annajayne
Member
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2008
- Messages
- 97
- Location
- Texas
Some things are worse than death
Thanks in advance for anyone who makes it through this post. I'm not sure where I'm going but I know where I came from and I guess that is what is important in this post. I am here because I am now just under thirty and now need to consider dentures. I have no molars, I cannot eat healthy food and I'm am constantly in pain or have some kind of a dental infection of some sort. While I'm on the search for a decent prosthedontist or something similiar in the DFW area- I am reliving my dental hell so that I can get business taken care of.
Lesseeee
I was born with a series of birth defects which created some health problems in my younger years. I had chronic kidney infections which meant a lot of medications growing up. I do not have memories of my mother making sure I brushed my teeth every night but I do remember the concept being at least a semi-casual teaching in my pre 10-year-old years. I think the teeth became a back seat issue because of my other chronic health issues growing up.
I remember going to the dentist for check ups when I was a little girl - I remember losing my first baby tooth- but I believe I developed dental phobia when my permanant teeth came in. A few weeks after one of my permanant molars came in, I remember it itching and being painful around the gum area. I remember my room and my mom telling me we were going to visit a dentist after looking at my mouth herself. She later made an appointment with a dentist I had never met before. See, we had not lived in Oklahoma very long in 1988.
I believe that this particular incident effected my view of adults in general for the rest of my life. I had no idea at the time, but this one dental visit would effect the rest of my life in unimaginable ways. The dentist himself has probably long forgotten me. I was probably just a pain in his ass that day.
When I was 8 years old my parents took me to a dentist in Oklahoma as one of my first molars needed a root canal. The dentist didn't allow the parents in the little room he did the work in and I remember he had a very harsh personality.
I don't remember arriving at the actual dentist office. I remember my parents being told that they had to be in the waiting room. I remember being scared.
I did not realize what was going on at the time and I had no parents to give direction or comfort. My parents went into the waiting room not realizing that the dentist was not child friendly.
I remember this room as if it were yesterday. I remember the smells along with the use of words he applied to a child he had no tolerance for. I remember feeling very insecure. I already had a white coat syndrome as it was due to the multiple medical procedures I had needed in my youth. In spite of that, I never once experienced an unloving pair of hands before this very appointment though in the medical world.
I remember the dentist shoving a rubber square in my mouth to keep it open. It was in the right side. His assistant was just as irritated as he was but I don't remember her saying much.
I remember crying - I really didn't want to be there. There was no "mask" that made me go to sleep. The dentist put a shot in my mouth - it was the first one I had ever had. I remember the shot hurt but he said it would hurt worse if I moved so I just cried and didn't move. After he took the needle out I remember the exact words "The shot doesn't hurt, you don't have any nerves there quit being a fraidy cat"
I remember he went away for a while - I sat there with the rubber square between my molars on the right side. I felt the saliva in my mouth gagging me but I lacked the practice in swollowing my own saliva and nasty novacaine taste with rubber holding my mouth open so wide so I sat there quietly panicking and feeling like I was slowly drowning.
I remember the dentist coming back later. I was still crying a bit. The dentist and his assistant began their work. The dentist was forceful with my face. I remember this and his comments about me not doing what I told him to. I don't really remember what it was I wasn't doing, I only remember not knowing what the hell was going on.
When the drill started, I remember that being scary at first but there was no pain. Not long afterwords, there was pain and it was horrible. The dentist did not stop. He kept repeating the words over and over that the shot blocked all feeling. Little did he know (or care) at the time that he did not place the novacaine shot in the right place. I have given birth since then and that pain was nothing compared to the pain I felt at the age of 8 having root canal done on a tooth with no anasthesia.
The last of the procedure I remember was the dentist stopped drilling because I was screaming and crying. I wanted my mother - I remember the distinct words "If you don't shut - up you'll never see your mother again"
I really don't remember much after that. I remember more of the pain and I remember seeing stars (floaters) in the ceiling. I remember blacking out at some point because I got dizzy real quick. It was the floaters that makes me think I got dizzy but its entirely possible i just don't remember the rest.
