Help

[carole]

Hi carol999 Would you not love your partner if she had her teeth out, or lost and arm or had anything wrong with her at all?

You just answered your own question. SIMPLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Maybe if you could work up the courage to get your gums healthy and cleaned by a hygienist, you may be able to keep some of your teeth. It is so hard to imagine trusting somebody enough to get work done, but it can be done with the right person, as you know I have my own demons at the moment, but I will find a dentist I can work with, this is a temporary blimp and I am frightened and nervous but I will get myself sorted out.

I really feel for you, and I hope you get sorted out and that you are happy with the choices you make.

All the best, by the way is that your dog, it is lovely. I would love a dog again, mine died a few years ago and they leave such a gap.

[carol999]

Yes Carole,

The dog was mine but unfortunately died a couple of years ago, - but we had two so the other one Rosie is still alive and kicking but has a huge heart murmur(spelling doesnt look right). Yes we keep plodding on dont we I feel quite negative at the moment about all sorts of things.
Traveller he is a she and yes she knows about appt and everything I know from her eyes that she doesnt get it. Yes deep down I know that she will still love me .... but finding me attractive is different kettle of fish altogether. Sorry I didnt sleep well and feel very unhappy with life today.

[Patti]

Carol, my husband got dentures when he was in his 40s (gum disease) and I couldn't love him any more. I don't even think about the fact that he is wearing dentures.

Yes Carole,

The dog was mine but unfortunately died a couple of years ago, - but we had two so the other one Rosie is still alive and kicking but has a huge heart murmur(spelling doesnt look right). Yes we keep plodding on dont we I feel quite negative at the moment about all sorts of things.
Traveller he is a she and yes she knows about appt and everything I know from her eyes that she doesnt get it. Yes deep down I know that she will still love me .... but finding me attractive is different kettle of fish altogether. Sorry I didnt sleep well and feel very unhappy with life today.

[carole]

Carol999 sorry you are feeling so down, I would love all my family, every last one of them even if they were really badly scared or had no teeth or lost arms or legs, I don't care, I love my people and I think your partner will love you just the same.
You are more than a set of teeth to her I am sure. I can understand somebody not understanding how scared we are, because it is a complex thing this phobia as is any phobia. Is you partner afraid of anything, well maybe you could use that as a comparison.

The problem when you are down is that it is hard to think of anything positive, it can be so hard to pick yourself up. I do find taking a nice walk near the canal or river near where I live or even in the woods does work wonders, you would not believe the effect it can give you. It may be temporary but a little lift is better than none. I suppose you do walks with having a dog, my dog used to cheer me up. It is good that you still have one, after losing the other.

I hope you can manage to sort out your dental problems out soon. It really does effect everything you do, until you can get things right. It is a miserable and lonely place this phobia, and I hope you reach the decision that is right for you really soon. Can you discuss this at all with your partner, and ask her how she feels if you end up with your teeth out and false ones.

I really feel for you and I totally understand how you feel, I would be just as scared and depressed as you are.

GOOD LUCK AND warmest wishes

Carole

[Patti]

What Carol said made me think of something else. The phobia being a lonely place. It is. And it effects our personalities when we have these demons. Once you get this sorted out (look Carol! You turned me British! LOL) you will be the person you were born to be and your relationship will improve because you will be a happier person. I hope that made sense. I'm not quite awake yet!

[carol999]

Thanks both, yes it is a lonely place .

[De8934]

Hi carol99, Just started reading this thread, sorry your feeling down. Just want you to know that I too feel very isolated with my worries, concerns or phobia about dental things. I don't know anyone else that feels as I. I have tried to get across to my dentist my fear of the injection not working and that something dreadful will happen. I feel he is steering me down a route that takes me away fro his practice to get treatment, probably so he doesn't' have to deal with me! He is making me feel uncomfortable about telling him.

I've been referred to implant specialists, the dental hospital, he has even written a letter for me to take to take into the A&E part of the dental hospital but i wont go. The place scares me. They loose notes, X-rays go missing or get mixed up with someone else, OMG!

It helps me a lot reading through the threads on here. I just wanted to tell you that your not alone.

De

[carol999]

Thanks for that De. I am going to a different dentist soon to get a second opinion, they listened to my fears and said that they would probably send me to a sedation clinic - I do not feel that they are rejecting me I feel that they are listening to me and sending me to a more specialised clinic, which makes me feel like they understand. The sedation clinic is for people who have special needs for one reason or another and it feels like the right direction for me. So now the problem is not so much the treatment because I will be sedated(IV) but its the thought of them taking all my teeth out and living with all of the consequences - and of course the pain afterwards and the dentures etc etc

[carole]

Thanks both, yes it is a lonely place .

But you and De8934 are with us now

[45andAfraid]

Carol999,

Hi there... I was like you and was told I needed all my teeth out, that I was to "anxious" for sedation and he just laid it all out on the table and I left in complete devastation. But I was determined to get another opinion and I was so thankful that I had.

I have a thread on here as well called I'm 45... and Afraid or something like that.

While I have now been through some extensive treatments, I was just as fearful and anxious, scared, embarrassed humiliated as you but believe me. Once you can find that one true dentist who has a great bedside manner, you'll feel so much better knowing how patient he is, how compassionate and caring he is. I was lucky enough to find him with my second opinion.

Knowing what my partner is going through with me astonishes me as well. How much she puts up with my whinging, crying, worry, complaining, bitching, etc... she doesn't realise how special she has made it all and what she has done for me.

I was prescribed oral sedation and given a prescription of Ativan which I bought at the chemist. This one prescription has lasted me through all my dental procedures so far. I take 2 in the waiting room and within 20 minutes I'm in the chair, loopy, calm, relaxed and he says, may I start? I say... suuuurre go for it! I get a little bit of nitrous, and I'm asleep in the chair. Next thing I know I'm at home... in bed... sleeping off the sedation.

Now I am completely oblivious to this NHS thing. I don't think Australia has this. My X-rays are free through Medicare, my prescriptions are discounted, but I've paid for everything else out of pocket. So I don't know if they'll allow sedated patients because it does require monitoring. You might be best off finding a private one, doing small visits and working with them to make payments.

I went from a cushy 5 figure income to a 4 figure income and my dental treatment plan is in the mid 40k range. So when I got layed off from my job and went to a casual 12 hour week job I panicked but my dental clinic was super supportive and said they knew I wouldn't go anywhere and as long as a made a payment of sorts on a monthly basis, that I not worry. now THAT is caring!!

I wish you the best with this and you CAN do this. My blog is below if you care to read it. Or if you can find my thread but my blog is more informative.

Cheers mate and I look forward to reading more of how you go!!