New here

Hi,

I'm new here and I'm already in an panic. I have broken back teeth. In fact I will sit and try and pull the rest of that tooth out (but still scared of going to the dentist).

On my one side the gum has simply went over the broken teeth (bottom) and on the other side (bottom again) they are badly cracked and I think I might have an abscess. I've been taking garlic tablets and using the tea bag on the gum at night. Rinsing with salt water and even using the baking soda salt on a cotton ball (which after some of those things my cheek feels like funky now).

I haven't been to the dentist since I was 15..i'm soon to be 43. The dentist I had when I was young was rough and well ruined me. I'm so scared of going. I'm so trying to work up the nerve, but every time I even think about picking up the phone and calling a dentist I feel myself panic. Coming on here, I found out that I'm not alone in that felling. I keep thinking, If I can get this abscess under control, then I'll make the appointment. I'm going away in March, so that was my timeline. When I come back I'll make the appointment. I have myself so scared with everything. I'm not sleeping at night. But I do have to say the tea bags do work for the abscess. I've tried getting the doctor to call me in a script of antibiotic, but they want to see me, and I'm like afraid of well the embarrassment. So I'm handling it on my own. Then of course you look up home remedies for help and I swear some people who post on there like to scare the bejesus out of you.

My mouth doesn't hurt, but I have a fistula ( I think that what it is called with the research that I did) so it is draining. I keep pushing to get the gook out. I don't have a fowl oder in my mouth and my mouth isn't swollen that I can tell. Not really feeling overly bad. I just want to get this under control and make myself in March head to the dentist.

Any ideas how I can accomplish that and make sure I stick with the appointment. I'm so worried about how the dentist will look at me with all this nastyness going on in my mouth. Please help me.

Can you believe that I'm panicing cuz I poste don here. I'm sitting ehre shaking. I just want to cry. I feel so badly about myelf. If this is how i'm getitng postig on here, how am I going to be when i hav eot call and make a dental appotinment.

Sorry for all the typos. I was having a total break down just from posting. I'm still rinsing my mouth out with warm salt water and I'll stick a tea bag in my mouth again tonight. I'm hoping to clear up this abscess and again, make an appointment in March (giving myself enough time to work up the courage) for the dentist. I really want to get this taken care of. I've been reading other postings, and like some people I too have googled tooth abscess and came across horror stories that would have me up at night worrying thatI was going to die. I'm making myself stop doing that, and hopefully I'll get a good nights sleep tonight. I'll keep coming back visiting to try and build up my courage more.

Thank you for listening to me whine.
Michelle

Welcome, Michelle.
You have come to the BEST place! You just walked into a "room" full of people who understand exactly how you feel, have experienced every agony/tears/terror that you have experienced and NO ONE will judge you. You are truly among friends and we will do what we can to help you.
Four months ago, I was certain I would "die" as a result of my teeth, either from infection, from mental breakdown, from something dental-related. Even wondered, if something should "happen" to me, how my body could ever be identified since I had no dental records. Totally irrational but REAL thoughts. With the help of the wonderful folks here, after 20+ years of no dental care, I experienced my "final" abcess (agony) and decided to do something about it. Hardest thing I ever, ever did...but I did it. I still have my teeth (well, most of them!), I have a healthy mouth and I'm smiling. There IS a way for you to conquer this, and we're here to help you find it.
Read the Journals here...they were my greatest inspiration. You'll find the ones you can most relate to and, I promise, those members will respond to you.
Stay with us...you'll get there!

Hi Michelle, just wanted to say you're definitely in the right place here, everyone here has been where you are right now or is still there and I can 100% say I would not have got to a dentist without everyone here helping me! I know it seems a long way off yet but now you have found us its only a matter of time before you're sitting there telling someone else your success story!! I never ever thought I would be doing that but here I am!!
Keep posting and coming on here and you'll get there!

An enthusiastic amen to everything the others have said...I could never have gone to the dentist without the help of the people on this website..I was a complete wreck for at least 3-4 weeks before the appt. which was last Monday--I was a complete shaking disaster when I walked in the dentist office and left with a whole new beginning in my life!! I love my dentist! I want to go home with her!! (well and her nitrous....hahaha)We are here for you. Anytime....

