View Poll Results: Do you: Go it along or take supportive company ?

    Voters
    55. You may not vote on this poll
    • I need and want to be alone.

      22 40.00%
    • I always take a supportive friend or family member.

      17 30.91%
    • Both - It depends what it taking place at the appointment.

      15 27.27%
    • I would like to take someone as support, but don't know anyone suitiable.

      1 1.82%
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    Thread: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

    1. #21
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Quote Originally Posted by Kimbo View Post
      I seem to be in the minority here, and I find that really odd. I am so in awe of you all who go alone.
      There's no need to be in awe at all; different people handle fear and the experience of going to dentist, differently. Some people find that taking someone with them helps because that person can be a source of support and can also act as a kind of 'safety net' or person to turn to, if things don't turn out quite as they expected. Others prefer to handle the experience on their own, or maybe only have their support person with them in the waiting room but not during treatment, depending on how they feel about being scared or nervous in front of someone they know well. As brit said, it could well be that the people who have voted are a little further on in their journey than you are at the moment, but that's OK too - everyone is different .

      I remember when I went to my first appointment with a new dentist after several years of avoidance. I was so petrified that I knew the only way I would be able to cope with it and not back out or do a runner in the middle of the appointment, was if I took someone with me, both for support and also as someone to turn to in case things went wrong (and in case the bad stuff that happened when I was younger happened again). I took my best friend with me and although I was glad she was with me in the waiting room, I changed my mind at last minute and went into the actual appointment on my own.

      In my case, I prefer to be on my own for dental appointments; on the journey there, in the waiting room and also in the appointment itself. It feels weird if someone is with me because I'm normally very calm and in control, so I really don't want them to see the 'different' me, the one who is totally stressed out, shaking like a leaf and popping beta blocker pills in a (usually unsuccessful) attempt to curb the adrenaline surge. Of course, the dentist and staff at the dental practice sometimes (well OK, probably most of the time!) get to see this side of me, but it's somehow different, I think probably because it's just another part of their job for them and it's nothing they haven't seen before, so they're perhaps less likely to be phased by it.
      Designer. Copywriter. Hypnotherapist. NLP Practitioner. Bookworm. iPhone worshipper. Tea drinker. Insomniac. Caffiene addict. Derren Brown fan.

    2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to vicki For This Useful Post:

      Carys (2nd May 2012), kitkat (2nd May 2012)

    3. #22
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      I agree with soo much of what has been said here that I don't have the energy or time to quote it all! Such a great thread! Thanks for starting this one Carys!

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      Carys (2nd May 2012)

    5. #23
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Thanks for starting this one Carys!

      I can't claim credit for the idea, it was suggested by letsconnect.


      Don't be in awe - we're just a sad bunch of stiff-upper-lipped saddos who don't want any witnesses around ...

    6. #24
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      I need to be alone as I seem to be more afraid when people I know are around me, not sure why!

      I don't even like it when the dental nurse is trying to talk to me, I can only focus on the dentist and although I may squeeze the life out of the dental nurses hand I can't really acknowledge she is there! I go a little crazy in there I think!


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      FearfulInMA (14th June 2012)

    8. #25
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles View Post
      I don't even like it when the dental nurse is trying to talk to me, I can only focus on the dentist and although I may squeeze the life out of the dental nurses hand I can't really acknowledge she is there! I go a little crazy in there I think!
      I'm a bit the same. I don't mind if the dental nurse talks to me in reception before or after the appointment, but I find it really difficult to concentrate on more than one person at the same time once I'm actually in the chair. I also don't think I'd do very well if someone tried to hold my hand either (I don't mind a reassuring rub on the shoulder ). The last time someone held my hand in a similar situation, was a few years ago when I had surgery on my hand. My mum came with me into the anaesthetic room until I was 'asleep' and apparently I nearly crushed all the bones in her hand! Oops... It must've been pretty bad as she still tells the tale all these years later!
      Designer. Copywriter. Hypnotherapist. NLP Practitioner. Bookworm. iPhone worshipper. Tea drinker. Insomniac. Caffiene addict. Derren Brown fan.

    9. #26
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Kimbo, don't be in awe, my husband offers to come with me but he can't run as fast as me, so I have a better chance of escaping on my own.

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      Carys (2nd May 2012), Kim (3rd May 2012), kitkat (4th May 2012)

    11. #27
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Oh - I really couldn't have gone in there by myself. No way. My husband came with me and he did the talking at the reception while I lurked behind him. He even came in with me to see the dentist.....
      That carried on until about the third visit when I felt confident to go by myself. Now I'm fine But it's always the same dentist. I don't know how I would be with another dentist..
      Coolin

    12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to coolin For This Useful Post:

      Carys (2nd May 2012), Kim (5th May 2012)

    13. #28
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      For all of the extractions I went alone but am hoping that will change as I go through the process of getting dentures, will be taking a good friend with me. They have been the one helping me through each day as sometimes it has been a complete struggle to deal with the fact I have no teeth and can't eat what I really want to.

    14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Henry For This Useful Post:

      Carys (3rd May 2012), Kim (3rd May 2012)

    15. #29
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Coolin' - you did bring a smile to my face this very grey morning! When I came out of the room my husband said to me did I want to sit down while he spoke to the receptionist - I said 'no' and went with him but stood to the side of the window so I couldn't see her. After he sorted out what he needed to, bless her, she put her head around the corner to see me - first time I had seen her - and reassuringly asked if I was alright. I couldn't speak, but managed a nod - I think that was one big leap for mankind to be able to do that!!

      I am considering whether or not to ask my hubby to come in next time when I get the iv sedation, but there is going to be another person in the room, and I may panic even more at the thought that they are all in there because of me, so am hoping that the tablets I take before I go will make me 'chilled' enough to go in without him - I think he would feel awkward anyway.

      Henry, glad to see you are back on, and that you have support for when you get your dentures

    16. #30
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      Default Re: Do you : Go it alone or take along supportive company ?

      Well, your minority just got a little larger Kim! I ALWAYS have someone going with me! And I'm also surprised that that isn't the norm for phobics - I can't imagine preferring to go it alone.

      Since my journey started last year, someone has come with me to every appointment, whether dentist or hygienist, consultation or treatment. They don't come right in with me, but stay in the waiting room. I guess I just need the support. It helps to know there's someone there I could run to if I needed to - makes me feel 'safe - and also just that there's someone waiting for me afterwards. Things like walking into the building/waiting room or talking to the receptionist would also be sources of anxiety even without the dental phobia, and having someone with me helps with all that. Plus I don't drive, and my practice is miles away; and I've had most of my treatment with IV sedation, and I have to have someone with me for that. So, all in all, a lot of reasons why I don't go solo!

      Actually, this was a major factor in my years avoiding the dentist - I went back for a check-up with my childhood dentist, when I was a young adult. My dad came into the treatment room with me, and my dentist basically looked down on/made fun of me for needing support just for a check-up. I never went back.

    17. The Following User Says Thank You to Pianimo For This Useful Post:

      Kim (5th May 2012)

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