Hello just wanted to share how I kept calm during a bottom molar extraction which I had 2 days ago; I have quite a severe fear of the dentist but I wouldn't describe it as an extreme phobia though.
What I did was practiced being in the chair at home 2 weeks before my appointment
I layed on my bed with my mouth open and practice breathing slowly and deeply making sure only my stomach was rising and not my chest
I would imagine I was laying by the pool and holiday in the sun, to help achieve this I rubbed a tiny amount of sunscreen under my nose; the smell of coconut really makes me think of laying by the pool on holiday and being very relaxed
I also had my mp3 player on listening to jack johnson (i find his music very relaxing)
When I was very relaxed I also let my mind wonder from being by the pool to imagining i was in the dentists chair and having the dentist work on my mouth, I tried to relate the chair to relaxation.
Doing that everyday for only 15 minutes or so really helped me feel prepared and relaxed for the dentist, on the day I was nervous, but not as nervous I expected.
After he had given me the numbing injections and waiting till i was suitably numb and he was ready to begin, I put my earphones in with jack johnson playing, I had rubbed a small amount of sunscreen under my nose and it smelt like coconut and I just imagined I was home on my bed, thinking of the beach, also having the dentists light helped because it very much felt like closing my eyes under the sun.
The actual pulling of the tooth only took id say a minute or less, he had to work on my mouth for another 15minutes or so after that, but honestly I felt pretty relaxed, from 1/10 of being anxious (10 being a extreme panick attack) I probably felt a 2 or 3, still anxious, but not incredibly so.
After it was all done and i was biting on a pad, the dentist said I was a good patient, anxious but cooperative.
I should also add this was a new dentist, the dentist i had before insisted I have sedation which I was booked in to have but cancelled it because I was to worried (I don't like the idea of being sedated at all)
The new dentist was very nice, he was very relaxed and made me feel very much in control of what was happening; for instance it took 4 injections to totally numb me, it took about 15 minutes or so total in fact to get me fully numb so he could begin properly, but he acted very calm and like it was no problem rather than going ahead when I wasn't happy.
Now its two days later i can't believe how calm I was during and I'm a little shocked I actually had it done, I actually sat up at the end and said "that was fun" which made the dentist and nurse laugh lol
So i guess summing up, if you can find an understanding and calm dentist and practice getting yourself relaxed and prepared, you can get through things that seem monstrous in your head.