Help, motivation and advice needed.

Last time i've been to a dentist was 7 years ago. I had one of my teeth removed and i've got the talk, the "looks" and everything there ( she wanted to remove a teeth that only had some caries for some reason). When i was a kid i've heard people screaming and crying on a few ocassions got to a dentist, so one time i ran away. I've been strugling with going to the dentist for 7 years now fearing that i would get humiliated and i feel ashamed of where i've come to with my oral state. Most of my teeth need cleaning, fillings, one has rotten to the gum level, two half rotten, two startet hurting when i bite in.

Front ones seem to be in good shape. Bootom row just needs cleaning, caries removal and fillings. This has controled my life since 7 years ago. Destroyed my confidence and left me depressed. Limited me in finding jobs, relationships, creativity.

I'm sick and tired of this controling my life for such a long time... i always imagine the things i could do if i didnt have this shipwreck in my mouth. I realise it's not going to get better if i do nothing and speaking to other people in this small city would just spread around " the word ". I really need some people that have experienced or are experiencing the same thing to help me collect courage to do this. I'm terrified of what the dentist will say and what will happen after... I almost got the courage to go to the dentist 2 years ago but i failed....

Hey, I think we are kind of the same that my last dentist visit was also about 5-7 years ago. And the tooth guilt has been pretty much constant ever since, especially since I have a tooth that I was told should have been pulled ages ago...

I got a lot of courage reading people's experiences in this forum to make an appointment for next week. I contacted a clinic, the doctor replied after I introduced myself via an e-mail as a nervous patient who hasn't been a while. She wrote that we can just do the cleaning first time and then take it from there. Sounded very understanding. I hope it will all go well but it has been a huge step to take...

It's never too late to start looking after your teeth, and better late than never, is what I tell myself. I really want to get this whole thing sorted out and am imagining how good it must feel afterwards. I have many fears of what the xrays may find (from cancer to jaw bone destruction... and I don't even suffer from any pain) but I know the situation will not get ANY better unless I actually take the step and go to the dentist now.

I hope this helps a bit.

Hi,

Sorry to read about your difficult situation. Sharing your story in this forum is already a significant step in the path of reaching the dental health and quality of life you deserve. Don't stop, continue this path.
My approach as a dentist who treat phobic patients is simply tender loving care. Of course there are techniques, theories and drugs but in the end everything is about the human empathy. The trick is to find such a dentist and patiently build together a trustful relationship.
To start with, you might consider the option of seek ring a dentist also outside your small town. The variety and options of dentists you have the better you can choose.
First hand recommendations are very valuable. You can find them among your friends and family or in the social media. I would decently recommend avoiding big busy clinics. The optimal practice would be a small family type dental clinics c with minimal commotions.
While reading your story I felt not only empathetic but also the dynamic of your fear, how this fear developed and got rooted in. I think that sharing your story will not only be informative for the dentist but also a way for you to see the dentist reaction, see whether he/she addresses your concerns and fears seriously.
I would also add to your story how do you imagine an ideal dental visit, or at least give practical do's and don't do's that will help your dentist to provide you a good experience.
If a dentist makes a humiliating remark or tries to make you feel guilty, not only he is abusing his position but also that he is not the right dentist for you.
Dental anxiety is so known and frequent, that it is safe to assume that at least 7% of the adults in your community avoid going to the dentist because of their anxiety. I have personally treated army combat officers who were extremely afraid of the dental treatment. I think you are in good company in that aspect.
From your description, the first thing the dentist has to do is remove all bacteria from your mouth (that includes teeth cleaning, cavities, extractions...) and once you mouth is clean and stable, to offer you a treatment plan for adding more molars (in case you are missing molars or molars were extracted).
Usually these two steps treatments take a few weeks.
Feel free to post any dental question.
All the best,
Daniel

I've decided to make an appointment next week ( private dentist, not public ), ill see how is this dentist and ill talk with him/her about my fear. Thanks for your kind words and bless you for being such a good person. I've read some of the stories on this site and they really did help me decide. I will keep you updated in here of my status. And i have a question Dr.Daniel, when is a tooth unrepairable?

Gerith, good luck on your journey. Keep me updated on your status and i will do the same. I'm going next week, im tired of this. Whatever happens, ill push trough it. I still feel sad and dissapointed about myself... hopefully it will all work out so i can jump over this wall.

