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Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Y

Yuki

Member
Joined
Nov 18, 2014
Messages
74
Location
Toronto
I decided maybe journaling will help me somewhat. Im not why. I guess to have a record of this.

I was treated very poorly by dentists as a child. I was somewhat abused by a male dentists when I was 16, so I have always been incredibly afraid of them and only went once every 3-4 years.
On top of all this, I had anorexia for a few years. Which ties into my current dilemma, because my anorexia was based on never being thin enough, attractive enough. And now, I'm losing my front tooth due to a freak accident. I'll reitterate what I wrote in support:

October 03/2016

I've had the most horrible day. So 2 years ago I decided to face my dental fear after not going for 8 years (my phobia is bad). It went ok, and I had a whole bunch of root canals, and crowns. I was finally at easy that I made it to the other side and could be "normal". But it's all changed this summer of course :(

In July, I suddenly got a small bump at the very top of my gum. it felt a bit funner, but not painful. I went to the dentist, and he said I needed an apicoectomy as it was a small infection at the tip of a root canaled root ( recently done). Now it costs $250 just for a consult with an endodentist for this.
They made it for about 5 weeks later. I took an antibiotic and it actually cleared up. there is a very low, faint painless bump where it used to be. No funny feeling, nothing. So since it was the summer from hell ( both parents had major surgeries and I am the only one to take care of them). I decided to push it off to the fall.

Well, then in other news, I have 2 veneers on my 2 front teeth. These are older, and from when i was in an accident where I cracked my skull ( and broke many teeth from a traumatic head impact). So 2 weeks ago, my dog wacked me in the face. He didnt mean to and his head is fine. But it cracked one of my veneers. and half fell off.
I go to teh dentist thinking this is an easy fix. He said it would be ( new veneer). But lo and behold, when he starts to prep my front tooth, he notices something bizarre. To be honest with you, I have NO idea what he was talking about. That tooth had been root canaled- and before i know it he's drilling away ( something about how a root grew to near the surface of my tooth). Then he tells me, and he felt bad- that we cannot save this tooth anymore. I was flabbergasted. It's my worst dental nightmare come true. He told me my options, but I don't want to ruin anymore teeth with some kind of bridge. I opted for a single implant to replace it.

I am so so scared. I have been crying for 10 hours. Especially after reading through the internet- and seeing that I have be basically toothless for months on end. I am just so depressed. At the moment, he put a crown on what little root I have left but said its weak and I can't eat anything even remotely tough or crunchy ( like pizza crust). He did say that I am healthy, I don't smoke, I seem to have good bone up there, so likely an implant wouldn't be a problem, and my consult for that is way off- like Nov 30th. He said it takes like 6-7 months in all, and again, I cannot stop crying. My anxiety and depression are terrible. On top of it, this will cost me $5000 - and I dont know i I can afford both the apicoectomy and the front tooth implant at this time. I know it's dramatic, but Ive suffered from depression for a long time and I'm getting thoughts of opting out. This has been one of the hardest years of my life, and just as I thought things were letting up, now this.

Does anyone have any non-frightening stories about getting a single incisor implant? Or advice? What did you do during the months of waiting with no tooth? Did you hide? I never want to smile again. I am so desperate for help. I have no one to talk to. I can't cry around my mother because I worry about her stress after such a hard summer. My partner just thinks it's about them, everyone just doesn't seen to understand my state. I feel so alone, and so embarrassed everytime I walk into the dental office. Now Im worried I will lose ALL my teeth. That if I dont get the apicoectomy immediately I'll lose that too. I don't have the money for all this.:shame::shame:
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Oct 4th.

Basically Day 2 after this nightmare.

I literally can't stop crying. I can't. I'm currently staying at my parents because the only dentist I somewhat trust is here where they live. I'm non-functional. I know these official terms because I have diagnosis; anxiety and depression. I've been battling these for years. It's embarrassing to have such a state. No one really understands them.
I spent all day unable to get out of bed. Unable to stop sobbing. I do so in the privacy of my own room, because I don't want my instability to stress my mother out. But I have nowhere else to go to be upset and I can't stop it.
I live with a partner, but idk what to do about that either. My partner is younger than me, and it seems like they want me to be the strong caretaker 24/7. I usually slap on a happy face, and hide any suffering I have. When i show I am suffering, they turn it into being about them; where I have to reassurethem that "I am not leaving them". At my worst last night, me being unable to breath from crying, my partner (over Skype) told me they were having "panic attacks". As if I had to take responsibility for them, or somehow reassure THEM it would be ok. But I don't have the capacity to do that. I have nothing left. Im usually give* give* give* - for thsi reason I feel I cannot return to my apartment, because I can't hide these uncontrollable emotions Im having.
Now Im questioning this relationship.

