Terrified and in massive pain! Need help BADLY!

Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Alright, sorry for the long post but here's my story.

Every word of it is true no matter how eaggerated it may sound, I am just presenting facts not blowing things out of proportion. I think what finally brought me here was the combination of eating too much last night and the fact that my front tooth is chipped and loose.

I wasn't always afraid of the denist. But my fear did start at a young age. When I was about 10 I needed braces which I actually couldn;t wait to get cause everyone else had them. First I needed work done to prepare my mouth for them. I got what is called a palet expander. It covered my top four back teeth and I had it in for maybe two or three months. I just remember the process being very fast. Anyway, when it was taken out was the start of my anxiety. The orthodontist promised me it wouldn't hurt and of course I believed him or rather wanted to, so I didn't put up a fight even as he removed it and three teeth along with it. No numbing agent, no the teeth were not permanant ones but nor were they loose. I actually screamed, keep in mind I was maybe 10 years old at this point.

The remaining tooth had become so rotted out that I needed a root canal. See what happened was when I brushed my teeth the toothpaste got into the expander but had no way of getting out, thus rotten tooth. We found out I needed a root canal the hard way, first I went to the rgular dentist who tried to fill the cavity but I was in way too much pain to let them continue. Then it was decided I needed a root canal. Two days later I was in the chair, getting the root canal. All I remember is insane pain with 7 shots of novicane directly in the roof of my mouth. But still at that point I was a good sport and just took it with a grain of salt, assuming that this would make it all better.

It did not. A few years passed and we found out that due to stress and other things in my life that I had acid reflux. No biggy, they put me on pills. A few more years pass and they decide that my root canal tooth needs a crown. Okay fine. Yeah they didn;t mention the minor gum surgery to lengthen the tooth to put the crown on nor did they inform me that I would be awake but numb during this. By this time I was 14 and in 9th grade. The fear was building.

By tenth grade, my acid reflux was worse. How does this play into my teeth? They were and still are erroding, despite the fact that I am on meds and do what I can to evade the errosion. Anyway back to 10th grade. My mother worked for a dentist at that time. I had become very scared of them but not terrified. Dr. S (Lets call him) was a jerk. At least to me, AND he was a friend of the family (Not good when your parents are all about having good kids with a good rep). So by this point I needed to have a lot of caities filled cause of my acid reflux.

Dr. S worked with me on several occasions. Very often he wouldn't numb me enough. I would ask him to either stop or give me more, but he wouldn;t. He would keep saying he was almost done and continue with no concern to me. One day I bit him. He refused to see me after that.

I went to another dentist, just once, who barely spoke english but managed to get all of my teeth in order in one session even though I was scared witless and shaking like the dickens the whole time.

A year or two passed and ther was another dentist, Dr. D. She was INSANELY nice to me, did A LOT of work on my mouth, bridges, caps, you name it. This didn't make my fear go away but it helped keep it at bay as she would explain everything to me and was always stopping to make sure I was okay. I barely remember any pain with her.

Then I turned 18 and was kicked out of the house. Developed a drug habit, wound up in a group home and eventually got sober and on government assistance. Don't get me started on how this happened or the hatred of my parents.

4 years pass, I refuse to see a dentist. At 22 my dad harps on me enough to get me to go but he won't use his fancy lawyer insurance to cover me like my sisters, so I get a medicare dentist who once again barely speaks any english. I'm not saying you can't be good at dentistry without knowing English but it does no good to me to have a dentist who cannot explain every little detail to me and keep my fears away.

I do what I need to do with him, crying the whole time.

Skip to now, about 5 years later. Almost every tooth in my mouth has had a filling in one way or the other since I was a kid. About two years ago one of the fillings in one of my back teeth came out and I was scared livid to tell anyone or go to a dentist. The tooth started to fall apart slowly but surely. Then it started to infect the teeth around it. As much pain as I was in I just delt with it, afraid to go to the dentist.

Finally I couldn't take it any more and sucked it up and went earlier this year. I ended up needing six extractions. As you can imagine I flipped out. Not only could I not see myself ever doing that, but also I had very little options as to who I could see due to medicade.

