about to kill myself unless this pain goes away

The dentist said theres a little bit to come out where she thinks the nerve is dying, sadly there isn't a lot back there after all these years... the few whole teeth that are still there she said I might need filling... but nothing that would be too difficult to get me 'dentally fit' again.. music to my ears.

I know have to go and contact the dentist I had seen years ago, to arrange treatment, as today was only the emergency dentist. I am still scared, even though I got through today (and trust me, this morning I was soo far away from even doing that!) But I have had a private message from Holly, offering to make me that appointment too..!!! (bless her).

I am considering finding a NHS dentist so that the bill wont be too horrendous.. last time I went (privately - and about 6 years ago) it cost me over £400 and took me a year to pay it all off!

Anyway, whatever comes next, I know I will deal with it... reading some of the personal stories on this site has given me so much strength, and also courage.
The main message I will take with me is ''this too will pass'' and that even the most terrifying thoughts of what may have to come, it wont last forever, and in the long run, I will be 'free'.

Free of the thoughts of not being able to smile, eat properly, even look at a toothpaste advert without shivers down my spine. I couldn't even go to the Dr's with a sore throat, incase he had to look in my mouth!

I've craved that freedom.. and it's taken this amount of pain to make me do something about it.

When I finally achieve a decent level of mouth fitness, nothing will beat me.

Although that may be a long way off... I feel like I've taken the first step, with help from this fantastic site, and of course Holly.

Bless you all...

(Tomorrow's another day of course.. )