Today I have been obsessed with reading about implants. Everything- scouring the internet. I am SO afraid of worst case scenarios, because I am living a worst case scenario- like, it just happened to me. I feel like the universe wants me to be hideous and unloveable- toothless. And I know I sound crazy, but I can't control my thoughts.
I'm afraid that the dental office thinks I'm a joke. The rational part of my brain says they're not, but how much can they actually care? Are they making fun of me? I'm used to that in dentists. but logically, I have no proof of it so I have to assume I'm just another face. Tho the dentist knows Im terrified of him and that i go to him because at least he tries to be kind.
But all these thoughts are preventing me from calling them, which I want to- to ask about things since I have read everything I can about implants. I have so many fears.
For one thing, it seems like everywhere there are surgeons that will extract a tooth and load the implant SAME PROCEDURE. It saves on time, and amount of appointments. Why does my tooth have to be extracted and heal, THEN have a socket redrilled in at the place Im going to? I want to phone and ask if they do that. I'm afraid of being annoying, but this is expensive. I am petrified. I need to know.
I tracked down other surgeons that offer this to the right candidates. Could I be one? My dentist said; "It seems you have sufficient bone for an implant" and that was his recommendation. Does everyone need bone grafts?
I'm afraid of how low my mood will get during all this. I'm afraid to eat. I have a temporary crown ( that looks awful) on a weak root. The dentist says I can't even eat a pizza crust ( I dont eat it, I eat with chopstick anyways). But now.. I have no appetite and I fear food. I haven't eaten in 2 days.
I have very low self esteem as it is. I can't imagine living for a year with no front tooth and being made fun of. I hear the "flippers" are terrible. I don't want my partner to see me toothless. I don't want anyone too. I know I'm maybe vain or prideful, but a nice smile was the only thing I had. It was the only thing I liked about my appearance. Now it's gone forever.
I have fears that the implant will fail. That I will be one of the 3% that for whatever reason the Gods want to laugh at me. If it is successful, I fear the dentist will have poor esthetic senses and it will look awful.

I'm afraid to smile, Im afraid I will never smile again. And I think no one can understand me or help me.

I'm maybe just a few days away from going back to my apartment, dropping my bags off and checking into urgent care. At least if I admit myself into the hospital, I can cry without worrying about stressing my mother out, or freaking out my partner- or losing friends because I feel no one wants to deal with this in any human. But I'm also afraid even the hospital will think Im silly. I feel like Im locked in a mental prison of suffering
 
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Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

I just can't stop crying. I just can't stop. People are getting angry at me. I don't know what's the matter with me and why I can't do better at handling this. I think it's because it's the one huge fear I have had for a long time. and on top of all my other stresses this year, I just breaking down.

I'm afraid to eat. People don't get it, they just get annoyed at me. I have nowhere to go. I think people, understandably have a very limited capacity for extreme emotional issues. And I get it. it's taxing to watch someone cry all the time. Especially when you don't understand why. And there' snot much to say. there's nothing they can do to make it better. there's nothing they can say.

I made an appointment with my psychologist this Friday. i just need to last until then. Maybe it will help.

I don't know why the dentist did this to me 2.5 weeks before I'm supposed to go on vacation.My partner paid for it and I don't want to go anymore. But I feel terrible. I'm so afraid of losing teeth when Im out of the country in a foreign place. I was told with the false front tooth I have I can't even bite on a piece of pizza. I'm embarrassed to call the dental office to ask them again if they think I should cancel because I know they don't actually care what happens to me, Im just one of hundreds. I'm afraid they'll think I'm absolutely crazy. More than they already do probably.
Why couldn't he have done all that drilling after? I mean if I was just going to lose this tooth anyways in a month, it was at least strong enough in my mouth that I didnt have to worry.

I don't know how to control my fear. I can't control it, and nobody understands.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

I went to see my psychologist today, and it helped for at least a little while. He is a Buddhist too, so he speaks with philosophies I can understand.
I've learned a lot about anxiety in my battle with it over the years. I called my anxiety "My Reptilian Brain". Basically it's the amygdala. So anxiety actually serves us. It's there for a reason, and anxiety can be very productive and of course, it's primary function is to keep us alive and out of danger. In the modern world, when functioning appropriately, it can be positive because it motivates us to do things (such as, go to the dentist to begin with).
But this part of our brain is still pretty primal. For people with anxiety disorders and phobias, when we do things that make us afraid, like go to the dentist for dental work, the "reptilian brain" sends out powerful messages; "YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY A CROCODILE!!". And we sputter, freak out, panic, try to escapeetc etc. But again, this is the modern world, it doesn't match up to the situation, firing off at the wrong strength, at the wrong time. Most of us who experience this wonder why us? Why can I not be someone who just has appropriate levels of anxiety? Like finding something unpleasant, versus thinking you are literally on fire and the world is being destroyed? For most of us it's because of trauma. It's because of how we were raised, and all of that basically wrote our programming, our brains being like a computer.
..and it's super difficult to rewrite hard-wired programming. In fact, most of us will have to accept that there is a base of negative thoughts that will always be there. So for me ( and probably others), when I have panic attacks, when my anxiety is at it's worst, these base negative thoughts can easily take over. So in my case;
- You are losing a tooth. *panic*
- Implant surgery sounds horrible and scary
- I cannot trust them, they will hurt me and not care.
- They will not only hurt me, they will laugh at me.
- They will judge me
- They will humiliate me
- What if there is a way you cannot get an implant? What if you are one of the 2% that cannot?
- What if there is something wrong with all the other teeth? Will I lose them too?
- Dentist all lie. What else is he hiding from me?
- This is hopeless
- You will be ugly
- People will judge you
- people will blame you, make fun of you
- everyone will feel sorry for you
- no one will want you
- no one will love you
- You are unloveable
- you are a failure.

