• Dental Phobia Support

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Lions and Tigers and Dentists...oh my!!

M

Mugz

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 21, 2014
Messages
1,034
Location
Anywhere but "The Chair"
Hi There!
I've been lurking on the site for a little while trying to work up the nerve to see a dentist for the mess my mouth has become. I avoid dentists like the plague and only go when I something is very, very wrong...like now. It has been 10 years since my last visit (I feel like I'm going to confession) and I am terrified to begin the process all over again.
After reading so many stories posted here I did call and make an appointment...which was really hard to do. Even harder was showing up but I did. Can't say I am very proud of anything past that point as the minute I walked through the door I started shaking and crying the instant I sat in the chair. I don't mean little ladylike sniffles and tears, I'm talkin' sheer terror silent scream cries, the kind that alternate between no noise and squeaky sobs of air. I must have been pretty pathetic because the poor hygienist teared up handing me tissues. Somehow she managed to get x-rays and the dentist came in just to look....but then started to tell all he saw. No extractions but several root canals, crowns, fillings, something with my jaw, something with my gums...the more he said the more I cried and I finally had to say stop, I don't really want to know today. He said ok, "Let's just start with a cleaning and do the filling and crown next as those teeth hurt the most right now...and here's a prescription for a sedative to take for those appointments."

My appointment isn't until next week but I cannot think of anything else. Moving the appointment up scares me even more. My heart races when I think about it, my hands shake and I want to cry....depending on where I am I will cry! I thought I'd feel a little better with the first one out of the way but I totally don't. I can't sleep, can't eat and can't get my mind off it. Has this happened to anyone else? What do you do to stop the scary thoughts? I do have nightmares - some of past bad experiences, some just weird nightmares of new possibilities. I have very vivid memories of three separate, consecutive incidents in my childhood with 3 different dentists that started the phobia and I actually "see" and "feel" basically relive what happened over and over very clearly decades later. Does that happen to anyone else? Worrying about upcoming appointments non-stop, vivid memories of past trauma? How do you stop it? How do you get through it? I seriously have chest pain!
 
Well, bless your little heart! I think we can all relate to your fears or else we would all have perfect teeth from going to the dentist on a regular basis. It does feel very scary, especially when we haven't been to the dentist in many years. Unfortunately, we usually end up going when we are in pain, or because we have become so embarrassed about how our teeth look!

I guess the only advice I can give, is to just take it one step at a time. Seriously. Don't project into the future of what has to be done, or what is ahead of you...whether that means the procedures or the appointments. When I start obsessing (and I do) about what I have to have done next I stop myself by simply focusing on the moment...because worry really is just the process of borrowing from tomorrow...and nothing good comes from that except anxiety and panic.

Another thing I do that seems to help is to try and put it in perspective...dentistry is safe, modern and the dentist is a highly trained professional that is there to HELP you, not HURT you. It helps to try and stay rational when your mind starts going a million miles an hour, and by telling yourself that you are safe, you are in good and capable hands and no one is going to hurt you...they are only there to HELP you.

I know you are scared...trust me, we are all scared but we muster up our courage and do it in spite of our fears because we know we have to in order to be healthy. Nothing is more miserable than tooth pain.

You can do this...I know you feel like you cant...but honestly...you can do this.

I am sending you a hug :XXLhug:
 
Hello and:welcome: You are amongst friends here as many people have been/are in the same boat:)


Firstly, well done you for having the courage to make and more importantly go to that first appointment, much respect :respect::respect:.

Like Martha says, the best way to tackle this whole journey is to take it one step at a time; that way you can prioritise in partnership with your dentist to get the most important stuff sorted first and then work towards getting the rest step by step.

More good news is that it doesn't sound like you will be losing any of your teeth, another huge positive:jump:

Also to reassure you that modern dentistry is light years away from what it was 10 years ago and is normally practised by kind, compassionate and highly skilled people who do not judge us they just want to help us to restore our smiles and prevent painful tooth issues.

