Pianimo
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2011
- Messages
- 536
- Location
- UK
Re: Tomorrow! (Here we go again...)
Thanks for phrasing that for me. I like the way you've put it - it sounds so reasonable when you say it like that!
The difficulty is in me having the courage to say anything. I have GAD and one side of that for me is constantly fearing everyone disliking or thinking badly of or being angry with me etc, and huge fear of embarrassment (both mine and other people's). That's partly why I need so much reassurance and encouragement etc in my appoinments - the other part being the phobia, and they feed into each other. It also makes me terrified to say anything that could be seen as critical or demanding, or make me look stupid, or embarrass the other person. (Hence all the stressing over sending emails to the practice etc.) I'm scared that if I try to tell him how I feel, it'll make him annoyed with me or despise me.
So far in my appointments I've kind of been doing everything I could to try to please him (which has meant mostly ignoring/trying to hide my fear, since that's seemed to be what he wanted), whilst wishing it was the other way round! When I trust someone, I can start to let go of this, and feel I have 'permission' to say no or to voice my concerns etc, because I know they actually want me to tell them if I'm unhappy. I suppose it's a catch 22 at the minute in that, because I don't trust him yet, I don't feel 'safe' asking him for help; but if I don't ask and he doesn't change, I don't think I'll ever feel safe with him.
So I think I need to do this - I just don't know where to get the confidence from. I think I'll bottle it if I try to say something to his face. But if I wrote it down and gave it to him or something, I'd feel so pathetic. I think time may be a bit of an issue in this too - he always wants to get straight on when I go in the room (which I find very hard), then at the end he seems to expect me to leave straight away. When I've tried to talk, I've got the impression I'm holding him up.
Do you think it's better to email (I'd have to do it through the general address though), or write it down and take it with me, or to try to say it in person?
How about saying this is a very big deal for me to have treatment, I love how gentle you are in my mouth and attentive to my concerns. I'm trying hard to trust you and not be afraid, but I could use some encouragment now and then.
Thanks for phrasing that for me. I like the way you've put it - it sounds so reasonable when you say it like that!
The difficulty is in me having the courage to say anything. I have GAD and one side of that for me is constantly fearing everyone disliking or thinking badly of or being angry with me etc, and huge fear of embarrassment (both mine and other people's). That's partly why I need so much reassurance and encouragement etc in my appoinments - the other part being the phobia, and they feed into each other. It also makes me terrified to say anything that could be seen as critical or demanding, or make me look stupid, or embarrass the other person. (Hence all the stressing over sending emails to the practice etc.) I'm scared that if I try to tell him how I feel, it'll make him annoyed with me or despise me.
So far in my appointments I've kind of been doing everything I could to try to please him (which has meant mostly ignoring/trying to hide my fear, since that's seemed to be what he wanted), whilst wishing it was the other way round! When I trust someone, I can start to let go of this, and feel I have 'permission' to say no or to voice my concerns etc, because I know they actually want me to tell them if I'm unhappy. I suppose it's a catch 22 at the minute in that, because I don't trust him yet, I don't feel 'safe' asking him for help; but if I don't ask and he doesn't change, I don't think I'll ever feel safe with him.
So I think I need to do this - I just don't know where to get the confidence from. I think I'll bottle it if I try to say something to his face. But if I wrote it down and gave it to him or something, I'd feel so pathetic. I think time may be a bit of an issue in this too - he always wants to get straight on when I go in the room (which I find very hard), then at the end he seems to expect me to leave straight away. When I've tried to talk, I've got the impression I'm holding him up.
Do you think it's better to email (I'd have to do it through the general address though), or write it down and take it with me, or to try to say it in person?
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