• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

    Register now to access all the features of the forum.

Having bad teeth is like a life sentence without possibility of parole

T

TryingMyHardest

Junior member
Joined
Nov 10, 2017
Messages
10
Earlier this morning, a tiny flat chunk of my tooth came off. I have no idea what tooth exactly because I have a major problem of looking at my teeth. I can't look at them, it makes me go in a state of panic. And not just my teeth, any teeth. When people yawn in public, I try to look away. Seeing inside of the mouth terrifies me. I've had dental problems all my life. I am 30, I have 17 remainingvteeth and a partial denture that I hate. I forced myself to look at my teeth while brushing them today and now, I am crying because of it. The sensation of toothbrush makes me cringe. I take off my glasses while brushing my teeth so my mouth is a blur in the mirror. I have a paranoia that all my teeth are loose. I feel hopeless. I do go to the dentist on a regular basis only to discover more problems. I don't know how to overcome my fears and give myself credit for at least trying to take care of them. The worst part is that I can't talk to any of my friends or family members about it because I am afraid I sound like a broken record and it annoys them. That is why I join this forum so I can vocalize my fears to someone who can relate. I feel very lonely in my fears.

I have been wearing an acrylic upper partial for almost a year now. The sensation of it in my mouth makes me depressed. Not that it is ill fitting but just the sensation itself brings me down so much, I can't focus on anything else. Every day of wearing it is a challenge. I feel bad for feeling bad if it makes any sense. I try to remind myself that I am not in fact missing a limb, that there are people who have to wear prosthetic arms and legs and they have courage to live full lives. However, having to wear dental appliances at the young age (30 yo) causes so much internal struggle. My front teeth are shifting and having a denture doesn't help. I hate my teeth and I hate myself because of it. I feel like a horrible person for complaining about it. I should be grateful that I am alive and overall healthy. But having bad teeth is like a life sentence with no possibility of parole. I see my dentist more often than I see my friends. Every time I get in the dentist chair, part of me dies. There is no remission between my visits. So much work has been done and there is always more. I cannot recall a period in my life time without having some sort of dental problem. I don't remember last time I smiled without feeling self conscious.

Every time I floss, I get panic attacks. I feel as if all my teeth are loose and by flossing, I will damage fillings and crowns I already have. Any amount of pressure on my teeth whether from floss or even toothbrush makes me cry. I brush every day at least twice. But flossing requires a special mindset. At times, I can't force myself to do it and feel horrible for not being able to overcome the fear. I am aware of regular flossing benefits,but the sensation itself makes me cringe and cry like a baby. I don't know how to overcome it.
 
Last edited:
Re: Tiny chunk of tooth fell off causing panic and major depression

Have you looked into any therapy for your anxiety over this? Many therapists offer sliding scale payments to meet different incomes. Because it sounds like this is taking a huge psychological toll on you. Other people here have been in similar situations - I went years without looking at my teeth, and we've had lots of people who are afraid of brushing or very uncomfortable with it.

You know you don't have to look at them while you brush? If it's easier on you mentally, you can take your brush etc to a different room while you do it and maybe watch some tv to distract you.

How is your relationship with your dentist? Are they kind and patient? Finding a dentist who can go through your fears with you (some of them, like loose teeth, may be unfounded for example) and talk to you about long-term treatments or ways to combat them. A dentist specialising in phobic/anxious patients might be able to help.

Hang in there :hug4:
 
Re: Tiny chunk of tooth fell off causing panic and major depression

I am generally incredibly anxious person. I am being treated for mental illness. I have suffered through physical assault and the ptsd it has triggered. 3,5 years of substance abuse. 2 suicide attempts. I've eliminated a lot of sources of my anxiety. I believe that fixing my teeth is going to do wonders on my psyche. Or at least I hope it will. I am just taking it one day at the time. One dentist visit at the time. My main problem is a self blame. I beat myself up for not doing enough to initially preventing the horrible condition my teeth are in even though I realize it is hard to go against poor genetics. I work with people so inability to smile with confidence has turned me into a very closed off person. Every encounter makes me think that people only notice my teeth and nothing else. Dental problems have lowered my self worth.

