In screaming pain, terrified, need to vent...

Some of my earliest memories are of the dentist that used to hit me when I was 3 or 4. He would do the most painful things to me, and if I cried he would slap me. He did the same thing to my older brother, but for some reason they just kept taking us back there, over and over. As an adult, I met a female dentist who told me that when that man retired she went to look at his practice, but he wouldn't sell it to her because she was a woman.
My mother remarried when I was 5, we moved, and began seeing my stepfather's dentist, a man who was thoroughly disgusted by my terror and had no problem letting me know how he felt. He also preferred to pull the teeth I was having problems with, so I'm now missing several adult molars. I grew up in a family of 9, and eventually it was easier financially for my parents to stop taking me. About 10 years ago, I became friends with a man who had once been married to this dentist's assistant; I now know enough personal details to make me cringe at the thought that either of them had ever put their fingers in my mouth. This dentist spent years having an affair with her--before and after her marriage to my friend--and actually lost his ability to prescribe for feeding her Vicodin addiction. When he died, he left the dental building to her, not to his long-suffering wife.
At this point, I have to wonder if most dentists are just sadistic creeps.
I now live with a Panic Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress, though for many more reasons than these experiences. I'm not on my Prozac right now, because my doctor charges $100 every three months to refill my $4 prescription, and because I don't have insurance I have to self-pay and can't afford it at this time.
I have a broken lower wisdom tooth that has been causing me pure agony lately. My doctor has been prescribing me Darvocet, but I've used it up, and of course it's been recalled, so I can't get more. So I've borrowed a friend's prescription ibuprofen--I know it's a major no-no, but I was desperate. It brings the pain down, but it never goes away. Complicating all of this is the fact that I know from giving birth that I'm allergic to Codeine and Demerol, and also cloves--which I think is the reason I react to Orajel.
I'm so ANGRY! Not just at the people responsible for my terror, but also at myself for not being stronger than this. Shouldn't I be able to get past this by now? I'm 47 years old and I have the teeth of a meth addict. I have an IQ of 165, I don't do drugs, I drink only occasionally, but the impression that people get of me is based on my teeth, and it's not a pretty one.
I know that things are coming to a head. I know that something has to be done, and I'm so worried about what the infection is doing to me. But even with the incredible pain, I still do NOT want to go to another dentist who will look down on me and treat me like crap.

I don't want to live like this anymore, but I don't know what to do.

I often wonder why some of these dentists become dentists. Don't they know going in that most people hate going to the dentist and are afraid?

My heart goes out to you. You and I could be the same person. I too have PTSD with Panic Disorder, and I too am 47 and have the teeth of a meth addict, and my higher than average IQ does nothing to rid me of this extreme phobia... or any of my ptsd-related problems for that matter.

PTSD is a psychiatric injury.... not something you can intellectualize your way out of no matter how smart you are. And it has nothing to do with being weak. Living with PTSD yourself, you know what it takes to just get through a normal day sometimes.

I don't have an answer for your dental/money problems. All I can do is tell you what I did. I shopped around for a dentist who could work with my PTSD and make the dental work I need affordable for me. You may not be able to pay the amount at once, but a good dentist who isn't in the profession just for the money will work out a payment plan that you can afford. In addition to that, most dentists will offer you a discount if you tell them you simply cannot afford whatever dental work you need.

The other thing you can try is dental schools. They do great work at about half the price. Problem with this, here in Canada at least, is you have to pay the full amount upfront.

And finally, if you're not embarrassed to do so, you can call around and ask if they take any pro-bono cases. Some do. Can't hurt to ask.

I can say I know exactly how you feel. It took me 10 years to get here. I've been living with a meth-addict mouth for that long. And PTSD longer.

Big hug for you.

You poor thing! I have had bad experiences with dentists in the past, though not as terrible as yours. I just wanted to tell you that there are good caring dentists out there. I should know, in the past 2 years, I have been fortunate enough to find 3 of them (2 of them are currently my dentists).
I agree with butterflies, you need to shop around until you find one that 1) will work with your budget 2) one you feel comfortable with
A lot of dentists will give you a discount on their services if they know you are paying for treatment yourself. Mine gave me a discount and set up a payment plan.
Don't give up on finding a dentist, just start looking/shopping around, you will find one!
Hope you feel better soon!
A big, huge !

Strangely, I felt a little better just having put that all down in print! It's really comforting to also know that there are people that don't look down on me for the things that I'm feeling.
I have an appointment for a consultation for the day after tomorrow. I explained that I'm extremely afraid, and asked if I could come in, talk to someone, see the place, and get a feel for it. I'm trying to not be bothered by the fact that my call was answered by a recording, or that I spent 5 minutes on hold being told that I was call #1, and the average wait time is less than one minute; things happen, businesses get...well, busy. But they also have a website from which I can download the patient forms and fill them out at home, and I really like that! And it's not that far away, which is extremely important, if I have a panic attack I can get home quickly.
It's also a place that does general dentistry as well as dentures, so hopefully if I can get this wisdom tooth thing taken care of, I can stay with the same place for the dentures/bridges/whatever that I'll eventually need. I would hate to get comfortable with a place and then have to switch to something new (panic disorder; I hate new, I like routine, that's my comfort zone).
Finance-wise, I've been helping out a friend of mine--someone that has gotten into a really tight bind, who has helped me out numerous times in the past--but I can cover the cost of the consultation, and I have several friends and family members who are very concerned for me right now, and have offered to help with the cost of treatment. I just need to find the strength to actually show up, look into payment options, etc.
Plus, I figure if it turns out that it's not the right place for me, I'll probably at least come away from it with some antibiotics, which will help the infection while I look around a little more.

