Here we go again...

So, I have an appointment to see a new dentist tomorrow. It's been booked for almost a month now, but it somehow still seems to have crept up on me and taken me surprise that I'm doing this TOMORROW!! It's just a consultation, but I'm still so nervous!

I'm worried about: will I be able to find the place? Will I get there on time?! What will this dentist be like? (Will he be kind? Will he get annoyed with me? Will I be able to trust him?) What will the others - receptionists, maybe nurses etc - be like? What will I be like (will I shake or burst into tears or have a panic attack or generally make a fool of myself?!) How am I going to explain about my 'issues'? What will he say when I do? What treatment will he say I need on my 'limbo' tooth? (And when will I need it and what will it cost?) Will he find anything else wrong or tell me off about anything? What am I going to do if I don't think he's going to be the right dentist for me? ...and that's just in the last five minutes!

I think I'm partly getting worked up becuase I feel like there's so much riding on it. Fristly, because I really didn't want to leave my last practice, and I'm so fearful that I'll never be able to find anyone else who will want and be able to help me. Now, this guy I'm seeing tomorrow was recommended by my old dentist, who fully knows both him and my needs, and his bio on the practice website says he has a special interest in the 'management' (which is a horrible word, but I'm assuming is just dentist speak for helping!) of anxious and phobic people - in other words, he should be just the kind of dentist I'm hoping for. But, anxiety being what it is, he's still a monster in my head until proven otherwise!

Also, the temporary filling in my one not-yet-dealt-with tooth has been gradually falling to bits, and I've been living for the last few months in constant fear that it would break off completely and I'd be suddenly stuck needing to see a dentist but with nowhere to go! I'm pretty sure it won't last much longer (half has been in since February!), so it feels URGENT that I find a dentist asap...which why I suppose it's good that I've now got an appointment to go to...but then again, that reminds me, I'm going to the dentist tomorrow!!!

*Breathe.*

Hmmm....do I have to go?!?!

P.S. I do feel guilty asking for support when I've not been able to contribute much here lately - life's got on top of me and I've hardly had chance to breathe, let alone post on here! Hope you understand.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Don't feel guilty...you've given more than your share of support to this crowd. You have earned the right to "vent"!
Sometimes I think that ANXIETY is the most" painful" experience. So hard to relieve, near impossible to control, and downright debilitating. BUT....it's transient. It DOES go away. When you walk into that office for the first time, you begin to slay the dragon. You begin to eat that elephant...one bite at a time. There will only be ONE first time with this new dentist; either he/she's "the one" or you move on. So just focus on getting thru that one-and-only "first" time.
Best, best, BEST wishes. Just keep breathing deep.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Yes 'management' is just dentist-speak for 'help'.
If he is recommended by an old dentist you liked, you should be ok I would have thought.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Thanks a lot guys. The support really helps.

Well...I went! We did get lost and we did arrive late, and I was a wreck. But I held it together, apart from the odd shake and a few tears at the end of the appointment, and I managed to do everything I was asked to do.

And, most importantly, I think I may be ok at this place...maybe! I really didn't like the fact it was so huge - there were lots of receptionists, lots of waiting rooms, a maze of rooms and corridors and so many people everywhere. My last practice was much smaller, and that felt far less scary, especially as I got to know people there.

But the nurse and dentist I saw were both very nice to me - friendly, patient, gentle etc. I didn't have that immediate sense of ease I look for, but I did see the potential to get there eventually. I've been reminding myself that my first appointment with my last dentist was something of a disaster, but a few months later I was crying over having to leave! My new dentist (D4, I suppose, if I'm keeping track!) told me he's known D3 well for years, and he knows my old (beloved!) hygienist too...and I told him that D3 had promised he'd be as good as her, which he said he'd try to live up to!

I did have an enormous inner freak-out when, not long into the appointment, he just casually went from talking about my tooth to planning appointments to treat it! My first thought was: "What?! But I've only just met you! There's no way I can let you do any of that to me!!" I was still getting used to the fact I was just there at all! But this tooth does need treating, and though I'd prefer to be able to build a relationship (and get used to the place etc) before any treatment, I'm not sure that's really practical.