I found a dentist who didn't even want to sedate me to pull them. I said (and I cleaned up the language here) HECK no! So he said sedation would be 350 dollars out of pocket. Which I had to beg for off of a good friend of mine who knew the predicament. Seriously folks, the anxiety and fear before the actual appointment had me honestly contemplating suicide. Twice. I called my therapist and we worked through it but man I was freaked. So in the end I got the teeth out, having paid my therapist to take me to and from the appointment.

Here I sit now, missing six teeth, and am in pain with the one that is cracked and loose, and yet I would still rather shoot myself in the foot than take care of it. I am 27 years old.

Now, what is Emetophobia you ask? It's a severe phobia of vomiting, as severe as my fear of the dentist, which you can see it quite over the top and severe. How do they combine? The fact that the dentist wants to stick things in your mouth could (and has in me) trigger a gag reflex to make you throw up. I have had emetophobia ever since I can remember and am a member of a forum for that too.

These things combined are not good. I am scared to death of going back to the dentist to get a partial for my teeth, because I am afraid she'll refuse to give it to me if I don't get the rest of my teeth taken care of. As far as I know I have 11 cavities that range from mild to severe. Yet I refuse to go back in, even for the sake of being able to chew better.

I know I am being silly and will probably lose all my teeth by 35 or 40 with the factor of acid reflux and a hiatal hernia speeding it up, yet I cannot do anything about it but cry. Now here's the kicker.

My mother (On top of other things) places a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE importance on having good teeth. That's why they spent so much money out of pocket when I was a kid to make sure all of my teeth were good. I was taught Bad teeth equals ugly. It's been drilled into my brain that with false teeth I will be ugly, and looked upon as poorly educated to society. Not saying that's the truth but that's what I was raised to believe and that's what sticks with me.

So I am having this inner struggle, not wanting to be this horribly ugly, hideous monster in the eyes of my parents, but scared to the ever loving hell of the dentist. I don't know what to do at this point. I am at my wits end and scared. Sedation dentistry is out of my reach by a long shot and I will not dare go through getting more fillings from a cold uncaring dentist again. Even if I could see my ideal dentist Dr. D again, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to go due to anxiety and fear. Plus I am on medication for anxiety and have been prescribed sedatives for use as needed but I still will not go. THe question is....what do I do now?

~Monica

Re: Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Hi there & ,
Youv'e come to the right place. I to am young 26 in one month and have had 7 teeth extracted, all back teeth. All my teeth are so bad now I have to go get dentures in 1 month. I want to first say congrats on taking steps to get your life straight. I'm glad you have your therapist who will be there for you.
The only thing I know to say about the dentures is now they make them so much better than they used to it's really not that easy to tell someone is wearing them unless you see them with them out.
For now to help with physical pain- have you tried clove oil? You can get it at any local pharmacy for about $10-$15, and the bottle lasts quite a while. It will numb your gums and lips and fingers and quite frankly anything else it touches so be careful. I apply it with a cotton q-tip to keep from getting bacteria in the extraction site. I use it everyday to help with pain and discomfort. Also try using a black tea bag, it can also have a soothing effect to inflammed areas on the gums. (and it you can't get clove oil you can get whole cloves from the gracery store and the end that looks like little fingers crush up and mix with warm water and use that liqued-it will work, just not as strong as the oil.
As for your parents opinion, you really need to do what's best for you, not them...and only you can determine what is best for you. I know that's hard to swallow, as I have had to go against my parents in my dental plan. It's good to find people who can support you in whatever decision you make, like your therapist and your friend. I have a church family that help me and support me. Surround yourself with positive people, you'de be supprised at how much that helps. It's the only thing that allows me to go forward with my dental care. Hang in there, there are a lot of good people on here, you have taken a good first step. Hope this helps...

Re: Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Thank you for the welcome. As little as I see my parents and as much as I hate them, I wonder why I have such a strong feeling about why their opinions matter. As far as my teeth stand right now I have what I call my church going teeth (All the front ones that are visible when I talk are intact and healthy) but that's as much as I can say for the health of my teeth. I am a smoker and a soda drinker, and after reading the thing about fear of brushing your teeth on this site I was just like THANK GOD I'm not the only one. My teeth are at the point of crumbling and I am afraid that brushing them will cause them to crumble more as unfounded as those fears are. What's even harder is I live with a roommate who is a nazi about cleaning his teeth and so I have to pretend like I take really good care of mine when in fact I'm just afraid to go in there.

