Can't even ask for a brochure without shaking

I currently have a dentist, a great dentist - I am still scared - but it is manageable. But I think he is going to be retiring at the end of the year (at the very latest - next year), since he has been cutting days from his work week for the last couple years and is down to 2. I can't go to the other doctor at his practice (whom I've nicknamed - evil meanie man), and had a very bad experience with a dentist (I was crying as I left) that was filling in or something for my dentist - so I have to find a new dentist.
I have toothache (which I sat on for a month or so, but I've made an appt to have it fixed next week), which reminded me about maybe losing my dentist
I know that if I don't have one ready to go - I will stop going for another 7 years or something until I am in incrutiating pain. I don't want to go through that again.
But I thought - surely I am OK now - I will go and get some business cards and brochures of Dentist's near me so I can get a 1st impression.
It was horrible - I was physically shaking just talking to the receiptionist. It was humiliating. I thought I had improved so much - but turns out - I haven't. I am no better then I was 10 years ago - except with better teeth (regular appointments will do that).
I just don't know what I am going to do.

Hi Kaekae
This is entirely understandable. I have never been phobic since I have always attended regularly but trying out new dentists is always very nervewracking..even if you just go for a chat before 'signing up'.
I currently have close to zero nerves for anything at my current practice as I like and trust them 110%. If I had to find another dentist (say because I moved house), I would look for all the same factors and would start with websites so as to not waste my time in places with the wrong philosophy.

Also ask friends for recommendations. Another thought - you have clearly realised that 'all dentists are not the same' , how about asking your current dentist to recommend someone else like him...he must know lots of dentists in the area.

Don't worry there will be someone out there who is right for you..you just have to find them and if the first you try is not the one, no matter, you can try another until you are happy.
Kudos to you for your regular attendence - again much easier if you like and trust your dentist/hygienist/practice.
Any new dentist who has the knack for putting you at ease like your current one, will mean that you have indeed made lots of progress despite you thinking otherwise.

What are the main things you want your new ideal dentist to do/be/services to offer?

I thought about asking my dentist about others - but ... then it makes it seem like I don't like the practice. I do - the ladies are very nice, I just am terrified of the other dentists there (bad experiences). Besides, I don't want him to get ideas about retiring if he doesn't have them already (he is is probably in his late 60s)
I think I may have found a potential practice. I went on the way home on Tuesday - didn't have time to think just pulled over. That helped - the thinking is always the hardest part for me. I dwell. I was able to talk like a normal person, almost.
The woman at the desk was nice and said they work with little kids (and they don't do sedation - which I wouldn't want to go to a dentist who thought the best cure for a phobia was to knock someone out). The practice is old, but the building is brand new (so that means that they have patients who like them enough to keep coming back).
I haven't met the dentists there, so I can't say for certain. I think I am going to give it awhile, and get up the nerve to email the practice.
I am going to have to think seriously about what I want and don't want in a dentist. What I want is my dentist not to retire - but I don't think that will happen.