I'm In a state of panic!

[Pianimo]

I have to make my appointment today, and am feeling like trash.

Feel like I need someone to hold my hand today

Big kid or what - it's only a telephone call.......... that will get it ALL going!!!!!

Well, if you're a big kid, so am I - I'm supposed to be way ahead in my journey than you, and I'm still dragging my heels about contacing my dentists! Some things are just plain scary!

So, it's completely understandable how you're feeling right now - but just think how relieved and proud and good you'll feel when you've done it! Yes, you'll have the appointment to be scared of then, but I'm sure you'll feel a weight of your shoulders for having made that first step.

I won't be able to be on DFC much today - busy day - but nonetheless, consider your hand virtually held! (Hugs may be my speciaility, but I do dabble in a bit of hand-holding now and then, on the side! ) And I won't let go until you don't need me any more! I'll pop back on when I can, and I hope to hear it's gone ok for you.

[Kim]

Thanks for this Pianimo

I have been in work for almost an hour, and cant stay away from the loo. Appointment STILL not made!!!

I think I feel worse, as I have the office to myself all week, and no one to keep 'snapping me out of it' so to speak.

Will post when it is done.

Thank you for taking the time out when you are have such a busy day - it is as always appreciated.

xx

[Kim]

1st May 2012 at 12.30!!!!!!!!!

[Kim]

Quick update for you all. Brit, you suggested Lincoln Hirst in WGC. Well, I have come home from work and shown the letter I had written to my current dentist, and he then told me that when I went for my very first consultation, and the dentist referred me on to current, the dental nurse rang the house and said the first dentist had said that a crown would NOT be an option as there was not sufficient to work with, but that as I was in such a state when I was there, she didnt want to freak me out anymore.

My husband was going to tell me nearer the time, so we have discussed getting another opinion and I am going to e-mail Lincoln Hirst as soon as I have done this, to arrange to get another opinion.

I have looked, as you can imagine thoroughly through his website, and read reviews etc, and feel better about it. I have been a bit worried that I have only had one x-ray done at the very first dentist, and the second one is going on all of that, and the dentist in Scotland has mentioned that a thorough check of the condition of my gums etc should be done, and all the second dentist has done is look.

So I will away now and e-mail Lincoln Hirst.

Still really freaked out, but feel somehow a 'bit' better. I am going to cancel for the time being, the appointment with my current dentist.

[Kim]

Further update.

Well I e-mailed Lincoln Hirst, with a book and within a very short space of time he responded. Sounds as lovely as any dentist can to me right now. He said it was good that I had given him all the information that I had, as he needed that to know how I felt. So glad I put it in writing, because I doubt that he would understand the gibberish that will come out of my mouth when I see him.

Next step this morning, I had to phone and cancel my other appointment. I got all in a pickle and made up some fib about my husbands shifts changing and not knowing when he would be able to come with me!!

Then a good while after that, I plucked up the courage to phone Beehive surgery - by this time I was a quivvering wreck, shaky, cold, clammy, and had to keep trying to clear my throat. They answered really quickly, and the receptionist was absolutely lovely. She asked me on a scale of 1 - 10 where was I in the scarey stakes - I said 25 or higher! and I think that was an understatement!!

Anyway, she asked me what dates I could do and I gave her those. She said the Dr likes to new patients later on in the day, so he can spend as much time as he needs with them, then she put me on hold for a minute or two (felt like hours) and then came back to say THIS Friday (and I didnt realise until after I put the phone down - it is the 13th)!! at 3.30.

She was so good with me, she said that I wouldn't have to sit in 'that' chair, that there was another (normal) chair that I could sit in, so that is better.

I came off of the 'phone, still shaking and burst into tears! I text my hubby to say I was at work in the office on my own and crying! I had locked the door, as I didnt want anyone to see me. He was on a break so I was able to ring him, and thank goodness, he helped me calm down. I cant get over how, and I dont know if this is the right way of putting it 'vulnerable' I feel. There isnt a day goes by that I dont shed a tear or a bucket of them, I feel sick all of the time, and so am not eating as I should, and to - pardon the pun - crown it all, another of my crowns, the one next to the broken one that is all on it's lonesome has started to hurt, to the extent that for the last couple of days, I have had to take painkillers for, and I dont do that lightly

I will keep you updated, and again, thank you for being my sounding posts.