I have gone through phases of avoiding going in my lifetime but now I will always make myself go (I'm better than I was but there is still an element of nervousness on the build up to the appointment), as having experience dental pain; going to my appointments is definitely better than putting up with that again.

I also have an appointment booked for next week to get some repair work done so perhaps we can compare notes :XXLhug:. I'm trying out my new dentist who I think is very good so far.

Kind Regards
 
Hello Mugz,
I am also very worried about an appointment on thursday this week, but I hope I can help you a bit by talking about it.
I think the main thing to try and do is to notice when you are feeling stressed and having worried thoughts, and consciously trying to change that into something more positive. For example: I am sitting here thinking, 'oh god, I'm going under IV sedation and I am so scared that I will not be in control and they will do something horrible to me', but then I have to change that thought and kind of write over it in my head with something like what Martha said below, 'dentistry is modern and safe, they are trained professionals, and he is giving me sedation to help me through the procedure, and also so he can do the best job he can whilst I am in a relaxed state'

You have done a really positive thing by booking your appointment and even though this is stressing you out now, you have to think you are doing something pro active about it, and just think of the feeling you have when it is done!

I think this advice below that Martha gave is really important to listen to (its helped me just now).

I guess the only advice I can give, is to just take it one step at a time. Seriously. Don't project into the future of what has to be done, or what is ahead of you...whether that means the procedures or the appointments. When I start obsessing (and I do) about what I have to have done next I stop myself by simply focusing on the moment...because worry really is just the process of borrowing from tomorrow...and nothing good comes from that except anxiety and panic.

Another thing I do that seems to help is to try and put it in perspective...dentistry is safe, modern and the dentist is a highly trained professional that is there to HELP you, not HURT you. It helps to try and stay rational when your mind starts going a million miles an hour, and by telling yourself that you are safe, you are in good and capable hands and no one is going to hurt you...they are only there to HELP you.
 
If you trust the dentist then have the dentist start with the absolutely easiest to treat tooth first. Sometimes it is best to start very slow even though you have other more critical needs.
 
If you trust the dentist then have the dentist start with the absolutely easiest to treat tooth first. Sometimes it is best to start very slow even though you have other more critical needs.

That's a great idea:)
 
WOW!! THANK YOU ALL for such a warm and comforting welcome! I SO appreciate your kindness and the sincere thoughtfulness (and hugs) behind each reply. The fact that so many of you are in the midst of your own personal "trauma" with upcoming appointments and procedures and yet you still find time and strength to offer words of comfort to me, a total stranger, is truly amazing and very humbling.

I'm trying to take your advice and focus a little more on the positive, like many of you suggested, and trying to replay a more gentle memory over the physically painful and abusive ones I see & feel constantly. I definitely felt the hygienist was there to help (as you reminded me) and was very patient and kind and moved VERY slowly which helped. She understood when I wouldn't lay back and kept the chair upright, kept the metal pokey thing away and was very respectful when I told her I didn't want to hear any numbers called out or see images or xrays of my teeth. I'm disappointed in myself, embarrassed and confused that even though she did everything to help me I still couldn't get a handle on my fear. I've figured out I have a huge trust issue...which brings me to my take on the dentist...

I don't really know him. I didn't meet him in a "neutral" appointment - only because I was in pain. We jumped right into why I was there & got right down to business. I told him I was afraid and that my last dentist said I needed to tell any other dentist/oral surgeon I saw that (and I quote)," I have a severe dental phobia, need valium or something and that he (previous Dr.) couldn't use epinephrine because my heart rate was way, way too high" (which I didn't mention because I thought that was supposed to help you stay numb which I have trouble with). He seems very nice, answered my questions, understands I'm afraid (my heart rate was 185 just for xray appt ) ... BUT made it clear he wants me asleep. I've only let him look, not do a thing yet and KNOW that the first thing he does is a crown is part of the non-stop waterworks & anxiety leading up to next week.

Thank you, Comfortdentist Dr. Kimsey, starting slowly makes more sense than jumping into a first appointment with him planned for 150 MINUTES . Just seeing that in print makes me sweaty and nauseous. No way. There is NO WAY I can do two and a half hours. I think they expect me to bolt after this appointment so the most important issue is being treated first. I don't really know, but I like the way you think. Very reassuring to know there are dentists like you out there, it gives me hope.

