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I need to vent and feel I'm not alone with this

  • Thread starter Beatrice evangeline
  • Start date
Beatrice evangeline

Beatrice evangeline

Junior member
Joined
Aug 20, 2008
Messages
3
Location
England
Hello everyone.

I'm 37 and having problems coming to terms with the dental treatment I need and hope that writing it down will help to clear my head. I've been panicking (not eating, not sleeping, crying non stop) for about two weeks now and I feel I just can't take any more.

About 20 years ago I was the recipient of a bit of malpractice during my first ever dental treatment - aged 18 I'd never been taken to a dentist and so inevitably needed a couple of surgical extractions and some fillings - in short doing the first extraction the dentist used the wrong technique (just tried to pull it) and knocked the healthy tooth next to the one being treated out - and in order to cover her back simply shoved it back in and told me it was an accident and it would be fine - which it kind of was until recently...

I went to my new dentist a couple of weeks ago and was told it has to come out. As it has never sat properly and is a constant reminder of what happened

(outrage about that doesn't do any good as it was 20 years ago, I was a working class teenager with no support network and times were very different, also I did kind of recover for this long so complaining about it to the NHS would have got me nowhere then. Which is not to say I don't torture myself about how powerless I was etc etc)

Anyway - although I didn't have a problem with the second surgical extraction done properly I have now developed a fear severe enough to have caused two weeks during which I've not eaten, slept, talked or thought about anything but teeth and driven my husband mad - I went to see a counsellor last week, which calmed me down for a couple of hours but now we're back to square one.

My dentist will not treat me without sedation as I was a tearful wreck just having my teeth cleaned at my last appointment - he is a top ranking private dentist for obvious reasons (NHS NO WAY EVER AGAIN) and we have agreed that the offending tooth needs to come out and as it is next to the gap I already have and the tooth behind that has slid into it at an alarming angle he can correct my bite and fill the gap I've always had by giving me a bridge. As I'll be sedated I'll also be having my wisdom teeth out and my bite corrected on the other side with a kind of extended crown.

The trouble is the bridge - My real sticking point is that I desperately don't want more healthy teeth to be damaged by being prepared as anchors and I'm doubtful about how secure I would feel with a bridge. I know gaps cause trouble but I'm still not comfortable with having something stuck on top of two (now ruined - and yet again by a dentist) teeth. I'm a severe 'picker' and know if i was aware of the thing I'd get it off somehow.

If it improves my bite, doesn't annoy me and lasts a lifetime then great - but if it is annoying/feels unsafe and for whatever reason beaks or has to come off in 3 years what then? I just don't know what to do. Part of me knows I'm too screwed up about this tooth to make a rational decision to go with what my dentist says is the right thing to do.

I'm very tired and weak now but need to be able to make the right choice for me in a couple of weeks at the outside as the appointment is for the end of September. I can handle gaps - I can kind of handle what happened to me (I've lived with both for a long time) but a very expensive and horrid appliance? :o just on account of some stupid inept woman 20 years ago? on the other hand this thing could finally give me the ability to chew properly again and act as a 'retainer' on my remaing back tooth

i could go on forever - this feels so unreal but I'm hoping just coming here will help me find peace of mind and somehow I'll be able to make a decision I'll be able to live with.

B E x x
 
You've definitely come to the right place for support! First off a big congrats for being able to tell everyone here how you feel it's a very big first step because before coming here no one knew about my fear or how severe it was!

I don't know much about partials as I don't have them but I would say your dentist is positive your healthy teeth will be able to keep it intact and wouldn't jeapordise those teeth. You seem to have a good amount of trust in him and that's definitely a good thing. Just remember that he's gone to school for many years just to learn about teeth and because of that he knows what's best!

I hope that I have helped you in some way and good luck with everything! :XXLhug:

I can give you some good foods to eat after the extractions (I had two impacted wisdom teeth removed on Friday so now I feel like soft food expert!)
 
Hi B E and :welcome: to the forum!
Did your new dentist mention the possibility of an implant at all? I too wouldn't be too pleased to have two teeth that aren't already crowned prepared for a bridge, if an implant was possible instead.
I think it's brilliant that you've come this far and I do hope you will be able to come up with a solution that suits you and your needs :grouphug:
 
Agree with Letsconnect...in your shoes I'd explore the implant option instead. It could be that your current dentist doesn't do these, although he should really have mentioned it as an alternative treatment modality and /or explained why it is not suitable in your case

If you really like your current dentist (and agree you must be sedated - not sure whether you are happy with this?) then there's no reason why just this bit can't be referred out...it would maybe be a lot to do in one go alongside wisdom teeth in any event.

I agree that private tends to be best in UK these days but you still have the right to be fussy about your dentist and whether or not they actually make accepting dental treatment easy for you by their manner/ distraction environment etc etc. You don't sound like you've clicked massively from your description.

On what basis have you decided he is a 'top ranking' private dentist?

You also seem to be saying you could happily live with the gap...that's your right to choose to do so too but there could be bite implications.
It is imperative that you make an informed choice and give informed consent...no one should be pressurising you into this and it is for that reason that I cannot unreservedly agree with another poster's comment that the dentist necessarily knows best because he's been to dental school ;).
 