I'm sooo grateful that I found this forum! Thanks so much!

Oh, GOOD for you!!! It sounds like you've got a plan! Remember, you are essentially the dentist's employer......if you don't like something you walk out or "fire" that dentist. You'll feel so much more in control if you look at it in that way!
I agree, at best you'll find a dentist that you'll like, at worst you'll get some antibiotics to quell that infection long enough to "hire" another dentist!!
Best wishes and 's,
Jen

PERFECT!

You took control, told them exactly what you need to be comfortable during that first appointment.... you'll know right away if this is the right place or not. Remeber, YOU are the patient (client) so YOU have to be happy and comfortable. If they want your business, they have to (within reason) accommodate you, not the other way around.

Please let us know how it goes!

They pulled it!! I was only expecting a consultation, perhaps a prescription for antibiotics, but it's actually gone! I've been told by dentists before that you can't numb an infected tooth, but this guy did that and more: I was numb to the top of my head (6 shots!), and I had kaleidoscope vision for a while, but I didn't feel a thing. And, after first talking to me for a few minutes, he looked into my mouth and actually said, "Eh, I've seen worse."

While I'm absolutely thrilled that he did such an awesome job, and I really liked him, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the place as a whole; but now that I'm not busy dealing with the screaming pain, I have the chance to decide whether to go back or keep looking for another option.

lynna01 said:

They pulled it!! I was only expecting a consultation, perhaps a prescription for antibiotics, but it's actually gone! I've been told by dentists before that you can't numb an infected tooth, but this guy did that and more: I was numb to the top of my head (6 shots!), and I had kaleidoscope vision for a while, but I didn't feel a thing. And, after first talking to me for a few minutes, he looked into my mouth and actually said, "Eh, I've seen worse."

While I'm absolutely thrilled that he did such an awesome job, and I really liked him, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the place as a whole; but now that I'm not busy dealing with the screaming pain, I have the chance to decide whether to go back or keep looking for another option.

Click to expand...

Lynna01
You made my day ...a competent caring dentist who can numb an infected tooth....'all teeth can be numbed all of the time, but not all dentists can numb all teeth all of the time'....if you liked him, see what he comes up with regarding a treatment plan for the rest.

I 'm so glad for you!!!! No more agonizing pain!!
I agree with Brit, you should maybe go back to this dentist, see what the treatment plan is, in other words, give him another shot.
If it's an assistant that you don't like, maybe you could request another one to assist the dentist??
Great job!!!!
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Well, there are several cons about this particular place:

1. It's not in the best neighborhood, and seems to serve mostly lower-income and minority patients. A lot of businesses around here tend to take advantage of that sort of clientele, because they don't have a lot of other options.
2. There are 9 dentists in this clinic, I'm not certain that I would see this same dentist every time.
3. They didn't make me remove my stationary rings for the x-rays. I have a cartilage ring in my left ear and a tragus ring in my right and it takes a small tool to take them out; every other dentist has told me that metal tends to retain radiation, and made me take them out.
4. There aren't any actual rooms there. One side of the building simply has a few dozen walls about 10 feet apart, with a chair and equipment between each one. The support friend that was with me called it "a factory".
5. After the x-rays, when I was told that this dentist could actually pull it that morning, they took me up front to pay, BEFORE they even numbed me. It's a big, very busy place, and I assume it would be quite easy for a patient to simply walk out after a procedure, so I do understand. But, while I was very happy with how it turned out, I wasn't comfortable paying for a service before I knew that it would be satisfactory. What if I had had a panic attack, and been forced to leave before the extraction?
6. I went prepared to pay for just a consultation. The whole thing ended up being about what I thought it would cost--office visit, x-rays, and extraction--but they wouldn't work with me on the payment, even to allow me to bring the rest of it in the next day. My friend covered it for me, and I reimbursed him afterward.
7. This may seem like a small thing, but it's stayed with me: on the floor next to one wall of the cubicle-type room I was in, there was a large, opened plastic container with blue fluid in it. I don't know what it was, but it didn't seem very professional to have an open container of any type of substance on the floor.


It may be moot, since I'll likely need to find a place that will set up a payment plan for the more extensive work that I need done. But, even with the above-referenced misgivings, I would still probably keep going back, just to see this one dentist. That's how thrilled I am to have finally met one that treated me well!

Ok I agree this is not your dental home but great that you found someone who cared enough to get you numb despite it being such a factory. You are right you probably can't guarantee who you see so it is not a solution. Keep looking.

On the up side, there are other things that need to be done before the extensive denture/bridge/etc. work. For example, I have an upper wisdom tooth that will need to come out; I do plan to call and ask for the same dentist for that, and I feel unbelievably comforted to know that I don't have to be so afraid and that I can get that done WITHOUT being in intense pain first.
It's very weird, but this one dentist has changed so many things for me!

Ibuprofen RX is 800 mg. You can take 4 over the counter advil which is the same thing. I buy walmart brand and take way too many but as long as 6 hours passes between doses you can just buy them.

Also alternating advil and Tylenol is great for pain and will break fever gist take four advil then three hours later take two extra strength Tylenol and then three hours, four more advil. So long as six hours is between advil doses it's okay. I asked my doctor. Advil can upset the tummy so I take omeprezole with it. I hate pain and no it too well.