New and not so happy!

I've had a strong dislike of dentists ever since I can remember really, it's eased in the past few years. Switched dentists, didn't need any work doing and I had little to worry about.

I have what is called a hypoplastic tooth though, it was filled years and years ago but these past few months I've been in terrible pain with it. It's so sensitive and all this week I've just wanted to cry it's so bad.

I really don't want to ring up and get some sort of emergency appointment, because I'm terrified of what they'd do or that it'd only get worse. I'm terrified of needles, the whole thing freaks me out to the point where I faint, I can't take it. My heart is going so fast even writing this that I can't imagine what it'd be like were I to actually visit the dentist again. I've also been diagnosed as suffering from panic attacks, general anxiety, mild OCD and something else which I'm too ashamed to write about but that could erode my teeth. I've tried nitrous in the past but it just made me feel ill which again adds to the distress.

What should I do? I don't want this to get worse but at the same time how can I find the strength to make that call and then turn up to an appointment?

Hello Natalie and a great big welcome to this site. Reading through your message takes me back to last May when I first discovered this site and felt quite a few of the emotions that you are experiencing. Thankfully I never suffered from actual panic attacks, my whole life of abstaining from dentistry was a panic in itself because I knew that one day the inevitable would happen and that I would have to face my fears. But, you know what, facing a fear head-on can be quite an exhilarating experience and certainly not nearly as bad as how you have been imaginining it would be for so long. When we first find this site and can actually admit to our various phobias, although we still have a long way to go, it is still a great relief and the beginning of a great journey, each step of which will add a little bit more relief until you feel completely unburdened - okay the fear might not go but you will learn to deal with it. Unfortunately along with this fear does automatically come the shame and embarrassment of what we have done to our teeth by not doing anything, but dentists today are more human than they used to seem and are understanding and are used to seeing us phobics who are more common than you probably thought. I used to think I was the only one in the world afraid of dentists and I had that fear for most of my life only going once after childhood when you just had to go regularly, because I was in absolute agony and then waiting another 40 years before vanity took over.
Anyhow, do read through some of the journals, some of the success stories they will inspire and give you support. We do completely understand what you are going through and together we can help you through whatever treatment you will need. The thing is to act, look at the dentist finder to see if there is a recommendation in your area. Even if you are not yet able to pick up the phone and make an appointment, have a look at their website, get a feel for them and perhaps make first contact by email. Those initial steps can be the hardest of all but no matter what needs to be done, it can be completely painless and if you find the right dentist for you, it can be a wonderful partnership and you will come out the other side with wonderful healthy teeth, more confidence in yourself and life really will be better all round. You will get that inner strength to get the ball rolling, we are all so much stronger than we really know and when the going gets tough.....well you know the saying, you saw the film!

Thankyou so much! That was a really useful and very true post. I will take a look through the journals!

I just hate seeming 'difficult' or like I'm trying to be a 'problem'. Most people are less than sympathetic when they find out I suffer from panic attacks and even less so when I have an episode when they're about.

I do have a dentist, not that I have seen him for a very long time. I went once/twice to meet him and he made lots of jokes I assume to put me more at ease but it didn't help to be honest, I did say I'd not had a good relationship with dentists in the past and had avoided having work done because of this.

The website of this practice does specifiy 'nervous patients welcome' and that sedation is available. But I'm too terrified of needles and blood and anything getting close to veins that I couldn't opt for that.

I'm trying to pluck up the courage to call tomorrow but I guess I'll end up putting it off again as usual. But I'm taking so many painkillers for the toothache that I can't go on like this for much longer.

From my own experience with my fear, I noticed that it became easy to make up reasons and excuses not to go or for how it just wouldn't work for me. Really, I was just allowing myself to put off the inevidible. Eventually, it got to the point where it was worse not to face my fear than it was to confront it. I'm only in the baby stages right now but I can tell you, it is a triumphant feeling when you face something like that head on. I feel stronger as a person. You can do it. Then, it'll be over and you won't have to worry anymore.

