• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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nevous wreck

M

Margaretanne

Member
Joined
Jul 22, 2012
Messages
21
Location
Hartlepool
Hi,
I have just found this site and have read quite a few posts. My story isnt much different for anyone elses. Im just terrified of Dentists. I havent seen a dentist in the last 4 years because the last one said in his word "come back when you have calmed down", well I never went back. 6 months ago I stopped smoking. I was so proud of the fact after 30years of the filthy habit but then I started with bleeding gums, mouth ulcers and then an abbsess. Full of panic I went to see my GP who thankfully gave me anti-biotics which cleared the absess up. In the mean time I thought I should see a dentist and booked an appointment which is in a few days time and now Im really panicking. My teeth are a mess and Im terrified he says I have to have all teeth removed. Im also terrified of the dreaded needle. I cant sleep, I cant eat Im just a nervous wreck :cry:
 
Hi :welcome: this can happen when you stop smoking, a smoker will not usually get bleeding gums because the blood flow to the gums gets stemmed by smoking. Smoking can mask under laying problems with the gums and when you stop they come to light.

Don't worry about your first visit, it is unlikely that he will want to be pulling all your teeth out, there are people on here that think their teeth are a lost cause and they are surprised at what can be done to save them.

Your first visit will be to meet and greet, and he will have a look at your teeth and chart them, he may want to take an x ray, but nothing happens at the first visit, tell him how nervous you are, and that you are afraid of the injections, which don't hurt these days. If they use a gel called topical and rub it into your gum for a few minutes when they come to inject you won't feel it, or hardly the most you might feel is a bit of pressure. If they inject really slowly you don't feel it all. But no injections on the first visit, so don't worry.

They can only do what you agree to, they won't make you do anything, if you think the dentist is someone you can work with to get any work done you may need, stay with him. If you feel uncomfortable with him find another.

You will be okay try not to stress so much, nothing will happen on your first visit. :butterfly:
 
carole said:
Hi :welcome: this can happen when you stop smoking, a smoker will not usually get bleeding gums because the blood flow to the gums gets stemmed by smoking. Smoking can mask under laying problems with the gums and when you stop they come to light.

Don't worry about your first visit, it is unlikely that he will want to be pulling all your teeth out, there are people on here that think their teeth are a lost cause and they are surprised at what can be done to save them.

Your first visit will be to meet and greet, and he will have a look at your teeth and chart them, he may want to take an x ray, but nothing happens at the first visit, tell him how nervous you are, and that you are afraid of the injections, which don't hurt these days. If they use a gel called topical and rub it into your gum for a few minutes when they come to inject you won't feel it, or hardly the most you might feel is a bit of pressure. If they inject really slowly you don't feel it all. But no injections on the first visit, so don't worry.

They can only do what you agree to, they won't make you do anything, if you think the dentist is someone you can work with to get any work done you may need, stay with him. If you feel uncomfortable with him find another.

You will be okay try not to stress so much, nothing will happen on your first visit. :butterfly:
Click to expand...
Carol, thank you much for your reply. I did visit this dentist 20 years ago and he was nice. I just hope he hasnt changed.
 
If he was nice then, I would think he is still nice. I think you will find things have changed a lot in the last 20 years, for the better. Good luck :clover::butterfly: I think you will be amazed at what they can do now.
 
good luck to you, im trying to stop smoking especially now ive had my bottom teeth cleaned x
 
Hi again,

I just wish the nerves would calm down. My appointment is Thursday and all through today I have thought about cancelling, knowing that if I did I would have to wait another 6 weeks and I would be ridiculed by my friends who say Im just being silly. I wonder why some people arent afraid and others are terrified to the point were it ruins your life. Just wishing Thursday was here and I knew what the dentist was going to say.

Thanks for listening
Margaret:)
 
Don't cancel, not because of what your friends will say but because you will feel so much better when you have been and taken this massive step.

When we are as scared as you feel, and we have done that first appointment and spoken to the dentist and explained how we feel, we come out of the dental office walking on air. The good feeling lasts for days, you just have to feel this. You deserve to feel this, you will be so pleased with yourself.

Good luck :clover::clover::clover: you will be fine :butterfly:
 
Hi Carole,

I cant remember what he was like 20 years ago apart from being nice. What if I find it hard to tell him how I feel. Im trying to imagine a conversation with a complete stranger. The receptionist was most definitely not a people person. I found here really standoffish when I went to make appointment. I actually found it easy to walk in there instead of ringing up, I just hope I feel the same way on Thursday :scared:
 
Either send an e mail to the dentist or write down on a piece of paper how you feel and what you are afraid of, and either send it to him in an e mail or hand him the bit of paper when you get there. Remember nothing will happen on the day, he will only make an assessment of what needs doing.

