Fear

I have not been to a dentist in 25 years. I'm am near tears just thinking about it. Both my parents lost their teeth at young ages and I never remember my parents going in for cleanings. The last time I had an appointment, I was about 13 and I was so upset my Dad let me skip it. That was my last cleaning. I know I have gum problems, and my fillings fell out years ago. I brush, but my roots are showing and I have sensitive teeth a lot of the time.

I am not afraid of the pain, needles, I am scared out of my mind to loose a tooth, either through extraction or tooth loss. When I was a child my dentist pulled 4 of my teeth and filled 4 others and when I cried he shook me so hard. I got off easy. He slapped another kid right across the face. To this day I cannot go back to any dentist. My kids have excellent teeth, never a cavity, but I'm ashamed that I'm going to be loose teeth at middle age and end up with dentures. I remember my mother so young having a set and I was always bothered by them. I'm afraid the first visit the dentist is going to tell me I have to have teeth pulled, especially the front ones. I cannot face that. My husband had two back teeth pulled (the rest are in perfect shape) and it was all I could do for three days to now throw up. I could barely get near him. I couldn't be in the room when he cared for the healing of gums where the teeth had been taken out.

I honestly don't know what to do. My kid's dentist is kind and patient, but I don't know how I can walk it and sit in that chair.

I think you have to share all this with your dentist. Communication is the key to a successful outcome.
You don't know how you can walk in and sit in the chair - well don't. For the first visit see him away from the chair so you can explain all your fears. If you can't explain them write them down and give it to him. If you can't walk in to the surgery - email him. Then take it from there - take baby steps.
Keep us posted

Does your kid's dentist see adults? Do you go along with him?
The key is to find the right dentist for you but depending on what treatment you could benefit from, you would also have to come to terms with maybe losing some teeth. Many dentists are good at helping you cope with the actual treatment, I don't think they get much training in helping with the psychological impact. Often though it is a positive outcome even if you do lose teeth because you get back the ability to smile and the chance to be painfree.

Your childhood dentist assaulted you basically - that wasn't normal behaviour for a dentist even back then, it was delinquent even criminal behaviour. Don't let that one bad individual spoil the rest of your life. If you are in the USA, avoid Corporate Dental Chains when choosing your dentist. Go to an established family dentist with their own practice and good reputation.
See your prospective dentist 'just for a chat' and share your history and take it from there.

Don't let that one bad individual spoil the rest of your life.

Your childhood dentist sounds just like mine. He was the reason I didn't see another dentist for way over 20 years. I knew I was storing up dental problems and I started to think, "Why should that ******* still be controlling me and compromising my health all these years down the line? I can stand up for myself now...and, if need be, I can run a heck of a lot faster!" So I was starting to think I wanted to finally defeat the fear and panic he left me with. It sounds like you are in that frame of mind too. I think that's the first step. Not that I am an expert! Then a friend of mine said how kind and patient her new dentist was. To cut a VERY long story short, I did eventually see him and, much to my surprise, didn't need any extractions. I said when I booked the first appointment that I was terrified, and everyone was really laid-back about it. Your kid's dentist sounds nice. The ones who are good with kids seem to be more patient and more approachable. I would have a chat with him and try not to worry about the extraction scenario too soon. Cross that bridge if you come to it! Good luck.