I remember leaving the dentist room when it was done. The dentists assistant gave me this toy for "being so good" it looked like straw that you can stick both fingers in. If you pull your fingers apart they would get stuck. It was blue and red.
My cheek was huge and swollen. Apparently the dentist realized later that he had placed the shot in the wrong place. My cheek looked like someone had shoved a baseball into it. I remember my mother talking to all of my grandparents that shot issue. As a child, I didn't know at the time that the pain was related in any way. I didn't realize that until much later in life.
Nonetheless. The thought of returning to the dentist ever since has brought on many boughts of anxiety and depression so fierce that the thought of suicide has come up a number of times over the years in response to time periods where I realized that I would need to see a dentist or I would succumb to infection, simply not eat, or endure months of horrible pain. I avoided the whole situation by just never saying anything. I went through a brief period of dental phobia "recovery" when I was 16 when my mother started dental treatment with a dental office in Carrollton, Tx.
The first two dentists there that started my treatment were fine (extensive - all of my teeth needed treatment of some sort) the father of one of the younger dentists however, who did one of my treatments was very degrating, humiliating and had no care for dignity whatsoever. Here I am, a 16 year old girl - he doesn't know me from Jane next door and he is lecturing me, tearing me down and blaming my bad teeth on me - telling me that I am looking at having false teeth and if I had bothered to brush my teeth and get to the dentist blah blah blah. Maybe he was right. I brushed my teeth - twice a day. I was too terrified to go to the dentist so I did what I could to prevent ever going that is true. Anyone who had lived through my ordeal probably would as well. My mother had financial problems so I never went much anyway. While I started working when I was 14 I did not have the life knowledge to "suck it up and go to the dentist anyway" I just knew that going meant extreme suffering. I could not tell it apart from punishment in any way shape, or form unlike most people who consider dentistry a way to take care of yourself and love yourself. More goes here but I alread feel like this is long enough.
My last dentist who is responsible for me even being here retired a few years ago. His name is Dr. Michael Brown and he worked in the Presbyterian professional offices. He was the nicest dentist I ever had. He worked by himself with a foriegn assistant, both of whom bugged the crap out of me to make sure I came back when I needed to but whom did not berrate me when I got upset about it. Truth be told, I was in an emergency situation when I got there. Had it not been for Dr. Brown and his wit (moreso than his dental skills) I would have lost all of my teeth at 21. I found him because I had visit a Castle Dental place out of necessity - I went through the trouble of writing a letter to the dentist ahead of time to tell him my fears and give him an opportunity to cancel my appointment if he couldn't do the basic things I asked to make my visit less fearful. He either didn't read my letter or cared less. The result I don't want to go into here right now but I cannot tell you that I would be alive today if it were not for Dr. Brown.
Ok so thats one part. Its time for me to find a dental prosthedontist. I have gotten to the point where I need to get replacement teeth (a full set) and that is what brought me here. I need to break through all of the barriers that keep me from getting this done. Believe it or not, pain isn't the issue either. I have built up quite a tolerance to pain over the years. I want to keep my dignity and truly don't know how well prosthetic teeth will work for me because my face is so messed up inside.
I have a three year old now so I can't just not take care of this. I just lost a filling in the one of two teeth I can chew with right now and I know for a fact the infection in it will be getting bad pretty soon. once the tooth comes out, I won't have any that bite together any more so I won't just be seeing a dentist or whatever for an extraction but for a full recovery. I can't afford anymore root canals, crowns or fillings. I have already sent a few kids to college off of my dental work. I want to eat raw vegetables. I want to smile and feel good about it. I don't want to be in pain anymore and I am done with infections constantly making me tired. Yesterday I woke up with a high fever and a fat cheek. It bothered me that the first thing I thought of was how quickly this infection could kill me so that I could just move on and not have to deal with any of it anymore.