Just you get there and walk through the door and let him do the rest, he hasn't turned into a monster over the last 20 years and he will have seen everything from people crying and nervous to good teeth, bad teeth, and everything inbetween. I hope you find the strength to do this, you really will be fine, I do know how you feel and it is horrible, but this is the worst you are going to feel. The stress and worry you are putting yourself through is terrible, the appointment is a breeze compared to how you are feeling now.:butterfly:
 
Good luck trying to stop. I stopped after 40 years using nicotine gum and an e-ciggie. the first week was hard but after 6 months I dont know why I didnt do it earlier. :)
 
Hi Margaret,

I was SO AFRAID of my first visit (Carol can verify that) and as it turned out, things were not nearly as bad as I thought. If you find a dentist you like and can TRUST, that is half the battle. After 49 years of avoidance (with the exception of 2 fillings 6 yrs ago and one extraction this year) i am finally getting all my work done (11 fillings and 2 wisdom teeth extracted).

Good luck! :clover:
 
Hi Patti,
So sorry I have just read your post. I have only just found it. Thank you for your words of support, I will let you know on Thursday just how it went. At the moment Im sat here with my stomach in constant knots, even my hands are shaky. I just wish it was over and that it was Thursday tomrrow. :shame:
 
Hi Carole,

Feeling really nervous now, I got my husband to phone the dentist that I'm supposed to see tomorrow to ask if he deals with people who are phobic or nervous and the answer was a great big "NO", we send them out of town to a Phobic Practice (that I went to years ago and hated it). This was the receptionist that said this. This practice is private and costs the earth. I'm now feeling much much worse and not sure what to do. :hmm:



carole said:
Don't cancel, not because of what your friends will say but because you will feel so much better when you have been and taken this massive step.

When we are as scared as you feel, and we have done that first appointment and spoken to the dentist and explained how we feel, we come out of the dental office walking on air. The good feeling lasts for days, you just have to feel this. You deserve to feel this, you will be so pleased with yourself.

Good luck :clover::clover::clover: you will be fine :butterfly:
Click to expand...
 
Hi Margaretanne, from a caroleann, I have looked for a reason not to go as well, don't let this receptionist put you off, some of them need lessons in people skills. She isn't going to treat you, it is a first visit and nothing can happen that you don't want to. I don't know why dentists give jobs to these little madams, they need a good shake sometimes.

I would go and meet the dentist, see what he says, it his him that says what happens not the receptionist. He won't do anything, tell him how you feel and if you don't feel comfortable say you cannot face your mouth being looked at today (Thursday) and say you would like to come back another day. But please do go, if you cancel now you will feed the fear so much more. Who knows he might be your Knight in shinning armour, and be the best thing that could happen to you at the moment, if you don't go you won't know.

Go and be civil to the receptionist, but save judgement until you have seen the dentist. Even if you don't go for 20 more years you will feel much better for going tomorrow, just getting through the door and talking to a dentist is an achievement. I bet he is a really nice man. Go and see. You can get out of the chair any time you want and walk away and never go back. You could even have a get out word or signal between your husband and yourself, so that if you don't feel able to just leave you could say the word and you husband can intervene and you can leave, that is if you take him in with you.

Say to yourself "I AM GOING BECAUSE I WANT TO" and "I CAN CHOOSE TO LEAVE WHEN I WANT TO" put yourself in charge. I really think you will stay and go back, if not to that dentist to another one. You have done the hardest part by picking up the phone and making the appointment, just go and see what it is like.

You really will be okay, I am waiting to read how well you did and that you feel over the moon that you have been and done it. :butterfly:
 
Last edited:
Hi Margaretanne

Maybe it is the receptionist who doesn't want to deal with dental phobic's and not the actual dentist himself. If you have seen him before, albeit many years ago, and he was nice then, it is probably his own personal 'makeup' and he is a genuinely nice person. That being the case, I would still go and see him tomorrow, and if he suggests sending you to the practice you went to and didn't like, you have always the option to decline, and look into dentists yourself that deal with phobic patients.

Who knows, you may even end up finding a practice and dentist as good as the one that I have ended up with.

I wish you well.

Kim
 
Hi Kim,

Thank you so much for your support. I will go tomorrow and see what happens. I wonder if I should hide the fact that Im scared and just go with the flow or tell the dentist how I feel, which isnt very good at the moment. :dunno:
 
Hi Carole,

Thanks for giving me the support that I need. I will go tomorrow and see what he is like. I have felt sick all afternoon but had to go to work (which occupied my mind) Someone recommended a dentist out of town that does sedation if I need it but not gonna jump the gun just yet till I see how I feel about this one. :)

carole said:
Hi Margaretanne, from a caroleann, I have looked for a reason not to go as well, don't let this receptionist put you off, some of them need lessons in people skills. She isn't going to treat you, it is a first visit and nothing can happen that you don't want to. I don't know why dentists give jobs to these little madams, they need a good shake sometimes.

