the second of many. and im terrified.

its the dentists or death.

Hi. Well after 15 years of avoiding the dentist due to fear i have made an appointment for today at 2pm and my panic is threatening to spiral out of control! My teeth are disgusting and I have lost all the self esteem and confidence I once had. When I was 5 I had to get all my teeth out due to my dentist at the time ruining them and I can still remember waking up in the hospital on a blood soaked pillow! Then when I was 16 I had a molar tooth pulled out that hadnt been numbed properly and the agony was like nothing on earth, even though I told the dentist he just continued till it was out. I havent been back since. So ive got an abcess and my teeth are awful and I felt like I had had enough, it was either the dentists or death. I worked up the courage over three days! pathetic! to register for one near me and tried to explain my fears but what i didnt expect was to be given an appointment for the next day! Im humiliated about opening my mouth for the dentist as I never show my teeth now. Im thirty now and gave up my career as a wedding photographer as I had lost confidence in myself whilst speaking to others and I now work in a shop. I think its too late but i have to try. Apologies for this rant but I stumbled across this site and felt like people here might know how I was feeling. And just to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Re: its the dentists or death.

Hi divinityitself

Well, what can I say by way of reassurance....firstly that if they continue to work on you after you have indicated you are in pain and asked them to stop, they have technically committed an assault....so that shouldn't happen again unless they wish to risk being struck off.....I take it you are in the UK?

The abscess may need to be treated with antibiotics for a few days before working on the tooth - so maybe not a lot will happen at tomorrow's appointment. You could just ask to have it as a 'chat only' so you can discuss your dental fears and they can explain how they can help you.

If you don't like the dentist you meet tomorrow, just try another, there are plenty out there. If you want someone to take things at a slow pace, it is easier to find this in the private sector, as NHS dentists tend to be very busy and don't have much time for TLC (that's why some of us refuse to use them as adults lol)

Your phobia is rooted in bad experiences and as such pretty rational. The good news is that modern dentistry need not involve any pain at all even with just local anasthetic but unfortunately not all dentists are capable of achieving this.
So keep an open mind and don't feel you have to just stick with whoever you get tomorrow...you would ideally only have treatment with a dentist you feel you like and trust having discussed your history. Embarrassment is also very common so don't stay if you get a bad attitude from the dentist...it is their job to help you.

Best wishes - let us know how it goes.

Re: its the dentists or death.

Thanks for replying Brit. It's only 3 hours now till my appointment and my stomach is churning! Yes Im in the Uk, (Scotland). Unfortunately for me the private sector isnt really an option budget wise. I'll just have to see how i get on today, wish me luck! And thanks again.

Re: its the dentists or death.

good luck !! hopefully by the time you are reading this, you will have been to your appointment and be wearing a HUGE grin full of pride for how brave you've been today, i know how hard is it just to TINK about making an appointment with the dentist, let alone attending, sitting in the chair, opening my mouth, and then getting anything done. so well done !!! i really hope you are in less pain than before and are filled with more confidence and hope than this morning !

Re: its the dentists or death.

Hope it went ok for you! Well done for getting this far, you should feel proud of yourself for what you've achieved!

Re: its the dentists or death.

divinityitself said:

when I was 16 I had a molar tooth pulled out that hadnt been numbed properly and the agony was like nothing on earth, even though I told the dentist he just continued till it was out.

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As brit wrote, this dentist assaulted you, traumatized you.
However, there are many dentists who are sensitive, attentive and patience.
You deserve the best dental care according to your concerns and needs.
Don't give up until you find the right dentist for you. They are out there.

Re: its the dentists or death.

Hi guys, i cant thank you enough for your words of support! my appointment went well. The dentist was supportive and sentitive and i feel so much better having finally went in! I need a lot of work but just getting through that initial opening my mouth moment has been a revelation! Im still so scared about the work needing done, but maybe, just maybe i can see a light at the end! I want my life back and i think i might just get it. I will keep you all updated with my progress. you guys are awesome. i could never tell the people in my life what i was going through but everyone here has been excellent. This site has been a great help. have a good night guys! cheers, col.

Re: its the dentists or death.

Pleased it went well - keep in touch. Congrats to you for going along as well

well, after my first visit to the dentist in over 10 years last week i have my second today at 3pm. Supposed to get a pulp extraction? But the antiobiotics prscribed didnt get rid of my abscess so im worried about whats going to happen. Last week was a massive step for me and i felt elated at the time but after hearing about all the work i need done (fillings aplenty and three pulp extractions plus one crown) im sstarting to regress into my denial that if i just ignore it it will all go away! After i went in i started to dream about giving big cheeky toothy grins to all and sundry but now it seems like a pipedream. This is the hardest thing i've ever done and i dont want to fail to grasp this last chance to get my life back but god im scared.

divinityitself said:

This is the hardest thing i've ever done and i dont want to fail to grasp this last chance to get my life back but god im scared.

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Share this fact with your dentist...and maybe start with something simple like a small filling if you are not currently in pain. Good luck.