Thank you all. Well it's midnight here and I think I got some sleep a couple of hours. I used the tea bag again, but my mouth (cheek) still has a really weird feeling to it ( I really think that baking soda and salt did something to it) and it's getting swollen not painful though..yet. I'm so afraid. I just want to sit and cry. I was so hoping to handle the abscess on my own..i've done it before..i just don't know if I have the nerve to even make a phone call to the dentist yet alone actually go there. My husband is the same way, so he is understanding. My kids don't understand at all. And funny thing, I made them go..i didn't want them to grow up like my husband and I have..fearful. I guess I'll take some advil and and ice pack up to bed with me and try to get some more sleep. Even when I nod off I wake up in a panic just thinking about even calling. I did manage to look up some dentist tonight on-line, but I'm still so scared. I feel like throwing up right now cuz I'm such a wreck.

Hugs to you and your husband.
My journey began when I emailed a dentist and got an empathetic response. A phone call was beyond my capabilities at that point. So we communicated via email until I could handle them calling me. Truly, making that big phone call is such a major issue for us phobics..I found a way around it and hope others can take the same step...my dentist called me!
Wishing everyone in pain=a good night's sleep and strength in the a.m.

Well managed to get some sleep last night. It is still swollen, so I'll try calling the dr. and seeing if they will cal a z pack in for me, I'm allergic to penn. I've taken that before and it did help. I just want to get the swelling down. Still really don't have any pain. Don't know if tht is good or bad. I tried sticking one of my garlic pills there, and burned like heck, couldn't stand it so I took it off. I'm going to hold off on the tea bags and baking soda, salt thing. I think that just might have done damage to my cheek.

I sit and try to talk myself into going to the dentist, but that fear is just so over powering. I get such a stomach ache and my heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. I wish there was some magic pill that you could take just to give you nerve.

And then the factor of trying to find a dentist. Like I said before, I did manage to look (don't want to go to the one my kids go to embarrassed about that) but it's like..i don't know how they will be. I'm like a total wreck. Just typing here, I'm shaking. I want to cry, but don't want my kids to see me crying. I feel like such a fool.

Coming here has helped somewhat, I don't lay in bed at night thinking I'm going to die at least now. And I haven't googled tooth abscess for a whole day. Do people post things on purpose to scared the heck out of you. Heck you are scared enough already, then you try and find some home remedy to help and it's horror story after horror story. I had myself conviced I was getting a brain tumor from this, that I was going to have heart failure and end up in the hospital in a coma.

I've been reading some devotionals by Joyce Meyer that are somewhat helping me, but I really need a little something else. Hence why I'm giving myself until March. I'm going away on vacation with my husband and I'm hoping that will calm me down enough.

Does anyone out there have any more advice? I just want this panic feeling to go away right now. And I didn't even call a dentist yet and this is how I'm feeling just thinking about it? I've read a lot of the stories on here, and I'm have to say proud doesn't even beginning to describe the feeling you have when you read that someone actually had the courage to call and then go. I wish I had some of that courage right now.

Thanks for listening to me this site has honestly been a godsend. To know that you are not alone is such a help.

Michelle

Hi Michelle

You have definitely come to the right place and you are definitely not alone, we are a bunch of like minded people who will sympathise and encourage you.

I was like you, in my 40's and not been to the dentist since my teens. I too reached a point where I was 'living off' of antibiotics for a reoccurring abscess and had a mouth full of naff teeth and I too made excuses like, after my holiday, after the party, after Christmas. In all honesty I was never going to get anything done, I would rather have died (and felt like I was going to most of the time), I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate, cried all the time and was in constant pain.

The best thing I did was email a couple of dentists banging on and on and on about my phobia and fears at great length and in great depth -yawn!
I convinced myself that with an email you don't have 'real' contact, they didn't have my phone number or my address and couldn't come and get me! I did hear back from one dentist, not his receptionist, who replied at great length, he even offered to meet me in the car park outside Based on his reply I did make an appointment to see him and have never looked back - yes it was very hard at times and yes I now have shares in Kleenex however, it has changed my life beyond belief.