So.. when you dissect my train of thoughts, many of them are useless. They don't serve any purpose at all. They don't make me more productive, they paralyze me with fear actually. The last few thoughts is the bag of garbage I carry around all the time that is there whether the dental stuff is happening to me or not. My anxiety is malfunctioning.
If I were to challenge even a few of these thoughts ( the dental ones).. and Im doing this because it's my personal journal and I don;t care if I ramble lol..

- Yes, I am losing a tooth.
- Yes, it is in fact, scary. ( I'll give you that one reptilian brain, of course it is).
- *They will hurt me and not care* - well, ok so.. I will get sedation. I will demand a ton of freezing. I will make it clear to them that I am petrified. Horrified. I am afraid of pain, I am afraid of breaking into a panic attack. There is no reason they wouldn't comply. I still can't convince myself that they care, but I will believe they care about their money and reputation. But my gosh, I am so so tired of people in the field of dentistry and medicine having no empathy or compassion. It's almost like it attracts them. I think because a lot of people go into it by their parents pressure or for money. Not because they are genuinely interested in making people feel better.
- "What if you are a freak that can't get an implant?" - Well, my aunt who is 70 and chain-smoked for 33 years was able to get a front tooth implant. They had to do some bone grafting, but if she was ok for it, what are the chances I, at 33, non-smoker, go to gym, DRINK KALE JUICE ( even though its gross) will not qualify? Then my anxiety tries to come up with unhelpful possibilities; " What if you have a really weird sinus cavity or nerve or something..something?? What if whatever that freak thing was destroyed your bone in your face! It feels flat! The dentist said you have ok bone but maybe he was lying to get you out of his office because crying makes him uncomfortable!"

My anxiety is like a really shitty friend. The types that kind of wants you to fail but does it under the guise of wanting to protect you :( .

This is enough thinking for me today. I still feel profoundly depressed and scared. But at least I'm more rational. Don't know if that will hold up though the closer I get to my appointment for the consultation :[ . I'll be a basket case.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Hi Yuki

I lost 2 upper front teeth (a canine and an incisor) in a rta when I was 14yrs- had dentures made which I hardly wore because they were too hard and did not stay firm. Then at 26yrs, my dentist arranged for a visiting Indian Implant specialist (to Sri Lanka, my country) to place implants. While 1 of them failed (it lasted for 18 yrs) and had to be removed last year, the incisor implant is still in place. I had a flexi denture made for the missing tooth recently and its quite nice and surprisingly comfortable. The reason why I did it is because like you I too have bad anxiety- My upper right premolar- root canal treated tooth failed 6 weeks after treatment, and because I couldn't handle the burning pain again opted for its extraction instead of retreating it. (plus it had external resorption and perforation) My flexi denture covers this too-the canine and premolar, while I work on relieving my anxiety and (depression at times) - I have acupuncture, and my therapist recommended a book called the Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. It's about facing fear and pain head on. I'm also in the process of searching for a phobic friendly dentist to do implants. Dentures are not bad now and you can save up for implants while wearing them.

Hope this helps you a bit.

Shani
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Thanks for you comment! My anxiety is the result of PTSD. The dental phobia is secondary, but it's really hurting me with this.
It always helps to hear people who have it done. I'm just afraid of the process, I'm afraid it will hurt, afraid of having to live for months on end with a gap ( I know I have a flipper, but they are a pain and they must come out).
It's just torture for me to wait 2 months until my consultation. I'd almost rather do it immediately so I can hear all teh horrible things right away. Not get my hopes up for anything :(
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Today has been really hard. It's like I'm back to ground zero with anxiety. Except now my panic is telling me that this will happen to all my teeth.
When i was hit in the face 8 years ago, and my skull cracked, 3 teeth broke. They were all root canaled and veneers put on. And yet, somehow, something freakish happened to the tooth holding the veneer which is why they can suddenly not save it.
What if this is happening to the other 2 as well? Am I someone who is more prone to this happening? Because it's pretty uncommon apparently. Then I will look at my veneers in the mirror and think..; "Could I see that edge there before? What if it's going to pop off too?"