I probably should interview other dentists in person, I've looked on line, but I'm embarrassed to say that even talking to dentists and going to offices is so stressful I will shake and sweat and my voice cracks. I feel like a total freak. My options are limited as there are several with family connections to my job and I would be mortified to find the weakest part of me is the topic of their conversation and lose their respect because of something I struggle with. This dentist is unconnected to my job and one of the things I liked were the many videos on his website so I felt like I got to know him a little from a safe distance. I did ask my daughter's pediatric dentist who he would recommend and her orthodontist (through their office staff by phone...I didn't talk to them specifically) and they both said this Dr. so I'm hoping that it is a good sign when professionals recommend him. I don't know.. I have a huge knot in my stomach. A recommendation from one of YOU would mean much, much more...I don't really trust my own judgment right now.

You've all been SO kind...and I apologize for running on and on...and for seeming too paralyzed to help myself. I do come by it honestly. The first dentist I ever met did hurtful things to me as a 4 yr old child alone in an exam room without a hygienist or parent and he wasn't supposed to. I know that sounds like something a 5 year old would say...but he shouldn't have. 40 years later I can't shake the feeling that they are all doing something they shouldn't be. It doesn't make sense...maybe some of you feel the same way? The next two appointments with two different dentists reinforced fear and introduced pain. I want to give this new Dr. the benefit of the doubt that he will be different and I won't be hurt or damaged further but I honestly don't know. I really don't. Sniff.
 
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One of my biggest issues is the trust thing and I have figured out that one of my biggest triggers is that stupid chair. I feel so vulnerable and trapped when they lay it practically flat and you find yourself being hovered over by a bright light (like you are being interrogated for a crime, :giggle: that you didn't even commit) and a dental hygienist plus the dentist. It's a pretty icky feeling.

For this past dental procedure (a root canal, ick) I decided to stop in several times prior to my procedure and just sit in the chair, knowing of course that I wasn't having anything done, but merely there to get a feeling for what it feels like just being there...like a practice run. I was just honest with the staff when I started all of this months ago, telling them of my anxiety and panic and of course my huge dental phobia. In all honesty I feel like I have made some new friends, everyone there has been so respectful and helpful. I live in Arizona and right now it's very hot and one of the symptoms I get while getting procedures done is sweating...I mean SWEATING, face dripping, arms sopping wet, my legs stuck to the seat kind of sweating. It's miserable and makes the anxiety even worse. So last time I went in to have the root canal (a week and half ago) they brought in a big fan which really helped.

I tend to have the kind of personality where I don't want to put any one out, and I hate asking for help or admitting what I tend to think of as a weakness...the anxiety, fear and panic issues. I also have this fear of embarrassing myself, or making a fool of myself...like having a complete melt down at the dentists office. But you know what? I kind of did have a melt down at my last appointment and nobody laughed at me or was mad at me...instead the hygienist held my hand and even rubbed my head...lol...but it comforted me. Before I left the dentist gave me a hug and told me how well I had one...and I thought I had done really badly. It just goes to show how we have these preconceived notions of how awful it's all going to be. But like all things, it is usually never as bad as we think it's going to be.

Another thing that I do while I am lying in that stupid chair is to put my arm behind my head which kind of elevates my head, and helps with that feeling of lying completely flat. I know my dentist needs me to be in that position in order to work on my teeth but anything I can do to feel some sense of control is helpful. I also carry a little cross in my hand (I am a Christian) and I hold on to that for dear life! But it comforts me as well.

I guess the point I am trying to make is to find your own little tricks that are comforting...I know you have fear...and I wish it were easier for all of us but trust me when I tell you that it will never be as bad as you think it will be. It just wont be.

