My Story and Phobia

Hi everyone,

First of all this is really long and I'm sorry for that .

I'm Rachel from Canada and I am so happy to have found this site. Someone who finally understands, a whole lot of someone's ? I had used this site a couple of years ago when I needed to find a new dentist and the fear checklists were very helpful and my new dentist has them on file.

Almost a week ago I was having some pretty bad pain , a toothache but I wasn't sure which one , I had an idea since I spotted a cavity in my back molar which had already been filled extensively and hurt afterwards. My dental hygienist said it was the biggest filling she had ever seen and was proud of me for getting it done. That was last year so I've been pretty lucky to have no problems with it up until now ? (I actually had my first "you don't have to come back and get anything fixed" emotional moment last September!)

So the pain got so bad last weekend that I actually started looking up dentists who were open on weekends and unfortunately mine wasn't. I made the decision to go to the only one who was open and who took my payment option . First that was hell cause I had to wait PAST closing time to even be seen and I'm sure as you know waiting rooms are a great place for panic attacks to spawn. I didn't have a full blown one but I did cry at the reception desk ? When I finally went in the dentist barely spoke English so that didn't help calm my nerves. He looked inside and tapped each tooth in the area where I said it hurt and then took an x-ray (I was laying down, always have had them sitting up so that weird). I did the best I could with it cause I hate them and he got the one he needed first try. Then came the diagnosis of pulpitis. I was just thinking omg here we go again and then he said he could either cut the nerve ( I assume he meant root canal?) or "extract it in 10 mins" so obviously I was like no thanks, I want to go to my own dentist but can you give me anything for pain until tomorrow, he gave me Motrin.

The next day I was able to get in and see my own dentist even though he was originally just going to look at the x-ray and get someone to call me. Nope he made time for me, looked at my teeth, tapped them , used cold water on them and looked at the x-ray for a long time. He said he didn't see any signs of infection but if the tooth was hurting me that bad it should come out. Unfortunately he said he wasn't able to do it and I needed to be referred to an oral surgeon. There is one that comes in but he wouldn't take my payment method ? It was nice of my dentist to find one that did , just was upset it was going to be in an entirely new building. He also said if the pain didn't subside in a couple days he would give me antibiotics.

So the next day I had a consultation with an oral surgeon in another city since everything was booked up until February here. The drive there I was ok except for some pain. The waiting room I cried in multiple times, I was on the edge of panic and was in the bathroom more than once to try and calm down. That wasn't even the worst part sadly. Once my mom and I were taken into a room by a nurse, I started to cry again! I sat down at the desk and she said we were going to just talk then I saw the machine beside me and started freaking out pointing at it...a blood pressure machine. She put the cuff on me and started pumping, I hated the feeling so I had a full blown panic attack! It was like someone latched on and wouldn't let go. After it was off me , I started crying again and started sweating profusely and said I needed to lay down. "The nurse was like what do you mean lay down?" I started thinking about leaving the chair at the desk and just lying on the floor. As I was getting up someone suggested I sit in the dental treatment chair cause it was half back so I did that and needed a cold paper towel on my head and to drink water. Terrible terrible experience for me but now you will see why I'm so scared about this appointment. After this the oral surgeon came in and talked to me, looked in my mouth and then somehow I was able to have my heart and lungs checked with the stethoscope. He set up an appointment with me, said I should have general anesthesia and told me to meet with the anesthesiologist back in my city.

The following day I met with the anesthesiologist who was very nice and calming to talk to despite all these scary sights around the room. He talked to me and my parents for a long time and was explaining to me that the needle is so small and I will be out in 3 seconds. I felt ok leaving but then saw the various operating and recovery rooms and started crying on the way out. I could have had the surgery the next day but I said no. So I was booked in for January 25.

If you are still reading then you deserve an award! I'm almost done though.

The following day I was in worse pain, I had swollen lymph nodes under my jaw and couldn't open my mouth all the way. I called my dentist and he prescribed me antibiotics for 7 days. I'm currently on those and Advil/Motrin. I got a cancellation call and now my appointment for extraction is the 16th! As you can probably guess I'm terrified. I have had my wisdom teeth out and 4 others in my life. It just never seems to get any easier and now I'm worried and anxious about so many things I can't sleep! Not to mention i can't eat much cause my jaw just won't open for more than a spoon or straw ?

