Petrified

veronleo · Jul 18, 2012

Hi everyone. I'm new and didn't know a site like this existed until googling dental phobia a few days ago. After reading a few stories I decided to take the plunge (after calling up all the courage I had) and visited my dentist. It's been many years and as you can imagine, my mouth is a mess. I cried in the dentist chair today and don't know how I'll be able to get the courage to go back to do it again.

So the gist of it is I need 10 extractions, three cavities filled, and one root canal. Wow, a lot of work! What kept me from the dentist all these years is a fear of the dentist office. I was molested by a dentist when I was 9 and I have always been afraid of someone close to me. It took many years of therapy to allow a massage therapist give me a massage.

The worst part is getting over the embarrassment of having all these problems. The hygienist and the dentist both seemed a bit overwhelmed of my teeth. Well, the embarrassment is not the worst part. But it is a big factor. I did have nitrous oxide and through meditation, it seemed to go ok - just a bit of crying. Even without dental care, it seems my gums are ok with only a few spots for major concern. Trying to gather any positives I can - lol.

Anyways, glad that this forum is here. It's nice to be able to read stories about other people with the same concerns I have. It's nice to feel like I'm not a monster and maybe I can have other people to hold my hand (even if it's virtual) while I go through this. I've had a few sleepless nights being woken by nightmares, but I made it through the first visit.

Thank you for reading my post. I thank everyone who shares on this forum. It has helped me more than I could have ever imagined. One day I'll get to smile again.

Dianne · Jul 18, 2012

Hi and

! Sorry that happened to you as a child. Kudos to you for finally going to the dentist after all you went through. What a strong person you are!

I hadn't been to a dentist in 15-20 years and was worried about the embarassment. I found out there really is nothing to be embarrassed about. Dentists have seen much worse teeth than yours, I'm sure!

I visited this forum for at least a year. I am so thankful for it. I wouldn't have been able to make a dental appointment without the support!

Since my first dental appointment in April, I have had 22 teeth extracted and got dentures the same day. I go for my impressions next Tuesday and hope to have my permanent dentures some time in August.

I seriously couldn't have done it alone! Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone on here! You are truly a blessing!

You are strong, you can do this! We are here to support you! Here's to a beautiful smile (for both of us!) God bless!

toucan · Jul 18, 2012

I was driven to the dentist after 20 years in the wilderness when I broke a front tooth. Never mind the state of the rest of my teeth, the recurrent abcesses and the pain. The days leading up the the appointments have been stressful, but I have gained enormous support from reading stories on this site. The shame was probably the worst factor for me as well.

The treatment has transformed my life. I feel sadness that I spent so many years in secret despair. I feel as if I would like to redo the photos for the weddings of both my sons. I am the one grinning, to not show teeth, instead of smiling.

However, I have moved on, as you will. You are so brave to take this first step. You are on the way. I look forward to reading your progress. On here you can shout, scream and tremble. But you can also go "Yippee".
Take control and feel the power!

toucan

FearfulInMA · Jul 19, 2012

veronleo,

So glad you found us! I know the amazing amount of courage it must have taken to get yourself to see a dentist again after such horrible trauma. You are truly an inspiration. There are many of us here for virtual hand-holding (and even virtual hugs :bear:

) as you continue along your journey. Have you seen the information on the site for abuse survivors?

Tips for Abuse Survivors and Their Dentists

Tips for survivors of sexual, emotional and physical abuse and their dentists, written by a survivor of childhood abuse.

www.dentalfearcentral.org

Please keep coming back for support!

veronleo · Jul 19, 2012

Thank you everyone for your kind responses! It's such a secretive problem, isn't it? My husband can't fully understand what I'm going through and I dare not tell anyone else about my problems except my therapist.

I had to forgive my husband for asking, "You needed nitrous oxide just for a cleaning?" LOL. He immediately recanted what he said! I'll overcome this road block to my oral and physical health as well as clear my husband's road block to emotional sensitivity!