Thanks in advance for anyone who makes it through this post. I'm not sure where I'm going but I know where I came from and I guess that is what is important in this post. I am here because I am now just under thirty and now need to consider dentures. I have no molars, I cannot eat healthy food and I'm am constantly in pain or have some kind of a dental infection of some sort. While I'm on the search for a decent prosthedontist or something similiar in the DFW area- I am reliving my dental hell so that I can get business taken care of.
Lesseeee
I was born with a series of birth defects which created some health problems in my younger years. I had chronic kidney infections which meant a lot of medications growing up. I do not have memories of my mother making sure I brushed my teeth every night but I do remember the concept being at least a semi-casual teaching in my pre 10-year-old years. I think the teeth became a back seat issue because of my other chronic health issues growing up.
I remember going to the dentist for check ups when I was a little girl - I remember losing my first baby tooth- but I believe I developed dental phobia when my permanant teeth came in. A few weeks after one of my permanant molars came in, I remember it itching and being painful around the gum area. I remember my room and my mom telling me we were going to visit a dentist after looking at my mouth herself. She later made an appointment with a dentist I had never met before. See, we had not lived in Oklahoma very long in 1988.
I believe that this particular incident effected my view of adults in general for the rest of my life. I had no idea at the time, but this one dental visit would effect the rest of my life in unimaginable ways. The dentist himself has probably long forgotten me. I was probably just a pain in his ass that day.
When I was 8 years old my parents took me to a dentist in Oklahoma as one of my first molars needed a root canal. The dentist didn't allow the parents in the little room he did the work in and I remember he had a very harsh personality.
I don't remember arriving at the actual dentist office. I remember my parents being told that they had to be in the waiting room. I remember being scared.
I did not realize what was going on at the time and I had no parents to give direction or comfort. My parents went into the waiting room not realizing that the dentist was not child friendly.
I remember this room as if it were yesterday. I remember the smells along with the use of words he applied to a child he had no tolerance for. I remember feeling very insecure. I already had a white coat syndrome as it was due to the multiple medical procedures I had needed in my youth. In spite of that, I never once experienced an unloving pair of hands before this very appointment though in the medical world.
I remember the dentist shoving a rubber square in my mouth to keep it open. It was in the right side. His assistant was just as irritated as he was but I don't remember her saying much.
I remember crying - I really didn't want to be there. There was no "mask" that made me go to sleep. The dentist put a shot in my mouth - it was the first one I had ever had. I remember the shot hurt but he said it would hurt worse if I moved so I just cried and didn't move. After he took the needle out I remember the exact words "The shot doesn't hurt, you don't have any nerves there quit being a fraidy cat"
I remember he went away for a while - I sat there with the rubber square between my molars on the right side. I felt the saliva in my mouth gagging me but I lacked the practice in swollowing my own saliva and nasty novacaine taste with rubber holding my mouth open so wide so I sat there quietly panicking and feeling like I was slowly drowning.
I remember the dentist coming back later. I was still crying a bit. The dentist and his assistant began their work. The dentist was forceful with my face. I remember this and his comments about me not doing what I told him to. I don't really remember what it was I wasn't doing, I only remember not knowing what the hell was going on.
When the drill started, I remember that being scary at first but there was no pain. Not long afterwords, there was pain and it was horrible. The dentist did not stop. He kept repeating the words over and over that the shot blocked all feeling. Little did he know (or care) at the time that he did not place the novacaine shot in the right place. I have given birth since then and that pain was nothing compared to the pain I felt at the age of 8 having root canal done on a tooth with no anasthesia.
The last of the procedure I remember was the dentist stopped drilling because I was screaming and crying. I wanted my mother - I remember the distinct words "If you don't shut - up you'll never see your mother again"
I really don't remember much after that. I remember more of the pain and I remember seeing stars (floaters) in the ceiling. I remember blacking out at some point because I got dizzy real quick. It was the floaters that makes me think I got dizzy but its entirely possible i just don't remember the rest.
