S
Scarlett88
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2016
- Messages
- 113
I have to start with saying that this website can take some credits for starting me on a path I am at now. Healing. I have only started to browse through the forum part a few days ago and I thought I would share my journey here. I hope it helps someone in the future
THE PROBLEM
So lets start at the beginning. I have always had a hard time coping with dental visits. And I had a few from a very early age. There wasn't really anything wrong back then, I believe they were just simple check ups at the beginning, what I really didn't like back then was the lack of communication. I don't think at the beginning those child dentists were rude or painful, I just simply didn't fell secure and had no idea what was going on.
Later on during elementary school my dad brought me with every baby teeth to the dentist. They would not fall out, we would go once they were loose to get them pulled. And I really really really hated that process. Hated the place, hated the doctor. So I think my general discomfort with dentists started back then.
After that era came the braces era. I never had an social problem with wearing braces. But I started to develop a real scare going to the dentist. Lack of communication was again a problem. Dentist who were patronising was another problem. And them not listening to me was irritating. One of my deepest fears from that time was that when they took samples from my teeth, that my teeth would get stuck in the mould form(? - not sure if this is the right term) and be pulled out. This whole era lasted for years. We moved a lot also, so I ended up with 3-4 different doctors taking care of my braces. The whole procedure ended with one doctor who was kind to notify me that I had kept my braces on too long and they should have been removed about 6 month prior to my visit. By that time having the occasional nightmares of my teeth falling out became regular.
Having my braces removed was an important point. I think it was a bit more then 10 years ago. That was the first time the dentist mentioned that I have decays and a cavity. To be honest I was really pissed back then. For having the braces on too long, for having enough of dental appointments, for the braces not having any super visual effect anyway and for the braces basically destroying my teeth. When they took them down I had decays and plaque all over. I didn't like my dentist back then. She was extremely patronising. I also had an issue with my parents being angry and patronising whenever I had some health issue. So I would rather not tell them then going through the whole blaming me for being stupid conversations. So I haven't seen a dentist after that for many years. With the decays remaining.
Then the whole wisdom teeth era came. Basically my mouth structure is too small for all the teeth. Plus they were shuffled around with the braces making even less space. Funnily when they started coming out they pushed back on the line I think that was shoved backwards with the braces. So it began. Almost 10 years of me feeling my teeth relocating in my mouth.
Back then we knew a lady who was supplying high end dental equipment so we asked her help and she recommended the best dental surgeon in the country. Private practice and everything. So we went. And he was terrible!!!!! He did give me a correct diagnosis of having cavities, having all my 4 wisdom teeth growing underneath the healthy teeth etc And he pulled one of them out. If I remember correctly I had a root canal maybe then and maybe one filling. First the guy shocked me. He was rude, arrogant, patronising and old! Looking back now I also think he did a very bad job. It was a horrible and embarrassing experience. I wasnt even treated as a human being. So thats when I had enough.
Obviously the cavities didn't. I have witnessed in the past few year a spectrum of dental problems. But I was so horrified to ask for help - no one ever really paid attention to what I wanted anyway. Plus after 18 my parents couldn't really drag me to the dentist anyway. Then some years ago my mom had to go through some serious teeth replacement process. I realised back then that there is also a genetical thing going on in my family and bad teeth. But the whole process seemed so emotionally complicated and soooo expensive that I decided once again not to mention my own problems. And it turned out that our fancy private doctor eventually didn't do such a good job anyway. So I kind of gave up hope.
Meanwhile ironically I thought bad teeth are way more painful and complicated. I never really had any stronger pain that 2 Advils couldn't solve, no swelling etc. I just really couldn't take care of my teeth. Even if I tried they were decaying way faster. So after a while I totally gave up. I did also loose so 4 of my teeth, the top just fell off. I didn't even feel a thing. It even stopped being scary after the second time. I learned to adjust eating and chewing habits etc. But every time I though if going to the dentist I would get panic attacks. I would get sleepless night. Sometimes from the idea of going to the dentist, sometimes from the prospect of how far this situation could go.
Emotionally it was hard as well. I work in an industry based on beauty, I work with people every day, I have to speak to people. So I started to smile less, tried to be aware of how I talk so they don't notice my teeth. I never used lipstick in my life as I knew it would draw attention. I became less and less confident.
I also learned to live with a variety of pain. My teeth never hurt like crazy. But they did hurt in many different ways. I have also constant headaches. Which I am used to now, but sometimes it can effect life, work, concentration.