The problem I have is that I'm due to go on a 7 day holiday at the end of the month. This has ruined it for me. I don't want to go anymore. What if my veneers pop off during the trip? I won;t be able to run to a dentist and hide from the world at my moms :cry:. I just feel like since this freak thing happened to me, ANY freak dental thing can happen to me. Then I start thinking I can feel things in my teeth and I'm not sure if they're there or not.
Surely the dentist would have told me if this was happening to my other 2 teeth wouldn't he? But why didn't he ever notice this before when I asked him to do a check on all my teeth- endured a year of monthly appointments to get everything addressed, and suddenly NOW I have to lose a tooth?
I'm just in Anxiety hell :shame:. I am suffering so much and I don't have a lot of help. I do have another appointment with my psychologist next Friday, but I just want to hide forever. I don't want to go outside, or get out of bed, or see my friends. I know it's all very irrational. I'm being treated for PTSD for other things in my life. I have a psychiatrist, but here they see you once every 6 weeks for nothing but to push the medication of the week on you. And those meds side effects are usually way worse than any help they could give. I'm hoping she can prescribe something like Xanax, though all doctors here are stingy as hell with that now. No matter the height of your suffering. I will never understand why North America sacrifices the needs of the majority of people for a stupid minority. Yes, there are people out there that can get addicted to these pills, but that shouldn't mean people who benefit from the meds should go without.

Another issue is that I don't think my partner understands. I've told them in the past, warned them up and down that I have PTSD. They know it. They watch me take my meds, go to my therapy, go to my psychiatrist- and I've never actually been thru a crisis like this in a long time. Even through the rest of the crap that has happened to me this year, I slapped on a happy face and beared it. So it's not like I lean on them a lot. And it's not like I'm leaning on them now. And I know they don't want to hear me talk out loud that I don't want to go on the vacation. No one wants to hear that because it's supposed to be fun :( . But I am so terrified, and I'm in such a state- I just cannot imagine being like this out of country. Having panic attacks where I can't get to a safe place. So of course I will go even out of guilt and just persevere thru it.
But it bothers me when they tell me that I have to let them "be there for me". Then at the same time make it obvious they don't have a clue what I'm going thru. I never lash out at people, I walk away first, but its getting more difficult not to snap when they say something that illustrates they can't empathize.
 
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Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Well the anxiety didn't get better this week. my father had to go in for emergency eye surgery. Complications from a previous surgery. It was a shock, because he went there to get something checked, and said something was fuzzy in his sight, and before you know it, we're getting a phone call that we have to pick him up, wait a few hours, and drive him for the operation. He is still recovering, but is ok.
I'm probably googling too much about implants. I'm an obsessive googler. But I'm not necessarily the type that believes horror stories ( nothing can make up more interesting tales of terror than my own brain). For example, I successfully googled and anticipated I'd need an apicoectomy.
So with this implant, sadly, as much as I wanted, hoped, cried for some kind of extraction, implant 2 in 1 surgery, it looks like they will probably bone graft me :( . So that means my front tooth will get extract, then they will pack weird bone remains ( please don't let it haunt me), some other bio crap and sew the gum up. It seems even if one has "good bone" ( as my dentist told me, though I didn't press him on it because I was in shock) that they do it for front teeth a lot.
I don't really understand it though. I also read a study where they think ( again bone permitting) that extraction + implant in the same surgery was superior in many ways and did not have a lesser rate of failure. But if I'm right and bone grafting is just mandatory, that means 4 months with a flipper. 4 long months where I won't smile, and probably won't socialize. I suppose the upside is I might be able to get a lot of work done.
Then of course, implant surgery and another 3-4 months. So 8 months where I will want to hide from the world.
I know I'm very lucky to be able to afford an implant. I'm trying to cling to a vision that my smile will look like one I know again. But it's hard not to let the anxiety fill my head with negativity and crazy ideas.

I also cannot tell my brother. He's the type that will tell me it's my fault this is happening to me and I just can't handle that. The waiting for a consultation is hell enough. I think because Im just certain they'll tell me horrible things :shame: . Ever notice the secretary's are robotic? I guess that's they're job. But usually when I tell them I have crippling panic, they just sort of glaze over it; " Oh I see, ahahaha well we'll see you on the 30th!"

Sigh :( .

And now I feel pain in my two back molars. Im scared, but this is sudden and probably anxiety-related. from constantly clenching my jaw. I hope so.

So plan is now- go on my week holiday. Try not to be miserable and anxious the whole time- come home. Catch up on work, make appointment with endodentist for apicoectomy ( god knows how much THAT costs. His consultation alone is $250 and he does nothing! NOTHING). But it needs to be dealt with. Then I'll truly hardcore look for implant maxillofacial surgeons as a Plan B in case I don't like the one I was referred to.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I so relate to all of your fears. But i promise you, you WILL get that old smile of yours again. We WILL get through this. It might be hard, but we are strong, we will power through it. I'm so glad you decided to go on the holiday. You really need and deserve some relaxation. Today I'm practicing staying in the moment, and if my thoughts drift to what will happen, I just try to bring them back to today and the next thing on my agenda. My thoughts do drift often, but I just bring them back. ((Hugs)) I hope you're doing better today.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

So I typed this privately to Flyercat ( who has been a doll helping me)

But Im posting here in case anyone reads this journal on how SHITTY dentists, periodontists and their brethren can be. I just had my consultation for one front tooth implant. I went to the periodontist my dentist sent me to, and it was AWFUL.