Myselfandi said:

when is a tooth unrepairable?

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When there is not enough healthy tooth structure to build on top. Every feeling or crown has to have a good grip on the tooth. If there is not enough tooth structure to build on, the tooth should be extracted.

Update: Got booked a scan and check on 09.12. , after that an operation of that tooth that went to the gums. It's root has merged with my gums. After that i have some to be pulled and some repairs. But the waiting times for the operation are like one month :/

Reading your post made me recognise myself from five months ago. I was living together with this dark secret and pain within me for about 8 years, ruining my confidence, making me depressed, gloomy, being in constant pain, headaches, and suppressed emotional stress, anxiety, sleepless night and worries how my mouth and my teeth will just rot away on me. While being extremely scared to go to a dentist.
I kind of feel that my saving began with coming to this forum, reading stories, reading solutions - sou you are in a good and supporting company over here!


You have done the first few steps that need the biggest courage: made the decision and booked the check up. I believe that this beginning is the hardest, because this is the last thing you are doing alone. So please be super proud of yourself and remember that from now on you wont have to face this alone because you will be in caring hands of doctors.
Telling your doctor about your fears can be both good for you and the doctor, having that trust can help so much with feeling secure, and less stressed over treatments.
I had to wait about a month between my check up and my extraction surgery so my doctors have decided to go on meanwhile and do some of the smaller stuff to get everything out of the way till we get to my implants. It can help with the waiting and give you time to bond with the doctors But if that is not possible for some reason don't stress about it. Nothing major will change in those few weeks. You have already started the your journey.
That said when setting up treatment plans be super smart about replacing those missing-pulled teeth.

Almost forgot, quick personal experience. I had several teeth broken down till the gumline, dying and being exposed for years, those couldn't be saved. But I had one borderline tooth, a pre-molar where the chewing surface was very decayed, and broke off in 2 pieces eventually till the gumline but my docs pulled together all their magic skills and managed to get it rootcanaled, build up a stump and put a crown on it. Bought me about 5-10 years with that tooth probably. But what was the main reason, that the root was still healthy and the tooth was vital - hanging in there fighting to survive.

Scarlett88 said:

Reading your post made me recognise myself from five months ago. I was living together with this dark secret and pain within me for about 8 years, ruining my confidence, making me depressed, gloomy, being in constant pain, headaches, and suppressed emotional stress, anxiety, sleepless night and worries how my mouth and my teeth will just rot away on me. While being extremely scared to go to a dentist.
I kind of feel that my saving began with coming to this forum, reading stories, reading solutions - sou you are in a good and supporting company over here!


You have done the first few steps that need the biggest courage: made the decision and booked the check up. I believe that this beginning is the hardest, because this is the last thing you are doing alone. So please be super proud of yourself and remember that from now on you wont have to face this alone because you will be in caring hands of doctors.
Telling your doctor about your fears can be both good for you and the doctor, having that trust can help so much with feeling secure, and less stressed over treatments.
I had to wait about a month between my check up and my extraction surgery so my doctors have decided to go on meanwhile and do some of the smaller stuff to get everything out of the way till we get to my implants. It can help with the waiting and give you time to bond with the doctors But if that is not possible for some reason don't stress about it. Nothing major will change in those few weeks. You have already started the your journey.
That said when setting up treatment plans be super smart about replacing those missing-pulled teeth.

Almost forgot, quick personal experience. I had several teeth broken down till the gumline, dying and being exposed for years, those couldn't be saved. But I had one borderline tooth, a pre-molar where the chewing surface was very decayed, and broke off in 2 pieces eventually till the gumline but my docs pulled together all their magic skills and managed to get it rootcanaled, build up a stump and put a crown on it. Bought me about 5-10 years with that tooth probably. But what was the main reason, that the root was still healthy and the tooth was vital - hanging in there fighting to survive.

Click to expand...

Thanks for you story, i've got it pulled out 2 days ago, but the dentist chipped a tooth next to it while he was pulling this out ( wasnt an operation ). So thats kinda fucked up but yea, its repairable. Now i have to wait till this heals so i can repair that one xD. I had 0 fear while doing this, reading stories on this forum really did make me change my mindset . Thanks to everyone in here for being awesome and good luck in future. Ill probably keep you updated if any of you are interested in it. Like a little journal