I still have several more appointments and procedures in the very near future and even though I have fear I am learning, slowly but surely, that I can do this...and so can you!;)
 
Martha, you're amazing! How do you know just what to say to make me feel better? Thank you...again! I'm sitting here with a knot in my stomach, gulping tums, wasting energy & losing sleep trying to figure a way out of this pickle I'm in and voila! Here you are offering great insight and encouragement. You totally "get it" and make so much sense. Somehow you've managed to get out of your own way and make forward progress in the face of fear. I say somehow but obviously you've really worked at it, going in a little at a time over time and finding other things that comfort you...Wow. So brave!!

I love that they brought you a fan and are really trying to help in any way they can and see you as a friend, and obviously NOT a problem. I think in the past when I've been in the middle of a meltdown it makes THEM uncomfortable and they react negatively to my energy...and I get more upset if I think they're upset...it is a vicious cycle. Hopefully this dentist will have a better handle on it. I think you are very smart to have them get to know you and you get to know them outside of "procedures". If you don't mind me asking, how long have you been going to this dentist? I've never really had a good or normal working relationship with one. Are you awake when you have anything done? I've read (probably here) that you don't really learn to trust or get over the fear if you medicate your way through appointments and that people who do tend to continue with avoidance and fear after the crisis that got them to the office passes. To be honest, I don't trust this guy enough to be willing to sleep through the whole thing like he'd prefer. Does he prefer it because it is easier for him or me? I just don't know him well enough.

Hand behind the head is a good one. I usually have knees up and hands below chin...usually frozen mid air like I'm trapped in an invisible box! This was the first place that didn't get tell me no. Just let me be. Then again it was only xrays, really. I do feel it takes every bit of self control I have not to push or swat or just get up and go. This may be where your practice runs would come in handy.
 
Thank you for such sweet comments! I have never had any kind of sedation because to be perfectly honest I have some serious trust issues with that as well. Plus I am really med phobic. I am the annoying one who takes it really serious when reading the medical warnings on prescriptions...if your tongue begins to swell, hives, anal leakage, nose bleeds, blindness and insanity...regardless that those warnings are incredibly rare...I still can manage to convince myself that I will be the one. Which for me at least gets back to the original problem...fear and distrust, and an overwhelming desire to protect myself at all cost.

I think we have to rewind our lives and see where these issues come from, for me at least I have some clues. A difficult childhood, a father figure that was cold and distant, a mother that was loving but very needy and childlike, both parents eventually dying while I was relatively young (my dad died when I was 14 and my mother died when I was 41) and growing up in a generally dysfunctional family. I tended to be the peacemaker and problem solver--and I continue to be that person. Always wanting to please, not rock the boat, a go along to get along kind of gal.

In the past I have had dental procedures, lots of them. I had a bad experience with a dentist when I was very young, around nine or ten years old. Later on I was phobic but just white knuckled my way through the experience, unfortunately however I never worked my way through it, at least not emotionally. Which really led me to not going to the dentist for many years and when I would go it was because of a dental emergency, and of course that always tends to be something dramatic (root canal or an extraction) and in the end you are starting the entire cycle all over again. I want to learn how to do this without having it become such a horrific ordeal.

In my situation I can clearly see how my fears are just a symptom of other issues in my life. I just turned 55 and looking back I can clearly see how fears and worries have always dominated my decisions. Whether it was a vacation, flying on a plane, riding in a boat, starting a new job, etc. I would always be the one holding on too tight...the one who honestly believed that my plane would be the one that would go down, the boat I was riding on would sink and I would most certainly fail at the job. I once had a blue pen leak in the bottom of my purse and when I reached inside my fingers were stained blue, but instead of checking to see what had made my fingers blue I automatically started at the cemetery and worked my back. I was convinced I had somehow caught a very rare disease or I was lacking oxygen and would soon pass out. It sounds so silly and I can laugh at it now but the truth of it is this...I was terrified. Fear is the great crippler, it will take a human being and literally put them on the floor. Or it will take lovely human beings, like all of us on this forum and allow us to live in pain from infected, rotting teeth.

Maybe what has finally motivated me is anger. I am sick and tired of the constant worry, the sleepless nights, and the tossing and turning of what if's rolling around in my mind. I think it comes to a point where you have to pull up the power that is firmly embedded in each of us, and tell the fear to take a hike. I think it's the highest form of self-protection that exists.

