Just found this forum

Hi there, I just found this forum when looking for a dentist nearby. Just looking for one gets me nervous, to the point I feel sick. Dentists are about the only thing I can say I actually fear. The sounds, the feeling, laying back with a masked person hovering over you, sticking their fingers and other things in your mouth.... I'm a 29 yo male, served in the military, work in an intense and dangerous environment, yet I'm scared sh*tless by dentists (which most of my family and friends find intensely amusing).

I think it started at my first appointment when I was 6 or so. My mom took me in for a first check-up and cleaning, and the dentist discovered a cavity. The next thing I know he's coming at me with this huge silver needle, so I clamped my mouth shut. He tried prying it open (literally, he stuck some metal thing in my mouth and tried to pry it open) and cussing at me, so I bit him, kicked him and ran out of the office. He came out and yelled at my mom, and eventually his assistant recommended us to children's dentist, who I ended up going to until I was 18. I can't even get my teeth cleaned without nitrous oxide to calm me down. After that I saw the dentists in the Army when required, but that was only for routine cleaning. They wouldn't allow nitrous for such a minor procedure, but eventually I was able to convince them to let me listen to a CD player, which helped some. I admit that's it's probably a psychological adversion, but I just can't over come it.

Anyway, I haven't been to one since I got out in April '05. Now I need to go again because I know I have two or more teeth with cavities, and they're starting to hurt. I just can't bring myself to actually make an appointment. First I'm in school on the GI Bill and have no income, but I've been trying to save what I can. Second, like I said before, just looking freaks me out. my heart starts pounding, I feel sick and almost feel like crying (which really makes me feel pathetic). I'm not from the area I live in now and don't know any of the dentists, and I don't like talking to a dentist, or thier assistants, about my fears. Can anyone offer some advice for making that first appointment?

Hi Mariner109 ,

you mentioned that you don't want to talk to a dentist or assistant about your fears. Does this mean that you don't want them to know that you're scared, or do you mean that you don't want to go into the nitty-gritty details of what happened to you in the past? If the latter is the case, it's entirely understandable that you wouldn't want them to know. Personally I prefer not to go into those details either because it just brings back bad memories and makes me feel uneasy.
However, there are other ways in which you can express your fears in a more indirect way.
e.g. if you were scared of the dentist scolding you (it doesn't sound as if this is a major concern to you, just giving an example), instead of saying "I'm embarrassed and worried about what you will say about my teeth" a simple request like "Could you please not make any negative remarks" will do the trick just as well.
e.g. instead of saying "I'm scared of the sounds", a simple request like "Can I use a CD player, or is there anything else you can do to drown out the sounds" will do.

There are no rights or wrongs here, just whatever will work for you. From your description, it sounds as if you're very good at figuring out what will work for you (e.g. bringing a CD player along for dental cleanings) .

You could make out a list of things which you think will help you. There's a PDF file called "What Might Help" which is designed to give you some idea of what you're looking for in a dentist. The list is not exhaustive but a good starting point. The download is here: https://www.dentalfearcentral.org/media/what-might-help.pdf

Once you have some idea of what might help you, you can start e-mailing dentists in your area, explaining what you're looking for, and see how you like their replies. However, we strongly recommend getting some personal recommendations (from friends, acquaintances, colleagues etc.) - these tend to be more reliable, especially if they are or have been afraid of dental treatment in the past (it's much more common than you would think!).

There are lots of tips on how to find a dentist here:


You may also like to have a read through the common fears and help pages of the website. These list some common fears and how they may be tackled, and provide information on things like making the first appointment, how to handle the first appointment, and different methods for overcoming fears.

It sounds like you would like a dentist who offers nitrous oxide so you may only want to contact dentists who offer this.

We always recommend making the first appointment just for a chat, to see if you feel happy and comfortable with the potential dentists. Do ask when making an appointment whether this is possible (if the answer is "no", try somewhere else).

I hope some of these pointers might help and please let us know how you get on!

I made my first appointment, for a week from Thursday. I didn't have to ask for a consultation first, they recommended it. This first one will be to talk to the Dentist, get X-rays and see if there's any work that needs to be done before an initial cleaning. They said there was no problem with using Nitrous for cleanings, and they don't charge extra for it. They'd rather have their patients calm than skip using the Nitrous because a patient can't pay. My hand was shaking while I was talking to the receptionist, and she asked if I was okay, and how i felt making the appointment, so it sounds like they really care and are concerned about patient welfare. On a good note I was told I have a really nice smile and good teeth (at least from the outside). Now I just need to remember and not let myself skip it.

First visit in about 4 years

Well I'm off to my first appointment. Haven't been to a dentist since I got out of the Army in 2005. I'm a bit nervous, but not as bad as I thought I'd be. I just hope it stays at this level when I get to the office. This is just for consultation and x-rays so hopefully it won't be too bad....

All the best for your visit today !! Let us know how it went!

Well I do have one cavity that needs filling. And I was told I need my wisdom teeth out. My bottom left one is coming in at about a 45 degree angle and the bottom right is completely horizontal. Unfortunetly (?) I can't afford that right now, which gives me a good enough excuse not to do it. Other then that she told me that I have really good teeth. She was surprised that I've never worn braces. Now I just need to go get that filling....

Heloo
I have a tooth that is also coming in at a angle pretty much on the side :S :L
did they suggesst to you that it may need to come out ?
please get back to me

Yeah, i was told they need to come out, but I am going to wait until I graduate school and get a job. That way I'll have insurance to help pay for it rather than out of pocket. Considering I'll have to be sedated, there's no way I can afford it myself. It's either wait or don't do it and have them push out my rear molars. My mom never had her wisdom teeth out, and lost her rear molars because of it. The one on an angle is bad, but the one horizontal is really bad, so the dentist says. The one on an angle will simply push the molar next to it out, while the horizontal one will "impact" the molar next to it and crush it, or something.

Anyway, had the cleaning today. My gums have been killing me though, not used to being poked and prodded. I've got an appointment for the filling on Thursday. Really nervous, but am excited to have it done. They offered me a sedative, but I have class right after, and don't have anyone who can drive for me, so I'm going to have to settle for just nitrous.

Just got back from my filling. It was nearly as bad as I remembered. The dentist put a local on a cotton swab before she injected me. She injected twice to make sure that I was good and numb. With my Ipod on and my eyes closed I couldn't feel or see anything. I was told that the tooth edge is really thin, there is no dentin (?) there, so it could crack if I'm not careful. Also the cavity was bigger than she thought, and there might be nerve damage, so I might be looking at a root canal in the future. Now if I could just stop sounding like Sylvester the cat when I talk everything will fine. Thanks for the advice and support.

firstly well done for taking those first few steps and speaking from experience i have had 4 root canals and even though they take a bit longer than a normal filling they are fine, and also i had my first wisdom tooth extraction last week and it was fine too, i didn't feel a thing and it was over in around 30 seconds just a load of pulling and it was out i had no swelling and just took 2 paracetamol to curb the dull pain and i swear it is just a dull pain after 2 days (i got it done on friday 13th n was fine by sunday) i stopped taking the painkillers every 4 hours and only took 2 when i got up and 2 when i went to bed, i think cause i grind my teeth in my sleep i was irritating it a little , and again well done for taking those first few steps