I have also gotten into a good university, moved to the UK, started to work. And had no idea how to take out time and disappear for a few weeks to deal with my teeth. And on what cost?
THE PROBLEM
So lets start at the beginning. I have always had a hard time coping with dental visits. And I had a few from a very early age. There wasn't really anything wrong back then, I believe they were just simple check ups at the beginning, what I really didn't like back then was the lack of communication. I don't think at the beginning those child dentists were rude or painful, I just simply didn't fell secure and had no idea what was going on.
Later on during elementary school my dad brought me with every baby teeth to the dentist. They would not fall out, we would go once they were loose to get them pulled. And I really really really hated that process. Hated the place, hated the doctor. So I think my general discomfort with dentists started back then.
After that era came the braces era. I never had an social problem with wearing braces. But I started to develop a real scare going to the dentist. Lack of communication was again a problem. Dentist who were patronising was another problem. And them not listening to me was irritating. One of my deepest fears from that time was that when they took samples from my teeth, that my teeth would get stuck in the mould form(? - not sure if this is the right term) and be pulled out. This whole era lasted for years. We moved a lot also, so I ended up with 3-4 different doctors taking care of my braces. The whole procedure ended with one doctor who was kind to notify me that I had kept my braces on too long and they should have been removed about 6 month prior to my visit. By that time having the occasional nightmares of my teeth falling out became regular.
Having my braces removed was an important point. I think it was a bit more then 10 years ago. That was the first time the dentist mentioned that I have decays and a cavity. To be honest I was really pissed back then. For having the braces on too long, for having enough of dental appointments, for the braces not having any super visual effect anyway and for the braces basically destroying my teeth. When they took them down I had decays and plaque all over. I didn't like my dentist back then. She was extremely patronising. I also had an issue with my parents being angry and patronising whenever I had some health issue. So I would rather not tell them then going through the whole blaming me for being stupid conversations. So I haven't seen a dentist after that for many years. With the decays remaining.
Then the whole wisdom teeth era came. Basically my mouth structure is too small for all the teeth. Plus they were shuffled around with the braces making even less space. Funnily when they started coming out they pushed back on the line I think that was shoved backwards with the braces. So it began. Almost 10 years of me feeling my teeth relocating in my mouth.
Back then we knew a lady who was supplying high end dental equipment so we asked her help and she recommended the best dental surgeon in the country. Private practice and everything. So we went. And he was terrible!!!!! He did give me a correct diagnosis of having cavities, having all my 4 wisdom teeth growing underneath the healthy teeth etc And he pulled one of them out. If I remember correctly I had a root canal maybe then and maybe one filling. First the guy shocked me. He was rude, arrogant, patronising and old! Looking back now I also think he did a very bad job. It was a horrible and embarrassing experience. I wasnt even treated as a human being. So thats when I had enough.
Obviously the cavities didn't. I have witnessed in the past few year a spectrum of dental problems. But I was so horrified to ask for help - no one ever really paid attention to what I wanted anyway. Plus after 18 my parents couldn't really drag me to the dentist anyway. Then some years ago my mom had to go through some serious teeth replacement process. I realised back then that there is also a genetical thing going on in my family and bad teeth. But the whole process seemed so emotionally complicated and soooo expensive that I decided once again not to mention my own problems. And it turned out that our fancy private doctor eventually didn't do such a good job anyway. So I kind of gave up hope.
Meanwhile ironically I thought bad teeth are way more painful and complicated. I never really had any stronger pain that 2 Advils couldn't solve, no swelling etc. I just really couldn't take care of my teeth. Even if I tried they were decaying way faster. So after a while I totally gave up. I did also loose so 4 of my teeth, the top just fell off. I didn't even feel a thing. It even stopped being scary after the second time. I learned to adjust eating and chewing habits etc. But every time I though if going to the dentist I would get panic attacks. I would get sleepless night. Sometimes from the idea of going to the dentist, sometimes from the prospect of how far this situation could go.
Emotionally it was hard as well. I work in an industry based on beauty, I work with people every day, I have to speak to people. So I started to smile less, tried to be aware of how I talk so they don't notice my teeth. I never used lipstick in my life as I knew it would draw attention. I became less and less confident.
I also learned to live with a variety of pain. My teeth never hurt like crazy. But they did hurt in many different ways. I have also constant headaches. Which I am used to now, but sometimes it can effect life, work, concentration.
I have also gotten into a good university, moved to the UK, started to work. And had no idea how to take out time and disappear for a few weeks to deal with my teeth. And on what cost?