I hadn't gone to the dentist in over ten years when this journey began this past January. Yes, it has been scary. Yes, it continues to be scary. I even asked my dentist on my last appointment if he had ever had a patient die in his chair. Of course he told me that no one had ever died in his chair, to which I shakily replied "Please don't let me be the first.." How pathetic is that!;)

When I had my last root canal I had convinced myself that it would fail. If you poke around enough you can find all kinds of scary stuff, stories where procedures went wrong, dental melodrama that can and will fuel your imagination for hours and hours. But the reality is this...the overwhelming majority of dental procedures are safe, painless and come out brilliantly. Focus on that, keep your mind trained on what is true and not what fear wants you to believe.

I have the utmost faith that you can do this...and I know it's such a tired cliché but I will share it anyway...if I can do it...anyone can. :XXLhug:
 
Oh, just one more little thing to share. I am married to a man who is actually envious that I get to have my teeth fixed! He has no fear at all of the dentist and can fall asleep at the drop of a hat whether he is having an MRI or a root canal. Naturally he needs very little dental work done because he has routinely gone to the dentist over the years for teeth cleanings and stuff like that...routine maintenance.

My dentist did prescribe Valium in case I felt as though I needed it...and I have never taken one because that opens up another new avenue of fear and trepidation. I do however carry the bottle with me everywhere as though it is some secret talisman that can illicit sacred calming powers when necessary. Amazing what the mind can conjure up!

Also, another goofy thing I do while in The Chair which seems to help...I keep my purse on my lap and hold my car keys as well as my little cross. I also wear my sunglasses, which probably looks pretty bizarre but I am past caring. I think having my purse and keys so close gives me the illusion of control, in other words, if I have to jump up and run out the door there will be no need to look for my purse...I can just leap up and run. And the sunglasses? I am not quite sure. Maybe it gives me a feeling of hiding? The eyes are the windows in to the soul? As you can tell I am just figuring all of this out as I go along!:o
 
I understand not wanting to take meds and the worst case scenario thinking. You are so ahead of the game though now that you have recognized and tried to break the pattern of negative thought. I do think it makes it harder to get a handle on this when you have other serious life stress going on...or overall anxiety. The more you worry and longer you worry the harder it is to turn it off. I do have to say I think to some degree anxiety is a sign of intelligence and sensitivity. Smart enough to anticipate danger and sensitive enough to attach feeling to any and all involved. Not that that is the right way...but often it just is.

Anger can be a powerful motivator! You see that on the news all the time but in some cases that can be good...like now I guess when you have gotten tired of stressing about dental dilemmas, Martha. I totally have a death grip on my purse too...claw marks and all. I seriously find myself picturing the office and an exit really close to the room I was in...don't know if there's and alarm on the door ...but I am one who escapes. They keep trying to put a blanket on me but I can't....too restrictive. The dentist's office keeps finding reasons to call me every morning. I think they think I am not coming...even though I haven't pulled a "no show" before. Stresses me out to talk to them...then gets me thinking MORE about it.

So when are your next appointments, Martha? And SPIKE, didn't you have some coming up too? And ES? I'm all for comparing notes... and any and all suggestions are welcome. I'm up next week, Monday and Thurs...Monday for sure, Thursday not so sure...that's the 2 and a half hour one I just don't think I can do. AND...I'm not sure I should. I know it will never feel right to go and submit to what needs to be done. I'm off to buy more headphones...to block any and all noise...though do you find it makes what's going on in your mouth seem louder??
 
Hi!!

I thought I would jump in as it's always nice to know people are going through dental appointments in the same time frame as you yourself are. I had the first appointment of my treatment plan on the 10th to fill two deep cavities that she was concerned would need root canals, however didn't, and it went smoothly with no pain whatsoever. I have an appointment tomorrow to fill two cavities on my lower right side, an appointment on the 30th to fill the cavities on my upper left, and finally the last appointment is on the 7th to fill the cavities on the lower left.

