New and scared stiff!!

[Jessy19]

Hello all,I'm new here as I've only just found this site and need support. I didn't even know there were sites about denting things but I'm so happy that I'm not alone!!!

So here's my situation...

Long story short,I had a really BAD childhood,and when I left home (before I'd even finished school) I had no idea what to do,what healthy things to eat etc etc etc. I ended up living on junk food and diet fizzy drinks as I had to eat and drink but no one to help me to know WHAT things!!!! When I was a child myself and my brothers weren't allowed to mix with other kids,we never went anywhere other then school, so I had no one to advise me anything. Sad but there it is. I'm now 34 and my life is very settled down now,I have 3 children and have been married for 12 years.

My trouble now is that after years and years of drinking diet fizzy,mostly Pepsi, my teeth are completely ruined.
I have a fear of the dentist over many things,one being an old dentist splitting gum to the bone and drilling into my tongue which left me with about 5 stitches in my mouth!!!!! :O
the dentist I went to before I moved last year refused to give me perminant fillings and so now all of my temporay fillings are falling out fast and what few teeth I have of my own are crumbling away now. I can't shake my addiction to fizzy drinks,and believe me,I've tried hard!! Anyway,regardless of all this,I'm now faced with have about 4 or 5 teeth needing to be removed and a denture put in. I'm so ashamed of myself,I have all of the what if's and why didn't I's.
I'm on a lot of medicines,two of which makes my mouth VERY dry and so combined with my horrible teeth my breath smells awful.

About an hour ago another of my teeth that had been done by my old dentist fell out,it's next to my front tooth,so I've had to used temporay fix stuff until I can get to my new dentist on Monday at least.

I feel so bad that at my age,I will have dentures...that people I know will snigger behind my back. I wish the dentist would just take all of my teeth out now. I want to smile and laugh without worrying that people can see my horrible teeth. I can't talk to my friends as they all have nice teeth, my best friend is 36 and doesn't even have one filling!!!!!

[carole]

Hi Jessy19 it is no good concentrating on the what if, we are all different. There are some people on here that have never been to a dentist and they are as old or older than you, and have lovely teeth. There are other people that despite being scared stiff have forced them selves to go to the dentist. I am one of those that have gone to the dentist all my life an I am losing teeth at an alarming rate over the last 6 years.

You want to go now and try and save what teeth you do have. The first appointment is usually only for the dentist to talk to you, have a look and maybe take an x ray. It is important that you have an understanding dentist, explain to them how you feel and what you are worried about. Move at a pace that you can cope with. A lot of the time things are not as bad as we think they are, I don't think you will have the worse teeth the dentist has ever seen, so they aren't going to run screaming away from you.

I wish you good luck we have a lot of support to give on here, so stay around. Let us know how you get on.

[mikey]

Hi, and I think the first step for you would be to find a dentist you think you would like, and have a consult with them, to see what the options are and if you are comfortable with them. It is normal to have fears after those past expirences, but that does not mean with the right dentist it will be much better and pain free.

Best of wishes! and good luck

[Jessy19]

Hello again,I should have mentioned,I have already started to go to a lady dentist about 13 miles away from me. I was petrified at first and couldn't stop shaking,to the point she had to stop looking what needed to be done! (part of my problem is that I have had exstreamly bad experiences with men when I was younger, and all bar one dentist have been men.)
The dentist I have now is amazing and has done a perfect job of one of my front teeth,I have to go back in a week or so for the other front tooth to be done and have a filling in another tooth. She has already said I need some teeth out and will do a partial denture.
Im just scared stiff knowing that I will have to have even more teeth out,and that people might laugh at me even more now. Just want it to be done so I won't feel so ugly when I smile.

[mikey]

I know you are afraid, but I am confident that things will go well, and you will do fine! We are here for you

[Jessy19]

Thank you,it's nice to finally be able to talk to other people who are as scared as I am and who have dental problems too.

[Patti]

Hello and ! I know how you feel, being afraid. I am almost 49 yrs old and only saw a dentist for the first time 6 years ago for emergencies. Then again in April (extraction) and now I have finally gone for a full exam, x-rays and my first treatment was yesterday. Fining the right dentist is important, as you already know. I need 10 cavities filled, one replaced, and 2 wisdom teeth out. It'll be a journey but I'm doing it.

Please don't be ashamed or embarrassed at wearing dentures! My mom wore them at 18. The way people get veneers now, nobody will know! And really, it's not much different than veneers. My husband had to get full dentures in his 40's and he's got a killer smile now! Just think how fantastic your smile will look when you're done! Good for you for starting your journey (fear and all). I know it's not easy.

[carol999]

Hi Jessy 19 thankyou for sharing you sad story with us, I know it takes a lot of courage to talk to others bit its also a huge relief. Well done for taking the first steps,you are very brave I had partial dentures when I was 11 years old. I felt like a complete freak. I learned to talk and eat through practically a closed mouth. It destroyed any confidence I had and made me feel ugly and different. Once the denture fell out in the playground and it felt like everyone in the school saw it. I have grown to depend on the denture so much and still wear it even though I am now much older, mainly because I have avoided the issue and got bear to have an impression, but I will because I am growing stronger partly because I now have support from the forum. If your goal is like mine...to smile with confidence and to have a healthy mouth then you need to stay with that focus, and battle the fear. Jessy I am glad you are here

[carole]

It is good to read that you have started treatment, I think you have found your perfect dentist for you, we all have different needs, some prefer men some women, I have always had male dentists and the thought of a woman didn't sit very well with me, I think it is because as a child there weren't any or many women dentists, I am 54 by the way. So my normal was to have a male dentist, recently I have changed dentists and I have now seen a female dentist, I liked her and felt very much at ease, so what ever you need to get treatment, this is the right thing and way for you to go.

I wish you all the best for the future treatment and if you need support and encouragement then stay around we have loads to give. You may even be able to offer some advice of your own to somebody if you felt like you wanted to, but you don't have to, you do what you feel comfortable doing.