I feel so helpless

Hello

I really can sympathize with you, I suffered from agoraphobia off an on for years, sometimes I couldnt make it past the front garden so I can really understand how difficult it is for you to even consider getting to a dentist.

Are you in England? If so you can try an find a local NHS dentist, the costs are not that bad on the NHS. In the meantime do you try to keep your teeth clean as best as possible, floss etc?

I really hope you can sort something out regarding your problems, can you try an make it to the doctors (or have a doctor come to you) so that you can be referred to someone who can help you with your other issues?

Topcat said:

Hello

I really can sympathize with you, I suffered from agoraphobia off an on for years, sometimes I couldnt make it past the front garden so I can really understand how difficult it is for you to even consider getting to a dentist.

Are you in England? If so you can try an find a local NHS dentist, the costs are not that bad on the NHS. In the meantime do you try to keep your teeth clean as best as possible, floss etc?

I really hope you can sort something out regarding your problems, can you try an make it to the doctors (or have a doctor come to you) so that you can be referred to someone who can help you with your other issues?

Click to expand...

Yes I live in England. I do try to keep good care of my teeth, but it's really just a case of stoping the rot, as it were, and trying not to let them get any worse. But I don't think there's much I can do to help some of my teeth anymore.

Hi PerfectlyFlawed, I actually remember you from your last visit here!

You say your goal was to do something within a year. To be honest, I think that's a little bit a silly idea. Every day there is a reason not to do anything, and a year is such a long time that you never have to do against your feelings, you can keep waiting for the right moment forever. And you may never find the right moment. So... why not today or tomorrow? Tell your mum you'd like to see a dentist - she's already seen your teeth so she knows you need it. She'll be very happy when you tell. Then you can think together how to do it.

Hope you didn't understand wrong, I just thought what might be best for you.

Matthew, there's loads of really good advice here for you and the only thing I can add to it is that, as a mum myself, I know how much I love my children (they're similar ages to you) and I know that I would not only do anything I could to help them but I would love to have the chance to do it. I'm sure your parents would really jump at the chance to help if you can just find a way to let them know.

Cost need not be an issue in UK ....your parents could probably access NHS CDS care for you as outlined before. I'm sure there is NHS help you could access in other areas too..there's not much more I can say really..feel free to drop by to vent but alas you have to make the move to change the situation..all we can do is point you in the right direction and encourage you. It doesn't seem right to me that you have never seen your GP..it is 100% free to see your GP in UK. Good luck

Hi PerfectlyFlawed and back,

as Brit has said, the CDS may be able to help you. There is more information on how to get in touch with the Community Dental Services here: https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/fears/special-needs/

As long as such a service is offered in your area (for non-disabled adults), I feel that you would definitely qualify.

You mentioned some time ago that you don't have a GP - has this changed in the meantime? I'm asking because they may be able to get you some help with the other issues you mentioned.

You could also try contacting / e-mailing MIND in your area (https://www.mind.org.uk/). They may be able to provide you with support and ideas

I really have no idea about GP's and stuff like that. At the moment I kinda live in my own little bubble. I think we have a family GP, but I've never went to see him/her, I can't even remember the last time I went to the doctors...

You only need to know the practice at which you're registered, and can get someone to ring up for you if that's easier, and see what help your GP can get for you?

My son had all his work done on the NHS and has this expensive looking film star smile now (none of my other kids' teeth look so good!) and he started out with the autism, a few phobias etc, and not great hygiene (he also ahs a muscle problem which makes having the strength in his wrists to do stuff like teeth cleaning, hard!) None of it cost a penny. Although not agoraphobic, he was very frightened of new people, going into strange places, and having all this stuff 'done' to him (none of which, in the end, was painful at all. I know as I stayed with him throughout!) And he has grown in confidence so much.

For those here who think, just by reading your words online, that you 'don't come across as having Asperger's', I should say the vast majority of folk at the Asperger's end of the autistic spectrum, present as 'normal' - and could not be diagnosed over an internet forum. Autistic people do not fit the Rainman stereotype - most of them nowhere near. My son is sociable - esp with his newfound confidence - has many friends and does many activities - but he can't read the cues in people's body language/facial expressions. It's a very subtle thing. If you met him and chatted with him for half an hour you may think there was nothing 'wrong' with him. You'd be wrong! Forums in particular, are great places for those of the milder end of the autistic spectrum as they can be open and talk to people under the cover of the anonymity of this.

I think whether you have AS or not you can cyncially USE it or use the possibility of it, to your advantage here. Use it to get the help you need. See your GP and ask them to refer you to the relevant place so you can start to get a grip on this, before it gets a grip on you. You're tougher than you think. You can do this!

Hi again
I'm concerned that you are still in the same situation so many months down the line. If your parents are not able to get you the help which you need (and which will be free in the UK) maybe you could contact the Samaritans to chat all your issues through - they even offer their service by email if you prefer. I think they would be able to help get you access to various medical and dental services if that's what you want. https://www.samaritans.org/
Hope this helps
Brit

No I don't think Samaritans is for me.

What's gonna happen to my teeth if I can't force myself to go to the dentist for the next few years?

I've always had a sweet tooth, and there are a lot of confectionery foods around my house, but I feel like I've cut down on the sweets in the last couple of years. Also I brush my teeth usually three times throughout the day, have done since I recognised how bad of a condition my teeth were in all those years ago, but unfortunately it seems to just be damage control. I so rarely floss, and quite a few of my teeth are connected from tartar so I can't floss them. I can feel under the gum on the back of a lot of my lower teeth, from some of the things I've read from this site, I think it's peridontal disease =[ I know things won't get better, but how bad can things get?

I've got so many other problems in my life this just feels like over kill. In a lot of ways some of my problems are connected to my teeth. But I feel so far away from getting my teeth fixed, at this point I'm really struggling even being able to imagine myself confronting this. Just imagining the flood of activity me bringing this up to my mum would cause, makes me feel depressed and sick in my stomuch.

I'm trying to not let myself just forget about it and put it to the back of my mind, because that seems to be my natural reaction, but it really makes me depressed.

Hi there,

I just wanted to say that I strongly agree with poodloo that you should use the Aspergers angle whether or not you clinically have a firm diagnosis. I completely understand not wanting or agreeing with a label. It may be that you don't have Aspergers but right now the previous diagnosis will benefit you financially and in terms of support services. This will eliminate at least one fear...that of being a financial burden on your family. You may also find you have access to a therapist who can help you overcome your fear and get you to an appointment.

As an aside about Aspergers, it is not a disibility the way people might assume. I remember a post where you said something to the effect of "I'm not retarded or anything". I work with many children and teens with Aspergers and many times it can be a gift rather than a disability. Everyone I know with the diagnosis are of average to above average intelligence and generally very verbally gifted. The only thing that might cue someone to their diagnosis would be challenges with social cues and a certain rigidity of thinking at times. That used to be called eccentric... with stubborn tendencies. Where would the world be without Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton or even Bill Gates, all of whom are believed to have Aspergers. Not to mention all those talented and eccentric artists throughout time, many of whom would probably have a diagnosis were they living today.