M
MaireEmily
Junior member
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2012
- Messages
- 2
I went for my check-up and basic cleaning today and came out biting my lip to hold back the tears. I came out and sat in the car for a good 30 mins crying, before I could even pull myself together enough to drive home. I was so upset, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even see through the tears... it was awful! It was actually the first time ever I've been to the dentist on my own. I didn't want to go alone, but I felt so stupid that at 23 years old, I'd still need my mother to come with me. So when she said "You're Ok to go alone, right?" I just nodded.
It wasn't like the dentist was horrible or anything. He was gentle and kind, and kept checking that I was ok, and if I'd needed him to stop or anything. But, I just squeese my eyes shut, clench my fists and say "keep going", I just want it to be over as quick as possible.
The worst part of the whole thing is that he told me I need to have a filling replaced. It's scheduled for next month and I'm terrified! I've managed to avoid major work for about 4-5yrs and I just know I'll be a wreck when that day comes around....
I don't know what to do to stop myself from panicing. The minute I step into the dentist office I feel the aniexty hit me... The smell turns my stomach. The sound of the drill from the next room makes me want to run. I hate it all. It's horrid. Just horrid. I try and distract myself, when waiting I try & read the magazines, watch the tv, etc. When in the chair, I try listen to the radio, sing songs in my head, count back from 500... nothing works, there is no distraction big enough.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't afraid of the dentist, I used to hide when check up days came around. And then I had my first filling, and it was horrid, the dentist and his assistants paid no heed to the fact that I was scared witless and instead discussed holiday plans, I can remember that vividly. The filling that they put in had to be replaced a few yrs later, it chipped on a bit of candy. But that wan'ts done right either & I was back again a few yrs later, because the tooth had rotted beneath the filling. The tooth then had to come out. And if losing my tooth wasn't bad enough, it was so damaged it couldn't even come out in one piece. I can still remember the sound of that tooth being broken in my jaw. That "crack" was deafening, I can still hear it now. I ended up with stitches inside my mouth, not able to eat for a week. I physically shook leaving that place, nothing could calm me. I went back to that surgery once after that, but the panic attack I experienced was so intense I could never manage it again...
My new surgery is nicer, it looks nicer & the people are kinder (still smells tho!) That's where I was today. I don't know if I manage the replacement filling though. The dentist says its not urgent, it just "in my best intrests to do it soooner rather than later", but I don't know... I'm already thinking of cancelling!
I just wanted to share with someone who might understand what I'm going through. I've heard the "Nobody likes the dentist" line so many times it makes me want to scream. I'm scared. I wish I wasn't but I am. I hate the fact that such an ordinary thing can reduce me to feeling like a child....
Anyways, sorry for such a long post, I just needed to vent.
It wasn't like the dentist was horrible or anything. He was gentle and kind, and kept checking that I was ok, and if I'd needed him to stop or anything. But, I just squeese my eyes shut, clench my fists and say "keep going", I just want it to be over as quick as possible.
The worst part of the whole thing is that he told me I need to have a filling replaced. It's scheduled for next month and I'm terrified! I've managed to avoid major work for about 4-5yrs and I just know I'll be a wreck when that day comes around....
I don't know what to do to stop myself from panicing. The minute I step into the dentist office I feel the aniexty hit me... The smell turns my stomach. The sound of the drill from the next room makes me want to run. I hate it all. It's horrid. Just horrid. I try and distract myself, when waiting I try & read the magazines, watch the tv, etc. When in the chair, I try listen to the radio, sing songs in my head, count back from 500... nothing works, there is no distraction big enough.
I can't remember a time when I wasn't afraid of the dentist, I used to hide when check up days came around. And then I had my first filling, and it was horrid, the dentist and his assistants paid no heed to the fact that I was scared witless and instead discussed holiday plans, I can remember that vividly. The filling that they put in had to be replaced a few yrs later, it chipped on a bit of candy. But that wan'ts done right either & I was back again a few yrs later, because the tooth had rotted beneath the filling. The tooth then had to come out. And if losing my tooth wasn't bad enough, it was so damaged it couldn't even come out in one piece. I can still remember the sound of that tooth being broken in my jaw. That "crack" was deafening, I can still hear it now. I ended up with stitches inside my mouth, not able to eat for a week. I physically shook leaving that place, nothing could calm me. I went back to that surgery once after that, but the panic attack I experienced was so intense I could never manage it again...
My new surgery is nicer, it looks nicer & the people are kinder (still smells tho!) That's where I was today. I don't know if I manage the replacement filling though. The dentist says its not urgent, it just "in my best intrests to do it soooner rather than later", but I don't know... I'm already thinking of cancelling!
I just wanted to share with someone who might understand what I'm going through. I've heard the "Nobody likes the dentist" line so many times it makes me want to scream. I'm scared. I wish I wasn't but I am. I hate the fact that such an ordinary thing can reduce me to feeling like a child....
Anyways, sorry for such a long post, I just needed to vent.