Tomorrow's Step #1

Hi all.
Oh boy. I'm getting nervous just writing this out.
But tomorrow I'm going to go ahead and call to schedule my first dentist appointment in over 3 years.
I. Am. Terrified.
I was driven to do this because lately I've had some really bad tooth pain on the right side of my jaw. I've been popping at least 6 ibuprofen a day for 2 days now because it's hard to sleep when your nerves are screaming bloody murder at you. I KNOW the right side of my jaw is pretty messed up. It's been consistently painful, one tooth is chipped, and when I feel the surface of my molars (is that a weird thing to do?) they feel a lot deeper and more ragged on the right side than the left- if that makes any sense.
Guys I'm so scared. I had a really bad experience with a dentist the last time I went- I had a horrible wisdom tooth extraction that gave me nightmares for months and even though it wasn't technically done by my regular dentist the fear's carried over.
It's the chair. And the noises.
And I don't want to be judged, guys. Like I know I messed up by not going sooner. I know this. Rationally. But I don't become rational when I think about the dentist.

So my questions for you are:
How do I tell them on the phone tomorrow that I'm terrified about even speaking with them? How do I make them understand that this is more than just a 'oh everyone hates going to the dentist' moment?

Then how do I deal with the stress of waiting for my appointment? I can't make it for tomorrow so it's going to have to be sometime this week or the next but if my toothache doesn't keep me up having THAT looming over my head certainly will.

I have a bunch of other questions about the actual visit but I'll save them for then. I just have to make the call. Baby steps I guess?
My tooth really hurts

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best. I know just how you feel.

Well a day later than I said I would but I finally called this morning.
I don't have many dentist options here (pretty rural town) and the one I decided on wasn't the most reassuring phone call. The woman put me down for just a cleaning and was about to hang up on me when I told her that I had severe tooth pain and needed more than just the basics. She said to let the assistants know when I go in on Friday and that was the end of the conversation.
I didn't get to tell her I was nervous and stressing and sweating just making the call. I didn't get to tell her that I know when they clean they're going to see some teeth in rough shape.
Nothing went according to plan and I feel like I failed at step 1.
This hasn't really done much to reassure me that things are going to be OK. The only reason I'm not cancelling instantly is that my tooth really hurts and it's hard to even sleep at night because it's just constantly aching.
What a bad day.

Just the thought of having to call to make an appointment terrifies me too! Sometimes I think it wouldn't be so bad if someone could make the appointments for me, which is practically impossible because I'm too busy obsessing over what I'm going to say, practicing the words in my head, to wonder if I have the guts to mention my problems to someone other than the dentist.

What pushed me to finally call was another, greater fear that something might be seriously wrong with me. I made the huge mistake of trying to figure out my exact problem online, and I found all kinds of things that horrified me, especially the part about how the longer you leave a problem alone, the worse it will become! I couldn't sleep at night! On the other hand it did push me to call the very next day, so...good thing? I don't know if I would have called the next day if anyone else had been home. I feel the embarrassment of having these dentist fears less with no one around.

Luckily I was able to get an appointment that very day; even though I said the pain wasn't that bad, I just wanted to make sure things were okay, the dentist office said it counted as an emergency so they squeezed me in. I spent all the hours leading up to that time desperately trying to distract myself with TV shows and the like. I don't think it worked much because I was very aware of my fear and watching the clock the whole time!

You. Did. Not. Fail. Fear of any kind doesn't go away in the blink of an eye. Any effort you make in spite of being afraid is a victory. The fact that you were able to make the call at all is enough.