I have had my teeth crumble before, come off in little chunks until there was basically nothing there. The chipped tooth I mentioned in my OP is a little off to the side in the front bottom, not easily visible but very noticeable to me. It's definitely loose, at least part of it, and I know it'll either come off today or tomorrow while eating and what's left of it is like this brown nub. Why the dentist didn't order THAT one pulled when I got my 6 other teeth out I don't know.

My dad always liked to tell me about the horrors of dentures and I am so scared to get them now. I mean even if I did get all my teeth yanked and get dentures, I would have to go a period of time without any teeth at all and the idea scares me like you wouldn't believe and yet it also scares me to take proper care of my teeth so I really don't know what to do. If I could just get implants I would be happy but those cost A LOT of money. I would never EVER want ANYONE to know I had dentures, it would be a huge shame to me. I just, am in a catch-22 you know?

I mean I am ashamed to admit that I am poor at gentle hygiene and have never admitted it in writing or to anyone but I feel like you guys would understand as you are in the same boat as me and it's right there, plain as day in the fears section. I don't know what to do and I am just so freaked out, is there any hope?

(Sorry for the long posts)

Re: Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Hi there...

You're not alone.
I'm 45 and havent' been to the dentist in over 21 years and I'm just beginning my process.
I too, have emetophobia and I have a very severe gag reflex just in everyday life so you can imagine how afraid I am to go.

But heaps of numbing agents and sedation will get me through... I hope!!

I have to go for impressions and I'm scared shitless. I think I can manage the rest of the procedures... but in a nutshell, I need all my teeth removed and was going to be fitted for dentures, but I can't wear them so I have to go the expensive route and get implants and then partials as a full mouth of implants is just WAY too much for my pocket. I can barely afford the 12 implants I'm getting.

All this isn't easy - I can't relate to any childhood traumas' like yours- I never had any as a kid. Only as a teen and a young adult in my 20's is my bad experiences.

But I gotta get this done because my health is important. And it surely sucks not to be able to eat properly. I miss steak! I miss eating nuts.... stuff like that.

Keep us updated.

Re: Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Thanks for the response.

As for missing eating chips and nuts and all that, I do I really do, but I am so scared of going in that I am more than willing to give that up until I can't stand it any more. I find that I am actually hating myself now for having missing teeth. Like I said, to look at me you would have no idea that I have had these teeth removed but I know and I feel absolutely hideous. I don't even like to smile anymore though my smile is perfectly fine. I find myself playing the lottery just praying I win enough to afford sedation while they replace my teeth with implants. Yeah how sad is that? I don't even care about the jackpot I just want about 250k to fix my teeth.

I feel like I am sounding vain but I was raised with my parents placing mega importance on body image and looks. In fact both of my sisters have eating disorders and I really blame my mother for it because of the way she characterizes people that she considers fat. She's also one of those people who tell me I am being ridiculous and I should just be an adult and go. She has no idea how deep the fear stems.

I find that if I know that I can be sedated things go A LOT smoother for me. When I went in for the extractions I was nervous but before he started doing anything he gave me a bit of the sedation and I immediately relaxed and it was cake from there. The idea of going in without any means of IV sedation scares the shit out of me. The gas they offer makes me nauseous and as an emetophobic that's a huge no-no. I had to beg for anti-emetics just to take the percocet I was prescribed for the two months I was on it. Vicodin makes me violently ill so I can't take that, and percocet upsets my stomach a little but not too much.

Hell, when I went in for every visit just for the doctor to look in my mouth and not do anything but check my healing progress I had to double dose the klonopin I use. At one point after the extractions I had ran out of percocet and although I was told to call for a refill they made me come in. I sat in the office waiting for an hour, every second of it I thought of getting up and leaving but I needed those pain killers as I was just dying from pain without them. I cried when I got my stitches out and it didn't even hurt. I mean I am just a wreck now when it comes to the dentist.