Dentistry has changed dramatically over the years, it is nothing like we remember from our childhood and with the right caring understanding dentist you will be able to build up trust beat this 'monster'
Take it slowly, just one visit at a time and remember you are in control, have you got a friend or relative that can go with you for support? someone who knows what you want or don't want and can speak for you. Think about making targets i.e. I want to be pain free before my holiday - then you can enjoy it.

Remember you are in control .... think about typing that email

Hi Michelle! Believe me when I say I know how you feel. I managed to avoid going to the dentist for about 50 years. Had a horrible experience as a child and said I'd never go back..and I didn't..until May '10 when I knocked a front tooth out. I'd tried to make appointments over the years but was too afraid. Had I not stumbled across this website I probably still wouldn't have gone. Just finding so many people who actually shared my fears and truly understood them made me feel so much better. For so long I felt like the only person in the world that felt like I did...or who had such bad teeth.
Please believe me when I tell you that going to the dentist will not be nearly as bad as you think. If I managed it..I know you can! If I could go back and do things over I never would have waited so long because all the horrible stuff was just in my imagination. Yes, I was scared to death at my first appointment..but it got easier each time..and NOTHING feels as good as being able to actually smile in public again. I hadn't done that in a very, very long time!
I know it's scary..but please don't put it off any longer. Not only can bad teeth effect your mouth..they can cause a lot of other medical issues. If you can't do it for yourself..do it for your kids. You CAN do it.

Ok, I must tell you how sympathetic I am for you first of all. I am 29 years old and have 5 children. I too have painc attacks about the dentist, even calling one. I left my teeth go for years, 11 to be exact. I had numerous abcesses and would self medicate on antibiotics i had laying around the house. I would even drain the abcess myself. I spent many sleepless nights with the pain from my teeth. Here I am 11 years later, currently I do not have any pain from my teeth but I think its just from them beaing so rotten and dead.
What made me even start doing research(because I know all of my top teeth will need to be extracted and most of the bottom, is that while eating a BLT sandwich I broke a front tooth and have been temporarily gluing it in, not a good idea by the way.All of my back teeth are rotten to the gumline. But i always justified it saying no one but me knew. But I found this website and started to chat with some of the people on here. This is a great support group. After doing all of the research and just mustering up the courage to talk to my hubby, sister and my mother in law about my situation was a good start. They are greatly supportive. I finally called a dentist and found one I think is going to be a good fit for me. My appointment is feb 8th.
My point I am trying to make is that, I was in denial for a very long time. If I had just gotten this taken care of a long time ago I wouldnt be sitting here today facing total extraction of my top teeth and most of the bottom. I know its easy to give yourself a far off date to go to the dentist and then panic and not call or go. I have just gotten to the point that I am determined to be able to smile around my kids and their friends and be able to eat normal again. I have always overshadowed my insecurites with made up confidence so that I could hide my teeth.
Maybe it could be possible that you and I could be each others support on this forum and take the journey together. Its really suprising that none of us on this forum know each other but feel like we do because of the overwhelming fear of the dentist. Please just make the call and stick to it. I am on here many times a day or even if you want to send my a private message we can give each other courage. I think I have convinced myself to go to that first appointment by myself just to prove I can...but we will see how panicked I get when the time comes.
Hope I have helped, just know thatwe are all cheering for you and want to see those amazing after pics.
NIkki

I guess some of you didn't see. I did make a call and went last Thurs. I am on meds and get 3 teeth extracted on the 2nd of Feb. I have good days and bad days with panic over this. Today..is a bad day, but talked with my husband. Like he said, I'm driving myself crazy over the teeth pulling, and I truly am. So doing breathing exercises and saying over and over in my head..I will NOT be afraid of the dentist. I'll keep ya posted.

Michelle

good luck.