I havent even digested it yet. So.. as for my tooth. I was in an accident 10 years ago. What is happening to my tooth is called "external resorption". So my body is actually eating the roots away like it is a foreign element. It's not that usual, but also not way out there. It happens with trauma. Why no dentists ever noticed it until I cracked that veneer? I have no idea. But it means I might need bone grafting ( which Im still unsure, because I was using these front teeth up until 2 mos ago, and right now, the temporary crown is staying in place of course, on the roots). But it causes bone loss.

So I walked in yesterday, I sit in the room. It looks like.. idk, like a school teachers lounge. This Iranian man comes in, burly, and sits down with the X Ray forward to my dental office. His attitude was just....terrible. Like I was wasting his precious time.
He didnt even have a white coat on or anything. I told him I was terrified and had extreme anxiety and he didn't react at all. Just grunted at me. Then he says "Well we dont know what we're dealing with until we extract the tooth".

And I am WELL read on this shit now. and I said.. "but I hear many places put the implant on the same day as extraction? In fact I know someone who just had that".
Well you would have thought I kicked his dog or something with the expression on his face. Then he goes; " Well yes, if you believe in MIRACLES. Maybe I can also put on a temporary crown? How many miracles do you want? Do you want it done right? Or miracles?"

I was just like.. wtf is going on. The he said with tooth resorption, he doesnt know how much bone I have to hold the implant. So I asked if there was a 3D scan or anything we could do to find it out? basically I was asking him how it worked. It was like he wanted me to go into a surgery BLIND. Without knowing what would be done to me.
Then he started telling me of every horror story imaginable. That if I didnt have any bone he would take a strip off my cheek and graft it. Then that would take 6 month to heal. I was terrified.
I mean, my dentist said my bone was ok.. is my dentist an idiot?? Did he lie to me? ( and my fear this whole time was my dentist being a liar).

Then he started asking me why I didnt do a BRIDGE. Im like.. I have 2 perfectly fine veneers on either side! Like, FFS, Im here for an IMPLANT consultation! I though he MIGHT look at my tooth? Maybe look at my gums? Maybe take a CT scan? Nope. He sats in that chair like an asshole drunk on his own importance and treated me as if I was wasting his time.

Then he told me this resorption could happen to ALL my teeth. And then a tear trickled down my cheek, and he said " Well not NOW, I mean they look fine obviously".
Then he suggested I go get a consultation in Toronto ( the big city Im from).

I walked out of there in disbelief. I didnt pay a GODDAM thing. And if they ever send me a bill, I'll fucking send it back with an angry letter. So I got home, called up the other surgeons office ( in Toronto), the assistant spoke to me on the phone. I told her I just had a horrible experience at a consult, I hoped to God they would treat me like a human being, and know I have PTSD. And not make me feel like an inconvenience.

Im like crying as I type this. I just can't believe my luck with this stuff. But I KNEW it before I went in. I swear women have intuition sometimes. And I got a bad feeling about the whole place. Thats why I had a Plan B.

-----------------------------------

I basically had a bad feeling about this place. I urge people to look their specialists up online. This arrogant jerk would have gone in and operated on me and did God knows what.

AFter talking to Flyercat, who is post-op with implant- HER consultation took 2 hours. They gave her multiple X-Rays and a CT scan to know what they were dealing with.
Mine? NONE. Not a single scan. barely a GLANCE at my tooth. It was unbelievable. I was out in 25 minutes, and he expected me to go back there ( or did he? With his enthusiasm it seemed he couldnt care less).

I am now more upset and terrified than ever. Is there such a thing as an honest person in all of dentistry?? I mean my GOD. We are ALL afraid if these people and it's because the majority are shitheads who treat people poorly!

Also? I sincerely doubt he would have treated my 6'3' 250lbs ex-cop father this way. At least because of my extreme distrust of all dentists, I researched a Plan B as said above. A female. She is in the top 3 implant surgeons in Toronto. I will report back to this journal and hopefully I'll have some better news :( .
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

In case anyone is from Canada, do not trust "INTERFACE" for dental implants.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