I didn't know what to do except to go along with it anyway....so, I now have two appointments booked for January!!!! He is hoping he can save the tooth (which is good news!), so the first appointment is for a root canal filling, as well as a scale and polish, under IV sedation. If, when he gets inside, he thinks the tooth wouldn't last long enough to be worth the cost etc, then he'll extract it instead - as long as I agree to that before I'm sedated. I don't like the uncertainty of that, but it does seem the best way.

Well, as usual, I've written far too much so I'd best stop there! So glad I can come on here and share, though. Thanks.

P.S. Apologies for any typos/plain nonsense above- I've fallen asleep at least twice while writing this, so it may not be entirely coherent!

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Building up a relationship is a good thing yes... my second consultation I felt very at ease with and he had already had options for me withOUT even looking at my teeth. All I brought him were full mouth X-rays and he took it from there. It wasn't until 3 days ago that he actually got a chance to full look in my mouth and see what was going on. And to my surprise he said he could actually save some of my teeth.

I had met with him 4 times prior to this appointment and each time he let me stand where I wanted to, talk about anything, any concern, ring him whenever I felt like it, interrupt him if he was with a patient. It was such a relief from the first dentist I went to. But with the first appointment, just meeting him he already had plans and options in mind. So I knew he was eager to treat me (or probably after the heaps of money I'm sinking into his practice!) LOL!!! Nah he's great!

I'm also being sedated for my appts. (orally tho) but it so helps ease my mind because I'm such a severe gagger which he has come to realise when I went for impressions.

Anyway, if you feel good with this one, go for it. Bedside manner is a plus, patients is a plus, trust and listening... without these key factors in a dentist, you just got the run of the mill everyday doctor.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

You've (thankfully, selfish on my part!) been on this journey for a while, so I truly cannot make any comments other than:
*AWESOME!!!!
*DOUBLE AWESOME!!!
*You know what feels right for you. You know.
*TRIPLE AWESOME GOOD JOB!!!!!
*You know, don't you? And I agree.
Hugs across the Big Pond.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Thank you both!

45andAfraid - Your dentist sounds great! I would prefer to have more appointments to try to build a relationship with mine before he starts treating me, but I'd be too embarassed to ask for that! (Was thinking, I wouldn't know how to ask "Can I see you again?!" without it sounding wrong! lol ) I guess cost is a factor too, since yesterday's consulation was free, but if I had more I'd have to pay for them.

Anyway, knowing I'm going to have IV sedation again makes a big difference - I think I'll need to be a lot more sure of him before I can let him do anything unsedated (I was a wreck just letting him look in my mouth yesterday), but if the sedation appointment(s) go well then hopefully we can build from there. I may also ask if it's ok for me to have his email address - with my last dentist, just knowing I could email her if ever I needed to (I didn't very often) was really reassuring.

mghstl - thank you thank you thank you! Your posts always make me smile. And that was just what I needed to hear!

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Ugh, I'm an idiot!!! I just, for no good reason, looked up my old dental practice on Facebook....and proceeded to get really upset about the fact I'm probably never going to go there again!

I don't know why I looked or why I'm so upset!

What a silly girl.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Well, I'm really proud of myself today!

I'm still feeling stupidly upset about things myself () - but the main event is that one of the children in school cornered me to tell me about...and show me...a tooth she's having taking out tonight!! And not only did I manage not to gag, or look away too obviously, but I was also all calm and reassuring, and even seemed successfully to convince her she shouldn't be worried! (Fortunately, she wasn't too bad in the first place.) Best I've ever handled that kind of situation I think!

Now, if only I could believe my own advice...

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Pianimo said:

Ugh, I'm an idiot!!! I just, for no good reason, looked up my old dental practice on Facebook....and proceeded to get really upset about the fact I'm probably never going to go there again!

I don't know why I looked or why I'm so upset!

What a silly girl.

Click to expand...

Youre not an idiot, or a silly girl! And infact today Ive been racking my brains trying to think of the name of my old dentist so I could Google her and see if she had gone back to her old practice, come back to NHS.. Or just anything within reach tbh! You just know Im going to be looking inside every old purse for a stray appointment card that has her name on!! The chances of anything positive coming out of this is slim to none, but thats not going to change anything and Im still going to do it!! lol

Well done on your last post btw

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Thanks nikki06!