Again, thank you for your responses. I'm sure I'll being using this forum a lot throughout my journey.

Steve In Cleveland · Jul 19, 2012

Thanks for sharing your story, veronleo, and congratulations on taking the first step! :welldone:

Something occurred to me while reading your post: you express thanks to all the people here who have told their stories and helped you build up the courage to face the dentist. But now you're one of those people too! Your story is an inspiration to those who haven't yet found the strength to post or take the plunge, and you're now one more shining example that it can be done. I think it's truly beautiful that there are so many people at so many different points on their journey on this forum. Each of us is both a recipient of advice and compassion from those in front of us, as well as a source of courage and example to those behind us. What a great forum, indeed.

I think you'll find that the first step is the hardest. For me it was such a relief, after so many years of avoidance, just to be able to talk about my condition openly, even if just within the confines of this forum and my compassionate wife. Getting the work itself done is a hassle and still a little scary even though I know it won't be painful, but the shame of being "discovered" should dissipate now that you have some people on your side.

You are definitely not a monster! I felt the same way you do, and I bet lots of people here did too-- like my teeth must be the ugliest, nastiest set in the world. As you'll see from reading through the journals and postings here, lots of other phobics have teeth in similar or worse shape, and it is possible to break through to the other side and restore an attractive, healthy smile. It's taken me a long time to understand that a phobia is something you have, not something you are. I now think of my dental phobia as akin to diabetes or bad eyesight: it's a condition that I have through no fault of my own, and it will probably always be with me, but I can learn to deal with it.

HUGE congratulations on taking a big first step, and definitely keep posting and sharing your successes as well as your fears with the group, and we'll all help each other along.

veronleo · Jul 23, 2012

Steve,
Thank you for the encouragement and very kind words!

Yes, it took many years to learn that my sexual abuse is something that happened to me and not something that defines me. I am beginning to learn that my phobia does not define me as well.

It is refreshing to feel like I don't need to hide behind my closed mouth smile anymore. Well, soon, I will be able to smile again.

Steve In Cleveland said:
Thanks for sharing your story, veronleo, and congratulations on taking the first step!

Something occurred to me while reading your post: you express thanks to all the people here who have told their stories and helped you build up the courage to face the dentist. But now you're one of those people too! Your story is an inspiration to those who haven't yet found the strength to post or take the plunge, and you're now one more shining example that it can be done. I think it's truly beautiful that there are so many people at so many different points on their journey on this forum. Each of us is both a recipient of advice and compassion from those in front of us, as well as a source of courage and example to those behind us. What a great forum, indeed.

I think you'll find that the first step is the hardest. For me it was such a relief, after so many years of avoidance, just to be able to talk about my condition openly, even if just within the confines of this forum and my compassionate wife. Getting the work itself done is a hassle and still a little scary even though I know it won't be painful, but the shame of being "discovered" should dissipate now that you have some people on your side.

You are definitely not a monster! I felt the same way you do, and I bet lots of people here did too-- like my teeth must be the ugliest, nastiest set in the world. As you'll see from reading through the journals and postings here, lots of other phobics have teeth in similar or worse shape, and it is possible to break through to the other side and restore an attractive, healthy smile. It's taken me a long time to understand that a phobia is something you have, not something you are. I now think of my dental phobia as akin to diabetes or bad eyesight: it's a condition that I have through no fault of my own, and it will probably always be with me, but I can learn to deal with it.

HUGE congratulations on taking a big first step, and definitely keep posting and sharing your successes as well as your fears with the group, and we'll all help each other along.

Dental Phobia Support

Petrified

veronleo

Junior member

Dianne

Member

toucan

Well-known member

FearfulInMA

Super Moderator

Tips for Abuse Survivors and Their Dentists

veronleo

Junior member

Steve In Cleveland

Well-known member

veronleo

Junior member

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