ScaredStiff makes an excellent point. I just wanted to add a couple of things.

Fear of needles is not at all uncommon. I don't know of too many people who actually enjoy them. I think one of the reasons for that may be due to the fact that our earliest introduction to needles as children was often for one of those painful booster shots that left us tender and aching for days after. Whatever the reason for your fear, though, I can tell you that the needles you get at the dentist's office are really not that bad. In fact, when it comes to the numbing shots, many people say they don't feel anything at all. Even if you do feel any of the needles, like SS said, it's really just a pinch or pinprick. It lasts less than a second and then you really don't feel anything. If you've ever stubbed your toe, hit your funny bone, or given yourself a paper cut, you've experienced much worse. You can do it.

As I've said in other posts, I had thought that the only way I'd ever get through a visit to the dentist would be if I was heavily sedated. Then, I found out that my dentist doesn't offer chemical sedation of any sort. However, she has music, lavender-filled neck pillows, stress balls, and other more "natural" stress management aids that help a lot. I was a amazed to find that I really didn't need the sedation after all. You may surprise yourself and find that you don't actually need to be unconscious for the visit. If the thought of being sedated is part of what is making you anxious, you may well be able to get on quite well without it. You may well be able to do without that added stress. However, if you think that your anxiety may get the best of you, you may also want to talk with your dentist or doctor to see if they can prescribe something to help you relax. I'm sure that between all of you, you, your doctor, and your dentist will be able to figure out a plan that works for you. Perhaps anti-anxiety medication and some of the relaxation aids I've mentioned will be all that you need to keep your anxiety at bay.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Maybe my story will help you a bit. I hadn't seen a dentist in over 20 years until a few weeks ago. Obviously I need some major work! I'm like you. Years ago, nitrous made me very nauseous. The thought of getting an IV completely freaked me out and there was no way I was getting one voluntarily! I was thinking about trying oral sedation, but even that freaked me out. I was afraid of what it might do to me. The thought of having a needle in my gums REALLY troubled me because of what I went through as a kid. So...I was pretty much screwed! Well, I discussed all of this with the dentist who assured me that the only reason I got nauseous from the nitrous was because someone gave me too much. He then assured me that I would not feel the needle going into the gum because they use a numbing gel first. I was VERY hesitant, but I did get nitrous for my first appointment during my cleaning. Let's just say I was VERY pleasantly surprised. I felt great and didn't feel ill at all. Today was the day that I needed to get nitrous and injections in the gums. Gulp. Guess what? They put numbing gel on my gums and waited a bit before they injected me. I swear to you I didn't feel a thing. Nothing, and I got a bunch of shots. I guarantee you that you'll do great! Maybe taking a valium or xanax prior to your appointment would be beneficial. Top that off with nitrous and you'll be very happy
Peace,
Susan

Unfortunately my dentist doesn't offer nitrous at his practice, if I wanted it I'd have to get a referral to another nearby practice with student dentists. Nothing against them, we all have to learn somehow, but I'd rather be in the hands of someone who was a little more experienced, especially whilst already feeling quite apprehensive.

Anyway I didn't have to nerve to ring up and book at appointment myself, so I got a friend to do it for me. *shudder* Tuesday at 11.25am... The worst part of it for me is just the not knowing what they will say or what will happen or what treatment they will want to do. I'm just freaking myself out though that its going to be needles and I'll work myself up and then panic. I think the fear comes from the fact that when I was much younger I had an anaphylactic shock reaction to I think it was a TB injection, turned blue, stopped breathing and it was so frightening that everytime I know a needle is going to come near me I get memories of just lulling in and out of conciousness. That's why I'll never get an IV for any sort of sedation.

I don't know if I can do much about any anxiety medication before Tuesday. I think Tuesday will just be more of a consultation though than getting any work done. I was referred to a team of counsellers about my increased anxiety and panic attacks about a month back but obviously no appointments have been set up yet.