This tooth that is loose, I have been making excuses not to eat in front of my roommate for fear that it'll come out when I am eating and I will not be able to hide it from him. He is very aware of my teeth problems and actually paid for me to get the sedation for the extractions, but I am even wary of what he thinks. I hate feeling this way, and if anyone were to even suggest to me that I don't need sedation to get through an appointment, I would laugh at them. I have actually become physically violent from the pain I have been through in the chair, beyond biting. I mean grabbing hands, and shoving at the worst. No I have never strangled or punched someone but at some points I just knew that they had to stop, they wouldn't, and I had to prevent them from continuing at all costs.

My last conscious dentist appointment I was given .5mg of valium which I doubled for the proceedure. I still left the dentist chair shaking and crying. Something is severely wrong with me or something if I can double dose my klonopin and still have anxiety attacks to the point of almost passing out in the chair. I bring my iPod and my iPad to the appointments, try to watch videos and listen to music but even that doesn't distract me.

I am not a wimp when it comes to pain either. Every three months I get severe ovarian cysts and usually end up in the ER. I have several tattoos, so it's clear I am not afraid of needles or pain. I lived with severely rotten and exposed teeth for years, not being able to chew for almost 6 months because I was so scared and only went in because I was at a point where I was losing weight.

I don't know what to do any more. I am at the end of my rope but I don't know how to get past the fear of even taking care of my teeth properly. The memories of being a kid and my mom holding me down and brushing my teeth for me is just too much, and is triggered when I pick up a toothbrush. All the fear an anxiety comes back and I just don't want to do it. On the rare occasion that I do brush them it's quick and probably not nearly what it needs to be.

I just want to be normal like everyone else. Have my own teeth, not be emetophobic, and suck it up and just go to the damn dentist. I just can't. I have expressed to my therapist that I just can't do it. Before I went in for the first time this year, I broke down in tears telling her how afraid I was. Just the mere thought of what I needed to go through made me want to down a bottle of klonopin with a bottle of vodka and just die. Sometimes I don't even want to live any more, just knowing that my teeth are so bad and that I'm too much of an idiot and coward to do a thing about it.

~Monica

Re: Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Hi!

I've been reading your posts and know exactly how you feel. I am 45 years old and haven't been to the dentist in about 15 years. I have a couple teeth that have broken off down to the gum line and some that are partially missing. I also have a loose lower tooth that keeps getting looser. It is now to the point where it's hard to eat. I would give anything to be able to eat an apple, an ear of corn, a sandwich, etc.

My fear of dentists has been growing over the years! I'm not sure why, as I really haven't had any horrible things happen to me when I was younger. I've just developed anxiety over the years and I think going to the dentist is part of it. I know I need to go and I feel so childish about it. I told my husband one day (in tears) that I'd rather die than have to go to the dentist! That's crazy when I say that out loud. I know I just need to suck it up and go, but I just can't.

I am just horribly embarassed that I let my teeth get this bad! I know I want to be sedated, which terrifies me as well. I've never been sedated! I think about my teeth 24/7 and I'm soooooooooo tired of living this way. I find myself staring at people's teeth now. I just want to have nice teeth, be happy and get on with my life!

This forum helps me and it's a relief to know I'm not alone! Hang in there and best of luck to you! We can do this!

Re: Emetophobia Plus Dental phobia is NOT a good combo!

Scared For Life said:

...........My dad always liked to tell me about the horrors of dentures and I am so scared to get them now. I mean even if I did get all my teeth yanked and get dentures, I would have to go a period of time without any teeth at all and the idea scares me like you wouldn't believe and yet it also scares me to take proper care of my teeth so I really don't know what to do. .........I don't know what to do and I am just so freaked out, is there any hope?

(Sorry for the long posts)

Click to expand...