You absolutely WILL have better news, I'm sure of it. You're going to one of the top implants surgeons in your area - which means you will be in excellent hands. Whoever you saw Wednesday should be in the top 3 of the WORST!! I'm incredibly sorry that happened to you, but it's going to be okay because you're good at taking care of yourself and you're going to make sure you have the best implant surgeon you possibly can. Hang in there!
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Oh I just read your story in horror and almost teared up myself. :scared: I am going through implant process myself and have just been to my consultation this morning - it felt like going to the spa with rainbows and unicorns. It should not go like that at all!!!! Especially with implants it is very important you get the best specialist you can get. If the next doc is in the top 3 and truly is go with her obviously. So sorry that you had to experience that ordeal with that butcher. I am sure with the new doc you will be in better hands, you will obviously feel it once you are there. My consultation took about an hour, but I did the CT 3D Scan 2 weeks ago, my doc knows my case for 4 months now, so he had time to prepare and set up a plan before I went in today. It was more like a presentation and a proper talk through. But yes they would need some time to examine your results, put in the plan tot he program and observe which implant and how they can offer to you.Especially with your case knowing and understanding your bones is super important.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Thanks so much for your reply Scarlet! Im so sorry Ive been absent and not updating. My December was very hard. Both my parents are doing poorly and I've been stressed right out. I'm updating now.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Haven't updated in weeks because I've been living in a bit of a nightmare. Just so many things going wrong at the same time. My father had 2 emergency surgeries. My mother is too poorly to take care of him so I have been taking care of them both. On top of that, Christmas time is the busiest time of the year for me work wise, and I just am so drained.

So after a lot of hell, tears, terrible anxiety, being treated like crap by the first surgeon, looking for another- I was passed on to another- I was at my wits end. She wasn't that pleasant either, but I think it was just her nature to be straight forward, and I kind of cracked up a bit at her office. Not too much, but while hearing her tell me of ALL the things that could go wrong even in a young healthy patient like myself, I just sort of broke down and went on a bit of a rant.
It went something like this; "I'm like..in a state of disbelief. I'm not sure why it is so difficult for me to get a single implant done when I am young, healthy, have never had cancer or diabetes, am a non-smoker...like my aunt is 70 years old, smoked for 33 freaking YEARS and is on her second successful implant. My friend Adrienne was in a car accident, was a SMOKER, and got 5 implants done at her regular dentists office 3 years ago and she is ALSO fine and she has low bone density. My partners mother has had CANCER, 3 rounds of chemotherapy, and got -YOU GUESSED IT- an implant. It has been fine for 5 years.
SO WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS DONE By SOMEONE? Like if all these people can get implants, why the hell is this like a big ass quest for the Holy Grail?? I just don't get what is happening, and I don't get why everyone is telling me horror stories. Like, I am sitting here, money in my bank, I can afford it, and I CANNOT GET ANYONE TO HELP ME. Do you not want to do it? Are you too busy? Not like the look of my face? PLEASE TELL ME HOW I GET THIS DONE. I AM BEGGING YOU."

So yeah I guess it was a little for dramatic in hindsight, but bloody hell. I just.. like.. wtf. And I think I actually intimidated her, because then she tells me she is sending me to her "friend" a cosmetic dentist. He is a restoration dentist, for another "consultation". I went home and just cried. Like.. seriously? This will be number FOUR.

So that is ANOTHER appointment and consultation ( so remember it costs $180 just to have these people talk at me. I am refuting the bill of the first surgeon who treated me like garbage however. Fuck that. I'm not paying for someone who tells me to "go somewhere else").

So the next dentist, is the top cosmetic dentist in my city. He has a wall full of celebrity smiles he has done, and I have had no real good sleep in a week, I'm stressed right out, I took a pill for my crippling anxiety just so my legs would take me there and so I didn't embarrass myself by bursting into tears.
And for the first time, a dentist was nice to me. He told me he will send me to another surgeon ( not the lady surgeon). And Im not sure why the lady surgeon wasn't going to do it, but FINE WHATEVER. But then he tried to upsell me on thousands of dollars worth of veneers and procedures not related to an implant. I will post about this further in my next update because I'm so ...UGH.

So being at my limit, I bring my best friend who is a specialist ( in medicine, I won't say what type, but she has been through 13 years of medical school knows double speak and is one of the smartest people I know). I make the surgeons team aware that I have literally "brought my own doctor" to my appointment. They seem very nice. It went well, but of course I need a CT scan. I was prepared to have a Ct scan THAT DAY, I thought that was going to happen.. but nope. I gotta go somewhere else once again, on another day. But oh! the CT scan place is closed for Christmas. So I have to go back on Dec 28th. Brilliant.

Did I tell you I'm constantly going back and forth between two cities because I'm taking care of my sick parents? It's only a 2.5 hours drive though so ( /sarcasm implied).

So GOT my CT scan finally, and guess what? I have a PERFECTLY REGULAR, straight forward case. My bone is basically pretty good, like my original regular dentist said. I will need a teensy bit of "corpse dust" ( as I like to call bone grafting material) but it will be placed at the same time. So on my surgery day ( if that EVER comes), I will have; an extraction, corpse dust, an immediate implant, and even immediate temporary crown.

So no flipper. That was great news for me. But wait- oh, I have to go back and see the cosmetic dentist again.