I remember leaving the dentist room when it was done. The dentists assistant gave me this toy for "being so good" it looked like straw that you can stick both fingers in. If you pull your fingers apart they would get stuck. It was blue and red.
My cheek was huge and swollen. Apparently the dentist realized later that he had placed the shot in the wrong place. My cheek looked like someone had shoved a baseball into it. I remember my mother talking to all of my grandparents that shot issue. As a child, I didn't know at the time that the pain was related in any way. I didn't realize that until much later in life.
Nonetheless. The thought of returning to the dentist ever since has brought on many boughts of anxiety and depression so fierce that the thought of suicide has come up a number of times over the years in response to time periods where I realized that I would need to see a dentist or I would succumb to infection, simply not eat, or endure months of horrible pain. I avoided the whole situation by just never saying anything. I went through a brief period of dental phobia "recovery" when I was 16 when my mother started dental treatment with a dental office in Carrollton, Tx.
The first two dentists there that started my treatment were fine (extensive - all of my teeth needed treatment of some sort) the father of one of the younger dentists however, who did one of my treatments was very degrating, humiliating and had no care for dignity whatsoever. Here I am, a 16 year old girl - he doesn't know me from Jane next door and he is lecturing me, tearing me down and blaming my bad teeth on me - telling me that I am looking at having false teeth and if I had bothered to brush my teeth and get to the dentist blah blah blah. Maybe he was right. I brushed my teeth - twice a day. I was too terrified to go to the dentist so I did what I could to prevent ever going that is true. Anyone who had lived through my ordeal probably would as well. My mother had financial problems so I never went much anyway. While I started working when I was 14 I did not have the life knowledge to "suck it up and go to the dentist anyway" I just knew that going meant extreme suffering. I could not tell it apart from punishment in any way shape, or form unlike most people who consider dentistry a way to take care of yourself and love yourself. More goes here but I alread feel like this is long enough.
My last dentist who is responsible for me even being here retired a few years ago. His name is Dr. Michael Brown and he worked in the Presbyterian professional offices. He was the nicest dentist I ever had. He worked by himself with a foriegn assistant, both of whom bugged the crap out of me to make sure I came back when I needed to but whom did not berrate me when I got upset about it. Truth be told, I was in an emergency situation when I got there. Had it not been for Dr. Brown and his wit (moreso than his dental skills) I would have lost all of my teeth at 21. I found him because I had visit a Castle Dental place out of necessity - I went through the trouble of writing a letter to the dentist ahead of time to tell him my fears and give him an opportunity to cancel my appointment if he couldn't do the basic things I asked to make my visit less fearful. He either didn't read my letter or cared less. The result I don't want to go into here right now but I cannot tell you that I would be alive today if it were not for Dr. Brown.
Ok so thats one part. Its time for me to find a dental prosthedontist. I have gotten to the point where I need to get replacement teeth (a full set) and that is what brought me here. I need to break through all of the barriers that keep me from getting this done. Believe it or not, pain isn't the issue either. I have built up quite a tolerance to pain over the years. I want to keep my dignity and truly don't know how well prosthetic teeth will work for me because my face is so messed up inside.
I have a three year old now so I can't just not take care of this. I just lost a filling in the one of two teeth I can chew with right now and I know for a fact the infection in it will be getting bad pretty soon. once the tooth comes out, I won't have any that bite together any more so I won't just be seeing a dentist or whatever for an extraction but for a full recovery. I can't afford anymore root canals, crowns or fillings. I have already sent a few kids to college off of my dental work. I want to eat raw vegetables. I want to smile and feel good about it. I don't want to be in pain anymore and I am done with infections constantly making me tired. Yesterday I woke up with a high fever and a fat cheek. It bothered me that the first thing I thought of was how quickly this infection could kill me so that I could just move on and not have to deal with any of it anymore.
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