• Dental Phobia Support

    Welcome! This is an online support group for anyone who is has a severe fear of the dentist or dental treatment. Please note that this is NOT a general dental problems or health anxiety forum! You can find a list of them here.

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So, people understand this?

J

Juggler

Junior member
Joined
May 25, 2008
Messages
1
I've never had anybody understand why it is that I can't go to a dentist.

I'm 19, I haven't been since I was 11... I think.

I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), among other things such as panic and depression. At the peak of my depression, I didn't care too much about dental and other health, so it all has suffered. I have several cavities, one has grown very large and the tooth is broken. There is a constant dull pain, and my gums bleed now when I brush my teeth. Not a lot, but, they do.

I'm so afraid of going to the dentist... tears in my eyes as I write this. I know I need to go. I have a dull constant pain in one of my teeth. I'm so afraid of being judged or misunderstood. It sounds ridiculous, I know. My insurance doesn't cover sedation dentistry, and I can't afford ANYTHING out of pocket. Nitrous oxide doesn't work that welll for me.

So what do you think... do my teeth sound horrible? What would the treatment be like? I'm freaking terrified, I don't know what to do. I'd rather live with the pain than go to a dentist, but I know it will only get worse from here. I feel ridiculous. The SAD has affected me in other ways, as well... can't answer phones, go outside sometimes, it sucks. Living in fear all the time.

I don't know what to do...

So, people understand this? I'm not crazy?
 
Crazy? Definitely not. But you know yourself you have mental problems...

I understand at least a lot of your feelings. You have taken a big step by writing here. And it's good you do it now and not 20 years later. Depression is a good reason for not taking care of your teeth, no good dentist will be angry or anything.

You may already have some kind of anxiety medicines at home, because of your other problems. That will help a lot. If you don't, it isn't that expensive. I bought 10 tablets of Valium 5mg, it cost less than 10€. Not bad, you can probably afford that.

You know you need to go. So you can do it! On this forum I've never read that anyone wouldn't have been able to go. If you see a therapist or somet´hing like that for your SAD, talk with him/her about this as well. If not, tomorrow (monday) make the call or ask someone (parents? you are so young) to call the dentist. You won't be any braver next week. Do it. You will soon be so, so proud of yourself.

My dental fear has probably never been as bad as yours, but overcoming a fear is always the same, whether calling the dentist or going to treatment is when the problems begin. So I can say: Been there, done that. I feel so great now when I've overcome my fear.

I suppose you have read the articles at dentalfearcentral.org, especially the one about fear of embarrasment. Good luck!
 
I totally understand. I have gad and panic disorder so I know how that is too. I'm 36 and am finally trying to get some serious dental work done. Wish I hadn't let it go on so long because now I am losing teeth that could have been filled before. I'll be getting a partial on top eventually. Your teeth may not be as bad as you think and you will be able to prevent any more damage if you go soon and start getting things taken care of.

Your first step is making an appt. The first appt is just xrays and a check up. The Dentist will just go over your films and talk with you about what choices you have. It's a big step I know but I think you can do it. Then you will get a true idea of what options you have for treatment. You can take all your appointments slow if you need to and just go one thing at a time or you can work on more things to get it all done faster, it's up to you.

As far as your sad goes are you in therapy for it now? It's a good idea. I think you need to focus on baby steps and you can regain some things back that you feel safe doing. Do you have a safe person who goes places with you? I think it is possible ot really see some improvement with baby steps and exposure. I'd share some of my story but prob not the right place. I do think that we can do far more than we give ourselves credit for and we can truly make ourselves proud and feel amazement that we can still do things.
 
Hello there and welcome to this site. If you are crazy, then there are a few thousand others of us also crazy. But of course you're not. I too lived with dental fear for years, and years, and even more years and until I found this site didn't realise that there were other people in the same boat. I had always thought I was the only one scared of the dentist, having to flee the room if anyone mentioned the word dentist or tooth, or if as seems every second now, there was a toothpaste ad on TV. I can't comment on your SAD problems as I have no experience of it but with dental, been there, done it and come out the other side.

Don't want to sound patronising at all, but being much older than you I probably will. However, you are young and despite the number of years that you have not been to the dentist I doubt whether anything really drastic has happened to your teeth and I am sure that any treatment will be minimal.

The first thing is to find a dentist. This might at the moment sound like the impossible to you but, even if you can't talk to anyone about your fears and so many of us have been like that, having found what a relief this board is and to be able to open up about our fears. Anyhow, have a look at our dentist finder section (link at top of page) to see if there are any recommended dentists in your areas. There are so many dentists who are compassionate, caring and really do understand our phobias and finding the right one for you is the first step (or rather the second because you have taken that first step in coming here). If you cannot get to the stage of ringing a dentist, try looking at websites, using email. Don't be afraid to reveal the whole truth of your feelings, of your medical history, unless a dentist knows how you feel he won't be best placed to help you. Don't pretend to be brave. Don't be ashamed about crying or shaking and showing your fear. That first appointment can be a get to know your dentist meeting where nothing will be done, just a chat to get to know each other, building up your confidence in him (or her) taking it at your pace and only examining your teeth when you feel ready. You can be in control at all times. At my first appointment we were talking for about half an hour before I would even move over to the dentist chair and then I insisted that no instruments be visible or used and let the dentist only look, not touch.
I could go on for ever but won't. The important thing is to get you to that second stage of finding a dentist, so do look at the dentist finder. If none there, let us know your general location and perhaps someone can recommend a dentist to you. By posting here you will get loads of replies and support which will make you stronger and help you. I know I personally could not have gone through all my treatment without the wonderful help of people on this site who really knew what I was experiencing. :grouphug:
 
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