Thankyou SO much though everyone for your kind and supportive words though. Hopefully I can calm my fears over the coming weeks and months and go forward and get my problem tooth sorted. I guess this is the first step onto the long road ahead.

I promise you that the fear of the unknown is SOOOOOOO much worse than ANYTHING they are going to tell you. Seriously. It's worse than any of the treatments I've had so far, and it's worse than the fear/worry I have about of my next appointment by a longshot. Before I made my first appointment I would think about my teeth constantly. It was horrible, it would keep me awake at night, and it just made me feel like crap. I've treated my own abcessed teeth out of complete gripping fear of going to the dentist. I can honestly say it was something that I dreaded more than anything. Well, in my opinion, that's worse than anything the dentist will be telling you. I can also tell you exactly what they'll want to do during your appointment. The first thing they'll need is x-rays. Painless, but I gagged. So do 90% of people. Next they'll clean your teeth. If you're concerned about it hurting, they'll numb your mouth and you won't feel that either. They have numbing gel for your gums which numbs them before they numb them! The cleaning will probably take about 30 minutes or so and it doesn't hurt at all. The dentist will examine your teeth and check out your gums. That's it. If that's too much for you, let them know and they'll do ONLY what YOU want. YOU are in control! I'm so glad you have an appointment, and now you need to concentrate on how fabulous you're going to feel when it's over
Peace,
Susan

Okira said:

Next they'll clean your teeth. If you're concerned about it hurting, they'll numb your mouth and you won't feel that either. They have numbing gel for your gums which numbs them before they numb them! The cleaning will probably take about 30 minutes or so and it doesn't hurt at all.

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There are also gels which just numb the gums without using any local anaesthesia delivered through a syringe. Often people are comfortable without anaesthesia for cleaning so long as the person doing it is very gentle.

I don't think they will need to be cleaned, to be honest people always ask me if I professionally whiten my teeth etc (which I obviously don't!) because they don't look discoloured at all. I've never had any problems apart from this hypoplastic tooth and the only reason I'm going now is because it's causing me great pain. Luckily I've been able to avoid treatment for a very long time but I'm fearing right now I just can't.

That's what I'm concerned about because it was filled years and years ago and is now only 10% tooth, 90% filling and so I don't think it's going to as simple as re-doing the filling and I'm very very very nervous, because I'm fearing the worst. Hopefully it will be as painless as possible though. I got some books from my counsellor in the mail today on panic attacks etc so I may read through those over the weekend to try and prepare a little more.

I thought it better to bump this rather than make a new topic. I apologise for my absense - been busy with work.

So Tuesday I finally managed to pluck up the courage to getting the work done. They just decided to replace the filling and remove the decay under it, as it was leaking. The needles weren't too bad I must admit, the first I didn't feel so much and the second was slightly more painful. I was shaking like a leaf though the entire time. The dentist didn't think he got all the decay out though as it was still really sore when he was scraping it out.

Now I'm having loads of problems. As soon as a left the surgery it didn't feel 'right'. It was throbbing and the anaesthetic wore off so fast which didn't help. I got home, took a lot of painkillers and went to sleep. Today has been the same, pain under jaw, side of face swollen, pain in tooth, shoots up to my ear and down my neck - had paracetamol, codeine and ibuprofen and it's still excruitating. I really wish I hadn't gone! I haven't eaten since Monday or slept either. Is this normal? It sure doesn't feel it but I don't want to be making something out of nothing?

I went to see my mum who made me another emergency appointment tomorrow morning. Honestly I can't face it though, I don't want to be in anymore pain and I don't want them to be mad at me for going back to quick...

Hi Natalie.

Oh dear, you have been in the wars haven't you? Well done for persevering and getting to your appointment though. If you are in that much pain after having your treatment a matter of days ago, you're absolutely right and justified in going back to get it looked at again, so don't worry about what they might or might not think. If you didn't go back and just put up with it and then went back in a week, they would probably say, 'why didn't you come back sooner?'. What's important is that you shouldn't be in as much pain as you are days after the treatment.