Thank you for the compassion. It means a lot to me.
 
Re: Tiny chunk of tooth fell off causing panic and major depression

I am generally incredibly anxious person. I am being treated for mental illness. I have suffered through physical assault and the ptsd it has triggered. 3,5 years of substance abuse. 2 suicide attempts. I've eliminated a lot of sources of my anxiety. I believe that fixing my teeth is going to do wonders on my psyche. Or at least I hope it will. I am just taking it one day at the time. One dentist visit at the time. My main problem is a self blame. I beat myself up for not doing enough to initially preventing the horrible condition my teeth are in even though I realize it is hard to go against poor genetics. I work with people so inability to smile with confidence has turned me into a very closed off person. Every encounter makes me think that people only notice my teeth and nothing else. Dental problems have lowered my self worth.

Thank you for the compassion. It means a lot to me.

Hey Nata,

A lot of what you posted resonates with me.

Firstly, you've been through a lot and the fact you're still here is a testament to your inner strength. You should be proud.

I've had depression and anxiety for at least my entire adult life, which means I've neglected my teeth for a long time. I'm at a point now where I realise that I can't overcome my depression and anxiety until I am happy with my teeth. Nothing else is truly ever going to resolve my problems - no amount of therapy or medication or meditation is going to erase that constant feeling of shame and low self worth. I will never have any confidence or be able to lead the life I want - jobs, relationships, friendships etc are all affected by this. It's horrible to feel uncomfortable and judged whenever you are around people because of your mouth. I can't remember the last time I smiled freely or had a conversation with someone were I wasn't conscious of them judging me.

I hope you find some success with getting your dental issues resolved. I commend your courage that you've already been seeing a dentist - I'm not even at that stage. :(
 
Re: Tiny chunk of tooth fell off causing panic and major depression

Hey Nata,

A lot of what you posted resonates with me.

Firstly, you've been through a lot and the fact you're still here is a testament to your inner strength. You should be proud.

I've had depression and anxiety for at least my entire adult life, which means I've neglected my teeth for a long time. I'm at a point now where I realise that I can't overcome my depression and anxiety until I am happy with my teeth. Nothing else is truly ever going to resolve my problems - no amount of therapy or medication or meditation is going to erase that constant feeling of shame and low self worth. I will never have any confidence or be able to lead the life I want - jobs, relationships, friendships etc are all affected by this. It's horrible to feel uncomfortable and judged whenever you are around people because of your mouth. I can't remember the last time I smiled freely or had a conversation with someone were I wasn't conscious of them judging me.

I hope you find some success with getting your dental issues resolved. I commend your courage that you've already been seeing a dentist - I'm not even at that stage. :(

Thank you so much for the kind words of support. This forum is the only place I get to talk about my fears without feeling judged. I often feel bad for being depressed over my teeth condition, I try to remind myself that I am not missing a limb. However, wearing a partial every day before encountering any human being can be so challenging. I feel less of the human. Cleaning my denture before bad is like a shameful ritual that I makes me feel incredibly lonely.
 
Re: Tiny chunk of tooth fell off causing panic and major depression

Thank you so much for the kind words of support. This forum is the only place I get to talk about my fears without feeling judged. I often feel bad for being depressed over my teeth condition, I try to remind myself that I am not missing a limb. However, wearing a partial every day before encountering any human being can be so challenging. I feel less of the human. Cleaning my denture before bad is like a shameful ritual that I makes me feel incredibly lonely.

Yeah, posting on this forum is the first time I've been able to speak about my fears regarding my teeth. I'm so ashamed about this, there is no one in my personal life I can talk to about it. I am so ashamed it took me months of lurking on this forum to build up the courage to open up to a bunch of strangers anonymously. The idea that anyone knows that I have bad teeth (even though it's obvious) is mortifying.

I hate that I feel like this. I hate that you (and others) feel like this.
 
Back
Top