I did some quite impressive online detective work (if I do say so myself!) when I first realised I'd have to leave my old practice, since I knew both my dentist and hygienist worked at other practices too, and I wanted to find out if I could see them somewhere else (cheaper) instead! All to no avail - none of the other places turned out to be suitable for me - but at least I knew I'd left no stone unturned!

This time I just spent ages reading all their FB posts from the last few months, and getting really upset that I don't 'belong' to them any more! Not the most helpful way to spend an evening, but change and me don't go well together!

Has your search turned anything up?!

(To start with, apologies - I'm sure this post will be long. Mine always are. Sorry! )

Oh help.

I've an appointment coming up on Wednesday and I'm starting to panic! I've been partly actually willing and wanting the date to come round, because the temporary filling in the tooth in question is barely holding out (little wonder, since half of it has been in for nearly a year!) and I've started having occasional twinges of sensitivity/pain as a result; plus I can't clean in between the cracks in the filling, so it's getting a bit unpleasant.

But now the appointment's so close, I've started freaking out! It's for either RCT or an extraction - he's going to see if he can save the tooth, and remove it if not - and I'm finding it really hard to cope with not knowing whether I'm going to walk out with a tooth missing or not, and knowing that I have to trust the dentist to make the decision for me (I'm having IV sedation so I have to give consent before he starts treatment). With my old dentist (D3, for those who were following back then) it wouldn't have been so bad, but I've only met this guy once, so I've just not had a chance to build up trust with him yet.

In fact, for me, meeting this D4 for 10 minutes then walking out with a treatment plan felt really rushed. I mean, I can remind myself that he was recommended by D3 (they know each other really well), and he was nice to me in the brief time I saw him, but unfortunately that's still no subsitute for actually building a relationship of trust. And for various reasons the earliest they could book me in for was now, two months later, so I can barely even remember what he looks like!

So, it just feels like a huge step into a scary unkown - new dentist, new practice... When I had my first treatment appointment at my old practice, I'd only met D3 once, but I'd been to the practice 4 times, so at least I was going somewhere familiar and therefore a bit more 'safe'. I've only been to this place once before, and actually I didn't really like it because it's huge, and I felt quite lost, unimportant etc.

But I thought, despite all that, I'd be ok because I'm having IV sedation, which I've had before and know it works for me. Major point of reassurance. Except now I'm having all sorts of worries about that, most of which I didn't even have before: what if I say something really embarrassing? Or say something secret/private? What if something goes wrong and I'm too dopey to stop it? Or I feel pain and can't stop it? etc

Plus, of course, all the usual dental anxiety is there. So, I really, really, really don't want to go.

Oh dear. Anyone got any motivation going spare?

And now it's the night before. I'm a mess. Don't know if I can do this...

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

New here but I feel ya. I have an appointment friday to hopefully get an upper molar extracted. I am scared beyond scared. Wishing you the best, and looking forward to hearing how it goes.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Thanks tracy3095. I do appreciate the support.

I may be an 'old' member, but at the moment I'm feeling the fear just like when I was new!
Can't stop fretting.

Currently willing tomorrow not to come...but I suspect I won't be too successful there!

Hope your appointment goes well too.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Hey ! Wishing you well for today, I too am beyond fearful about an appointment tomorrow...don't know if it is extraction, RC or filling or what really....warrghh.

I hope you manage to get through it without feeling too panicked.

Carys

(P.S. my daughter, bless her, quite 'happily' and with minimum concern had 4 molars extracted a few months ago, as part of her orthodontic treatment. Her first ever injections, or any dental work at all. I so WISH I could be brave like her, she was amazing !!! )

Well, I went.

Since then I've felt awful - in pain and kept crying, until I fell asleep! But I'm proud of myself for going.