Chin up - you will get there.

Good luck tomorrow - we will be thinking about you.

NatalieMT said:

I went to see my mum who made me another emergency appointment tomorrow morning. Honestly I can't face it though, I don't want to be in anymore pain and I don't want them to be mad at me for going back to quick...

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As completely said above, they should NOT be upset with you for going back so quick. You have every right to be pain-free right now, and you aren't. They need to help get you thru that...

My story -- I had an extraction in October, without a stitch (I'd wanted one, she felt it wasn't necessary... okaaaaaay - NOT a good thing to do with a phobic and someone who obsesses over healing, you know??).. So,, for a week after I'm terrified that it's not healing properly, it hurts every once in a while, I'm completely imagining these horrid things happening to the extraction site.. *AND* I work in the same office building.. I had NO compunctions whatsoever about going up and making a followup appointment so *I* would be assured all was well with healing. Yes, it turned out I was healing properly, yes I was doing everything right = but in NO way was I (nor should you be) embarrassed about going back in..

Thankyou both! My dentist is a really lovely guy, very reassuring but it's my mind working overtime that makes me think people will be mad at me or not like me for whatever reason. I think it's paranoia. My mum did say on the phone the people she spoke with at the surgery sounded sympathetic so that's one plus point. I hate making phonecalls - I just can't talk on the phone, that's why I always have to have other people ring.

It's good to know you agree I shouldn't be in this pain and that it's justified for me to return. That puts my mind slightly more at ease. I'm still freaking out though because I'm fearing the outcome of tomorrow won't be positive and will involve more lengthy treatment. I guess I've got to try and put a brave face on though and get through it the best I can - however hard that might be.

i'm quite a few hours behind you (it's only 730am when I post this) .. I'm thinking you have been and gone already from the dentist?? If not, sending goodvibes; if you are on your way in, same thing...

I did go in the end, I had no choice really. Thankyou for thinking of me and sending positive vibes.

I turns out the tooth is infected and the nerve is dying. So apparently the best option is RCT. Which I'm not looking forward to... Has anyone else had one, what was the experience like? It's not until April 17th (plenty of time to stress!) and it's an 80 minute appointment. Eeek! Just 5 minutes is terrifying enough.

In a way though I'm glad it's finally going to be sorted.

I have a 20+ year old root canal.
It was, by far, the easiest procedure I've EVER had done. == and as I understand it, they've only gotten easier as technology has improved in the last 20 years

all under just a local, with a minimal dose of valium to calm my nerves, not really put me under...

The only "hard" part was keeping my mouth open for the lenght of time it took to complete - your jaw gets sore after so long.

They put a "dental dam" to isolate the tooth being worked on - it keeps anything and everything from going into your mouth. It helps, but it can be annoying.. Nothing wierd to panic over tho..

Someone (I can't remember his username tho) posted about his root canal both here on the support boards, as well as on "questions for dentists".... Look for his posts - he had his done within this last month, and he's really encouraging.

I'll try to find/remember his name for you too

Here we go ==


Jimmy-scared = he flew thru his root canal

Sorry for not being online for so long, I've been pretty ill. Unfortunately my root canal couldn't really have gone any worse.

Injections hurt, root canal hurt and never got completed due to the distal root being full of pus. Still extremely extremely painful - I'm taking dihydrocodeine (high dose!), paracetamol and ibuprofen round the clock. Here's the worst thing though I've got paraesthesia in the tip of my tongue, right side of my tongue and right inner gum. It's such a horrible feeling, I just feel like crying because it's been like this since April 17th now.

I was meant to have the 2nd appointment on May 22nd but the dentists cancelled on me so now I have another appointment June 10th. Seriously though I'm so done with this - I'm really angry about all the stuff that's happened and the fact it's still numb just adds to my frustration. I know it's important to get this sorted but right now I have zero faith in dentists and wish to never return to one.