I've found that taking a combination of ibuprofen and acetaminophen an hour before my appointment helps to calm me down and also gets rid of any discomfort during the appointment, and pain afterwards as the numbness wears off.
 
Hi Brittany!
The acetaminophen/ibuprofen is a GREAT idea....THANKS for sharing!! I will try to remember that on Monday. Sorry to hear you have to have so many fillings...but I guess better than root canals. Drilling is drilling either way and I cringe for you. I am going to redirect you to something in Martha's first post that I find particularly comforting about them being there to help not hurt you and how Spike says things have come a long way in 10 years. I sure hope so for your sake and mine. All of us here really. I hope things go well for you tomorrow and you are feeling a huge sense of relief that part of it is OVER by the end of day tomorrow. Please let me know how it went...if it is easier than you thought it would be, no pain, really fast...only good things, right???
 
Hi Mugz!

My first appointment that i had on the 10th was 'the worst' of the appointments as the two cavities in the two molars on my upper right side were so big, that judging from the x-rays she was fully prepared to do root canals on both teeth but thankfully she was able to fill them normally though it took a full hour. Tomorrow's appointment she only booked me in for half an hour so theoretically it should be a breeze however I'm dealing with the lingering effects of a cold that make breathing through my nose difficult. I bring my phone and listen to music through headphones to distract myself from the drill, which much to my surprise, didn't bother me that first appointment even though she had to drill SO MUCH. The worst part for me was the ring that went around my molar and the rubber dam and that was just uncomfortable.
 
Sorry about your cold...that has to make everything worse, especially with people messing around your face. Good for you for sticking with it anyway. I tend to look for any excuse I can to NOT go. A cold would have been perfect!!! You're very brave...to me....even if you don't think so.

I've never had a bracket or whatever (other than a few braces on a few teeth when I was 10 - I'm 45 now, not a whole mouth). Did they have to tap it into place? I can't handle the tapping. Never had a dam either. It has been literally 10 years since I had a filling and cleaning. And it was 10 years BEFORE that when I had cleaning and a tooth crack and had a crown done. They didn't use either for me back then. The filling was so deep at the time he said it was as far as they could go before a root canal and wouldn't you know it...it's one of the ones needing a root canal and crown now. I wish I could get out of going yet end the pain and save my teeth. Since I haven't figured out how to do that without a dentist I still have my appointments. I'm impressed you seem to be hanging in there before tomorrow. I am going to NYC for a few days tomorrow but know this is going to hang over my head the whole time. I didn't anticipate my dental avoidance decade would be up when I planned the trip months ago!

With all of your fillings have you had a crown done in the last few years, Brittany? I'm hoping it isn't as bad as 20 yrs ago. Has anyone else on this board? I can't get over the fact that they have to grind down your tooth and sometimes mess with the teeth on either side...even more grinding for porcelain/ceramic crowns which is the only kind this dentist does. Also, I asked about a post and he said he doesn't like them then on my estimate I see PINS. I know nothing about that..why...or how many 1-4? Can anyone explain that? Thank you all, for your help and understanding.
 
I understand not wanting to take meds and the worst case scenario thinking. You are so ahead of the game though now that you have recognized and tried to break the pattern of negative thought. I do think it makes it harder to get a handle on this when you have other serious life stress going on...or overall anxiety. The more you worry and longer you worry the harder it is to turn it off. I do have to say I think to some degree anxiety is a sign of intelligence and sensitivity. Smart enough to anticipate danger and sensitive enough to attach feeling to any and all involved. Not that that is the right way...but often it just is.

Anger can be a powerful motivator! You see that on the news all the time but in some cases that can be good...like now I guess when you have gotten tired of stressing about dental dilemmas, Martha. I totally have a death grip on my purse too...claw marks and all. I seriously find myself picturing the office and an exit really close to the room I was in...don't know if there's and alarm on the door ...but I am one who escapes. They keep trying to put a blanket on me but I can't....too restrictive. The dentist's office keeps finding reasons to call me every morning. I think they think I am not coming...even though I haven't pulled a "no show" before. Stresses me out to talk to them...then gets me thinking MORE about it.