I would go and meet the dentist, see what he says, it his him that says what happens not the receptionist. He won't do anything, tell him how you feel and if you don't feel comfortable say you cannot face your mouth being looked at today (Thursday) and say you would like to come back another day. But please do go, if you cancel now you will feed the fear so much more. Who knows he might be your Knight in shinning armour, and be the best thing that could happen to you at the moment, if you don't go you won't know.

Go and be civil to the receptionist, but save judgement until you have seen the dentist. Even if you don't go for 20 more years you will feel much better for going tomorrow, just getting through the door and talking to a dentist is an achievement. I bet he is a really nice man. Go and see. You can get out of the chair any time you want and walk away and never go back. You could even have a get out word or signal between your husband and yourself, so that if you don't feel able to just leave you could say the word and you husband can intervene and you can leave, that is if you take him in with you.

Say to yourself "I AM GOING BECAUSE I WANT TO" and "I CAN CHOOSE TO LEAVE WHEN I WANT TO" put yourself in charge. I really think you will stay and go back, if not to that dentist to another one. You have done the hardest part by picking up the phone and making the appointment, just go and see what it is like.

You really will be okay, I am waiting to read how well you did and that you feel over the moon that you have been and done it. :butterfly:
Click to expand...
 
Tell him exactly how you feel, you will be able to gain a lot from his reaction - when I first saw dentist number one, he bellowed at me as he walked and I wibbled up the stairs to his surgery 'I've heard all about you' (referring to the fact that his head nurse is the friend of a friend, and so she had passed on just how petrified I was to him). Didn't stop him telling me that he wasn't going to intentionally hurt me. I may not be the brightest spark on the fire, but I know that - it is the part where your irrationality takes over the reality - and its trying to escape from that, but when you are just so scared, you can't.

If his reaction is not the right one, you have the choice to up sticks, and find someone who will be willing and wanting to help you.

Good luck for tomorrow, and try and get a good nights sleep!
 
Margaretanne, I think you have made a wise decision to go tomorrow, you could be missing out on a really nice dentist if you don't. Explain that you are really nervous, and tell him why, remember to state that you really want to get your teeth treated and that you remember him from years ago and feel that he is the right person to help you.

I think you will be surprised at how considerate dentists can be today, compared to the last time you went. Give this man a chance. If you feel there is no way you can work with this dentist then very politely thank him for his time and leave, then find somebody else.

You really will be okay, I don't know how I made it to the dentist a few months back after a bad experience, but I did and I was really pleased I did. You have just spent years being worried about something happening to your mouth, and letting it effect things that you do, so don't stop now you have done the really hard bit, in making the appointment. :butterfly:Nothing has to happen tomorrow, unless you feel comfortable then let him have a look and see what he says you need. GOOD LUCK :clover::clover::clover: You will be fine. :grouphug:
 
Last edited:
Hi Carole,
Yet again Im sorry. I didnt realise that my husband could come with me. He is taking me but he will wait in the waiting area. I didnt think they would alllow him in :)


carole said:
Hi Margaretanne, from a caroleann, I have looked for a reason not to go as well, don't let this receptionist put you off, some of them need lessons in people skills. She isn't going to treat you, it is a first visit and nothing can happen that you don't want to. I don't know why dentists give jobs to these little madams, they need a good shake sometimes.

I would go and meet the dentist, see what he says, it his him that says what happens not the receptionist. He won't do anything, tell him how you feel and if you don't feel comfortable say you cannot face your mouth being looked at today (Thursday) and say you would like to come back another day. But please do go, if you cancel now you will feed the fear so much more. Who knows he might be your Knight in shinning armour, and be the best thing that could happen to you at the moment, if you don't go you won't know.

Go and be civil to the receptionist, but save judgement until you have seen the dentist. Even if you don't go for 20 more years you will feel much better for going tomorrow, just getting through the door and talking to a dentist is an achievement. I bet he is a really nice man. Go and see. You can get out of the chair any time you want and walk away and never go back. You could even have a get out word or signal between your husband and yourself, so that if you don't feel able to just leave you could say the word and you husband can intervene and you can leave, that is if you take him in with you.

Say to yourself "I AM GOING BECAUSE I WANT TO" and "I CAN CHOOSE TO LEAVE WHEN I WANT TO" put yourself in charge. I really think you will stay and go back, if not to that dentist to another one. You have done the hardest part by picking up the phone and making the appointment, just go and see what it is like.

You really will be okay, I am waiting to read how well you did and that you feel over the moon that you have been and done it. :butterfly:
Click to expand...
 
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