At the end of my tether, time to act :-(

Hi everyone. After years of thinking about the state of my teeth the moment I wake up until the moment I go to sleep I've decided I have had enough and have finally plucked up the courage to email several dentists to see if I can find one that can help me.

I have a partial upper denture which is failing because it is clasped to teeth that are crumbling. I cant eat anymore except for things like pasta and soup. I can't sleep very well as i'm up all night worrying. I am now too scared to take out the denture because i'm convinced it will break on removal or that my teeth will and I wont get it back in. Things are so bad right now that I actually want treatment which is a first for me.

The thing I want most is the all on 4 treatment but I have only saved about half of what I need ( and that's at the cheapest place I can find). Instead I am aiming for extraction of the crumbling teeth and a new upper denture. My problem is that i'm terrified of being without teeth whilst the new denture is being made.

I have found a dentist that makes same day dentures on site and will also deal with the extractions. I am praying they will see me and start treatment without an initial assessment.... they are so far away that I would be unable to travel for an assessment and then later to start treatment. Also I know they would insist on removing my denture at the assessment and I would be left toothless until the next appointment.

Would appreciate any support guys. I have felt so alone for years.

Congratulations emmalouise for making the brave decision to get treatment, and welcome to the forum.

I don't think your a bad person or a freak for the condition of your teeth. Like the rest of us here on the forum, you're just cursed with the tough combination of dental phobia and teeth that are probably more prone to damage than others. I completely understand what you're going through and how fear of the dentist can take over your life and drive you to a place where it affects your basic functioning. My story is somewhat different from yours but I've spent many years altering my diet and avoiding working on my teeth while feeling them deteriorate. It's not a healthy way to live but lots of people here can identify with it, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Also, take heart in knowing that it's usually the case that your teeth aren't nearly as bad as you fear they are, and that there's always a way to fix up your smile, whatever shape you're in.

Whichever dentist you choose, I'd encourage you to write/phone/email them explaining your concerns and preference to get started asap. Most dentists will refrain from giving you an "estimate" before getting a good look at your teeth (including x-rays) but they may be able to set up a longer appointment knowing that you intend to start treatment immediately.

I'd also recommend that you try to describe your condition and fears to your potential dentist(s) via email or written letter, to see if you can get a sense for how the dentist interacts with phobics, and to take control of your story. Most of the time, our fears are way worse than reality, but knowing what your fears are, your dentist can work with you to best address your concerns. (Maybe it's possible to have work done in pieces you can afford, or can work with you to make sure that they don't do any damage when removing your denture).

The important thing, I think, is to remember that you are a good person worthy of professional treatment, and that no matter how bad you think your teeth are, there's a way to get your mouth restored to health and beauty. You should be very proud of yourself to be working towards getting better. Finding a compassionate practice is the first step towards a healthy smile. Keep focusing on that day when you'll be able to eat normal food and smile a big smile, and know that there is a way through to that place.

Welcome again to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story with us. It may seem like a small step to you, but it takes a lot of courage just to get to where you are, so give yourself a pat on the back.

Steve, thank you for your words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me. Over the past couple of days I have been trying to convince myself that all is not as bad as it seems but unfortunately, i'm back at square 1.

I found a couple of reasonably priced dentists, one relatively near to me and one a lot further away. Neither has any specialty in nervous patients but both offered treatment I didn't think I could afford, miles cheaper than smaller dental offices. This cheered me a bit so I emailed them both.

Neither have mailed me back Discouraged, I found a local dentist who says he is anxiety friendly and gave him a call. He was very pessimistic. Basically it's full dentures all the way but i'll probably find them really difficult as they tend to fall out all the time I can't believe he said that. I really believed i'd saved almost enough for implant retained dentures but he quoted triple the price.

I'm not sure how much more I can take. Can't stop crying. Haven't ate in days. Feels like downhill from here and I hate that.

I haven't anything more to add really, I just wanted to wish you Good luck and I hope you get your mouth sorted out, sometimes I really wish I had a magic wand to grant wishes. I would grant all your wishes the dentist that says he deals with anxious patients doesn't sound good to me, I would stay well clear.