So when are your next appointments, Martha? And SPIKE, didn't you have some coming up too? And ES? I'm all for comparing notes... and any and all suggestions are welcome. I'm up next week, Monday and Thurs...Monday for sure, Thursday not so sure...that's the 2 and a half hour one I just don't think I can do. AND...I'm not sure I should. I know it will never feel right to go and submit to what needs to be done. I'm off to buy more headphones...to block any and all noise...though do you find it makes what's going on in your mouth seem louder??

I tried the headphones...and for some reason it just didn't work with me. About a week before my last appointment I tried a hypnosis app, downloaded it for free on my phone, it was supposed to be specific for dental phobias and my plan was to listen to it while undergoing treatment. I actually fell asleep one night while listening to it and it was on a loop which meant I had probably listened to it a dozen times before waking up with the wires wrapped around my neck and one ear bud practically in my mouth. I don't know if I am immune to hypnosis (I would think I would take to it like a duck to water, given my suggestibility) but it really did nothing for me and I didn't even bother listening to it at the dentist office. Plus the guy (the hypnotist) spoke so s-l-o-w-l-y and his voice was very deep and I just kept thinking of Bela Lugosi and creepy movies.

My dentist office calls me every day too. They want to schedule the appointment to complete the root canal (take the temp filling out and replace with the crown) and my bridge work (basically remove the temp, file down the teeth, take the impression and complete it with the permanent) but I just have to give myself a couple of weeks after the last appointment to regroup. I intend to call them and schedule something for next week, and just get this over with...I know the longer between appointments, the more fear builds. But I do think it is okay to just give yourself a little break.

Regarding your appointment for Thursday, the long one. I too have had a few sessions of being in the chair from two to three hours, in fact my first appointment this past Feb. lasted three and a half hours. I almost felt like we should all have a group hug and smoke a cigarette, it lasted that long. I know the thought of being in the chair for that long feels very overwhelming, but it seems to go quickly. I also hold my phone in my hand and check the time--with all the other stuff I am holding I probably sound like a bag lady--but I do not care. When I am at the dentist I do everything I can to make me feel safe and comfortable. I have also taken 'selfies' of myself on my phone. I have no idea exactly why...maybe it is just to occupy my mind, plus it's a real hoot to see yourself later on...lying back in the chair, a hand that is not your own stuck in your mouth, frown lines on your forehead, sunglasses askew, wearing a blue plastic bib around your neck. I often look at those pictures and tell myself, "see...it wasn't that bad...you made it through...you did it once and you can do it again..."

Are you able to do the novocaine shots? I had told the dentist in the beginning that they make me more anxious, causing my heart to race, etc. and so he has used the other stuff which I am too lazy to look up the name...carbacil or something like that...but on this last appointment he had to give me so many shots just to keep my gums numb that finally towards the end he gave me one big walloping shot of the novocaine and it did the trick. My entire face was numb for hours but frankly I was grateful. The only side-effect I experienced was just being wide awake when I came home...usually I go to sleep because I feel so exhausted from the anxiety and stress but instead I was up for hours. I do not know what he will use next time...I am a little hesitant to ask.

Isn't it odd how this subject (fear of dental procedures) can take over your entire life? I seriously sometimes wish I would have just pulled all of them at one time and had dentures made. Sometimes I can be having a great time, laughing with my kids, friends and family and all of a sudden this dark storm cloud rolls through my mind..."oh no...I have to make that appointment to finish up my dental work..." and my entire mood changes. I will find myself suddenly feeling alone and worried, wrapped up in my own head, dreading the future...and yet the reality that there is an end in sight...if only we will march through and get to the other side! Therein lies the courage...to just keep putting one foot in front of another, and eventually it will be finished!
 
Hi Mugz

Nice to see you are getting lots of support; this forum is great for that.

I like to view any dental work as a cosmetic procedure (which indeed it is as it means we get to keep our smile(s) ). That way I feel more in control of things.

