Trying to get the courage to go,in 7 years...very long

I just found this website, and I'm so glad I did. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous, so ignore my rambles! I have never,ever spoken about my dental issues to a soul, not even my husband of 7 years.


I'm facing (very shortly) the reality of going to the dentist for the first time in 7 years I'm very ashamed to say. The last time I went to the doctor, it was forced by my parents. After I got married, the fear was just so overwhelming, I never went again. As a child I had many many bad experiences with dentists. I had an experience once when I was about seven years old, where I was not numb and the dentist began to drill. I've given birth natural to two children in recent years, and the pain from that dentist visit was 1,000 times worse. I will never forget it. Other times caps would fall off, and I have permanent jaw problems from one dentist pushing so hard trying to get a silver cap on, that my jaw popped very loudly and has never stopped. To this day chewing is very 'loud'.

To make matters worse, as a child dental hygeine was just not something very stressed. I'm not even sure it would have mattered! I was born with a genetic disorder that I've been told (by the only good dentist I had, who has since retired) that it's called Amilio Genisis imperfecta (sorry if the spelling is off) as a child no MATTER what I did, no matter how much sugar I avoided, how hard I brushed, I would have multiple cavaties each cleaning. It was just such a let down, almost like why bother? I even went through a period as a teen where for about 4 years I drank nothing but water, because the fear of sugar or anything causing cavaties or discoloing my teeth even more, was so horrible to me.


Anyway-fast forward a few years. In 2003 my husband and I lost our health insurance when he switched jobs, and couldnt afford the $200ish a month at the time. Eventually we got to where we could afford it, and picked it up in 2005. But in that time period I developed a cavity, the first one in a few years. I thought, no big deal....next year I'll have it fixed. But it became very sensitive to hot/cold, and eventually I couldnt brush or floss that area. Then it spread to the next tooth to the left (my teeth are very close together). So then I had two I had to favor. Then it spread to the third, and fourth. So that's where I'am today. Facing ALOT of money to repair these four teeth, which are basically non existant anymore. I dont even know what can be done to save them. I'm only in my mid twenties! I'm consumed day and night with worry about going, the embarrassment of letting someone see them (I also had a back tooth abcess, and after 5 days of unbearable pain it passed, but the tooth is left that I cant chew on, and I have a swollen gum around the tooth) and the overall cost. Our insurance covers 80% of most procedures, but the other 20% is due up front, that day. If I'm looking at $5,000 in repairs atleast $1,000 due that day. Many procedures arent even covered, and since I have no idea what will be needed, I cant even guarantee that's all. Which is why I've been praying, and sort of dreading Friday, January 16,2008. Tax return day. After that, I can go. But I'm so scared!


As I mentioned, my dentist has since retired, and I have no idea how to go about finding a dentist. Overall, the embarrassment is the worst. I cry every single night, I feel so helpless over it. My husband has no idea, or he would have sold everything we own to have this fixed earlier. He has beautiful, perfect white teeth and has NEVER had a cavity.


I guess I just finally needed to type this out, and tell someone what I've been fearing/dreading/feeling guilty over most of my adulthood. I have two children, and my son also appears to have the genetic issue which breaks my heart. I was teased horribly as a child. Thankfully my daughter doesnt have it, and she has beautiful strong healthy teeth like her dad. I want to set an example for them, and not be afraid. How can I calm their fears about going, when I myself wont even allow myself to think about it?


I have to find the courage to start looking (soon) for a dentist, and make that first call, but I just cant seem to do it. Last year I had planned to do it, but unexpectedly, we had to purchase another car, and my 'tooth money' went to that down payment.

Hi,

I think you’ve made a big step just by sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to talk about it, even on a forum where you’re essentially anonymous.
The hardest thing for me to overcome was that feeling of shame and embarrassment. But when I did and started on the road to recovery, my fear just washed away because I was finally taking action.

One thing you mention, about only being in your twenties, reminds me of something. I just got a full upper denture. I was very depressed about it before I got it because I am still a young-feeling forty-six. I always thought dentures were for the elderly.
But then I read somewhere that dentures are just something you need. If you need glasses, you get glasses. If you need a knee brace you get a need brace. I needed a denture, so that’s what I got.
Even though you’re in your twenties, if you need some reconstructive work don’t think of it as a bad thing. It’s just something you need.

I hope you do find the courage to make that call. I know it’s one of the hardest things in the world to do. Recently I finally made that call, and even though it’s been a lot of work, I now am happy for the first time in many years. And I’m able to smile again.

Good luck, and keep updating. I would like to know how things go if (no… not if… WHEN) you make that call.

Peace,
Mark