As I read through your posts, I feel like I just want to give you a hug. Like the others have said, we all know exactly how you feel! Here is just a bit of my story I share with you in the hope that it will help you.
Just like you, I lived in terror of the dentust after being severely traumatized as a child and adolesecent. My mother keep taking me back to this one dentist who was just cruel. I really think he hated children. My mother would sit calmly in the waiting room where she could clearly hear my screams and did nothing to help me. When it was time to go back again, I would colaspse tp the floor and cry hysterically pleading with my mother not to go. Her response was to scold me saying " For heavens sake grow up and stop acting like a baby" With no one to protect me I felt truly trapped. Just recently, I learned that this dentist has been stripped of his license due to numerous complaimts from both adult patients and the parents of his child patients for the same kind of stuff he did to me.Thank God. However, nothing will ever erase my memories of this man.
When I got out on my own as a young adult, I decided I was simply done with dentists.I firmly believed they were horrible people and I vowed never to step foot on a dentist office again. And then when I was a sophmore in college, I forced myself to go because I had a toothache (which actually turned out to be a ear infection) and the dentist tried putting a rubber dam in my mouth and put it too far back and cut off my airway. In total panic, I ripped it out and literally ran from the office. That was the last straw for me and dentists.
Fast forward 15 years later and while I was dating my husband, he causually asked one day "Who is your dentist?" The mere mention of it gave me chills all the way down my spine and I shot back at him "I don't do dentists!!"
He looked stricken "Okay, sorry" And we never mentioned it again until after we got married and he learned I had 2 broken teeth that had been that way for a couple of years. They didnt hurt so I made sure I brushed really thoroughly but otherwise I ignored them. Hubby was alarmed and asked me directly how long since I had seen a dentist. I shouted at him again that I didnt do dentists. Long story short, it took him several months of persistence but he finally got me to agree to see his nice lady dentist (the other were all men) promising he would not leave my side and would not let her do anything to hurt me. The visit was a total disaster. I had a major PTSD reaction and was so hysterical the dentist could do nothing with me. I scared hubby out of his wits because he had never seen me los control like that. The dentist told my husband "Somebody did something really bad to this lady and she is going to need special help." She reffered me to one of her colleagues who, she said, specialized in working with people like me. We left the office and it took me the whole rest of the day to calm down.
A week later, I was sitting in another dentist's ofiice and, again I was crying hysterically when I met the woman who would change my life forever. She asked me a lot of routine questions and waited patiently for me to stop crying long enough to answer her. I couldnt stand the sounds I was hearing so U got up and said "I have to go" and started walking out and she said "Wait just ine second what is it that's upsetting you?" I told I couldnt stand the noises and she said "okay I can fix that give me 1 minute" She went over the room next door and told the staff who were cleaning instruments to take it into the room down the hall. And then there was silence and I felt like she cared about my feelings so I stayed and talked to her and cried mire buckets biut she didnt seem bothered by that. She asked me to tell her exactly what had happened to me and I did. When I was done, she had to wipe away the tears. She gave me a script for Valium and said we would do tiny baby steps at a time. She made anther appointment for me and said next time we would only do x-rays. That was 2 years ago. Under her gentle and compassionate care, she has not only fixed my teeth which were in really bad shape but has also taught me to trust her which, given my history, is something close to a miracle, She told me recently that I am her greatest success story because I am the most terrified patient she has ever worked with and she is so proud of the progress I have made.
Please know, dear lady that you do not have to live your life in terror. Dr. Katy has taught me that the past does not equal the future.
Blessings to you

Thank you So Much for writing your story. You all are a trye insipration to me. Guess I just didnt realize how many people are out there just like me. I have always heard people say they didnt like the dentist but never have i known it to be a true phobia like I have.
I guess I have just gotten to my low point. Cant stand the sight of what I look like anymore...even though my hubby is ultra-supportive and tells me I am beautiful everyday, just wish he knew the whole truth...in my mouth. I think after this whole thing is over with I will sit him down and tell him the whole story. Its almost like I feel like I am living a lie. I feel so ashamed at my self and my appearence that I rarely go any place but work, unless its around people I dont know.
Again thanks for sharing your story, I am looking forward to sitting down and writing my story on here one day, for now I read and share in everyone elses lives.. praying that I really can do this.
Nikki

Hi Nikki,
You are entirely welcome. And yes, YOU CAN DO THIS!! You really can and you will feel such a sense of accomplishment, such a feeling of personal power and pride when you do.
Supportive spouses are a special blessing. My hubby has no fear of the dentist. For him, its just somehing he does routinely like getting the oil changed in the car. Just an item on the TO DO list. The last two years have been a real education for him as he has learned and lived with me the reality of dental phobia. He has been really supoortive of me and that really helps.
And I really a debt of gratitude to his dentist for recognizing what was going on and knew who could help me.