Yes I am going in to get a couple of replacement composite fillings done next Tuesday, its my first proper work by my new dentist but he has been so good thus far that I'm not feeling nervous at all; whereas at my previous dental practice I would come to dread the appointments. Just shows how a good dentist who you can trust and get on with makes the whole thing a totally different experience. I now feel that I am being engaged and involved in any decisions and he's also happy to help with any requests I may have (such as taking breaks at convenient places in the treatment so I don't end up gagging).

Another thing to bear in mind is that you are the customer so you can dictate the pace at which things go on (in consultation with your dentist of course).

Will keep you posted as to how I get on next week; it always helps to share.

Keep up the good work; you are doing amazingly :):)

Kind Regards
 
Sorry about your cold...that has to make everything worse, especially with people messing around your face. Good for you for sticking with it anyway. I tend to look for any excuse I can to NOT go. A cold would have been perfect!!! You're very brave...to me....even if you don't think so.

I've never had a bracket or whatever (other than a few braces on a few teeth when I was 10 - I'm 45 now, not a whole mouth). Did they have to tap it into place? I can't handle the tapping. Never had a dam either. It has been literally 10 years since I had a filling and cleaning. And it was 10 years BEFORE that when I had cleaning and a tooth crack and had a crown done. They didn't use either for me back then. The filling was so deep at the time he said it was as far as they could go before a root canal and wouldn't you know it...it's one of the ones needing a root canal and crown now. I wish I could get out of going yet end the pain and save my teeth. Since I haven't figured out how to do that without a dentist I still have my appointments. I'm impressed you seem to be hanging in there before tomorrow. I am going to NYC for a few days tomorrow but know this is going to hang over my head the whole time. I didn't anticipate my dental avoidance decade would be up when I planned the trip months ago!

With all of your fillings have you had a crown done in the last few years, Brittany? I'm hoping it isn't as bad as 20 yrs ago. Has anyone else on this board? I can't get over the fact that they have to grind down your tooth and sometimes mess with the teeth on either side...even more grinding for porcelain/ceramic crowns which is the only kind this dentist does. Also, I asked about a post and he said he doesn't like them then on my estimate I see PINS. I know nothing about that..why...or how many 1-4? Can anyone explain that? Thank you all, for your help and understanding.

Regarding the crown: One of the procedures I recently had done was to have one tooth extracted (my upper right eye tooth) and then a temporary bridge placed on to the two teeth on either side plus covering the space that was left empty from the extraction. They do grind down the teeth in order to place the crown but that wasn't bothersome, in fact at my next appointment they will be finishing the grinding and doing the prep work for the permanent. Also, at that same appointment I had a tooth that was ground down (a back molar) and then a pin placed inside and then a crown placed on top. It was actually a very easy procedure.
 
Hi Mugz

Nice to see you are getting lots of support; this forum is great for that.

I like to view any dental work as a cosmetic procedure (which indeed it is as it means we get to keep our smile(s) ). That way I feel more in control of things.

Yes I am going in to get a couple of replacement composite fillings done next Tuesday, its my first proper work by my new dentist but he has been so good thus far that I'm not feeling nervous at all; whereas at my previous dental practice I would come to dread the appointments. Just shows how a good dentist who you can trust and get on with makes the whole thing a totally different experience. I now feel that I am being engaged and involved in any decisions and he's also happy to help with any requests I may have (such as taking breaks at convenient places in the treatment so I don't end up gagging).

Another thing to bear in mind is that you are the customer so you can dictate the pace at which things go on (in consultation with your dentist of course).

Will keep you posted as to how I get on next week; it always helps to share.

Keep up the good work; you are doing amazingly :):)

Kind Regards

I think that is a brilliant idea to think of the procedures as cosmetic, and I do the exact same thing! If I take the medical aspect out of it and think of it as some sort of beautifying routine it really helps. And actually I was very self-conscious of my smile before I started on this journey and now I really can smile with confidence. When I first started this months ago the decision was made with my dentist to start right away with the things most noticeable, which was a bad tooth in the front of my mouth. After the appointment I was really happy to see the results when looking in the mirror, it just made it feel so worth it...regardless of the fear! ;)
 
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