My story.

Hey, I'm so glad that I have found this amazing page. Well, I thought that I would start of by telling my story. So here it is:
I'm only 16 years old, and already a huge phobia.
It started then I was about 8 years old. I haven’t had big problems going to the dentist before, I of course didn’t like the situation but it went okay, and usually my parents gave my a new teddy bear or something afterwards. But one day, my dentist discovered a hole in one of my teeth. She said that she could fix it straight away. I was so scared. She said that she had this gel so it wouldn’t hurt then she stacked with the needle. She asked if I wanted to have this gel with raspberry or peppermint flavour. I was so scared and I couldn’t say anything. So my dentist said that if I didn’t wanted to say which flavour I would prefer, we would just do it without the gel thing. So she took the needle and hold it op In front of me, and squirted some of the fluid out (like you see it in movies and so). I didn’t wanted to open my mouth so she forced it to open, and gave me the shot and I remember that It hurted a lot and was very unpleasant. The rest went fine and the hole was fixed. But I was so shocked afterwards and I didn’t even get a teddy bear. I was now so afraid of going to the dentist that a started to cry every time.

As I got older, my teeth got more and more crooked and I needed braces. A thing that wouldn’t be a problem for most people.
The “bracedentist” (or what you call it), wanted to do every thing real fast, and she didn’t took her time to each patient. She often used to run backwards and forwards between to patients.
I couldn’t managed all the things that was going on, and I was in a period there every thing had to go really slow, my life was in the middle of a big change. I had just broke my arm, and in those three or four weeks my arm was in plaster, I didn’t go so much to school because I had a lot of pain. But in those four weeks, it was like all my friends went from kids to teenagers. And I wasn’t a part of that, and as the days went by, I was more and more left out. So I had to find new friends, and settle down again. It was a hard time, and I spend many nights crying. A girl from my school started to call me “The shark teeth girl”, which was pretty hard to manage. And one day my teacher found a piece of paper, I can’t remember what was written on the paper only that it one place said “The shark teeth girl” (my name). Well, my teacher just wanted to know how I felt about it, and if it was something I wanted to talk about. She was a really good teacher and I trusted her very much, so I told her how I felt, and that I was really scared of dentists and so on. (I think she is the only person who knows all this) then we were done talking, she asked if I wanted her to call my parents and tell them about it. I maked it really clear to her, that she shouldn’t do that, and that I would tell them, then I was ready. But it wasn’t clear enough, short after I found out that she had called my parents and told them everything I had told her.

I had reached a point were a didn’t trusted anyone before a knew them very well. And soon after, did my “bracedentist” give up with me.
I still came at my “normal dentist” but it was hard and I cried every night from the day that we received a card with the date for the next visit until the very day. I was usually really tired then the day for my dental visit came, because I had spend so man nights crying. I would wake up with a heart beating real fast, shaking legs, and at the time I arrived to the dentist, I would totally shut down. Unable to talk or move.

Well, one day for at least three years ago I went to my dentist or my dad forced me to go there. I don’t know how, but she managed to get a look at my teeth, and she discovered a new hole. I started to cry, I would rather die, than have her to fix it. So my dentist thought that it would be best if she gave me a reference to another dentist, who should be more able to handle people with dental fear. My first impression of my new dentist was what she was a good and sweet dentist. But her assistant was pretty much a bitch. And after only one visit, the dentist gave me a reference to a new one. One that should be even better handling people with dental fear.


So I went to this new dentist, and the first visit was only going to be talk, no examination or anything. My dad was waiting out side as he used to do. The dentist started talking, I can’t remember what she said, I don’t really think that I noticed that she said, it was like then things just goes in one ear and out the other. The only thing I can remember was that she said, that next time I came there we needed to make that hole I had…And I could cry or fight as much as I would, she would just find someone who could help holding me down in the chair, so that she could fix the hole. Because as she said, “then the hole is fixed it will be much easier to come here. And you will need to come here often at least once a month”

That was more than I could handle, so I ran out crying. Because I just wanted to get away from that psycho. Well I ran until I couldn’t anymore. And then I stopped I realized that I didn’t had a clue about where I was. My dad tried to call me on my mobile phone but I didn’t wanted to answer. He went out looking for me, but I was hiding in a bush. The I couldn’t hear or see him anymore I took it that he had gone home.
So there I was, I didn’t knew where I was and I didn’t have any money, so I couldn’t take a train home. I found out I which direction a should walk and I started walking.
When a got home I locked me inside my room for two weeks, I only went out to go to the bath room, find some food or go to school. I spend a lot of time crying and thinking of committing suicide. But my sweet little cat kept me from doing it, because I kept thinking of what would happen to him if I was not there. He also spend a lot of time lying next to me then I was crying, so how could I leave him? ( I’m still alive, and I don’t have thoughts of committing suicide anymore)

But that was the last time I went to a dentist.

And how is my teeth today? Well I have four front teeth, like in a double row. And they are not baby teeth but my grown up teeth (or what you call it). The second row of front teeth goes longer down than my front, front teeth, so they are someone you see. And the rest of my teeth are really crooked too.
I have a big hole in one of my teeth, which has started to hurt sometimes. And I have at least to smaller holes.

I glad that I have found this page. And I glad that I now have written my hole story down. It was good to come out with everything. Now the whole world have the opportunity to read my story (or at least every one with internet).

And I’m now taking the first step in the right direction.

(Sorry if there are a lot of spelling or grammar mistakes. My English teachers have been a bit like my dentist I have never had I good one , so all my English is pretty much self learned)

Hello a warm

Your English is fantastic...it's better than mine and its the language I speak.