Kim

[Pippa]

Yipppee...you have an appointment.Well done.
Be glad it is sooner rather than later as there is less time to be frightened and less time not to be eating .I know you will be in good hands and your dentist knows all about your problem.

I really DO know how you feel as I was the same just over a week ago.

[Pianimo]

Well, I have come home from work and shown the letter I had written to my current dentist, and he then told me that when I went for my very first consultation, and the dentist referred me on to current, the dental nurse rang the house and said the first dentist had said that a crown would NOT be an option as there was not sufficient to work with, but that as I was in such a state when I was there, she didnt want to freak me out anymore.

My husband was going to tell me nearer the time...

It's probably just me, but I can't quite figure out what's happened there...who said what to whom, and when?? Would you mind clarifying for me?

Anyway, I've come back from my busyness to find you've find you've been busy too - not one, but THREE calls to dentists!!! Well done Kim! I know you've been so stressed out by the calls and everything else, but you made yourself do it, and that's pretty impressive!

I'm really glad to hear you're going to see Lincoln! I would've suggested you read Laura442's, but I see you've already found it! You know Lincoln's also on DFC, right? No dentist can magic away your phobia or problems (unfortunately! ), but seeing someone who genuinely cares and wants to help makes a huge difference. (Of course, your other dentist may be like that too, but we know for definite that Lincoln is!)

It probably feels like things are going really fast, but Pippa's right, the worrying is the worst part, so the less time to worry about it, the better! And be proud of yourself - you're making the first steps to getting back to being the happy, confident person you want to be. Well done again - you're doing SO well - and, of course, have some more !

[Kim]

Further update

My mobile phone just went with a number I didn't recognize, and it was Dr Hirst. Whoa - he spoke to me, was really good with me, even tho' I still did get upset, shaking, all of that.

He offered me the option of if I didn't feel I could go on Friday, then to let him know. I will not cancel - I cannot cancel, and as petrified as I will be, I will go to this appointment and as I know that he wont do anything I don't want him to, and as I have had one x-ray done, with a not so understanding dentist, I will let him look at my rotten mouth and take x-rays and then go for there. I need to do this for me as I am such a mess with everything, and have to get this started so as to get it finished if that makes sense

[Kim]

Sorry Pianimo

I'll try to clarify. I had made the appointment with dentist number 2 (for treatment, sedation etc) but had virtually decided that if the crown/implant options didn't work, then I needed a 3rd option, and that be to remove all of my teeth and go down the denture route! That is something that really is a last resort, but I need to have it clear in my head as to what I was being told by dentist 2 in regards to treatment, and MY concerns over the state of my already very old current crowns, that we are not in a financial position to just carry on replacing tooth by tooth with implants, indeed, as I have checked out, to replace my remaining crowns with new one's would not be a financial option either really, so I guess I am trying to get my head in a place that may be able to accept, what could possibly be the inevitable.

Anyway, I drafted out this letter to dentist 2 basically saying that if things went wrong, then we would need to discuss what to do at another appointment (thankyou for this advice Dr Daniel). Showed the letter to my hubby, who then said that on the day I had seen dentist 1, the practice manager rang later that day, and told him - as she didn't want to freak me out anymore, that dentist 1 had said that they wouldn't be able to do a crown for the broken tooth as there was not enough left to work with.

That's when I took Brit's advice to get a third opinion, from someone who is on here, and has such good recommendations, and genuinely seems to want to take his time with a phobic such as me (I feel as if I am the worst).

And so I cancelled the appointment to begin treatment with dentist 2, and booked with Dr Hirst. His receptionist was fantastic, and he telephoned me last night for a chat also, which was extremely good of him, and I go to see the man tomorrow. Still freaked out, and will have to tell the folks I work with (thank god they are nurses) that I will not be able to function properly, and if they come into the office and I am an emotional wreck, it is all part and parcel of my utter FEAR of everything.

Waffled again, so sorry, but hope that clears it up for you, and again, thank you for taking the time to respond and offer support and of course the essential hugs

Will keep you updated with how I am feeling, because I still feel sick etc, and still need all the support and words of wisdom I can get.

Kim

[Kim]

3rd opinion appointment and in a state again!!!

I cant stand feeling this way - just want cry!!!

Will let you know outcome tomorrow.