I just don't know what to do, it's just one thing after another ?

Dear PanicAndPhobia,

so sorry to hear what you are going through right now

Being in pain is hard enough and than even not being able to eat properly and having such an anxiety, that's just so much at once! I admire your courage to visit a place you have never been before and being able to let a dentist look and all of this after having spent ages in the waiting room and going through several panick attacks and crying.. this is really quite an achievement. And also leaving since you didn't feel like you could trust that dentist (by the way this is really scary - a dentist who barely speaks english, having x-rays done while lying in the chair and than being offered an extraction or something unclear that just sounds like a root canal treatment.. I would have passed out)

Glad to hear that you have an anesthesiologist who can put you at ease and knows how to talk to you, that sounds like a good basis. You say during the chat with him you felt ok despite all the scary surroundings and your anxiety kicked in overwhelmingly after you left and have seen the rooms again. I am sure the anesthesiologist will manage to do this again and distract you from all the scary things. After you are done with the procedure, you won't worry that much about the surroundings but very relieved about it being over.

I am sending you some positive thoughts and wish you for this to be over soon. Could you get some medication for at least the night before a procedure?

The biggest help for me in stages of the worst anxiety was writing. You can journal here and let all the scary thoughts out if it is something that works for you. I was journaling several times a day, insanely long posts and let it all out and felt better afterwards so I can only encourage you to do so. And there are no posts that would be too long, this forum and this page is your space to let out all worries, no matter how much of them you have and how long they are and the users here are happy to give you some support.

Keep us updated and all the best for 16th, will be thinking of you.

Hi PanicAndPhobia,

I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and you are not strange or weird in any way. Dental phobia is terrifying and can make you feel like you're facing certain death every moment, however much your rational mind tries to reason with your irrational mind. You are not even close to the only one.

This is definitely the place to babble out your feelings, ask questions, share fears, and get a little support from those of us who have been there.

I wish I could carry some of your anxiety and fear, but the little phobia monster is in your head and so you'll have to try to keep him quiet and get through. But you've been through so much and I'm so proud of you for all you've done so far!

It's probably going to be a very stressful next couple of days, but you'll soon be out of pain and on the road to recovery. I've had a couple teeth pulled (in addition to wisdom teeth) and many more that were painful -- like, kill me now painful-- that my dentist was able to save. But I can tell you that in every case, my mouth and whole body felt so much better after dental surgery. Sometimes all the worry and anxiety got me so wound up that I needed the better part of a day just to relax and come down, but in every case the physical and emotional pain disappeared immediately.

That'll be you in just a couple days.

Please stay strong and know that you will soon feel so much better. And that you are not alone.

Wow thank you so much to you both for all the support, encouragement and reassurance. I appreciate your words so much ?

Yes I usually do get some sort of sedative before I even leave the house for an appointment but this time the anesthesiologist said what I wanted was too strong and if I took it then I would be there for 3-4 hours instead of just 1. He said to just take what i did that day, 1 mg of Ativan. That's not enough for this situation! I understand his reasoning but I also know how hard it is for me to even get into the car to go , let alone the dreaded waiting room again ?

I am nervous about everything to do with that morning. Completely random things, like on the instructions I got it says to wear a short sleeve t-shirt then it says to bring a change of clothes. Why? I don't want to, I'll change when I'm able in my own house . Then the other thing is they called to say to be there for 9:45 am and I would go into the room at 10:15...what are they going to do with me for half an hour?? Am I going to be awake? I can't go through any more tests or watching being hooked up or anything. I feel like I'm spiralling out of control!

Every time I tried to sleep, I woke up with major anxiety. I'm still barely eating cause my jaw is so tight that it has 3/4 locked on one side. My stomach hates me now too and every little symptom or feeling, I get so worried about what's wrong with me now?! Speaking of , I don't know if either of you experienced this before but I've had this happen twice now, where I get the most disgusting taste in my mouth and then these little white and yellow soft bits come out. The pain lessens too so I have no clue. My mom looked in my mouth and saw this little hole looking thing in my cheek by where the tooth is too ?

My parents decided I should go to my own dentist tomorrow and see what he thinks about all this. See what these things are and get his opinion on if the oral surgeon will even be able to do anything since my jaw will not relax at all. I can't yawn or even sneeze without being scared I'm going to break it open.