I am so sorry to hear about your negetive past experiences....but by posting here you have allready taken a huge step.
There are so many dentist who really ubderstand Dental Phobia and do evevrything they can to make you feel better....and do things pain free.

After 12 years of not going to the dentist I had 14 teeth pulled and felt no pain.
Finding a caring dentist makes all the difference.

Try looking at the dentist recommendations to see if there is a dentist in your area.

Keep looking until you find one who you like.
Also you can make the first appointment to just be a consultation.

Try not to worry you can do this and we will walk you through this.
Your in the right place.

Hi moonlight ,

great to hear you've taken the first step!! I think one of the keys of overcoming this fear is communication - unless your dentist knows what you're afraid of, it will make their job quite hard. A lot of dentists have told me that the most frustrating thing when trying to help a person is when they don't say anything and they're left guessing how they might be able to help!

If you can figure out what might help you and how a dentist might be able to help you, that would be a great step forward! Many people find that they are unable to voice their fears directly, because they are struck with fear and can't talk. If this is the case for you, then writing down the things you fear and how a dentist might be able to help you overcome them is always a great idea. Some dentists may even be able to engage in an e-mail conversation before you meet them for the first time.

Now that you are reaching your adult years, it may get easier for you to approach dentists on an equal footing. Your dentist should be a partner in your care, working with you to achieve your goals.

Wishing you all the best and thanks for sharing your story

A big welcome moonlight to this site and well done on making the first step in opening up to us who are, after all, for the moment anyway just a bunch of strangers. But...in opening up you are in an elite group of dental phobics who fully understand you and what you are feeling like. It seems that you have never been to a dentist who is right for you: in fact one that probably is right for anyone. You need someone who specialises in phobias to whom you can open up, be completely honest and receive understanding and empathy from them.
So the next step - finding us is the first - is to find a dentist, the right dentist for you. Have a look, as Mary has said, in the dentist finder section to see if there are any recommendations in your area. If not, let us know your general area and perhaps someone can recommend someone. Alternatively, search the internet and see what you can come up with or, if you feel able to speak with your doctor, ask him/her if he/she could recommend a suitable dentist.
Then, have a look at the dentist's website, they usually have one, and if you feel unable to make personal contact by phone, email and be completely honest in that email, all your fears and worries, past dental experiences. The more a dentist knows about you the better placed he or she is to help you.
The next step would be making that actual appointment. That really is a scarey thing but again, it would be consultation, nothing would be done and you would have the opportunity of really outlining your experiences, your fears etc. If you feel you would be unable to speak about it, start making out a list ready to hand the list over. But they must know. Its no good bottling things up and trying to appear brave. They have to know the extent of your phobia.
I won't go on at any further length. Just wanted to say hello and well done on finding us. With the support you will get from like minded people here, some who are at the same stage as you, others in middle of treatment, or even the lucky ones who have finished treatment and just need their monthly check ups, you will find you are able to achieve what you might now be thinking is the impossible - getting your teeth back to a healthy happy state. And believe me, with modern dental technology and equipment and the right dentist any treatment can be painfree. Do keep reading and posting here to update us on how you are getting on.

moonlight! The other ones who have replied to you have said a lot of good stuff, so I'll just comment on this:

moonlight said:

The only thing I can remember was that she said, that next time I came there we needed to make that hole I had…And I could cry or fight as much as I would, she would just find someone who could help holding me down in the chair, so that she could fix the hole.

Click to expand...

Most people here would consider this dentist to be the worst possible for a phobic. I would have liked her in my days of dental anxiety! I have, and used to have it as a lot worse, this silly fear of losing control and hitting/kicking/slapping/grabbing the dentist/doctor/nurse and causing harm to him/her and meself. Having someone hold me down would pretty much be a dream situation for me, if I for some reason couldn't have a sedative. So that I could panic and get a "fight or flight" reaction, literaly, and still I wouldn't have to go home with a necessary procedure undone. I thought I was the only one to feel like this, when I've been hanging around on this forum, but maybe this "horrible" dentist just had met too many people like me!

All dental phobics are different, and someone's dream dentist may be someone else's nightmare. A truly "phobic friendly" dentist would understand this and be ready to do totally different things to different patients (eg sedation or not, show instruments or not). My previous dentist sometimes suggested to not do the procedure at all if I started crying or said something like "oh no". I didn't like that. Made me feel like I have to behave like a normal person if I want my teeth fixed, otherwise nothing will be done. Scary to me.

I understand completely that for a person who is the exact opposite to me your experience must have been incredibly scary. With writing this I just wanted to make you think that maybe your horror dentist was only trying to help you. If I had been in that situation, I would have calmed down immediately, because for me it's important to know there's a way to do whatever has to be done even if my fear makes me a bit uncooperative. You are different, and you need to be treated in a totally different way than me. I hope you find the right dentist fou just you!

I'm not sure what the legal situation in Finland is, but in the UK at least, holding a patient down would constitute assault... I do think that you're in a minority here, Finnishgirl . To each their own though .

Not sure I agree that one needs a dentist who "specialises in phobics" - (a) there's no such specialty (unless one is talking about being qualified in providing sedation, which some people want and others don't) and (b) if we're not strictly speaking about sedation in particular, a dentist's personality would appear to me to be a better predictor of their suitability. Also, many general dentists adopt techniques originally designed for child patients into their work with phobic adults - they don't necessarily need to be specialists to do so. However, if you would prefer a dentist who offers sedation, then obviously making sure that your "shortlisted" dentists actually offer it is a great idea . But it's really difficult (impossible?) to give a catch-all suggestion - so much depends on individual circumstances (including the actual dental work involved). And as we all know, a dentist who might be perfect for one person might not do the trick for someone else.