So many replies already - thanks. Maybe I'll be able to reply to someone else's post one day.

I do feel I've made the right choice of dentist to get this done. I won't go into who or where he is but I like him and I do believe (as far as you ever can) that he is one of the best people I could go to in terms of technical expertise in the field of reconstruction - I'd have to really wouldn't I? I know there are good dentists working in the NHS - I have just not had experience of them, unfortunately.

My real problem is my mental state over what happened to me all those years ago - I bottled it all up as there wasn't much else I could do in the circumstances and due to this I'm worried that right now might not be the best time to decide what to do as a long term thing. I've always been able to say what happened but suddenly, having been told that something needs to be done about it, it's destroying my life with constant panic that has gone on for over two weeks now.

The dentist did offer an implant (his clinic does implantology) but I said no straight away. It's just not one of the options for me. besides it's my lower jaw and I've lost a lot of bone in that area due to the intended extraction and the accidental one.

I am having bite problems now with the back molar which has 'tipped up' into the gap (my gaps were never mentioned as being problematic by any of my previous dentists) so I'm chewing on the back edge of it. I wasn't really aware of this until my new dentist showed me - another shock! As well as replacing the tooth I would have lost anyway at the age of 18 the bridge could support this and give me back the even bite I haven't had since I was a young teen.

Due to my bad experience though I'm definitely not happy about cutting down another healthy tooth as a support. But if I don't I could lose the back tooth due to it's continued movement.

On one level I do think I could live with a bigger gap as it is just a simpler thing to get my head round - but then again maybe improving that whole side with some decent dental work would help me make a new start? cutting down one more tooth might be a small price to pay seeing as I can't change anything that brought me to this.

It's all just such a lot to take in, but I won't be a victim again. I've made another appointment with the counsellor and my GP and will continue to ask my dentist questions before I go in in three weeks time.

last thing - Whatever I have done this time I'm absolutely sure sedation is the only way to go! I hope this answers everything people took the time to ask about.
 
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Cheers for the extra info - I'm really pleased you seem to have covered all the bases and like and trust your dentist.
However.....it sounds like maybe you dismissed the notion of an implant without hearing the full pros and cons. I know they seem like a scary idea but they actually aren't - there are no nerves in bone for instance.
Maybe to put your mind at rest you should have that bit of the conversation again - e.g. what would the pros and cons of an implant be in my case. If I were your dearly beloved wife, would would you advise her to do for the best in the same dental situation?
Either way, you will be happier that you have indeed made the right choice for you.

The other thought is that if an implant were to fail, the bridge option would still be available to you whereas the reverse is not the case in the sense that the other tooth would have already had structure removed.

Please don't worry about the NHS/private thing ;), I well understand that what is on offer (outside the oral surgery hospital environment) has for too long been rather basic to say the least. I have chosen to use private UK dentists for in excess of 20 years. I just didn't want you to be in the hands of a cosmetic fly by night merchant hiding behind a Harley Street address.
Let us know how it goes :grouphug:
 
Thanks Brit, that was a good answer.

Writing it all down has helped enormously and I am pretty sure I have decided that irreversible work involving multiple crowns (he wants to put an extended crown on the other side to fill the by now shrunken gap there from the job that was properly done) and a bridge would be a step too far for me at the moment and just because I can afford this work now my feelings about the new crown and bridge would be much worse than just having a bigger gap on one side than I'm used to, bite implications or not. Either way I have to come to terms with what happened to me and I feel it would be easier to first deal properly with the long awaited loss of this tooth by itself without rushing into reducing other completely healthy teeth to 'make up' for it. Am I making any sense here?

The sedation is a big thing but to have as much reconstructive work done as possible at one time so as not to 'waste it' would I think be wrong for me, being the type of person I am I would need to feel absolutely secure about having something non removeable put in my mouth. Especially at a time when I'm completely hysterical about the whole thing 24 hours a day.

I beat myself up every day for going to the dentist that day so long ago - 'if only I'd put up with that rotten stump for another 10 years it would all be alright....' I rail on the system for allowing treatment like that to pass as acceptable (my doctor just gave me painkillers and antibiotics without raising an eyebrow, I got the feeling he'd seen it all before) and I rail on my poor late parents for not taking responsibility for their child's teeth a lot earlier. Crowns and bridges won't help me with any of that. Not yet at least.
 
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Hello Beatrice: you've already been given great advice and support here and I just wanted to add my two'pennyworth. You've done so well, considering past experiences in getting to this stage and finding us on top of making an appointment is really the icing on the cake. We're a great crowd and hopefully can give you lots of support and encouragement.

Thankfully you have found a dentist in whom you have trust and confidence and therefore it should be easier to be completely honest and voice your fears and concerns or, if not voicing them, write everything down and hand over a piece of paper either at the appointment, or by email beforehand. I'm sure that if you can be completely honest and open about what has happened before and your present state of mind, it will be a huge relief and can only help the bonding process between you and dentist. I know in my own case my first appointment with a dentist was just talking, talking, talking (and listening) and really getting to know each other and building up confidence and trust in each other.

So welcome to this site, be proud of how far you've come so far and I'm sure everything is going to work out just fine for you. Just keep posting here and you'll continue to get replies of support which really do help.
 

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