I'll write a part two to break this up as this is a wall of information.
 
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Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

So this is my issue as it stands today.

Since I have been through so much absolute bullshit to get an implant, I didn't really digest what was going on with the restoration/cosmetic dentist. I was so tired, and so drained the day I saw him, that everything he said to me didn't sink in for a few weeks. My anxiety can get so bad in fact, that I lose patches of memory for awhile.

But basically, he gave me a bunch of X-Rays, and as I said in my last post, tried to sell me thousands of dollars worth of veneers. And he is a friendly, enigmatic man- yes he is the best, but I am not made of money. I am not rich. I'm not sure why this man thinks I am, but it could be because I can afford an implant ( which in total, will probably cost $7k here. For ONE TOOTH). So this is what he told me that day;

- He will do my implant temporary crown, and final crown
- He wants to replace the veneers from my original accident
- he wants to put on a fourth veneer on a perfectly healthy tooth for cosmetic reasons (??)
- he wants to whiten my teeth
- He wants to do a root canal RETREATMENT on my other front tooth. He feels the root canal doesn't go all the way up. and put a crown on that one.
- he wants to make a complete mock up mold of my entire mouth to see how we can make it PERFECT.

They cannot give me a final write up on the estimate of COST until this coming Monday.. but omg. This alone looks like $14000 in my head ( i asked how much one veneer costs there and ONE is between $1700-$1900).

Remember, I have been through 5 consultations, multiple X-Rays, a CT scan- I have paid $1300-$1400 already and I have had NOTHING DONE.

NOTHING.

So then they phone me, to explain to me what I can expect Monday. My consultation, ( that the surgeons office said will be for molds for my implant crowns) will be a FULL WORK UP. They will do MORE X-rays and look at my *total mouth*. They want to see the health of ALL my teeth.

Like, ( pardon my language because Im getting angry). FUCK NO. Like, NO. I'm so tired of this. For one, I do not need a root canal retreatment. And i resent how they implied the dentist who did in Japan was somehow substandard. Hate to break it to some western dentists, but the expert in Tokyo are actually very very good. The only difference is that they don't usually try to swindle you or milk you for money because it is shameful. My front tooth has never bothered me in 10 YEARS. My CT scan showed there was nothing wrong with it. It is not infected, it is no failing, so WTF? Don't tamper with something that isn't broken. I JUST WANT A BLOODY IMPLANT. I DON'T WANT A CAR. I DON'T WANT A TIME SHARE In MEXICO. I WANT My FRONT TOOTH.

Oh and the price of Monday's appointment? $600! Yep. To get NOTHING done. But my "full work up". So I had enough. I cry all the time about this when I think about it. I am so anxious and stressed out. So I decided to write my "Treatment Coordinator" ( which I didnt even know existed as a job- basically you get one when they think they will make a lot of money). I write an email, because my anxiety is so bad that I am having a hard time thinking about talking to them on the phone. And this isn't good, because I'm supposed to be able to trust these people. I how can I when they are just trying to extract money out of me?
So I wrote a polite but firm email, explaining that once again, I have a profound dental phobia. I have been working through it with my general dentist now for 3 years. I do not NEED a "full work up". Also, I do not WANT a root canal retreatment. I don't think it's necessary at this point in time. I have reached my stress limit, and cannot handle any more. I want to get my implant done, my veneers replaced. I have had enough imaging.. like a zillion X-Rays and a full jaw CT scan. I do not NEED any more ( and I know for a fact they already X-Rayed my front teeth themselves, along with the dentist before that, the dentist before that, the one before that- like what more do you need to know to make a fucking crown, and slap on some new veneers? SERIOUSLY.
So NO. If it does NOT involve my front teeth, I do NOT want it done. I am so saturated with anxiety that I can't even sleep right. My neck has pain because I tense my muscles. My work is suffering (I have a creative job) and I feel like there will never be an end to this.
( Of course, I said this much more eloquently).

So then, of course, I made sure to add a last paragraph singing the praises of the dentist, stoking his ego, because I am so afraid to stand up for myself with dentists. I fear that if I am not nice, they will pawn me off to someone else, fuck me over, do a shitty job etc etc. But I did stand up.

The coordinator emailed me back the day before yesterday saying she got my email, would consult with the dentist and get back to me. I am now living in paranoia about it. I have no idea how they will react. I'm afraid they will try and sell me more shit I don't need, and I just.. I just cannot look for another team yet again. Im so scared of that. I'm sick of being passed around like dog poop.

This is why people hate dentists. None of them, not even the top people are trustworthy. If they don't hurt you, shame you, treat you poorly, screw up your teeth, they try to sell you a bunch of procedures you don't need. Like.. how the hell can I trust them? And this is my dilemma today.
How do I trust this new dentist? I am now afraid of him. I wish I was stronger. I wish I just had am unapologetic attitude where I was confident to advocate for myself, and didn't feel upset by it. It's just this is so important to me and I don't want to have a crappy job done.

