Start of my dental health journey.(pic included)

Well I'm a 21 year old, with bad teeth. It all started with my mother not telling me as a child how important dental health really is, it was an afterthought. Up until my 17th birthday i kept my dental appointments but then i missed a routine filling i needed. I just forgot and always meant to get the work done but as a teenager other things seemed more important. Then later that year i got insomnia, which developed into depression. This is when my teeth started to get worst i would go days without brushing. Which now I'm ashamed of, Now that I've recovered from the depression and am starting to sleep better, i feel to the need to sort out my teeth before they all fall out. I have 4 cavities that i know of one on each front tooth, and the others on either fang shaped teeth. I'm guessing there may be more i can't see. I'm just looking for some support, I'm ashamed at how bad they are and scared the dentist will laugh, then pull them all out. The other thing is i have a fear of getting numbed since it reminds me of when i couldn't sleep. How would the dentist work around this? I've got the appointment on Thursday morning, with a new dentist, hopefully hes nice and will help me with my problems.

To give people an idea of my teeth here is a photo.

[broken link to image removed]

I just want nice teeth and this is the start of my journey, wish me luck.

Hi I wish you luck lots of it Explain to your dentist that you are afraid and why. He will be able to put your mind at rest, and he will know how to help you get the treatment done that you need.

Hi there, jw, and welcome to the forum!

I am touched by your story because I was in almost precisely the same place as you at your age, but I didn't have the courage you have to face my fear and get my teeth fixed before they got worse. I'm setting things right again 20 years later, but here's what I would tell my 21-year-old self, given the wisdom of hindsight.

First, it's a real shame that your mom never taught you proper dental hygiene as a kid. Mine didn't either, and I spent all of my 20s and 30s feeling ashamed of my brushing habits (or lack thereof). At 21, you probably feel like that's your fault-- I certainly did. But the reality is, a big part of why you're not a good brusher is that it wasn't really instilled in you at a young age. And, the fact that you weren't responsible enough to make your own dentist appointments at 17 is because 17-year-olds mostly aren't. You state both these things in your post but I think you still feel overly responsible for the state of your teeth, and I just want to say that to a large degree the deck was stacked against you, and that's not your fault. It's a shame that you now have to suffer the consequences of something that really isn't your fault, but it's really great that you seem to have pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and are mature enough to start taking care of yourself. So go a little easy on yourself-- you're doing great.

Second, your teeth really don't look bad at all. Seriously. They're not movie-star teeth, maybe, but whose are? The visible holes in your front teeth are the enamel worn away, and I can't see what's going on with your canines (the "fang-shaped" teeth) but it's likely the same. As horrible and ashamed as you feel about those, they're easy to fix. It's also not an uncommon condition at all. We try to stay away from making diagnosis here, but I'd be SERIOUSLY surprised if it turned out you can't save those teeth and keep them for a long long time. It turns out that teeth are a lot like icebergs-- the part you can see is really just a small part. Your teeth appear to be largely intact, so this is a great time to catch things and fix them up before the damage goes deeper.

Third, your dentist has seen WAY worse teeth than this. I guarantee that. There are people (like myself!) out there who've let their teeth get way worse, I'm talking about teeth broken down to the gumline and big chunks broken off and black bits and jagged bits where teeth used to be. And my dentist didn't even blink. If you can, tell your dentist the same story that you told us, that you've neglected your teeth for a few years and you're ashamed of the condition they're in, and you want to work on making them better. Do this before you even open your mouth. (Well, I mean, you'll have to open your mouth to tell the story, but you know what I mean.) Seriously. You're not the first person who's let your teeth go, and most dentists are really thrilled to see people making an effort to reverse the cycle. I've been to three different, random dentists over the years, and I always felt like they were going to freak out or laugh at me or scold me or say that there was nothing to be done, etc. And they never do. Your dentist will probably want to take some x-rays to see state of your teeth (remember, the important parts aren't even visible), and should be compassionate and professional in his diagnosis. Dentists work on teeth like yours all day long, so believe it or not, your teeth probably won't even be interesting to the dentist, let alone freakish or worthy of shock.

I just can't say this enough, and I'm absolutely serious: your teeth really aren't in all that bad a shape. It might take a few visits to do all the work necessary, and it might not be all that fun, but this smile is not something that will shock or horrify anyone. They actually look pretty normal, with a couple of deep cavities. I've been in your shoes and I know you look in the mirror and see a horror show, but I'm staring at the close up and don't see anything very shocking.

Some practical advice for your visit: Try to start with a consultation with the dentist him/herself. You'll need a cleaning at some point, but I'd recommend talking to the dentist and getting some x-rays first. Again, try to tell him your story or print out what you've written here and show it to him, if you're too nervous to talk. Expect him to want to "have a look" with a mirror and something called a probe, which looks like a pick but is actually blunt. It's unlikely he'll actually touch any of your teeth at all, and if he does it will be gently-- no picking or scaping. Then he'll probably have you do a bunch of x-rays to get a picture of what's going on. I'd recommend not getting anything more than this on the first visit, because you'll be stressed out enough. You can talk about the treatment plan, discuss your fears of being numb, and figure out if there's anything that should be worked on right away. If there's any procedures you're not familiar with, you can ask "what's that like?" and you can get some information on what to expect, so you won't be sitting at home worrying after the appointment about what procedure X is like. And then, you can go home! (If you are worried about procedure X, post that here, and we'll tell you how painless and easy it is.)

I think you'll be surprised at how easy it will all go, and also how relieved you'll be that you faced the dentist and nothing terrible happened.

Lastly, jw, give yourself a serious pat on the back for scheduling an appointment, for taking control of your teeth even when you weren't really taught to, for posting your story to this forum, and for posting picture of your teeth here, even when you're ashamed of them. That all takes a TON of courage and strength to do. Hopefully you have a buddy or a close relative you can call who can be a personal confidant to you as you start this process. It's good to have someone who can cheer you on and also celebrate little victories along the way. We'll certainly do that here, but see if you can't find someone you trust and let them in on what you're doing, because it really does help.

Thanks again, and great job posting, and good luck on your appointment!