My other problem is that I get migraines and I have alot of triggers including stress, not eating when I should, you see where I'm going with this...I've had to take my preventative 3 times today cause I felt one coming on. If I get one on that day I'm done for ?

I'm going to try to sleep but I have to be up to take my antibiotics soon at 2 anyways so really what's the point.

I'm just feeling very frustrated and discouraged that this nightmare is never going to end

I can feel your suffering and how overwhelming this all is and also the paralyzing fact that there is not much that can be done at the moment and that words is the only thing that I can give you.. but I want to write you anyway, even if it's just for you to know that your are thought of..

You are not alone. There are so many people out there who thought they would never ever manage to go through that and that had to deal with excruciating pain, physical symptoms of anxiety and a lot of other ones, who thought they would go crazy and wouldn't make it. And I can tell you: they have made it. They came by here after that and their post was always the same: 'I have made it. It was horrible, scary and I thought I wouldn't make it but now it's over'.

Your parents seem to really support you and I am sure sthey will assist you in going through this and look after you well. It won't be easy, but the way out is the way through and honestly, from what you write you went through you seem to be quite a strong person. And you will be surprised what you are capable of.

The idea about asking your dentist today seems to be good to me, especially since it is someone you trust and feel well with. Maybe he can also answer some questions about the procedure for you, even if he doesn't do it himself. If I were you, I would also consider phoning the clinic and ask about all insecurities you have about the procedure, like what will happen during the half an hour at the beginning. Or maybe your mom could call. Do everything you need to get at least a bit control and to get your questions answered. It's normal that you are scared and it's your right to get enough informations beforehand.

You will be fine. Tomorrow it will be over and you will not only have no pain and be able to sleep again but you will be very proud of you.

Hope you get some good and reassuring news from your dentist if you see him today. And tomorrow some lovely caring people around that will try hard to put you at ease and that kind anesthesist who knows how to work with nervous patients and will know how to distract you and make it as comfortable and easy as possible.

Look forward to your success story soon. Till then all the best wishes and good vibrations.

Enarete said:

I can feel your suffering and how overwhelming this all is and also the paralyzing fact that there is not much that can be done at the moment and that words is the only thing that I can give you.. but I want to write you anyway, even if it's just for you to know that your are thought of..

You are not alone. There are so many people out there who thought they would never ever manage to go through that and that had to deal with excruciating pain, physical symptoms of anxiety and a lot of other ones, who thought they would go crazy and wouldn't make it. And I can tell you: they have made it. They came by here after that and their post was always the same: 'I have made it. It was horrible, scary and I thought I wouldn't make it but now it's over'.

Your parents seem to really support you and I am sure sthey will assist you in going through this and look after you well. It won't be easy, but the way out is the way through and honestly, from what you write you went through you seem to be quite a strong person. And you will be surprised what you are capable of.




The idea about asking your dentist today seems to be good to me, especially since it is someone you trust and feel well with. Maybe he can also answer some questions about the procedure for you, even if he doesn't do it himself. If I were you, I would also consider phoning the clinic and ask about all insecurities you have about the procedure, like what will happen during the half an hour at the beginning. Or maybe your mom could call. Do everything you need to get at least a bit control and to get your questions answered. It's normal that you are scared and it's your right to get enough informations beforehand.

You will be fine. Tomorrow it will be over and you will not only have no pain and be able to sleep again but you will be very proud of you.

Hope you get some good and reassuring news from your dentist if you see him today. And tomorrow some lovely caring people around that will try hard to put you at ease and that kind anesthesist who knows how to work with nervous patients and will know how to distract you and make it as comfortable and easy as possible.

Look forward to your success story soon. Till then all the best wishes and good vibrations.

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The change of clothing could possibly be in case of some kind of stain on your clothing. I had a wisdom tooth out years and years ago and was told the same thing and I definitely needed a change of clothing. Anesthetic makes me extremely sick and I was sick all over myself coming out of it. Chances are what they use nowadays won't have that effect on you so I hope I'm not making you panic even more. Good luck..I feel for you because I have probably the world's worst dental phobia thanks to army dentists when I was a kid who pulled/filled teeth with no numbing of any kind and then slapped me when I screamed. Sending you hugs and good thoughts.