I am just so fucking done with this. I think I will never trust a dentist. Like, there will never be one out there that isn't motivated by greed.

Still waiting to hear back from them. I dread it tho.
 
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Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

I just looked at the costs and what he wants to do in the last post on your other thread.

He is, in my opinion taking you for a ride.
$7K for one implant??!!
Let alone everything else he wants to do.

If I were to have an extraction and implant at my private dentist it would cost me 2700 in USD. I'd personally add $300 to that for anything else cropping up - x-rays and everything.

Switch dentists is my advice and do it now.

Best thing to do at the dentist - never be 'affable'. If it means take someone with you then do so. I was affable myself far too many times due to anxiety. This recent time I wasn't and it has served me incredibly well.
You said yourself you lose memory etc and I think you perhaps have not spoken up enough.
The good news is you have the opportunity right now to do something about it before spending ridiculous amounts.

Just switch - please!

Start afresh with someone new.
Don't go to see this guy again - you're going to be throwing money down the drain.
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

Thanks for you comment Suzanne.

I think though it's more expensive in Canada than the US. So even if an implant cost say, $3200 USD, that is $4200 CAD. (STill a lot less I know). I am also seeing the top "TV celebrity" guy... I mean, idk how I got here. It's because I wanted the best, and this team IS the best- so I am getting my extraction, immediate implant and a temporary crown in the same procedure ( meaning I will not need a flipper). Then afte it heals, a permanent crown.
This also include sedation. I have to get I.V sedation because I'll panic. So that requires an anesthesiologist here. I know the cost is extravagant. And I'm willing to pay for it if it means the process will go smoothly and quickly. However, I resent people who assume that just because I can afford that, means I'm somehow stupid and will fall for everything they suggest.

I'm in the process of fighting back at the moment. Monday will be a big day for me, as I go in there and battle for what I want. I am just getting so freaking tired of this. I mean.. imagine how nice it would be if you could depend on a dentist to do things honestly, effectively, and not have to sleep with one eye open around them?
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

simple questions:
Exactly what do you want?
Do you have any pics or x-rays that you would want to post?
 
Re: Yuki's Dental Hell (dentists, implants, extreme anxiety- a real fun read)

simple questions:
Exactly what do you want?
Do you have any pics or x-rays that you would want to post?

Forgive my anxiety-driven angry outbursts from yesterday (I can see you are a dentist and i don't want to insult you), but this whole thing is just about me needing a front tooth implant, and I'm just worn out. My one front tooth has root resorption. It's thought that this is down to a traumatic hit to my face 10 years ago ( I was in an accident, had to have 2 front teeth root canal and veneers on them, a third tooth just had a veneer). Thus, I need to have an extraction and an implant in order for my front tooth to be fully functional. As it stands now, I have a temporary crown on a tooth with a weak root for vanity purposes until this is done ( I avoid using it).

Since then, I have been to like, 5 consultations with various dental entities. I know I have had like, at least 3 sets of X-Rays done by various dental offices (I did that at my consultations, they had them up on a monitor to talk to me). I also had a full jaw CT Scan. No, no one gave me hard copies of any of these. They just take them and keep them. As for the CT scan, that was just 10 days ago, and they phoned me with the results. The only X-Ray I have is a photocopy from my original general dentist. It is no mystery that I have root resorption. Out of my 5 consultation, one surgeon said the root canal on the other tooth *could* go up higher, but it could be the way it is because my canals got too small. 3 said nothing and didn't notice any problems. All except the one restoration dentist guy who wants to re-treat it when there is no infection, inflammation, nothing. It has never bothered me.

As weird as it sounds, I have a lot of friends in the medical profession ( various specializations). I'm getting plenty of opinions from highly educated people who at least know a lot about soft tissue, infection, inflammation and have an intrinsic knowledge of anatomy and the human body. Most concur this is unnecessary ( tho we will freely admit we are not dentists. It just doesn't make sense from any other medical standpoint. And in Canada, medicine is government regulated while dentistry is not). This restoration dentist is surely very good at what he does, however he seems like an obsessive perfectionist. Which is fine if you have a tendless money, no brains, and no dental phobia. But it makes no sense to re-aggravate tissue for no real good reason directly beside an implant site. I'm afraid of basically fixing a tooth until it has problems.

I'm just so scared all the time. I grow more scared by the day. It's really having a negative impact on my mental health. And I'm afraid to stand up to them more than I have. The more I have to defend myself, the less I trust them. The less I trust them, the more my fear and anxiety grows.

I have to go on Monday now for my molds and I talked them down from their expensive, lofty plans, and I'm afraid how they will treat me because of previous experiences. I have been working with a general dentist for 3 years on my dental phobia. I have gone to him regularly.

I wasn't seeking anything but an implant. Now, I find I am having veneers replaced, which I agreed to, but there is no need to take X-Rays or anything other imagine beyond what I have already had to do carry out this work.
 
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