I don't mind long posts, mine are always long to so it's cool. You made me chuckle when you said your "church goin teeth", I used to have church goin teeth to but, lost my church goin teeth about a year and a half ago when my top front middle tooth decided to crack and half of it break off. I actually have what I call "vampire teeth" on the bottom, they came in when I was like 16 but they came in in front of my other bottom teeth...then one of my top ones came in behind my top teeth,(thank God cause I'd really look like a vampire with top and bottom teeth in that position, lol. but question..If your front teeth are good and arent causing you problems then could you look into getting a partial denture? You would still have your front teeth and so no one would know or even be able to tell you have them. You would be the only one to know and it could be better than not having the teeth, being able to feel teeth with your tongue instead of the sides of your mouth and gums would be good. Why would you have to wait to get the plates, can you not get immediate dentures where they pull your teeth and do plates the same day? They will have to be relined and after all the swelling goes down, they recommend a year here where I'm at, you could get regular plates. I would suggest with the emetophobia if you need top and bottom done do one at a time so you can get used to having it in. Does your fear of getting a denture even if it's a partial plate weigh stronger or heavier than knowing you are missing teeth? I know it's got to be hard as either decision brings more fear... I understand about the brushing your teeth fear. I actually have to numb my mouth with the clove oil and I have now quit using toothpaste as it hurts when it touches them, even max strength sensidine (sp). I gag when I gargle so I swish with warm salt water and use a plain toothbrush and of course always have my bottle of clove oil handy....By the way good luck winning the lottery! That would be really great, you could get the implants and be sedated and not have to worry about goin into debt, or getting plates! .....As far as the earlier post about missing food, I would love to be able to eat crispy sourdough bread with warm garlic butter, nuts, crispy veggies, apples, & spinach salad with slivered almonds and blue cheese, things that are normal foods for me. I've been eating soft food like broth and rice, cottage cheese with milk and a few teaspoons of jello powder for flavor, and oatmeal, and boost meal replacement drinks for snacks (cause loosing 6-8 lbs a week for 5 weeks is not good for me, I've lost 97 lbs now, much needed but it feels like it's goin too fast) because I cant stand to have to chew anything. I occasionally can eat peanut butter with honey on bread without the crust if its really fresh bread that I can eat without chewing a whole lot. Too hot or too cold and it sends shooting pain signals so everything is slightly cool, room temp, or slightly warm......You asked me if there is any hope, Yes there is. You just coming here and facing your fears by talking and opening up to people shows that there is still hope in you, you may not always feel it but it is there.
Sara

Okay haven't posted in a long while cause things were fine, then completely at random, part of my tooth split from its base and now not only can I not eat, or talk properly, I can't tell ANYONE in my life about this. Either due to extreme humiliation, the round of "I told you so's" I'll get, or the fact that they have no sympathy to my fear of seeing the dentist and will only suggest that. Not to mention the fact that I am running out of excuses not to eat a damn thing and it's going to get suspicious in a very short period of time being that tomorrow and sunday are X-mas and my family is big on eating.

With the messed up situation I am in, I have gone into such a downward spiral that I have seriously thought it might be better to die than to go through all of this. I am not actively trying to kill myself, but I am so depressed over the state of my teeth (Had 6 extracted not too long ago) that I think a better option would just be not to live. Now if any of you noticed my earlier post (just one really) I stated that the state of my teeth is a major drain on my self esteem, especially around my parents, and even though for numerous other reasons I avoid them like the plague, the psychological damage is done and I can hear in my mind the criticism I would most likely recieve.

Also, is it messed up to also have a fear of dentures? I guess it's not that I fear them as much as I fear the prospect of taking them out and realizing I have no teeth, and having to see myself without teeth at points in my life (Seriously I am crying right now thinking of this) since it's probably going to be IMPOSSIBLE for me to ever get implants, I am literally SOL. I honestly just don't want to live or do anything more than sleep right now. Every time I think about any of this I fly into panic mode, and the worst thing is I KNOW I'll have to go to a dentist soon, on top of that I don't have insurance any more (I am working hard to get it reinstated though) and I have to return to a dentist that I don't like in the first place (don't hate her either, I just...it's hard to explain)

So please tell me what the heck I can do, or am supposed to do! My therapist an I are on a three week break because she needed time off for the holidays and the last time I contacted her because of a freak out, she was none to happy. All I know is I am scared out of my ever loving mind and need to do something! If I have to go through the extraction process again I won't survive....but that's most likely going to be the case....FML!

sorry to hear about this. hope you feel better.