;D.
 
Thanks Brit. I really can't fault anything, I was a little worried they would be quite snobby but they wern't in the slightest.

The nice suroundings definatley helped, it was very relaxed with only one other patient there the whole time and all the staff spoke to you as though you were old friends.
Still can't beleive its eventually out, I'm so pleased :yay:

I do have pain but its just like a dull toothache once I take some painkillers, I'm a little worried about the dreaded dry socket as I can't see a blood clot but I think that's because my gum was cut at the top where it had healed over half of the tooth - it looks like the flaps of gum have been pushed into the hole but it is starting to go greyish which I read is good and all part of the healing.

Lol, hubby is already talking about joining up as he hasn't been to the dentists for a long time and my little girl is almost 3 so will need a check up soon although she will get these free if I take out one of the dental plans. We really don't have alot of money and have never had anything private before but I'm going to start to put a few pounds a week away to cover the check ups and fillings I need now and that I may need in the future.

I am absolutley starving though! I had a yoghurt yesterday but it went in the hole and I automatically shoved my tounge in there so I'm a bit scared to eat anything and I'm day dreaming of Pizza and chips all the time :drool:
 
well done !! what a brave little soldier you were .. :giggle: i am so proud of you !! you did amazingly well, coped brilliantly, and show me up for being such a wus ! i admire your courage to sit straight in the chair, thats great :) i hope that your fear lessens and lessens with each visit you make to that lovely dentist, as i am sure it will ! congratulations on getting rid of that nasty rotten tooth! :grouphug::yay:
 
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Awww thanks Michelle :XXLhug:

I am so pleased it has gone! I have imagined this moment for so long but never though I would ever be able to get there myself.

Looking back I still can't beleive I did it and I hope now that if I ever needed another extraction I wouldn't avoid it until it got to the point where it was so rotten it eventually fell out like this one did.

You did amazing too, I was reading your story the other night after we spoke on here and couldnt imagine myself ever getting to the other side of an extraction so thanks for sharing and for your support :-*
 
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