• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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New Here and Scared to Death

S

Shana Rider

Junior member
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
1
Hello to everyone; I'm really in need of some support and advice, so thank you in advance. Sorry (also in advance) if this post runs long...

I haven't been to a dentist in at least four years; the last time I went was to have braces removed. Now I have wisdom teeth coming in and for the first time I'm in pain because of it. I've been up all night because of it. After taking aspirin, I managed to sleep for about two hours before the pain woke me up (so blame any weird things in this post on sleep deprivation, lol). It has now occurred to me that I might need to go to the dentist and I'm horrified!!!

Just the thought of having to go to the dentist has me in tears. I've never had good experiences with dentists, and by good I mean good enough that I'm able to look back and say "that wasn't so bad." Now, my reasons for fear:
I've never had good dental hygiene. To call my habits "poor" would be quite generous, in fact. My teeth are badly stained from when I had braces and didn't brush my teeth properly. I was suffering from severe depression at the time (though I didn't understand that then) and it was difficult to get out of bed, shower, or to remember to eat, much less to brush me teeth like I should have. If it were just a physical appearance issue I'm sure I could swallow my pride, but...

I still have a thin wire in my mouth from after braces. I avoided going back after the actual braces were removed. It's behind my lower teeth to keep them straight. I never even notice it anymore, but I'm still embarrassed to death about it still being there.

And of course, my poor habits have led to cavities, and I'm afraid of going because of that... I have two (once on each side) that have for all purposes destroyed the tooth. They're not painful, but still. And I know I'm developing smaller ones because of the excruciating pain when I do try to brush my teeth.

Anyway, those are the reasons I'm really worried about possibly going to the dentist. I know that these problems (aside from the wisdom tooth) are my own fault, and I really don't look forward to being scolded about them or anything. I've never complained before because I know I'm responsible. Previous dentist visits include the pleasantries of oral surgery, four teeth pulled at once for braces, gagging/throwing up when I was having molds of my teeth taken, and being talked about by the dentists as though I wasn't able to hear them about the sad state of my teeth.

So... yeah. Support for a terrified teen would be greatly appreciated. :cry:
 
:welcome: Shana Rider!

I'm an ex-phobic teen... 18 years and I've been an ex-phobic for... three days! I'm a little different from you because I have fantastic teeth and no previous bad experiences, but my wisdom teeth, or actually one of them, started to cause problems (not as bad as yours though) and I had to face the idea that a dentist would actually DO something to me. Now I have two wisdom teeth removed by an oral surgeon, and that really wasn't bad AT ALL!!! And I seriously mean it. So it's at least possible to get rid of your wisdom teeth without almost any pain. I suppose that all wisdom teeth causing problems will be removed... But I suggest you read my success story.

Try to find a nice dentist. Try to do it soon. You won't became any less scared when days go by and you're in pain. I think you'll get an appointment pretty soon because of your problems. If you are worried that the dentist would say bad things about the state of your teeth, you could explain (at the appointment or before by phone or email) that it's caused by your depression. The dentist will probably understand that. Talk about your gagging problem, too.

Start looking for the right dentist NOW. There are many good recommendations on this forum, maybe you live near someone of them. If not, see yellow pages and the internet. Call tomorrow. Get started! And most important, read a lot of dentalfearcentral.org. There are articles about embarrasment and gagging, for example.

:hug2: Good luck! You are being really sensible now, that's the first step to get out of your fear, :jump: for that!
 
It sounds like all you need is a little push in the right direction towards a kind and caring dentist. You'll be surprised how having a dentist who doesn't judge you and makes you feel like a friend will change your attitude towards getting your teeth fixed.

When I was a youngin (many many years ago!) I refused to go to the dentist too. Eventually, my mother found a new dentist who I loved and I went for many weeks to fix my my 17 cavities. Had she not done that, I probably would have lost my teeth by now.

The important thing is this...you are young, and you can save your teeth! There are many less fortunate persons on this list who waited years and years and had to face multiple extractions and/or dentures. Honestly, you can face it now or you can face it later, but most people here will tell you that eventually your teeth will rule your world and you will be forced to get something done because extreme PAIN is quite the motivator.

As for wisdom teeth, if they do indeed need to come out, now is the time to do it. Your roots are not fully developed and the healing time is much quicker. If you wait until you are older, complications with nerve involvement, sinus cavities and the the simple act of healing will be things you'll have to worry about.

Again, I can't stress enough that these things will not go away and get better. You are young, your decay is most likely small, and the time to act is now. You can do it!!! Ask your friends who they see and if they'd recommend them. Lastly, I'd recommend possibly going to a woman dentist. We women just naturally have that nurturing thing going on and it might be all you need to start your journey towards a healthy mouth.

Good luck!
 
Lastly, I'd recommend possibly going to a woman dentist. We women just naturally have that nurturing thing going on and it might be all you need to start your journey towards a healthy mouth.
Good luck!

Choosing the right dentist for you is the easiest way to solve this and as the others have said...the sooner the better as it will only get worse.
Only you can decide whether for you personally a female dentist is likely to be the best choice...there are many many kind male dentists out there and I really wouldn't say from my experience that the women who choose dentistry as a profession have any monopoly on nurturing or gentleness (although I can see why people might think they would)....but in truth, you can't generalise either way....I've come across good and bad in both sexes.

If you need some work done on your wisdom teeth then maybe look for a dentist with sedation options just for that bit.
We usually recommend going along for 'just a chat' for your first appointment so you can ask all your questions and explain what you need them to do to be able to go through with it....e.g. not make any negative remarks about oral hygiene...remember maybe unlike when you were a child, you are the customer here and to some extent 'he who pays the piper calls the tune'
If you don't like the dentist when you first meet them, then you don't have to go back,you can try another..it may cost more but if it finds you a permanent dentist you like, it is well worth it.
Try asking your friends for recommendations but pay attention to what they say 'just ok' is not good enough for you; and ask what procedures they have actually had and whether it was all painless...you should be looking for a dentist who can keep you comfortable at all times as it just makes the whole thing easier that way.
You can do it :grouphug:
 
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I totally agree with Brit about asking your friends what procedures they've had done. When I was looking for a new dentist, so many of my friends loved their dentist...however, they barely had a cavity done, so how could they truly rate their dentist???? Then I had a recommendation from 2 people for the same dentist, and both had had tons of work done...so I figured he was it! Wrong! He had a horrible personality, was extremely hyper and made me feel like I was 10 years old. I finally found my current dentist and she is wonderful.

So search, search, search until you find the right dentist for you. It will be so worth it!!
 

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