So, what happened:

• The dentist (D4) decided to save the tooth, which is techincally what I wanted. But it contradicts what D3 (my previous dentist) said, so I'm not sure I trust him to be right. And I can't afford (money-wise) for him to be wrong.
• I had some pain and discomfort during the treatment, which got better after he gave me a second injection, but I'm not sure it stopped completely (memory's hazy).
• They had me do some things I didn't want to do/was scared about - x-ray and impression, both of which I hate/fear cos of gagging. I got through both because of the sedation, but I felt a bit forced into it, and I found it upsetting (cried a bit during the impressions).
• D4 and his nurse were both 'nice' to me, but it felt sort of like polite-nice, rather than actually caring about me, if you know what I mean?
• Like last time, I felt rushed. I can't just walk into a dentist's room, sit in the chair and let him get straight on - I just can't cope with that. But that seemed to be the expectation.
• My next appointment is in 3 weeks, to have a crown fitted, and the scale and polish done (which he didn't fit in today). I don't know what the crown bit entails, and no-one has explained it to me. I'm not down to have sedation, so I asked the receptionist, and she said something like 'only really, extremely anxious people would need it' (and the implication is D4 thinks I shouldn't have it, since he didn't put it down). She did say that the appointment is long enough to have it, so if I follow the pre-sedation rules before I come, I can ask for it. But I now feel both too scared/embarassed to ask for sedation, and too scared to manage without it!
• I know I shouldn't, but I couldn't help keep comparing everything with my experience with D3. The thing is, now I know that that kind of treatment from and relationship with a dentist is possible, I don't want to settle for anything less.

Basically, right now, I don't want to go to my next appointment...or to D4 again, or to that place again! I don't want to keep having appointments that I get through, but I feel terrified before I go, unhappy while I'm there, and upset after I leave. But I can't go back to futile dentist-hunting again either.

And I feel so stupid, because when I try to think about what could've made it better today, mostly what I think of are little things: if the dentist had taken longer to talk to me before he started, without making me feel like I was holding him up; if he'd done the same when I was upset during the treatment; if the nurse had given me a hug or held my hand... I feel so pathetic and embarassed to admit I need stuff like this even on here, let alone to admit it to them. On the other hand, with my favourite people at my old practice, they made me feel completely safe and looked after, without making me feel stupid for needing it, and often without me having to ask for it.

But I need to stop thinking like this, because I can't go back there. I think the best thing to do is to find a way to contact D4 and explain to him how upset I am (I think he probably has no idea), then see how the next appointment goes. If he's willing/able to help me, I think I'll be ok. I'm still bearing in mind that D3 has known and worked with him for years, and she wouldn't recommend him so highly if he weren't really good - so there must be more to him than what I've seen. If it's going to be like today every time though, for whatever reason (him, time-limits in the practice, etc), then I'll have to decide what to do next.

...and here come the tears again. *Sigh* Seriously in need of a hug.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

I'll give you a hug. There there now you will be alright.
Could you e-mail the dental practice and explain how you felt before your next appointment. That way you could tell them how nervous you are. I have every sympathy for you.
Well done for the treatment you've had already. Give yourself a big pat on the back. If you don't feel you are numb enough, tell them before they start. My moto is rather too much than too little. It can be disheartening to feel how you felt, but maybe they didn't realise just how bad you felt. It is much easier to work on a well numbed and calm patient. So I think they would be willing to work with you to help you get the work done.
Sometimes when I'm in the chair having work done I try say my 2 times tables. Easy you might say, I never get to the end. But it takes my mind off what is being done a bit.

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

Thanks Carole.

I think contacting the dentist before I go is the best plan...I just need to pluck up courage to do that!

I like the times tables idea - when I've had medical procedures I've found difficult, I've recited song lyrics in my head, which is probably a similar thing. Mind you, while I'm sedated, I probably couldn't tell you what 2 x 2 is!

Right now, I just can't think about anything except the AWFUL toothache I've got! Ow ow ow ow!!!!! Don't know how I'm going to get through work, and I'm supposed to be going away for the weekend....really hope it stops by then!

Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)

HA! HA! I know what you mean I did say I try to recite my 2 times, my brain is so mushed I couldn't really tell you what 2x2 is either. But I do try.
Concentration level is NIL. Even a gold fish can manage more than that. They say they have a 3 minute memory. Go figure.
Put a man in a room, (or woman) give him a few shiny tools and BAM! all common sense goes out of the window.